{Justin}
I let out a breath of air as the front door closes. Now I’m left alone with just one woman.
“You’re pathetic, you know that?” she asks me, rudely.
I open my mouth to speak, but her words quickly interrupt me, “Just shut the fuck up, Justin. I don’t even wanna hear your disgusting voice…or your sorry ass excuses,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Just tell me one thing.”
“Listen, I—”
“I said I didn’t want to hear your excuses,” she snaps, angrily. “She’s gone now so you have no one to impress.”
She’s right. Chloe’s gone.
She kissed my cheek and left; she had to go to work. Elise said she was going to leave right behind her, but apparently she had other plans. Other plans to attack me—or something equally as bad. God how this is so fucked up.
“Okay,” I say, quietly. I hate to oblige her requests, but what else can I do? I don’t know why she didn’t tell Chloe about the bet; all I know is I have a really, really bad feeling about all this…
“Do you love her?” Elise suddenly asks me out of the blue.
My head quickly snaps up from the living room carpet. I stare at her in contempt. I really hate this girl. Who the fuck does she think she is? She’s gonna try to threaten me. I know where this shit is going now. “That’s none of your fucking business, bitch,” I snap, harshly.
Her eyes narrow at me. “I really wouldn’t be getting attitude if I were you, Justin.”
Stupid slut has a point.
And then she smirks at me. “So, do you love her?” she pries again, calmly repeating her question.
“N-no,” I finally stutter at last.
“No?”
“What do you want me to say, Elise? Why the fuck would you care what I feel about her anyways?” I ask, scowling at her. “So you can have something to hold over my head and threaten me about?”
Elise tosses her hair back and shifts in her seat. She’s obviously unaffected by my line of questioning. “So you don’t love her?” she repeats.
Damn it. She’s not going to let up on this, is she? She’s playing some sort of mind game with me here. I just have yet to figure out what the goal in all of this is. “No,” I finally grit out my answer. Yeah, that’s right; she’s really dumb if she thinks I’d honestly tell her anything about what I feel for someone else.
“So you are just using her.”
My skin suddenly crawls with anger as I snidely correct her, “No, I care about her.”
“Hmm…”
I watch as she observes her fingernails, then brushes off her pants. She suddenly begins to stand up. Slinging her purse over her shoulder, she walks over to where I’m sitting on the couch and looks down at me. “Let’s get something straight here. I’m not doing this as a favor to you. And I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for you...”
I bite my lip and wait for her to continue.
“I’m not gonna tell her about your lame ass bet,” she remarks, snidely.
Oh God. Thank you God. I mean, is she actually serious? No way. She’s fucking with me.
“But I’m only not doing it because Chloe’s my friend.”
She shoots me one last dirty glare before turning on her heel to leave. Just when I think she’s about to be gone, she turns around and adds, “I meant what I said earlier. You’re pathetic. And Chloe deserves someone…someone so much better than you.”
I nod. Maybe she’s right about that, but that doesn’t mean…
“Oh and one last thing, Justin.” Her voice grows sweet as she finishes, “I’m also not telling her this because I don’t need to. You see, karma’s a bitch, sweetheart. Trust me; you’ll realize that soon enough.” She smirks at me and waves her hand as she heads away once more, “So I guess I’ll see ya around.”
I wait until I hear the slam of the front door shutting before I let my head crash against the back of the couch. Shit. What am I gonna do? Chloe can’t find out about this. I mean, she just can’t. And I don’t know whether or not to believe Elise at this point. She didn’t tell Chloe yet though, so maybe she is telling the truth…
****
{Chloe}
I walk inside his door and look at him in surprise. I hear a sniffle emit from his body, see his shoulders shake with the movement. I’m sort of in shock right now. I’ve never seen Justin cry before. I just stand here for a moment, before finally, I gently ask, “Justin, are you okay?”
I close the door behind me, as I carefully make my way towards his bed. I sit down beside him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He rubs at his eyes and then his nose, hiding any sure tracks or traces of his tears. “What’s wrong, Justin?” I ask, worriedly. Guys don’t just cry for any reason; at least not the ones that I’ve ever known.
“Justin?” I pry when he doesn’t answer.
“My mom just called,” he says, softly.
“What’d she say?” I ask him, soothingly rubbing my hand up and down his back. Poor thing, he looks miserable. Even I feel sorry for him. “Is there something wrong?” God that was a stupid question. Obviously there’s something wrong for him to have been crying. I’m such a dumbass sometimes…
“My grandpa died.”
I take in a sharp breath of air, and then I’m saying the only thing that comes to mind at the moment. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why? It’s not like you killed him,” Justin shakily comments, tears in his voice.
“Come here,” I immediately say, grabbing him by the side. Justin turns in my direction, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He buries his head in my shoulder and sniffles against my skin. I rub at the back of his neck, petting his fuzzy head. He squeezes me tightly and whispers, “Chloe…”
“Shhh, don’t talk. It's okay sweetie…” I comfort him, gently.
He obeys my orders and grows silent again, just letting me hold him. We stay like this for a few minutes as his breathing lulls to a calm state. When he finally pulls away to look at me, his eyes are dark blue—intense with emotion. “I’m leaving tonight,” he says to me. “I’ll be gone for a week.”
I look down at my hands. A few months ago, I would have rejoiced at his leaving for a week. Now I don’t feel so happy about it. “Oh,” I whisper.
“I’m going back to Tennessee to be with my family and…” His voice cracks as he finishes off, “and to go to the funeral.”
A silence falls over us for a moment. Eventually, I softly ask, “Were you and your grandpa close?”
“Yes, I’m very close to both my grandparents,” he answers me, sadly.
I gulp and nod. My eyes meet his once more. “So—are you all packed to go and stuff?”
“Yeah. Trace is actually picking me up and taking me to the airport in about fifteen minutes. I was gonna leave a note if you and Chris didn’t get home in time—but uh just—just let Chris know what’s going on for me, okay?”
I nod my head. “Yeah, yeah I will.”
Another silence creeps over the room. I really don’t know what to say. I mean, what is there to say in situations like this? Nothing. So I just stay quiet, staring at the wall and ever so often, looking over at him to see his face.
Our eyes suddenly meet and Justin’s voice sparks another conversation, “Do you think I’m a horrible person, Chloe?”
“Why are yo—”
He’s looking down at his hands now as he flatly states, “I do.”
“Justin, I don’t think you’re a horrible person,” I say, trying to convince him otherwise. This is the first time that I’ve ever seen him like this. I don’t know—it’s just weird. It’s sort of like I’m seeing some genuine part of him or something. I don’t quite know how to explain it to you. I guess I just feel like he’s actually being real right now—real and unguarded.
“You used to.”
I sigh. “Things have changed…you’ve changed.”
He shrugs his shoulders and looks up at me again, “That Alex guy. You wanna be with him, don’t you?”
Alex. I haven’t seen him in a few days. I don’t even know anymore. “I—I don’t know,” I answer him honestly.
Justin solemnly nods his head. “But you don’t wanna be with me,” he whispers, matter-of-factly.
“It’s not that I…”
He smiles at me sadly and interrupts me before I can even get started. “Look, don’t worry about it,” he says. “I understand.”
He really doesn’t. He doesn’t understand at all. “I don’t think you do.”
“It’s probably better this way, anyways, you know. Someone like you should be with…”
Just when I thought he was being a genuine, sweet and caring person--someone with a real heart--he’s going to go and insult me. I wonder what exactly type of person Justin thinks I should be with. He’s probably going to say something like a dull, mundane book nerd. “Someone like me should be with who?” I pry, at last.
He sighs and looks up at the ceiling as he quietly mutters, “Someone else who’s perfect, too.”
My heart immediately drops into my stomach at his words. Guilt, flattery, and even more guilt wash over my entire body at once. If only he knew. God, if he only he knew…if only he knew how imperfect I truly am; what a backstabbing, deceiving person that I am. Remorse floods through my veins as I quickly argue, “Justin, I’m not perfect,” I say. “I’m really not.”
He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. I look down at where we’re touching. He sighs, and says, “To me you are.”
****
“So I guess I’ll see ya when you get back, huh?” I smile, weakly. Justin glances down at his watch and nods. He drops his duffle bag to the ground and reaches out to hug me goodbye. “Call me when you get off the plane, okay? Just so I know you made it.”
He pulls back and nods at me. “Sure.” He reaches out and taps my chin. “I’ll see ya later then.”
And then he turns to leave. I watch as he starts to head away. He’s walking towards Trace’s car. A part of me is so sad that he’s leaving, and I don’t even really know why.
Suddenly, Justin’s back is no longer facing me and fading off into the distance, as he is now hurriedly making his way back over to me again “Listen, Chloe…” he quickly starts, “I know you think you can’t trust me. And I know I don’t have the best rep with women, that you think I’m just a player…”
I begin to protest, “I don’t thi—”
Justin quickly interrupts me, though.“I need you to do me a favor while I’m gone.”
I bite my lip. I can’t tell him no. Not when his grandpa just died, not when…well I just can’t say no. “Okay.”
He steps forward and comes closer. He grabs my face in his hands and looks down at me. “Will you please think about giving us a chance?” he finally whispers.
God, how can he ask me to do the one thing that I can’t possibly do? I cannot give us a chance, at least not a….
“And I mean like…a real chance, Chloe.”
Yeah, at least not a real chance.
“I know, it’s a lot to ask, but I just really wanna…be with you,” he says, honestly. “Please don’t say no now, though. I don’t think I could handle it. I just want a chance with you. I know I don’t deserve you, but…but I can change. I really can, and I….”
Trace honks his horn, obviously annoyed at how long we’re taking. Justin sighs and begins to pull away from me again. “I don’t know how you feel about me, but please just think about us….together. And when I get back, you can just—just tell me if you think you and I could ever—be.”
He leans down and places a quick kiss on my lips. And then this time he really does disappear. He runs over to the car and hops in. I watch as Trace’s vehicle fades away.
I watch as I wonder to myself how and when everything changed on me. When did things get so complicated? And most importantly, how am I ever going to find the strength to break his heart?
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