{Justin}
“Dude, what the hell is this?”
Popping another chip into my mouth, I acknowledge my friends sudden presence with a scowl. He conveniently planted himself right in front of the movie I was watching on TBS, a look of disgust on his face. “Move,” I state, simply ignoring his inquiry all together.
“Look at yourself,” Darnell counters, turning around and shutting the television off. “You’re watching You’ve Got Mail and eating junk food at four in the afternoon. What are you? Some premenstrual @#%$?” he asks, with revulsion. “Get your lazy ass up off my couch.”
“I’d rather not,” I contend.
“Did you even go to class today?”
I take a swig of my beer and then stick it back down onto the coffee table. “Nope.”
“When’s the last time you showered?”
I let out a loud belch and then shrug my shoulders. “Dunno.”
Darnell comes over and grabs the bag of potato chips off my lap, smacking the backside of my head with his free hand. “What the hell is wrong with you man?” I rub the back of my head with an angry glare. “What the fu.ck was that?”
“This is my apartment and you’re staying here rent free as of now,” he informs. “If things are gonna continue this way, you’re going to stop being a pu.ssy. Look what you’ve been reduced to,” he continues, holding his hands out as if displaying the room for an audience. “Chick flicks and a fat ass?”
“I don’t have a fat ass…” I pause. “…bi.tch.”
“Get in the shower now!” Darnell sternly tells me.
“Why should I?”
“You mean why should you take a shower besides for the fact that you smell like you live in a trash can?” He smirks when I flip him off. “Because we’re going out tonight, you pu.ssy. That’s why.”
I fold my arms over my chest, leaning further into the couch, my jaw set stubbornly. “No.”
“No you won’t shower?” He ponders, shrugging his shoulders. “Alright, but I don’t think the ladies are going to appreciate…”
“I’m not going out,” I correct him.
“Don’t make me call Trace over to help beat you,” he immediately responds. “I said we’re going out and we’re going to meet hot chicks, so go get ready.”
“What’s the point?” I scoff. “None of them are her.”
“I talked to Lisa tonight,” Darnell informs me out of nowhere. “She said she and Chloe are going to some party tonight.”
My shoulders tense at his words, my curiosity peaking at just the slightest mention of her name. “She’s going out?” I repeat with a hint of disbelief. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, man,” he confirms. “I guess she’s been pretty down lately and wanted to go out and have a good time for a change. Well, that’s what Lisa said anyways.”
“You’re just saying that.” I shake my head, not willing to believe it.
“Look,” Darnell starts. “Chloe and you aren’t together anymore. You made your decision, right?”
“So?”
“So now it’s time to move on,” he says, as if it’s the biggest discovery of the year or something.
I lean over and pick up my beer, taking another gulp. “I’d rather sit here and die, thanks.”
“Alright,” Darnell shrugs. “Sit and be a bum while Chloe’s out living it up. I tried to be a good friend and get you out of the house, but if you insist on…”
Living it up? She’s living it up? He’s right. Fu.ck that sh.it. If she’s out, then I’m sure as hell not gonna sit around pining after her like some loser. What have I been thinking, anyways? Chloe and I are over. And that’s a fact I need to get used to.
Jumping up from the couch, I announce, “I’m getting in the shower.”
* * *
“Wuz up baby girl?” I sit down on the couch besides the woman I just met tonight, slinging an arm over her tiny frame and smoothly resting it there. She’s not exactly wifey material, but whatever. I mean, she’s someone to pass the time away with and help keep me distracted at this boring party. I lean into her and she does the same, sending all the right signals to let me know she’s digging this too. We’re all nice and cozy now.
And damn, she is fine. Her smile is adorable and she’s got a great rack. I tear my eyes from her cleavage, bringing it back up to her face again. God, I love blondes. Blondes are my type, you know? Definitely not brunettes—brunettes like Chloe for example—okay, so not thinking about her right now.
After all, I’ve got a beautiful woman who’s interested in me right in from of my eyes. So obviously, I need to focus my attention on other things. Other things like @#%$ the hell outta this hot ass chick. Which I definitely can make happen by the end of the night; if I even want to do her that is.
Smirking confidently, I hand over the Cosmopolitan I had just got up to retrieve a few minutes earlier. “Here you go gorgeous.”
“Thanks,” she smiles. She takes a small sip of the drink, and then coquettishly runs a fingertip over my forearm. “You’re so sweet.”
“Mmm,” I lick my lips, raising an eyebrow at her. “Not half as sweet as I bet you taste,” I flirt right back.
“Yeah?” She giggles.
“Yup.”
She leans down and places her cup on the floor, grabbing onto the collar of my polo once she’s returned to my side. Hell yeah. She’s about to kiss me.
Yup.
Score one for Timberlake tonight.
***
{Chloe}
“I need another shot,” I mutter, my eyes drifting back towards his direction. I can’t believe this. I can’t @#%$ believe this. For the first time in a while, I felt like going out and actually doing something fun. Something to get my mind off of him. I just wanted to start over with my life. And what do I get in return? I end up at the same party, watching him with another girl.
Of course, he has his hands all over some blonde @#%$ who just can’t seem to keep her own hands off of him either. She keeps touching his arm and giggling and being a big @#%$ all together. Kind of reminds me of that @#%$ Christianne.
God, I don’t even know why I’m standing here and watching this.
Next thing I know, I see her grab onto his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. Covering a hand over my mouth, I fight the urge to vomit as I go off in search for another drink. Either that or I find Lisa and curse her for bringing me to this damn party when she must have known that Justin would be here.
I can’t believe I thought he might actually miss me. I’m such an idiot.
“More vodka?” a male voice unexpectedly proffers.
I realize I’m standing in front of the drink table and I nod my head graciously. At least something is going right. “Please.” I hold my cup out and he pours me another shot. Out of the corner of my eyes, I suddenly spot Lisa, hanging off Darnell’s arm none-the-less. Jesus, I want to kill her. Is there no such thing as human decency these days? “Thanks,” I say, heading off in their direction.
Lisa pulls away from Darnell when she sees me coming, walking over and wrapping an arm around me. “Hey girly. I thought I lost you there for a sec.”
“Yeah,” I mumble. “Hi Darnell,” I greet.
He nods politely. “Hey Chloe. You look great tonight.”
“Thanks.” I take my shot and gulp it down, glancing at Lisa when I’m done. It’s almost as if she knows what I want to say to her. She begins to explain, “I just found out that Justin is here with Darnell. I’m really sorry. I had no idea he was coming with.” She turns her gaze to Darnell disapprovingly and he gives a guilty shrug. “If you want to go somewhere else, I totally understand.”
“Why would I wanna do that?” I ask, forcing my voice to sound cheerful.
“Well, I mean….I didn’t know if you were worried about running into him or whatever. I just don’t want you to see him and torture yourself if he’s acting stupid or something. You know how Justin can….get,” she slowly finishes.
I roll my eyes. “Torture myself?” I question with nonchalance. “Over what?” A slight pause for effect. “Him? Please, girl.”
Darnell coughs uncomfortably and Lisa looks at me like she pities me even more. I guess my acting skills aren’t academy award fu.ckin’ winning after all. For some reason, I still feel the need to continue and justify my whole not caring attitude anyways. "I've been over him,” I easily lie, desperate to get away from their unnerving gazes. Grasping at straws, I hurriedly continue, “And I think I just noticed someone over there, who looks like fun. I think he smiled at me. So yeah. I’m gonna go say hi."
“Well—okay,” she answers, almost confusedly, “but make sure you check back in with me soon!”
“Yeah, sure,” I nod. “See ya two later?”
“See ya,” Darnell says.
“Good luck!” Lisa smiles in an encouraging manner that does little to hide her feeling sorry for me.
Adjusting my low-cut dress and making it a point to push out my breast, I smile at them one last time before hurriedly walking off into the crowds in search of both a cute guy and most definitely, another round of vodka.
* * *
{Justin}
“You wanna go somewhere more private?” the soft feminine whisper rings throughout my ears, a small hand rubbing up and down my chest in a suggestive manner.
Jesus. I knew I could have her when she first kissed me, but couldn’t she make this a little more difficult? I mean, she’s practically ready to fu.ck right here on the couch and we’ve barely just met. I sigh, feeling her lips briefly press against my own once again, and then again. “Justin?” she finally whispers in question.
Do I want to go somewhere more private? Not particularly. But ah, well...fu.ck it. What do I have to lose anyways? “Yeah--let’s get out of here,” I breathe out, at last.
She lets out an appreciate giggle, climbing away from me. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I didn’t ask, you dumb hoe. “Uhuh. Can we head to your place? I’ll drive?” I ask, rolling my shoulders back as I stand up and stretch my body out.
“Sure. Just let me tell my girls real quick.” Grabbing hold of my hand, she begins leading me through the hustle and bustle of the party. She smiles and waves at a few people who greet her in recognition, and I roll my eyes when she stops and makes small talk with one of them. I don’t have time for all of this. I really don’t.
Glancing around the room in boredom, I briefly hear her introducing me to someone as my eyes land on something that causes me to do a double take. It’s almost like déjà vu minus the whole making out thing and that prick Alex. Instead, I find my girl, (okay so I know she’s not my girl anymore, fu.ck off,) pressed up against some steroid popping clown in conversation. My better judgment tells me to just turn away and leave it alone, but since when do I ever listen to what I should do anyways?
Besides, Chloe has a drink in her hand and she looks amazing. She’s wearing this short, tight black dress and I’d like to cut the dude’s eyeballs out for the way he’s checking her out in it. She’s not a big drinker and if he thinks he’s gonna get anywhere with her tonight and take advantage of her perfect, sexy body—well, he’s got another thing coming—because it’ll be over my dead fu.cking body that happens.
I almost forgot about the blonde I’d been planning to fu.ck until she lets out a small gasp, reminding me she’s still holding onto my hand as I hurriedly pull away in the opposite direction. “Whoa—what are we doing?” she laughs, nervously.
“I need to talk to someone real quickly,” I explain with mild annoyance underlying my tone of voice.
Chloe’s eyes widen in surprise before narrowing in anger as I approach her general area. I smirk at her once I’m finally standing before them, gently shoving the @#%$ I’ve dragged over here forwards a little bit. “Chloe? Amazing finding you here. Thought you hated parties—but then again—you do tend to hide things,” I state sarcastically. “This is Dawn, by the way.”
“Hollie.”
“What?”
“My name is Hollie.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”
“Great. Nice to meet you Hollie. And what do you want, Justin?” Chloe interjects, bitterly.
Ignoring her comment, I ask the muscle guy standing next to her, “Baseball season already buddy?”
Chloe frowns, stepping into the conversation again before he gets a chance to respond. “Why do you always have to be such a fu.cking jerk?”
I innocently hold my hands up. “Hey, don't be mad at me because your boyfriend shoots up and his di.ck has probably shrunk up so much that he pees on his balls now." I blink my eyes after I say that, thinking about just how stupid and immature and well—stupid that came out sounding. It sounded a lot better running through my head, I swear. Sh.it, I just might be getting my ass kicked in mere seconds for that one. I worriedly look over at the guy, relieved to find a blank expression on his face. He looks utterly confused at the moment. Thank God. He’s a moron.
"First off he's not my boyfriend…and even if he was...it wouldn't take much for him to be bigger than you,” Chloe tells me. I feel my face burn in anger, as she reaches out and touches Hollie’s arm. “You might want to get a magnifying glass to find his di.ck, mmkay sweetie? Just a word of advice, you know.”
Hollie noticeably gasps, steroid poster boy looking back and fourth between everybody. “Huh?” he asks.
I clench my fists in anger, staring Chloe down with a look of irritation. “Hahaha...hilarious,” I spit out. “You weren't saying that sh.it when you were riding this di.ck though.” I clench my teeth, trying to hold myself back from saying things I don’t necessarily mean. “Bi.tch.”
“Whatever.”
“I gotta admit you definitely picked a keeper, Chlo. Just too bad they don't make steroids for the brain. Because Muscle Man Randy Dumbass over here clearly has worked out every muscle but that one."
“Look at your date!” She responds defensively.
“You think I care about that sl.ut?!”
Hollie takes it upon herself to kick me in the shin with her heel at that very second, and I realize I’ve opened my mouth one too many times for tonight. I lean over in pain, rubbing at my leg as she storms off yelling out, “He is an @#%$!”
“Don’t I know it,” Chloe mutters, scowling at me. “I’m sorry about him,” she tells steroid guy, who in turn shrugs his shoulders.
Standing up straight again, I shake my head, wondering where the hell this all went wrong. Sometimes I just really let my anger get way too out of control. And now I’ve made a @#%$ fool of myself and worst of all—accomplished nothing with her. Defeated, I decide to suck up what little pride I have left and end this entire encounter. “You two have a great night.”
I turn around to leave, faintly hearing him ask her, “Wait a minute, did he say I was on steroids?”
* * *
{Chloe}
I run after Justin, slightly stumbling on my way a few times. The alcohol mixed with large crowds of people never did help any, but somehow I manage to make it outside where he’s walking towards his car. I don’t know why I should be the one to follow him, or why I even am, but for some reason I just can’t let him get away with what he just pulled in there.
He wants to act like he’s so much damn better than I am in all of this, like he hasn’t done equally as much @#%$ up @#%$ as I have to him. And I hate it. I really do. I’ve felt like @#%$ for the past few days, and for what? To watch him kiss another girl and then humiliate me in front of a whole bunch of strangers at some party? It pisses me off to no end, but at the same time, I can’t help but still love his @#%$ ass.
“Justin, wait!” I say.
He unlocks his door, turning back to look at me with a frown. “Look it's been a long night, I don't wanna fight anymore,” he tells me. “I know I was a jackass. You know I was jackass. But I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep.”
I look down at my hands nervously. “I didn’t come out here to fight either,” I softly state. I get the courage to look him in the eye, and sadly shrug my shoulders. “I just…I was trying to have a good time and forget about things for once, and then I saw you kissing that girl and I...” I stop short, shrugging my shoulders again. “I don’t know. I guess I just wish I could be like you.”
“Be like me?”
“Not care.”
Justin lets out a loud sigh, leaning his head against his truck and closing his eyes for a moment. “Look, I’m really tired and---”
“Justin, can’t you just talk to me?” I beg him. “God, Justin. We need to talk. I think we should discuss this like adults instead of just running—or fighting like children about it every time.”
He sighs once more. “See, this is exactly what I didn’t want,” he tells me in frustration.
I look at him in confusion, “What is exactly what you didn’t want?”
“This!” He says, gesturing wildly around himself. “Dammit, Chloe. You’re making me crazy. That’s what you women do; you drive men insane with your ‘adult discussions’ about your feelings! Why can’t you just be angry at me and leave it at that? Why do you always have to make me feel like @#%$ about all of this?”
“Justin, I—”
“You wanna know what I’m feeling right now? I’m feeling like carrying my ass to bed, but do you care? Nooo, because you just gotta discuss your damn feelings!” he lectures. “I mean, @#%$! Don’t you understand? It’s not that I don’t care---it’s that I don’t want to care anymore!”
I bite my lip, cursing myself for being such an emotional basket case. I promised myself I wasn’t gonna cry over him anymore, yet I’m standing here and I can already feel the waterworks starting up. I have that familiar tickle in my nose, the tightness in my throat, the heavy eyelids. It’s not fair. Things weren’t supposed to end up like this. And it’s not fair. A few tears slide down my cheeks, and I quickly reach up to wipe them away in embarrassment.
Justin runs a hand over his shaved head with another loud sigh once I start to cry. He looks down at the pavement, kicking a few rocks around, muttering a few choice words under his breath. Taking a deep breath, he says, “Stop crying.”
I nod my head, realizing he must be thinking how pathetic it is of me to crying like this right now. A small breeze suddenly hits me, and I feel a chill run throughout my body as I cross my arms against my chest to warm myself up. I sniffle a few times and shuffle my feet around, not knowing how to respond to him anymore.
“I’m sorry,” Justin says softly. He adds, “You know how I get cranky when I’m tired though.”
Wiping at my eyes one last time, I glance up at him with a slight smile on my face for the first time since we got out here. “You can be a lil’ @#%$ when you don’t get your sleep.”
He gives me a little smile in return, shrugging his shoulders. “Hey, hey---let’s not get back to the insults. I think we’ve already done enough of that for a week’s worth of Jerry Springer episodes.”
I giggle at him and for a moment we both just stand here in a calm silence. I look up at the stars, and hold myself a little tighter, as I quietly break the silence with something I just can’t stop myself from asking even if maybe I know it’s not something I should say, “So who was she?”
“Who was who?” Justin asks me.
“Don’t play.”
He licks his lips and says, “Nobody.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, for real.”
I look up at the stars again. “Good.”
“Yeah,” Justin whispers.
He follows my gaze and we just stand here staring up at the sky for what seems to be a bit of a few lingering moments.
“So who was he?” he finally asks, switching the question up.
I answer the same as him, “Nobody.”
The tiniest hint of a crooked smile touches his face at my answer. “Good,” he says. Finally, he tilts his head to the side, and announces, “I guess I’m gonna get going now.”
“Oh, okay.”
“So I guess I’ll see ya.”
“Yeah.”
He nods his goodbye and just as he’s about to get into his car, I find myself calling out to him before I can even stop myself from doing it, “Justin?” It’s just so hard to watch him walk away from me though. Especially when I don’t know when the next time I’ll get to see him again will be. I notice his heavy sigh, and quickly go onto add, “This isn’t an ‘adult discussion’ about feelings, don’t worry,” I say jokingly. “I-I just wanted to say…” I trail off.
“Say what?” He asks.
I love you. “I just wanted to say…just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”
Justin doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Is that what you want? For us to do the ‘let’s just be friends’ thing?”
“I guess,” I shrug.
“If that’s what you want,” he tells me, his voice barely above a whisper. “Night Chloe.”
“Goodnight Justin.”
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