1999: Christmas Relief

The rough patches I hit all during this year meant absolutely nothing now. It was Christmas, December 25, meaning five more days until I no longer had to dwell on the screw-ups of this year. I was the happiest, though, for the guys. Their lawsuit settled two days ago, and they won. They got to keep their name, move to a new label, and finally push forward the album they had been working extremely hard on.

I wasn't sure if the single was the one performed at the Radio Music Awards or a different one. Either way, I was more than excited for the guys. Despite my differences with Justin and JC, I want them to be successful in this business, because it's difficult and can get very ugly if you don't have the right people in your corner; as NSYNC and Backstreet Boys have proven. I don't even want to get started on this Lou, guy. If it was up to me, I'd roundhouse kick this guy for his
greed and deceiving ways.

For anyone wondering, JC is still with Bobbi. Yep. Still with the witch of the wicked west, east, north, and south. JC told me that he persuaded her not to press charges on me. In return, I told him that if she did press charges, she'd get a kick in the ass and a matching black eye to go with the one I gave her before. How dare she. Press charges on me? I have eyewitnesses that can prove she was in a drunken rage and put her hands on me first.

Being that it was Christmas, I wasn't really expecting the guys to be with me today since they were in Orlando, but I was excited to at least get a phone call. It was weird not having JC here with me and mom, I'd gotten so used to it. Now, he had his own place to celebrate holidays and such.

"Stay on the line while you open your presents, Zahra," Justin asked.

I agreed and pulled a box out from under the tree. I looked at who it was from, and I felt warm on the inside.

"Justin, you got me a present?" I asked.

"Geez, don't sound so surprised," he teased.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I just...I wasn't expecting anything since I haven't necessarily been a good girl this year," I replied.

"I haven't been a good boy, either, but I'm still getting the goods," he joked.

I laughed as I ripped the gift wrap off the box. It was a white box, taped at each side. I quickly slid my finger across to rip the tape. I took a deep breath and opened the box. It was a basketball jersey, but not just any basketball jersey. It was Carolina blue and white. Justin's personal nickname, Zee-licious, was lettered across the back and it was the number 31. 31? Hmm 31. Oh, aww. It was for the day he was born, January 31st. I damn near burst into tears. I loved it.

"31?"

"Yeah definitely, 31. Do you like it?" he asked.

"No, I love it. Thank you so much. You didn't have to get this for me and I really appreciate you doing so anyway," I responded as I passed
it to my mom for her to see.

"You're most welcome, Zee. I plan to see you wear it the next time I'm there to play some ball with you."

"Oh you will, no doubt," I smiled. I didn't notice before, but when did we get so many gifts under the tree?

"Hang tight on the line, JC wants to talk to you."

"Okay," I said as I grabbed the next gift. From JC. Alright, how did these even get under....Mom. It's always Mom. How does she do all these sneaky things without me noticing?

"Hey Zahra."

"Hola Josh," I greeted. I wasn't going to be upset with him or anything. It was Christmas, and right now, I was grateful to have him and all the guys in my life.

"Ready to open my gift?" he asked.

"Yes, I am. I won't even ask how you, Justin, and my mom worked to get these gifts under my tree. Not today at least," I teased, pulling the wrapping paper off the small box; it sort of resembled a jewelry box. My hands were shaking as I opened the box. Almost as if when I opened it, I was going to see an engagement ring. Yeah. I don't know. Don't
ask.

I marveled at the sight before me. Wow. JC had bought me a necklace resembling the Leo one he'd always wore around his neck. Except mine was Aquarius and it looked like JC spent a little bit more money on it. Why would he even risk his girlfriend seeing something like this around my neck? I felt so undeserving of the sweet, thoughtful presents I had received from my friends.

"Josh this is beautiful. I really appreciate this, I do. Thank you, I love it," I said.

"See Chris? I told you she'd love it and wouldn't call it cheap!" JC yelled. I chuckled silently. "I'm glad you love it, Zee. I don't think I'll ever find anything to apologize for the ups and downs this past year, but I hope this is a start."

"It is. It really is."

"Oh and before I forget, cheapies Joey, Lance, Chris also got you something. Their presents suck, though. Just remember that."

"Hey!" Chris yelled in the background.

I laughed. Chris, Joey, and Lance got me something, too? Man, I was really feeling the love today. I opened each individual box. Joey got me a new portable CD player, Lance gave me this really nice friendship bracelet, and Chris gave me pictures of himself.

"Chris, why the hell did you give me pictures of you?" I asked.

"Hey, hey, there are millions of women around the world who would kill for those pictures and I'm giving them to you. Be a little less selfish, Zahra, geez."

I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"No really, Zee. Trust me, those pictures are going to make sense. I promise."

"I believe you. Thanks, Chris."

"No problem. Turn on the tv, we'll be on it in an hour, we send our love to you and your mom."

"We send it back, bye!" I hung up the phone and wiped the tears from my eyes. I wasn't expecting gifts from the guys, and the fact that thought was put into each one, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotions. I had to get them all something. I had to. But what?

"Uh-oh, I see the look on your face. How far into debt is this about to put me in?" my mom teased.

"Ma. don't be silly, you'll only be $20,000 in debt. No big deal."

She threw a pillow at me and I laughed. What could I give them? Hmm. Well, for Joey, I could buy some Superman memorabilia. Chris, maybe some new in-line rollerblades? Lance..I don't know, maybe a new Reba album or something, not sure what he'd really like. JC and Justin, the killers. I've known them the longest, yet I have no sort of idea what I'd get them.

"Oh, before I forget. There's one more gift, but it's from both JC and Justin," my mom said as she stood up. "Let me go get it."

I nodded and turned my attention back to the presents I'd received. I wonder what they teamed up and got me. Hopefully it's nothing too expensive, I won't be able to ever pay them back.

"Zee-licious? I bet Justin made that up."

I knew that voice. I gasped and shot around.

"Celeste!!!" I screamed as I got up and ran over to my old friend.

"God! Only a year and you look even more beautiful than the last time. Those college boys must be eating out the palm of your hand," Cel complimented.

"Aw, thanks, Cel. You look quite radiant yourself Ms. Model," I said.

"Oh stop. By the way, how's Cal State Long Beach treating you?" she asked.

"It's treating me well, that commute in the morning is the killer, though," I replied. "Cel, what are you even doing here?"

I grabbed one of her bags and we walked upstairs. My brother wasn't coming home this Christmas, so his room was all hers.

"Courtesy of your two favorite people, they figured I would be the ultimate Christmas gift. Though judging by that jersey and the necklace you're wearing, they might have been way wrong," she explained.

"I'm glad you're here. We have so much to catch up on," I said.

Celeste plopped down on my bed, getting comfortable. She was such a beautiful woman now, not the young girl I knew back then. I wonder if she and Ryan ever kept in touch with one another.

"Indeed we do. What's the update on the you, Justin, and JC love triangle?" she asked.

"There isn't a love triangle. Justin's with Britney, Josh is with Bobbi, done deal," I replied.

"Justin's with Britney, this is true, but it doesn't mean he has no feelings for you, Zee. I know you still have them for him."

"I might, but it doesn't matter. I'm already in one predicament, I won't throw me and Justin into the same one."

"But you allow you and JC to go on, Zee," she said.

"I've tried to break it off, numerous times."

"Fair enough. Actually, what about you and JC? Anything changed?" she asked.

"There is no me and JC, Cel, he has a girlfriend."

"Total bull. Josh is with Bobbi, yeah, but he's completely in love with you."

"He says I'm not ready to love him back yet, but that's a lie. If JC loves me, why does he continue to stay with his girlfriend?" I said.

"He's scared, Zahra. He's very scared. I know JC's been in love before, but I don't think he's been in love like this."

It never crossed my mind that Josh was scared, I never even gave it a single thought. What would he be scared of, though? Me? The fact that I'm younger than he is? The fact that he's in love with me AND I'm younger?

"Doesn't he know I'm scared, too?" Asking more myself than Celeste.

"You're young, Zee. I think JC's more scared that you'll fall out of love with him before he gets a real chance to be with you," Cel
explained.

"Stringing me along isn't going to prolong my feelings, it'll only dissolve them quicker," I said.

"If that was the case, then you should've stopped the tango between you both a long time ago, Zahra. Why haven't you?"