2000: Florida....Day 3
The weather was hot, humid, and a bit mucky. I never realized how much I was a winter-loving lunatic until I was blasting the air conditioning in JC's apartment at around 50 degrees. We'd been in Florida for about three days now and I'm very proud to say that the handsy grabby stuff is at a complete halt, for both parties. After that first night on the
bus, the tension and awkwardness kept me away from JC and Justin away from me. In a matter that was tempting, of course.
Other than that, we carried on like we always did. I thought being in closed quarters with JC was going to be difficult, but like the total sweetheart Joshua Chasez is, he stuck by what he said that night on the bus. He hasn't made a single pass at me. Things have been nothing but friendly. I prefer things this way. I'm glad to have my best friends back. How long is it going to last though? I can't tell, but I won't hold my breath.
"Holy crap, it's cold in here. Zahra have you been playing with the thermostat again?" JC asked as he walked in the door. About six hours at the compound rehearsing, and he looked beyond beat. I was glad I didn't decide to go today.
"Who me? Nah, nah, wasn’t me, I swear," I joked.
JC threw a sofa pillow at me as he walked into his bedroom. Where I don't sleep, for those who have lost all faith in me. Ha.
"At least keep it at 65 so I don't catch pneumonia," JC called.
"Fine!"
As I stood to go change the temperature, JC walked out of his bedroom wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Why does he do this to me? What did I do to deserve such temptation, Lord? What did I do?! I looked away and tried to focus my eyes on something else. I was 16 all over again, except this time we didn’t accidentally bump into each other.
"Don't," I warned.
"What?" He asked looking around. "Oh. Grow up, you've seen me in a towel plenty of times," JC shot.
"Just go in the shower," I said as I kept my eyes on the thermostat.
"Or what? What are you gonna do to me if I don't?" JC had a hint of a dangerous tone in his voice. I wasn't sure if he was flirting or being sarcastic.
"JC." I felt his body heat behind me and I turned around to look at him. Was it truly hard for him to keep his distance from me? Did I end up being right? Was I finally irresistible to JC? For once, in ALL of this. I felt wanted and not the one who running behind someone else.
"What are you gonna do?" he asked again, this time whispering.
I placed both my hands on the wall, leaning against it. I looked down at my shoes. It felt weird to be the wanted.
"I'm gonna walk away," I smiled innocently.
"I really am trying, Zee. This is torture for me though," he smiled.
"I know, but thank you," I said as I walked into the kitchen.
JC laughed softly. "I love to play the cat and mouse game with you so much."
I leaned over the counter to look at him. "Why?"
He swiftly and intentionally opened his towel to adjust it. "Because you're the most worthy opponent I've ever had."
He winked and walked back to the bathroom. Did he just show me his...? Oh no, I'm not prepared for this. I went to stick my head in the freezer.
"I can do it, I can do it."
I found something to keep myself occupied while JC was in the shower. I had an urge for breakfast, yes breakfast at 2:30 in the afternoon, so I made pancakes. I figured JC would want something to eat before passing out and falling into a deep death. Waking him up was going to be....fun. I smiled mischievously as ideas ran through my mind.
"Mmm, something smells good," JC said as he approached the counter. He was sporting a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts with a wet hairdo. I felt my face get warm when I saw him. That was weird. I hadn't had that feeling in a long time. JC usually would have some sort of physical contact with me that would leave me hot and bothered. I guess deep down I missed what we were like before love was involved.
"I made pancakes, take a seat, they're still hot," I offered. I placed three flapjacks in his plate and topped it with a little butter, syrup,
and whipped cream. I poured some orange juice into a cup and placed it next to his plate with a fork.
JC was staring at me in complete awe. It was actually freaking me out a little. Did I have a booger in my nose or something?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.
"Will you marry me?" he asked.
I burst out laughing. "What?! Where does a question like that even come from?"
"You made pancakes and you topped mine with whipped cream, that's where. I thought you hated the idea of domestic women," he replied.
"I think the idea of women doing all the domestic duties is stupid, yes, doesn't mean I can’t cook or clean. Besides, I made this for me, I'm just being nice and sharing," I smiled.
"Thank you anyway, I appreciate it," he said, taking his first bite. “Oh my God these are so good."
I chuckled quietly.
"Sit down and eat with me, Zee. Come on, it's Spring Break and you should be relaxing."
I wasn't about to argue with him there. "Sure."
I fixed a plate for myself and sat down next to him at the counter. I grabbed the whipped cream and squirted some on my pancakes. To be silly, I shook up the can and sprayed some in my mouth. JC began to laugh as he looked at me, shaking his head.
"What is it?" I asked.
"You have..." He took his finger and wiped it across my mouth. "...whipped cream on your lip."
He placed it back in front of my lips. I took his finger in my mouth and licked off the residue slowly. It was like I set him on fire. I could feel every muscle in his body tense up as little by little, his finger left my mouth. If I'm not mistaken, I saw JC bite down on his bottom lip and it appeared he bit it hard to keep himself in line. I wasn't even trying to be sexy, I just wanted to make sure I got all that whipped cream.
I quickly turned back to my food. "Can you pass me the syrup?" I asked.
"Sure. You're not gonna pour it in your mouth, too, are you?" JC teased. He broke the awkward moment with a joke instead of acting on the impulses I could see he was desperate to act on. JC really was trying for me.
"Oh ha ha," I remarked sarcastically. "Are you gonna take me to the beach? I mean you as in you guys?" I corrected. Last thing I needed was the media making accusations from seeing us together. Not that they weren't technically true.
"We can do whatever your 19-year old heart desires. The beach would actually be super fun."
"Yeah, I haven't been to a Florida beach in so long I almost don't remember what it's like," I said.
"Yeah well, we'll see after my nap. This meal is going to knock me into next week," he smiled.
I giggled. "Thanks."
"Why don't you nap with me?" he asked.
"In your room? In your bed?" I asked.
"That's the general idea, Zee. Don't worry, I've been told I end up half off the bed anyway, so don't worry about me touching you," he joked.
"It's not that, it's just, you know." A test. We're friends first no matter what. If we can't even hang out without thinking about frisking each other, what kind of relationship would we even have? One based purely on lust, and nothing else.
“Sure."
"Positive?" he asked.
"Yeah, I am."
JC held out his hand and I took it. I began to follow him when I realized something.
"Hey, the dishes, I've got--"
"They're not going anywhere. I'll do them later," JC smiled.
As we walked into his room, I looked around and felt that feeling I did back at his home in LA. Comfort. I felt like I belonged. I saw an opportunity to be a complete guy, and I couldn't miss it. I looked at JC out the corner of my eye and I tackled him onto the bed.
"Zahra, what the hell?!" JC laughed.
I giggled, feeling JC's hold around my waist form. "I've always wanted to do that."
"Damn." JC stared at me and quickly looked away. I saw sadness wash over his face. "I miss us having fun like this so much."
I softly rubbed my hand on his cheek. "I've always been here, Josh. Always. But lately, it's been a lot between us and I don't want that. We're close, and even though sometimes we butt heads, I want us to still have that friendship. If we have sex, I want us to be able to talk about it comfortably, and not with guilt," I explained.
"I guess I've been getting so carried away, I forgot how much I miss the small things," JC sighed.
He released me from his hold and I snuck under his covers. I signaled for him to join me and he did so. He turned on his side and I slid my arm across his waist, closing the gap between us. Oh my god. We were spooning. If I had enough eyes to roll, they'd be doing it right now.
"You would really wanna make love to me?" JC asked. My stomach knotted. Make love. I know I used the term in the heat of the moment before, but he was using it very casually right now.
"If it's what we both wanted, yes," I replied quietly.
"Would I be your first?" he asked. I could hear the cautiousness in his voice.
I smirked. "If you're assuming that Montez and I did the dirty, then you're wrong."
"Don't even remotely speak that visual into my mind," JC snipped.
I pulled his shoulder and he rolled over on his back. I laid on his stomach, looking at him. I chuckled.
"Mm. Oh what is that I taste in the air. Is that jealousy?" I asked.
JC scoffed. "Jealous? Why would I need to be that? You're here with me, not with him."
I kept trying to hold his gaze, and he continued to keep his eyes moving. He was SO jealous.
"You are!" I grinned.
"I'm not jealous of some teenager," JC quipped.
"Montez is 21," I said. JC rolled his eyes. I giggled.
"Why would you even be jealous? I can't understand it."
"Because I don't want to picture you and another guy, let alone losing you to him."
"I'd be more preoccupied with losing you to another woman," I said.
"What?"
I sat up, moving my head from his stomach, then laying my head on his chest, gently rubbing his chest with my hands. His hand rested on my back, his arm looped around shoulder.
"That feeling you get when you can't reach me and you assume I'm with Montez, doing all sorts of things. I've had that feeling for a very long time. And I don't know when it'll stop. I feel like it never will."
JC held me tighter, burying his face into my hair. I could feel my eyes get heavy as I closed them. I just wanted to enjoy being with him. I didn't want to touch my emotions with a ten foot pole right now.
"I love you," JC whispered.
2000: Florida....Day 5
I sat on the couch, placed against the wall, watching the guys go over steps to "Digital Get Down". Already, I could see this performance would be my favorite. There's this part where they guys all go down to the floor and do some work. When I say I was ready to tackle JC and Justin, it is not a game. Cold shower, indeed. Watching them together working so hard, almost made me emotional. To see how far all of them have come, it was finally paying off.
What was most special about them as a group was, they played around and had fun, but when it was time to work, that's exactly what they did. They worked. The intensity in the room was so high. They were focused on what they needed to do, and there was little time for laziness. That quality, that work ethic, is what was going to take them to the top and beyond.
As I continued to watch them go over the routine for the billionth time, I noticed that there was a step Chris kept missing and it caused him to be late in transition to the next move. It's like he would get to the step before it, miss the next step, and then try to play catch up for the next one. And being off by even half a beat, was upsetting him. Was anyone else not noticing, or were they too focused on getting through everything to bother with it? I don't know, maybe I should just leave it alone. It would be wrong to impose, wouldn't it? Know what? If I get chewed out, so be it. I have to say something. I don't like seeing the frustration on Chris' face.
"Chris you keep missing a step," I said quietly.
It was like the entire room got blown out the door. The room was silent and everybody's eyes were on me. I've been in this room for three hours watching them go over the same choreography. I was bound to learn it myself, right? Shit. I should've just shut my big mouth. Now, I'm about to get it.
"Show me," Chris said, breaking the silence.
Huh? Did he ask me to show him? "What?"
"Show me, come on."
I slowly stood up and walked over to where Chris was standing. The others went back to facing the mirror now, but I knew all eyes were on me. Justin and JC's especially. I took my position and figured I'd begin right before the step Chris was missing.
"You keep doing this." I demonstrated what he had been doing. "You're supposed to do this." I showed him the missed step and added the transition where he was late. "That way, you're not late on that last step."
I looked up and saw everyone looking at the choreographer for validation. He smiled and nodded his head in agreement. I caught JC from the corner of my eye, hiding his impressed smile.
"You've been sitting down the whole time and you picked it up that fast? You wanna be in the group?" Joey teased.
I chuckled. "Joey, shut up."
"Show me again?" Chris asked.
I nodded and showed him the step with the transition. After we went over it a few times, Chris felt he was confident enough to remember the step.
"Thanks," Chris said as he pat me on the shoulder
"You're welcome," I smiled. I went back to my designated seat on the couch, feeling embarrassed. I really felt like it wasn't my place to say anything, but I felt happy that Chris wasn't frustrated anymore. Win-win?
----------
Once the guys got a break, everyone headed upstairs to go play video games and chill out. Besides JC that is. There were lots of activities to do get their hands on in the compound. Bowling, arcade games, jet-ski's. Instead, JC came over to the couch and dropped himself across my lap.
"Eww, Josh! You're all sweaty!" I exclaimed.
"I know, share the must girl, share the must," he teased.
"For a second I almost forgot how disgusting you are," I laughed.
"Yeah, right. You wish I was disgusting. I'm five seconds away from taking a shower right here in the middle of the floor," he teased.
"I would not put it past you," I laughed.
"Hey, that was pretty cool, what you did for Chris," JC said.
"Really, you think so? I feel really bad, like I shouldn't have said anything."
"There's nothing wrong with being observant, Zee. It's not like you were arrogant or rude about it. I think Chris appreciated it."
"I hope so, because I liked helping him out."
"You're sweet, you know that?" JC said as he reached for my face, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.
I smiled looking down at him. He looked beat up, he was exhausted. I ran my fingers through his damp hair. I almost wanted to despise how I longed to just take care of him sometimes. But that was the bottom line; I wanted to do those things because I care about him. And more than he could ever imagine.
"Come on, let's go get you more water. You look like you're about to pass out," I said.
"I'd rather just stay down here and kick it with you," JC said as I got up and began to walk across the floor. "But, you're right, I need more water. Carry me!"
I heard his feet pound against the wood finished floor and then I felt him jump on my back. Now of course, I'm 5 foot nothing with no sort of superhuman leg strength, since they're not that long, and no surprise to me, my knees buckled. I tried to steady him, but his skinny butt was actually a heavy skinny butt. Long story short, we hit the floor. I mean, we HIT the floor. Tragically, too. Smack!
"JC!" I yelled. "What the hell?!"
JC was rolling around on the floor giggling like crazy. He's back to being an unintentional jerk! He rolled over to where I was and propped up on his elbow looking down at me. I was flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Finally, I glanced over at JC. He was such a striking person to look at. His facial structure was so defined. The eyes, never failed, I always melted in their presence. Everything about him was so perfect. JC started to cautiously lean in closer to me...
"What the he-- oh!"
I leaned my head all the way back and looked up to see Joey. Fudge pop! It's cool, be cool Zahra. It looked like JC was about to kiss me, I know that and it all just looked bad. BUT it wasn't. Nothing happened, I can just shrug it off and play it cool.
"You're psycho bandmate thought it was a good idea to jump on my back," I said. JC got up and grabbed my hands to pull me up off the floor as well.
"I take offense to that, it was a good idea," JC argued.
Joey shook his head in shame. "JC, when are your ideas ever good ones?"
"Don't hate the playa, now," JC said. "I'm gonna get water, I can taste the dehydration on my tongue."
When JC was upstairs and out of sight, I could feel that Joey's eyes were bolted into the back of my head. Of all the things Joey COULD have caught me and JC doing, the one time we're practically innocent, we STILL look guilty. I could read his mind, through and through right now.
"Fatone, nothing happened."
"I didn't say anything did," he said.
"I don't even have to look at you right now to know that you think something happened," I told him.
"I believe you Zahra. It's just I didn't know you and C had something."
"We're not anything," I finished.
"Zahra, I'm not naive. Any fool could've walked in here and felt the tension between you two. How long has it been going on?" he asked.
"Dude, there's noth—" I turned around and saw the look he was giving me. Yeah, Fatone wasn't buying it. Welp, might as well give him the low down. He caught us anyway. "We kissed when I was 16, but that's it."
"16? Jesus. You mean you two have been going on behind Bobbi's back? Zee, you're staying in his condo."
"And nothing has happened. I haven't let anything happen."
"That's because things have been happening already for the longest. What could you guys possibly be thinking?"
"I've tried to break it off and have failed miserably every time."
"Then when was the last time something really happened between you guys?" he asked.
"It was sometime last year," I replied.
"Do you know how serious he is about you?" Joey asked.
"He mentioned the word love," I replied.
"And what about you? How do you feel about him?"
"Oh come on, break was only 10 minutes this time!" I heard Chris complain as he was walking down the stairs.
"It doesn't matter," I said quietly, going back to sit down in my area.
I'm in love with JC, but it didn't matter. He wasn't mine to be in love with.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I finally hit my first 50 reviews on here and I'm ever so appreciative. You guys have no idea how much it means to me that some of you take the time to read what I've written and then take more time to write something in response to it. I, for one, am glad that I'm so consistent. Prior to this site, it was hard to finish anything I had written. And being here has made me want to follow through, and complete any story I've started. It's also made me want to continue to become a better writer. So once again, thanks for the reviews, I love reading them...lol.
Story Tags: friendsturnedlovers mmcera firsttime tourj nsasync tour jealous triangles roommates hotel otherwoman debutsync presync tourjc jc justin friendswithbenefits cheaterjc
