2001: Things get harder before they get easier
I woke up, wrapped in Justin's arms. He looked so cute sleeping, I didn't want to wake him. I easily slipped out of his grip, and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Sure enough, though, that woke him up. He smiled, like always, I melted.
"Morning," I greeted.
"Morning. Coming to the studio?" he asked.
"I have a choice, now?" I smiled.
"No, I'm still gonna make you go."
"Speaking of the studio. Why do you want me to go so badly, anyway?" I
asked.
"I was told to make sure you came by JC. It was important to him. I don't know why and I didn't ask. I was just trying to stay on his good side."
What? JC was the one who wanted me at the studio? Oh! To hear the song because he finished it. I get it, now. Whether he wrote the song for me or not, was to be determined.
"I guess I'm going, then. I'm gonna go shower. I'll pour you some Cocoa Puffs," I offered.
Justin got up to put on a shirt and basketball shorts. "That sounds heavenly."
I shook my head and left the room to head upstairs. I poured Justin some cereal, then went up to my room. Once I took that much needed shower, I had a chance to put things into perspective. I had a clear head, and it made me see my situation from an unbiased standpoint. I met Justin back in the kitchen where he was all ready and waiting to head out.
"Ready to go?" Justin asked.
"Yeah."
The ride to the studio was silent. It was hard to tell what was going through Justin's mind. Technically, he cheated on his girlfriend. I can assume that Justin isn't batting an eyelash about it, since he's positive he lost Britney to Wade already. Even in our situation, Justin never held back his feelings for me. Things seemed pretty cool with him, when it came to me and JC. The only thing he told me was, I'd have choose who I wanted to make things simple. It wasn't anything I didn't know.
Or.
Justin could've taken the time to get over the fact that he and I would never be together. Maybe, Justin had the gut feeling that JC was better for me. In that instance, I think Justin would be right.
Soon, the car pulled into the studio lot and was parked. We waited before getting out. He knew I needed to talk to him before we stepped into that studio. I had to start being honest and it had to start with Justin. I was scared of him being upset with me and hating me. He was the greatest friend to me and I didn't want to lose him because of my own selfishness.
"Justin,” I began. Those blue eyes looked over at me, already knowing what I was about to say.
"Don't. I know. Deep down I always knew, but I didn't want it to be true. After last night, though, the truth was clear. JC's the better match. It's crazy what lust can do to people, it can be amazing. I think that between us, the lust overpowers the love. You and I share a deeper lust than romantic love. With JC, you both just genuinely have an equal balance of both."
"What makes you think I even love him that much?" I asked as I lowered my head, nervously playing with my fingers.
"You ever think about why you kept letting yourself be available to JC?" Justin asked me. I shook my head no. I figured it was because I was just young and blinded by stupidity. "You wanted the sweetest revenge."
I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't the slightest idea what the hell Justin was talking about. Revenge? Revenge for what? If it was for Bobbi, then hell yeah. I still can't get over that stunt she pulled last year, at the arena rehearsal.
"What revenge?" I asked.
"Back in our younger days, JC never gave you the time of day, and you knew that he wouldn't for years to come. Probably never. You can't deny that it didn't put you over the edge. Especially when he started dating Nikki, who was only two years older than you were. The first time you realized you could have JC in your palm, you began using it against him. Whether you were conscious of it or not, you loved that he couldn't keep himself away from you. Only, instead of making him fall for you, you ended up falling for him, too."
I let Justin's words simmer inside my brain, thinking back to all those times I'd made it clear to JC how I felt, only for him to ignore it or say I wasn't old enough. He had any and all types of power over me. Then to suddenly have that power in my hand with things reversed? It was sweet, no doubt, the best. But the sweeter it was the faster it became my own poison. I didn't think of JC the way I used to.
"I think the only reason he hasn't left Bobbi yet is because he's scared you'll hurt him for not being sure about what's going on inside you. Why would he leave someone who he's already gotten past the hurt with, only to go to someone who could fill him with new pain? Someone who he never knew he could feel something so strongly for."
"I would never intentionally try to hurt JC."
"I know you won't. If you'd go through years of this back and forth, there's not a doubt in my mind about you not being able of sticking by JC's side. Now get your ass outta this Jeep and go assure him of that so this thing can end," Justin smiled.
I hugged Justin. I was upset about him coming to his own self-realization about us. I never once thought Justin couldn't have been a guy I'd be with. Why didn't we share love like we did lust? I shook the question, ad I got out of the jeep, and shut the door. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I walked into that building feeling more confident than I'd ever felt in my life. This was it. I had made up my mind about who I wanted to take a swing at in this relationship thing. JC was the one. We needed to talk and sort out some issues, but I knew once we put all of the truth into the open, it would be well worth it.
I opened the door to the studio and walked in. Lance and Chris spun around in their chairs and smiled at me. I thought back to when I assumed Lance was Chris and Chris was Lance and snickered. I never told them about it. I returned their sweet gesture, looking around the room for JC. Where was he? As I went to turn and head back out the door, Joey came inside. I greeted him politely before continuing out the door, into the hallway. I smiled when I saw JC. My smile quickly disappeared once I saw that he wasn't alone. He was talking to this long and dark-haired beauty, who was leaned up against the wall. The way he was looking at her and then looked at me once he noticed I was there? My confidence dissolved in an instant. My heart just shattered.
"Zahra, hey," JC said.
The dark-haired beauty walked over to me, and stuck her hand out in front of her. "Hi, I'm Emmanuelle."
"When a man's scared, the possibilities of what he can do to feel safe again, are endless. Keep that in mind."
Author's Chapter Notes:
HUGE thanks to all of you guys who took the time to loyally read and review my story. It means more to me than you'll ever know. You guys have no idea how much fun I had writing this. From beginning to end, I enjoyed myself. I catch myself reading it, and being shocked....as if I don't know what's gonna happen, smh, lol. But still thank you for accepting me here as a writer and I hope I can continue to evolve to become great like so many of you authors on here truly are. Thanks again. :]
Completed
Nerdily Ingenious is the author of 10 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 13 members. Members who liked Justin, JC, The Basement, & Me also liked 438 other stories.
This story is part of the series, JT, JC, and Me.. The next story in the series is Siberia.
This story is a favorite of 13 members. Members who liked Justin, JC, The Basement, & Me also liked 438 other stories.
This story is part of the series, JT, JC, and Me.. The next story in the series is Siberia.
Story Tags: friendsturnedlovers mmcera firsttime tourj nsasync tour jealous triangles roommates hotel otherwoman debutsync presync tourjc jc justin friendswithbenefits cheaterjc
