"Oh god, shut up!" Justin groans, rolling over and throwing his pillow over his head, trying to block out the god awful sounds of the birds singing loudly outside his window.
His iPod had long since died over night, one headphone still lodged in his ear as the other one was wrapped up in the mess of blankets and limbs. The bright sun slipped in through the blinds, heating his skin as he fought to stay asleep. But it was too late, his mind was already beginning to race, starting to organize and prioritize his day. He flips onto his back, ripping the remaining headphone from his ear and tossing the small gadget to the floor. He rubs his face with his large hand roughly and glances over toward the mahogany nightstand that holds his personal affects. He's weary to even look at his phone, knowing that he'll have to sift through and answer a million and a half 'happy bday' texts and emails and bbms. But he grabs his phone anyway and begins the arduous task, only answering the ones from his closet friends and family.
Once his phone is clear, he tosses it back to its place on the nightstand and throws his heavy legs over the side of his bed, reaching his hands into the air to stretch the tight muscles throughout his toned body. The unmistakable scent of his mothers eggs wafted into his bedroom at the exact moment, comforting his... uneasiness, but it always takes him a few days to truly relax when he's home. He stands to his feet and shuffles around his room, shrugging on his favorite sweatpants and t-shirt before jogging down the stairs of his childhood home and into the kitchen.
He plants a kiss on his mothers' fair cheek before plopping down at one of the bar stools, grabbing the paper and waiting for his full plate and glass of juice, "Good morning mama.' He sings melodically, while never taking his eyes off of the Tennessee Journal in front of him.
"Well, good morning to you. You're in an unusually good mood this morning," She replies, setting a steaming plate in front of him before moving toward the refrigerator for his favorite juice.
Justin shrugs, "Jesse and Trace drank enough for the three of us last night."
"Oh lord, that Jesse needs to slow down, ya'll aren't as young as you used to be. Here's your juice honey." Lynn coos, setting the full glass in front of him before turning back to sink.
Justin begins to dig in, letting out a deep sigh of pure elation as the flavor explodes in his mouth, "Where's dad?" he asks a few minutes later, finally deciding to actually take a breath.
"Golfing, of course. I'm surprised you didn't go with him yourself, if not just to check in at Mirimichi."
Justin shrugs, shoving another fork full into his mouth, "I told him Trace and I’d go with him a little later in week. Plus, I gotta meeting Jeff and Tom on Wednesday anyway about the sprinkler system they wanna install. Oh hey, you'll never guess who I ran into last night mama."
"Who was that dear?" Lynn asks absentmindedly while rinsing off and cleaning up some of the dishes.
Justin takes a swig of his orange juice, gulping down the orange liquid before licking his deliciously pink lips, "Everleigh. She was at the bar last night." He watches his mother tense slightly at the mention of her name and turns his head slightly to the side, "What was that?" He asks a little perplexed as to why she reacted in such a way.
Lynn turns to her son and plasters a smile on her face, "What was what honey? You saw Everleigh huh? How is she these days?"
Justin squints back at her, sucking his teeth at her strange behavior, "What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing," Lynn says, swatting at him, "Answer my question, how is she?"
"She still hates my freakin' guts. She told me to fuck off. Why did tense up just now?"
It was now Lynn's turn to shrug, "I don't know, I just... haven't seen her in a while and well, I know it’s been strained between you two for ages."
"It’s not strained between us; she's the one that can't stand the sight of me. I've tried to apologize to her stubborn ass but she won't listen." He explains, picking at his fried potatoes and scrambled eggs, "She looked good though."
Lynn giggles softly, returning to her cleaning duties, "Just give her time Justin, she'll come around eventually."
Justin drops his fork against his plate and scoffs loudly, "Give her time? For fucks sake, it's been fifteen years, that's not enough time ma?"
"Language," She scolds, "You know a woman's wrath can last an eternity. She'll stop being mad when she feels like you understand, which you clearly don't."
"Ma..." Justin rubs his forehead, shutting his eyes as his head begins to pound, "Let’s not talk about this anymore, okay? What are you doing today?"
She shrugs, gesturing toward his plate and whisking it away when he nods that he's finished, "Just gonna run some errands in town. You wanna come with me? I gotta stop by the grocery store first."
"Yeah, sure. Lemme shower first, I’ll be back down in a few mama." Justin says, pushing away from the kitchen counter and rounding the corner to take the stairs.
Give her some time? Hasn't he given her enough fucking time? Fifteen years seems like e-goddamn-nough, he thought to himself, closing his bedroom door behind him and beginning to disrobe. And she's the one that's being impossible; she can't get away from him fast enough when she sees him.
Promise we'll always be friends Jay.
Her words from all those years ago replay through his head as he steps into the warm stream of clear liquid. Justin closes his eyes and lets the water rush over him, wishing like hell he could take back their misdeeds. He missed her. He missed her when he was fifteen, living in Florida and spending every waking hour rehearsing with the other guys. He missed her when he was twenty one, sitting alone in a strange hotel room, counting down the minutes until Justified hit the shelves. He missed her now, as he stood in the shower, regretting every time he didn't call her when he went away as a kid. He led her to believe that she didn't matter to him.
That couldn't have been further from the truth; back then and now and until the day he shuts his eyes for the last time. If only he could get her to believe that.
%^%
June 1994
"Just stand still Everleigh, it won't hurt." Trace scolds, holding her wrist tightly to keep her fighting.
"Fuck you it won't hurt! Get the hell off of me Juan!" She screams, trying her hardest to pull away from him.
Jesse stood behind her, holding her waist while laughing hysterically at her terror, "Justin, help me with her man, this bitch is crazy."
"I am not a bitch Jesse! I don't want to do this anymore, let me go!" Everleigh screams again, her body beginning to shake involuntarily from fear.
Justin stands at the window, turning back to his three friends quickly before returning his gaze out the window, watching for his mother's car, "Guys, she changed her mind, let her go." He says, releasing a breath and walking over to his them.
"What? She's just being a pussy, just stand still and it'll take one second Ever!"
"Trace, come on." Justin says again, "She's scared man, just stop."
The three struggle for a second more but Jesse and Trace release her, scoffing at her as she bolts from the room. Once in the safety of the bathroom, Everleigh slams the door behind her, sliding down the wall and to the floor as the tears fall down her face.
A few seconds later, a few soft raps sound through the small bathroom, "Ever, I'm coming in okay?"
She does move as Justin slides inside, shutting the door behind him softly and joining her on the floor. She hides her face, hating the fact that she's broken down in front of the three of them the way she had. Justin watches her quietly, reaching out a few seconds later to rub her bare knee through her ripped jeans, "You okay?" Everleigh nods and sniffles loudly, burying her head into the crook of her arm.
"Quit fucking crying you baby!" Trace screams loudly from outside, breaking the soft environment that Justin was trying to create.
"Trace! Shut the fuck up, go home!" Justin yells back, slamming his foot into the door to get his point across to his friend.
He rolls his eyes and shakes his head as Trace and Jesse heckle her while stomping down the stairs. Justin only speaks when he hears his front door shut loudly, "They're gone now, okay? Stop crying Evie."
"I hate them so much! They are such assholes sometimes." She finally muffles, wiping harshly at her eyes with her sleeves.
"You hate needles Everleigh; I don't even know why you wanted Trace to piece your ears in the first place."
"That's not the point!" She says loudly, uncovering her face, "When I said stop, they should have stopped."
Justin throws his hand into the air, conceding to her, "You're right, they should have stopped." He says, watching her again as she tries to shield her broken face from him again, "I wouldn't let them hurt you Evie."
And just like that, a wide smile spread across her face, "God, I hate crying in front of you." She whispers, still wiping at her large brown eyes as her mascara spread to her plad shirt.
"Why?" He asks quietly, his hand still connected with her knee.
She shrugs, resting her head against the flower wallpapered wall, "I don't know, just do." She whispers.
The young Justin cocks his head to the side, squinting his eyes a little as he leans into her. She eyes his cautiously as he raises his hand to her face, running his thumb slowly across her cheek, causing her eyes to shut softly at his touch. She smiles involuntarily again, loving every second as his fingers lingered on her soft skin.
%^%
"Justin! Come on honey, let’s go!"
Justin eyes shoot open as he his mother's voice rips through his sweet memory. He clears his throat and shakes his head, "Okay, I'll be right down!"
Just give her time Justin, she'll come around eventually, "Right." He scoffs, shaking the thoughts from his head and stepping out into the cool air.
Just give her time.
A few hours later, and what seems like after they've visited every store located in Millington, Justin leans against his mother's SUV, sucking slowly on a strawberry lollipop. His icy eyes glance up and down street as his fellow southerners pass by him, some of them doing a double take as they realize who they're passing. He pulls his baby blue North Carolina cap down lower over legendary eyes and sighs lowly, bringing his Cartier watch up to his face to take note of the time.
His mothers' laugh lingers through the unusually warm air toward him, causing another sigh to escape his lips. He drums his fingers on his thighs, switching the lollipop from one side of his mouth to the other, growing more and more impatient as the seconds tick by. He's just about to break up his mother's impromptu gossip session with Mrs. Lange when a familiar female steps into his line of vision.
"Everleigh!" He hears himself nearly scream as he pushes off from the white Tahoe and heads toward her, turning his head quickly to back and forth to scan the traffic.
She stops for a second, not immediately recognizing his voice but once she catches his gaze, she turns quickly and continues on her walk brisk walk down the street. Justin smirks a little as he jogs up beside her, "What are the odds we'd run into each other two days in a row?"
She scoffs, not looking over at him, "Are you following me now or something? Jesus."
Justin laughs again, "Are you crazy? You don't seriously think I'm following you do you?"
"I never know with your stupid ass."
The two continue walking side by side, Justin, unsure of what to say and Everleigh, praying to god he'll lose interest and turn right the hell around, "I miss you Evie." He says out of nowhere, glancing over at her out of the corner of his eye.
She slows her pace just a little but keeps her dark brown eyes straight ahead, "Evie, I haven't heard that in so long." She says, letting out a long breath.
"I was always the only person to call you Evie."
"Yeah, I guess you were."
"You don't miss me though? Not even a little bit?"
She sighs, telling herself to stay strong in front of him, "I never said that."
"But every time you see me you cuss me the fuck out! I mean, for real? You honestly can't stand me that much?"
"Justin, I really don't have time for this right now, okay?" She replies, starting to feel her blood pressure rise.
"Ever..."
And there it was, the sad voice. Even after all this time, he still knows exactly how to get under her skin, "You should be glad I've been talking to you this fucking long."
Justin smiles inwardly, glancing down at her hand noticing her shopping bag, "Whatcha got in there?" He asks, pulling the bag open slightly with his index finder to peak in at the contents, "Oh shit, who are the Jordan's for?"
"Get the hell outta my damn bag! Goddamn, thirty years old and still nosey as hell."
"Who are the Jordan’s for, for real? You seein' somebody?" He asks, squinting his eyes a little, not sure why a wave of jealousy washed through him in that second.
"And how is that any of your damn business?"
"I have a right to know."
This statement makes her stop dead in her tracks, "Since when? We've barely spoken to each other in fifteen years."
"Uh, rephrase that. You've barely spoken to me in the past fifteen years. I've apologized a million and a half times to you over the years."
She scoffs, "And that's suppose to make me just forget about everything you've done? I'm just supposed to be okay with everything?"
"That's not what I said Everleigh, calm down." He says, not wanting to blow what little progress he had just made.
"No, you know what? Stay the fuck away from me, you got it? I don't know why you're having so much difficulty understanding why I don't want to talk to you, but you better get a fucking grip on it dude. I am not one of your fucking Hollywood sluts that'll just cave to your every fucking whim."
Justin stood speechless, a defeated and quizzical look on his face, "Everleigh, come on. I'm sorry."
She cut her eyes toward him, rearranging her purse on her shoulder harshly, "I don't believe you." She says curtly, searching his icy blues, "You don't care about anybody but yourself, you made that painfully clear."
And with those last words, she turns on her heel and continues toward her car, throwing her bag into the passenger seat before slinking into the black Audi and taking off quickly. And just as he had the night before, Justin stands and watches as she disappears from sight, only turning around once she's been out of sight for a few seconds. He walks slowly back toward his mothers' Tahoe, lowering his cap even lower on his head to where he could barely see his own feet.
"Where'd you run off to?" Lynn asks once her son is in earshot, resting her hand on her hip as he walks past her, "Justin?"
She watches as he shrugs and throws open the car door, slamming his body into the seat before shutting the door forcefully. Lynn climbs in, tossing her purse in the backseat before turning back toward her now brooding son, "What is wrong?" She asks softly, rubbing his arm softly.
"Nothing mama, I just wanna go home okay?"
"Alright." She sighs, choosing to say no more as she turns the key and brings the SUV to life.
She opens her mouth but quickly shuts it again, not wanting to put him in an even worse mood. She had seen Justin and Everleigh's exchange just moments earlier and even though she couldn't hear what was said, she could tell by Everleigh's quick getaway that it didn't go well. She didn't want to pry, she had promised that she wouldn't but she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to lie to him.
You see, Everleigh isn't the only one keeping secrets.
