When I was a boy I didn't care 'bout a thing
It was me and this world and a broken dream
I was blaming myself for all that was going wrong

I was way out there on the wrong side of town
And the ones that I loved I started pushing 'em out
Then I realized that it was all my fault


Raina sighs as the car pulls into the Hilton parking lot. It’s currently 3:14 am and she is exhausted from the previous nights events. After her mom went out on a killing mission, she returned empty handed at that point Raina and Justin had already left. She wasn’t sure if running away was the best idea, but she definitely didn’t want to talk to her mom all night.

“Rai,” Justin says softly as he unbuckles his seat belt. “We’re here.”

He thought she was sleeping, that’s how exhausted she was. Getting all her belongings together and into Justin’s car in less than an hour was the most tiring thing. After packing everything up, Justin and her travelled 2 hours to a city where nobody would find them.

Justin gets out of the car and starts grabbing her luggage and she follows close behind. They grab all four bags and make their way across the dark parking lot. When they make it into the hotel, it smells of cleaning supplies and chlorine. Raina can hardly keep her eyes open as Justin checks in to their room. They make their way to the room and quietly get ready for bed.

Raina slips under the covers of the tightly made bed and shivers as the cold sheets hit her exposed arms and legs. The smell of chlorine is even in the pillows and she softly moans as she rolls on her side and cuddles into the pillow, willing herself to go to sleep.

“You good?” Justin asks as he walks from the bathroom and sees her already in bed. “You want me to sleep on the couch?”

Raina shakes her head and rolls over to look at him. He’s standing on her side of the bed and even though the light is low, she can tell he is just as tired as she is. She lifts the blankets slightly and Justin crawls over her. “You couldn’t walk around?” she asks as his knee hits her side.

“No, because I wanted to do this,” he says as he grabs her waist and rolls her on top of him. He kisses her lips and smiles when she rests her head on his chest.

“Let’s just sleep.” Raina mumbles as she closes her eyes and wraps her arms around his middle.

Justin kisses her hair as he smoothes his hands down her back and pulls her closer. “I love you, baby.”

Raina cringes slightly when she hears “baby”. He doesn’t usually use pet names or anything like that, so having him say it now caught her off guard. She pretends not to hear him and continues to lay their with her eyes shut. She feels him begin to relax and soon he is asleep and she is still awake.

She opens her eyes and looks across the room at the window. She never thought she would be in a situation like this. She can feel Justin start to shift so that her back is against his front. His arms never leave her waist. His lips touch the back of her neck and he lightly kisses her. Chills run up her spine when he lightly blows on the area he kissed.

“Go to sleep,” she hears him whisper in her ear. She finally relaxes enough to fall asleep.

I've been looking for a lifeline
For what seems like a lifetime
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

So I put out my hand and I asked for some help
We tore down the walls I built around myself
I was struck by the light and I fell to the ground


: : : : : : : : : :

Two days later

Justin squeezes Raina’s hand as the doors slide open. The smell of the building overwhelms her and if Justin wasn’t hold her hand, she would have turned and walked out. They walk into the waiting area and sit down.

“I’ll be out here, ok?” Justin says quietly, so the other patients won’t hear.

“You aren’t coming with?” Raina asks as fear enters her eyes. “Please come back with me.” she says as Justin smiles and runs his hand over his head.

“Are you sure?”

She nods and kisses his cheek, “I’m scared,” she mumbles as they get up and walk to the desk.

“Me too.” He grabs her hand again.

Is there anybody out there?
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

You know a heart of gold won't take you all the way
And in a world so cold it's hard to keep the faith
I'm never gonna fade away, yeah


The lady behind the desk looks up and smiles when she sees the couple. “Hello, how may I help you?”

“My name is Raina Brandt and I have an appointment with Dr. Shwartz.”

“Oh, yes, 4:00 p.m.. Is your insurance the same?” The older lady asks looking up at Raina.

“Yes.”

“Ok, I’ll check you in and you can have a seat.” The lady says as she points towards the group of chairs near a hallway. “The doctor will be right out.”

“Thanks,” both Justin and Raina say as the return to the seats.

The sit in silence until the doctor comes out and takes them back to their room. “It’s nice to meet you both, I’m Dr. Shwartz, the brunette woman says as she shakes both their hands. “How have you been feeling? Anything you’re worried about?”

Raina turns to glance at Justin and then looks back at the doctor. “Well, I’ve been throwing up and I gained a couple pounds.”

Dr. Shwartz smiles, “You think you’re pregnant. Yeah, we can run some tests and get that checked out. Anything else?”

Raina shakes her head no.

“Ok, can you just change into this gown and then we will start the exam.”

Raina grabs the gown and walks behind the curtain to change. She can hear Justin laughing when she walks out. “Stop it,” she says with a smirk as she hits his shoulder.

“Sorry,” he says, but the smile is still plastered on his face. “So fashionable.”

“Yeah,” the doctor chimes in “these are the ugliest gowns I’ve ever seen and believe me, I’ve seen a lot of them. Ok, Raina, you can have a seat up there.” she points to the bed chair thing. “I'm just going to check your heart, ears, throat, and then we will weigh you.”

“Ok,” Raina mumbles as the doctor starts on the check up. There is a silence while the doctor listens to Raina’s heart. She looks over at Justin and he makes a funny face, which makes her laugh.

“You two married?” Dr. Shwartz asks as she sees their interaction.

Raina smiles and shakes her head, “No, just friends. He’s here for support.”

Justin nods in agreement, but doesn’t smile. He looks down at his hands while the doctor continues to check Raina. Raina watches Justin as he continues to pick at his hands and he doesn’t ever look up at her and smile or really do anything.

She sighs when she gets up and walks towards the scale.

“128,” Dr. Shwartz says and then looks down at her chart. “You’ve gained a few pounds since the last visit.”

“Yeah, and I gained 5 pounds since two weeks ago. That’s why I think something’s up.” Raina explains as she sits down next to Justin. “Can I change out of this?” She says as she picks at her gown.

“Yeah,” the doctor nods. Raina quickly changes into her clothes.
“The urine sample that you are about to get done will determine if you are pregnant or not. You could of course take an at home pregnancy test while you wait for our results. They should take about a week.” She smiles at the two and stands up. “Other than that, you look perfectly healthy. Thanks for coming in and have a great day.”

“Thanks doctor,” Raina says as she stands and walks towards the door. Justin follows, but leaves some space between them. “Well, lets go get this done with.” she says as she stops and waits for Justin to catch up with her. “What’s wrong?” she asks when he doesn’t smile or respond to her comment.

Justin just shakes his head and continues walking down the hall.

“Justin, what’s wrong? Did I saw something?” She asks as she runs up to him. She reaches out for his hand, but he shrugs her off and continues walking. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

He stops once they make it to an area in the hall that’s empty. He turns to face her and actually sees just how tired and exhausted she looks. The bags under her eyes are the worst and she isn’t smiling. Her eyes have lost their sparkle and she’s dressed in clothes two sizes too big. “Come here.” He mumbles as he puts his arm out to wrap around her shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” she asks again, looking up at him.

“I’m just worried about you.” he says as he leans down to kiss her forehead. “You look so tired, you really need to get more rest. After this test, we’re going home so you can sleep.” He pushes the elevator button and the doors open. They walk in and Raina grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers.

“What’s really wrong?” Her voice is so soft that he almost misses the question. “Is this about when the doctor asked if we were together?”

Justin doesn’t say anything he just looks over at her and then back at the doors.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to tell everybody we’re together. I don’t understand the big deal, we haven’t even talked about this yet.” she says as she walks out of the elevator.

“Rai, wait.” Justin says as he jogs to catch up with her. He places a hand on her shoulder and turns her to look at him. “Can we just agree that we’re together? We’re dating.” he says as he pushes hair from her face.

Raina nods and the tears she’d been holding in fall down. “I blame the hormones.” she mumbles into his chest.

“You can’t blame them just yet.” He says with a chuckle. “I love you, baby.” he says as he leans down to kiss her. “I really do.” He mumbles against her lips.

He pulls away and she smiles up at him, “I love you too.” she says as she grabs his hand again. “Let’s go pee in a cup!” she laughs as he scrunches up his face.

I've been looking for a lifeline
For what seems like a lifetime
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline