When *NSYNC first became popular in the USA, with the help of a certain Disney concert, I had originally been a Lance girl. There was just something about the southern gentleman with the deep voice and background moves. He didn’t have the solos or the best dance steps, yet he charmed my heart. I felt like he was the under dog and I had always had a soft spot for under dogs.

One could very well consider JC an under dog as well, which is probably one reason I quickly had a change in my allegiance.(Which was probably better in the long run with Lance eventually coming out of the closet.) I found myself eyeing JC more and swooning over his solos, which were a plenty, as well as feeling an attraction to him that was undeniable. There was just something special about JC from early on and all the way though the entirety of *NSYNC’s career. Even to this day there was something so special about him that I hadn’t lost the strong feelings I felt toward him. I was a fan through and through and my dedication never wavered. I was also an admirer who appreciated his physical and internal beauty. He became even more appealing when the group went on their separate ways for solo projects and he found his niche in the industry. He matured into an amazing man with incredible songwriting and producing skills. His musicianship was brilliant and he still remained passionate as ever about his craft. Though I was sad about all the albums that never were and all the concerts that were never performed. I was disappointed that he never got all the credit that was due to him and to this day still wished he could’ve had a career like his band mate, Justin Timberlake. I was outraged that Jive didn’t see the talent they had in JC and screwed him over. I was still pissed about the Pro Bowl cancellation and everything else that went wrong for JC. It was beyond me why someone as extraordinary as him, got jerked around so bad and didn’t receive everything he should’ve deserved and more.

Having become his friend in the past few years, I was still plagued by the horrible past and bad luck he’d had. I still wanted everything and more for him. I still hoped for his future to be bright and for him to truly be happy. I cared about him like he was family, loved him even more than some of my own family. I wanted him to have everything he desired and for everything to fall into place for him. I knew he enjoyed his life right now and that ABDC, along with his writing gigs, kept him busy and excited. Yet, I also knew he needed love and deserved it, even more so, with time passing by and his youth slowly fading away. He played the part of the bachelor so well and never talked seriously about marriage and kids. He was well on his way to being like George Clooney and never settling down for anyone. Always the bachelor with a pretty lady on his arm, taking romantic trips all over the world. I knew he had it in his heart though to love someone forever, but he’d also been hurt badly. His love life had been one crazy roller coaster and the biggest drop had been a painful break-up from an actress that had really bruised his ego and shattered his heart. He more than deserved for the pieces to be picked up and for a woman to love him for him. He wasn’t just a has-been popstar in my eyes and he wasn’t just JC Chasez. He really was just a normal guy, when it all came down to it, minus the nice perks he’d had in life. He breathed the same air as everyone else and felt emotions just like everyone else. He slept and ate like everyone else and he still paid bills too. There were moments where he truly was just Josh Chasez and he didn’t have the glitz and glam surrounding him. He didn’t have paparazzi all up in his business and to me, those moments were the best. I feared that someone would come into his life and only want to love JC, not Josh. I feared that some fake bitch would pretend to love him and care about him for all the wrong reasons and take him for granted. I knew JC was a smart guy and a good judge of character, but it still didn’t keep me from worrying less or ease the fears I had. So…seeing him in new pictures with a new brunette I’d never seen before was very hard to handle. It was excruciating for me to look at the different poses and analyze their expressions, but I had to. It was the only way I could try to find any peace and come to terms with the possibility that lingered. He could possibly be dating her, if not already in love and committed to her.

The pictures had been taken around Runyon Canyon, which wasn’t too far from JC’s place, and the two of them had certainly been dressed for a hike. I was pretty sure Nathaniel hit the nail on the head when he called it a romantic hike. He was dressed in a black, long-sleeved shirt with black track pants, while she was dressed in a white jacket with a blue shirt under it, as well as black yoga pants. They seemed awfully comfortable with one another and she appeared to have no problem kissing him in public. I knew that JC wasn’t big on affection in public, but he also didn’t appear to mind the camera that caught them together. In many of the photos they were embracing each other and looking very much like a couple. I had hugged JC many times, but the way he was embracing her was just…different. There was chemistry there and an attraction that I saw from both of them. I knew he was definitely attracted to her, seeing as she was his usual type with the brown hair, brown eyes, and tight, little body. It was actually tough to take in, knowing how much my heart, body, and soul wanted JC. I felt the stupid teenage girl in me rear her ugly head and my eyes dampen with sadness and jealousy. I didn’t want to feel this way. I didn’t want to love him, knowing that I probably wouldn’t ever get to be Mrs. Chasez. In fact, I always knew I wasn’t going to be the lucky girl, but I always hung on to the potential ‘what if’. Right now I was certain that I had to let all those childish dreams go away and that I had to grow up. The fan in me had to let him be happy with whomever he chose to love and the friend in me had to let him because I loved him that much. All I really wanted, more than anything, was for him to be happy. If he was meant to be happy with some chick that bared a resemblance to his high-profile ex and appeared to be a fitness freak, then that’s the way the cards were dealt.

I shook my head and wiped my eyes, having allowed tears to fall down my cheeks. I didn’t want to cry and knew I had to put my big girl pants on, but it was hard. I wasn’t satisfied with ‘just friends’, yet it wasn’t up to me. Love was a two way street and if I wasn’t the one JC wanted, nor the one that he was meant to love, then I had to go down another street and find the one who was meant for me.

Yet, how could anyone compare to JC? That was a question that I had asked myself after my break up with Trevor and I still didn’t have an answer. I mean, really? Who had blue eyes as clear as the ocean, that sparkled just as bright and beautiful? Who had a laugh as infectious and distinctive as his? Who else had a mega-watt smile that could warm your heart like hot cocoa on a chilly, winter’s night? Who else had that facial structure with a strong jaw and masculine cheek bones that the Greek gods would call perfection? Where else could you find such a powerful voice that was smooth as velvet and as soulful as the jazz in New Orleans? I honestly didn’t know where another total package existed. There was also his dark hair, that had varied in so many styles though out the years, yet still made me want to run my fingers through it. Not to mention the five o’ clock shadow he sported half the time. He looked so delicious when he hadn’t shaved for a few days and I had dreamt of feeling the roughness of the scruff upon my cheek in an intimate caress. Yet, I was still waiting on that moment. That moment that was most likely not coming.

Then there was his heart and his personality. He was so giving and so loving. He cared about his family immensely and had even professed that he’d jump in front of a bus for any of them. His parents were his saviors and he thanked his lucky stars each day for them, as well as for his sister and brother. He was so close to his family and he was equally close to many of his friends. He’d do whatever he could to lend a helping hand or put someone in a good mood. He was also the go-to guy for advice and a funny joke. He could be hilarious as hell and brighten even the saddest person’s mood. He always saw the positive in every situation and wanted everyone to see the positives as well. He made critiques and suggestions to better people, as well as to help the crews he judged on television. He just genuinely cared. It was in his blood to be a class-act kind of guy and to be selfless. He never asked for anything, yet was always willing to give. He’d made many anonymous donations to charities through out the years, never wanting the attention from it. He did everything with the best of intentions and with nothing, but passion in his heart. He was also loyal to a fault and willing to do whatever he had to for everyone and everything he loved. He just had a list of attributes that could go on and on and reasons why he was so unique, special, amazing, etc. Yet, at the end of the day…he was simply Josh and I loved him for who he was and all that he was.

So even with my heart aching in agony and feeling like it was breaking into pieces, I had to tell myself that it was okay. That as much as I wanted to puke and as much as I wanted to push the mystery brunette out of the way and put my hands all over JC and make out with him, that I couldn’t. What had been done was done and I didn’t want to be sick over this. I didn’t want to shed another tear over this. It was silly and I needed to close that chapter in my life. The chapter where I thought JC and I would fall madly in love and live happily ever after. It wasn’t going to be written in the story of my life and I had to face the music.

Someone else had to be out there for me. Maybe they wouldn’t be as handsome as JC in my eyes or maybe they’d lack his signature smile. Maybe they wouldn’t have a wicked sense of humor or even a sexy swagger about them, but they’d have something…something that would hold my heart and keep it happy.

I sighed and took one last look of the pictures, noticing the one where he had his hand on the brunette’s ass. It was a gesture any girl would crave from a man she was in a relationship with and seeing him do it to a girl other than me was tough, but I understood. I knew he appreciated a fine ass on a girl and that he’d touch whatever he pleased. If she was what he wanted, then so be it. It wasn’t like I had any say in it. I just wanted him happy and for her to treat him exactly as he deserved to be treated; with love and respect.

I finally, closed out of the album of pictures, forcing myself to do it, and then turned my laptop off. My alarm clock rang a moment later and I realized today was going to be just a lovely day, sarcastically speaking. 

I hadn’t slept a wink and had been up all night over the discovery of JC’s mystery girl and their affections. My eyes were puffy from tears that had been shed, as well as lack of sleep. I was still in the same clothes I had been wearing for my date with Matt and I was beginning to yawn profusely. I was going to need a million servings of caffeine and a quick shower to really give me a buzz. Work was calling for me and I had to be there in an hour. I felt totally stupid now for letting myself become a zombie over a man, even if it was JC.



When I stepped into Divine Threads an hour later, I had a large cup of coffee in hand and I had foundation on to cover up the dark circles that had accumulated under my eyes. I tried to cover up the yawn that escaped my lips as I walked by Lucy and another stylist. They would probably both assume I was on crack or badger me with questions if I let them notice just how fatigued I was. Luckily, I managed to make it into my office with no one hounding me with questions or expressing concern. I opened up my email, as usual, and checked for any important messages. Finding none, I checked over my schedule and saw that I’d be able to fit in an hour nap between two clients, which sadly, excited me.

I just wanted to make it through the day and focus on the positives. I had a career, a new project ahead of me with ABDC, and a blossoming romance. I guess that’s what you could call it between Matthew and I. Maybe…jut maybe…he could compare somewhat to JC?

I shook my head, trying to rid of anymore romantic thoughts and heard the phone on my desk ring then. I picked it up and heard Lucy’s voice on the other line.

“Everly? Hey…are you okay? You looked like you were ready to pass out when you arrived.” I sighed, not wanting to get into it and just glad that Lucy was asking me over the phone and not making a big scene.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Luce. I just had a rough time sleeping last night, but no worries. I’ll be sure to sleep tonight.”

“Well…okay. You know if you need to chat, I’m here.” I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me.

“Thanks and I appreciate that, but really…I’m good.”

“Okay.” She simply said and then I heard the line go dead. I hung my phone up as well, hoping that it had satisfied Lucy.

I reached for a color palette that was sitting out on my desk then and as I began to envision combinations in my head, my phone on my desk rang once again. This time it was Nathaniel.

“Hey, sugar pie. I just came in and Lucy told me you look like shit.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be insulted.

“Uhh…yeah, I guess I might look like shit. I just didn’t sleep at all last night.” I confessed to my friend, knowing he’d understand.

“Analyzed the photos of JC and mystery chick all night, did you?” He sighed. “I know they were a lot to take in, but you have Matthew now. I mean, I’d do either of them, but if you can’t have a Chasez platter, enjoy a Morrison meal.”

I laughed for the first time, since seeing the unfortunate photos, and it actually felt good. Leave it to Nathaniel to bring humor, where humor was needed.

“That is a good point, Nathaniel. I’ll keep that in mind.” I grinned into the phone. “And I promise I’m not going to dwell on this whole thing with JC. He’s got to do what he’s got to do and I’ve got to respect that. He’s my friend, first and foremost.”

“Good. ‘Cause remember…JC wants you happy too. He did set you up with Matthew, didn’t he? I mean why else would the man do that, if he didn’t want you and Matthew to find love?” It was another good point on his behalf.

“True..that’s true. I know his heart is in the right place.” I sipped some of my coffee down.

“And your heart is in the right place too, Everly. I really think you can move on now from your past and find the love you’ve always dreamed of. Matthew is definitely a step in the right direction.”

“He is…he is. I mean so far things have been great between us. I think I might just be ready to let fate take the course it’s meant to take.” I sipped more coffee, feeling the caffeine kicking in.

“That’s good. I’m proud of you, Everly. I guess my main question is do you think you’ll still be able to handle working on ABDC?” I sighed then, realizing that just because I couldn’t have JC romantically, didn’t mean our friendship ended. Plus, we’d be bumping into each other on the set of his show. I mean…I’d be approving his outfits.

I thought about it for a second and then firmly responded. “Yes.”

“Just checking.” I heard a chuckle escape Nathaniel’s lips.

“I know, but the answer is yes. ABDC is going to help me out tremendously and I shouldn’t let anything get in the way. I can and will still have a great time working with JC. He’s my friend…always, no matter what.”

“Alright, alright…you don’t have to preach to me anymore. I just wanted to check up on you and it sounds like you’re going to be okay.”

I smiled then at Nathaniel’s words. He was right. I was going to be okay. I had gone through a lot, yet I had so much to look forward to. I could handle anything and I’d come out okay.


After ending my call with Nathaniel and dressing some clients, I found my opportunity to take a little nap. I cleared some stuff of my desk and made room to rest my head. I settled my arms onto my desk and then lay my head upon them. I closed my eyes and then waited for sleep to take me away. I didn’t even bother to set an alarm or close my office door or anything. I knew if I slept over the allotted time I had, someone would just wake me up.

What I didn’t expect was for that someone to be Matt.

I had been sound asleep, when I heard someone bang hard on my desk and yell out my name. My body shook hard and bolted upward, as my eyes opened in surprise. I looked long and hard, taking in the man before me and felt my heart racing then.

“Matt? What are you doing here?” He laughed.

“I came to surprise you, but looks like you were having fun sleeping on the job.” I yawned softly and wiped my eyes, knowing makeup came off.

“Excuse me for being tired.” He gave me a concerned look.

“Did you not sleep well?” I shook my head.

“I’m sorry. Well you probably would’ve slept better had you let me stay last night. I could’ve held you all through the night.” I was surprised by his remark, but smiled.

“Yeah, well, sleepovers aren’t a second date thing.” He chuckled.

“But they do happen before or after molestation?” I shrugged.

“I’m not sure…I’ll have to get back to you on that one.” He chuckled once more.

“I’ll be waiting. So, you think you might be able to grab dinner with me tomorrow night?” I mentally went through my schedule.

“Our third date, huh? Hmm….yeah, I think I can fit you in for dinner tomorrow night.” He smiled.

“Good. I look forward to it, Miss Monroe. By the way, you look beautiful.” I laughed then.

“What?” He asked me, giving me an odd expression.

“I look like shit, don’t I? Be real.” He shook his head.

“No, you look beautiful. You might be tired, have makeup under your eyes, and some hair out of place, but you’re still beautiful. I love a girl who can pull off normal and be herself.”

I couldn’t help, but to blush at his words. I wondered if he was that smooth all the time and how genuine his words were, but…I knew he was a good guy. I wasn’t going to ruin the moment and question him.

He stepped over to me then and pulled my chair, which was a nice cushioned chair with wheels, and backed me away from my desk. Then he fit in the space between me and my desk and leaned in, grabbing my face. He forced me to bring my face to his and he planted a kiss to my lips.

“Mmm…”He moaned upon my lips. “Coffee.”

I couldn’t help, but to giggle. “I drank a lot of it.”

He kissed me again. “I like it.”

I moved my lips against his and tasted the combination of my coffee and the fresh mint, that apparently came from his toothpaste or mouthwash.

“Mmm…” I moaned in return upon his lips. I wasn’t expecting a kissing session in my office, but it was welcomed.

He deepened the kiss then and held on to my cheeks tighter, sliding his tongue along my bottom lip. I could tell that he wanted to slide his tongue past my lips and into my mouth, so we could have a delicious mingle of our tongues. I wasn’t about to protest either, except my phone rang and this time it was my cell phone. For a split second I thought about not answering it, as Matthew played with my lips, but I breathlessly pulled away from him. He was breathless as well and I noticed some of the lipstick I’d hastily put on this morning had stained his lips.

“Sorry, never know who’s calling me and if it’s an emergency.” I said softly, reaching into my purse that was on the floor and fishing my cell phone out.

“It’s okay.” He said, wiping his lips then.

I didn’t even bother to check my caller id and just flipped my phone open.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, Ev. Sorry, if I’m interrupting. I misplaced your work number.” It was JC and I just took a deep breath.

“It’s alright…what’s up?” I waited for him to continue.

“There’s a photo shoot happening for the judges and Randy tomorrow. They just scheduled it out of nowhere and Randy was hoping you could style it. If you can’t, he’ll understand, but he just thought it would be good practice for the real deal.”

“You mean they booked the photographer already?” I asked, knowing that usually photo shoots worked around a photographers availability.

“Yeah, and it can’t be rebooked. So you going to style it or what?” I looked at the calendar on my desk and saw that I was off tomorrow. I ‘d forgotten I’d taken it as a random day off to use a vacation day.

“Yeah, yeah, I can. I’ll be able to do it.” I answered, nervous how it was going to turn out. Though I was looking forward to putting my expertise to good use.

“Awesome. I’m actually going to call Randy right now and let him know and then he’ll probably call you back later with all the information.”

“Alright. Sounds good, JC. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you, Ev. Bring your ‘A’ game.”

“You know I will. You’ll all be looking good.” I heard him laugh then.

“Whatever you say. Bye.” I heard JC hang up then and I flipped my phone shut. I looked up at Matthew then and he smiled.

“Now where were we?” I grinned at his question, letting him resume the kissing. Life had its way of surprising you and right now I was being pleasantly surprised.