Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.

JC tried hard to remain neutral and nonchalant about Phee’s news but if he was being honest with himself, his heart sank at the thought her leaving. In all the time that he’d been out on the street, homeless with no one to turn to, she’d been the only person to be selfless and generous, bold and daring with him. She had unknowingly solved problems and opened doors and used her charm and wit to win not only him, but everyone over.

He wasn’t ready to let her go. He didn’t have much of a choice.

His own life seemed to be coming together, at least to everyone else’s standards. He had a place to stay and food to eat and clothes to wear. He was working and had a good job offer doing work he never thought he would be doing but he really liked, especially when he could be alone in peace and quiet, with only the sounds of the foam paint roller to keep him company.

The week rolled by slowly and quietly. Phee and JC made their plans for Thursday- she would pick up her check as normal and instead of going to the library, they would stay downtown and go to Jefferson Construction’s corporate office and sign his employment paperwork. He had everything in order and he was ready to go. Phee was ready, too. Her Columbia paperwork was all signed and filled out and both Tuesday and Wednesday, her mother had dropped her off at home instead of letting her take the bus. It was like she couldn’t let Phee out of her sight, lest she change her mind.

Phee was quiet, again. JC was sure she felt trapped by her decision, but he didn’t see another way out to a better life, for her. She had to go. Even if he didn’t want her to.

After the stop at the hotel and the credit union, they got back on the Number 34 and headed to the other end of town. They got off the bus a block away from the two-story red brick building with the Jefferson Construction logo on a billboard above it.

The front doors were dark glass, designed to shield the reception desk from the glare of the sun. From the outside, they made the building look ominous and foreboding. A twinge crawled through his chest and gripped his heart, the closer they came.

Do I really, really want to do this? This is not a big deal, right? If I don’t like it, I can quit. Right?

Before they reached the door, Phee stopped walking. They’d been holding hands, so when she stopped, JC stopped too.

“What? You’re not going in with me?”

“I’ll go in. Just… answer me something, first.”

“Okay. What?”

“Is this what you really want? To sign on to Jefferson full time and be… here… for the foreseeable future?”

JC shrugged. He couldn’t make himself say yes. He didn’t feel like no was an option for an answer.

“I’m asking because I don’t think you want this. And it’s fine if you don’t.”

“I just…” He sighed, running a palm over his hair while turning a complete circle. “We are all the way here and you choose now to go all Moment of Truth on me?”

“Sorry. But you haven’t signed anything yet. So it’s not too late.”

“So… what? I should just stay a day laborer, working week by week, hoping some job will catapult me back to where I used to be?”

“Is that what you want? Your old stressful job and your old car and your old girlfriend? Your old life? Is that the Holy Grail for you?”

“Something tells me I should say no to that. And you’re going to tell me why I should say no.”

Phee took a deep breath and stepped to him, gripping the arms of his coat. “Look at me. Tell me the truth. Do you think I’m selling out, to go to Columbia?”

JC laughed and made an attempt to move away. “I am the last person that should have an opinion on that, Phee.”

“I know. Humor me. Do you?”

“Not really. Do you?”

She nodded. “I feel dirty and… and purchased and like I’m using my parent’s money to run away. I know I need to go and I want to go, but I don’t want to go like that. And I don’t want to go alone.”

He was starting to catch her drift. She wanted him to go to New York with her—something he was sure that Susan and Philip Gredvig would not approve.

“Phee, you know I can’t.”

“Because of the job?”

“Don’t act dumb. It’s not just the job. You know why I can’t.”

“I know I can do anything I set my mind to. And so can you, if you let yourself believe that you can.”

“I have… no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You know those old black and white movies with the cheesy dialog? One guy does something and another guy stands up and yells you’ll never work in this town again! That sort of applies to you, don’t you think? You’ll never live down what happened, JC. Never, ever. You’ll never be able to pay people back for the money they lost. The sooner you realize and accept that, the sooner you can forgive yourself and move on. The sooner you’ll stop punishing yourself by living just above the poverty line.”

She stepped closer, sure that she had his attention. “What if you could get away and start over?”

“How… how would I do that?”

“I know you’re not big on dreams and plans,” she started, with a smile. “But what if, between the two of us, we had one dream? Could you handle half a dream? Half a plan? Could you manage to think past tomorrow and the next day of nothing towards maybe… something?”

“Maybe,” he answered. “Tell me more about this half a dream.”

“Okay. I’ve been thinking. Getting into Columbia was half the battle. If I don’t take the money from my parents—“

“Phee, I don’t think you should turn down—“

“No, no. Listen, I’m going. I’m going. But I want to do it my way. I’ve been talking to an Admissions Counselor the last couple of days. There are scholarships and grants and work-study and financial aid. There’s student housing and lots of places in the area where a person could work. So, I’ll put off Columbia for a semester—“

“Phee—“

“Listen to me! You take this job and you work every hour they give you. Even overtime. I’ll work overtime, too. We’ll put away every penny we can for the next six months. We’ll buy a car, a little beater that runs well enough to get us up to New York and get around. After six months working your ass off for Jefferson, maybe they’ll refer you to another construction job up there… or you could do something else. Anything else. Anything you want, because you won’t have your old life hanging over your shoulder. You can be the real you. The real JC.”

“Why would you do it this way just so I can come with you, when it would be easier to take the money and the car from your parents?”

“Because…” She squirmed and played with the zipper on his coat, looked around him and past him and at anything but him. He grabbed her chin and tilted her head up so he could see her eyes and she could see his.

“Because?”

“Because… I refuse to lose another man I love to this place. You know what I keep saying—people leave here and they don’t come back. If I leave, I’m not coming back. So I’m not leaving without you.”

The only word JC caught was love. He was stuck on it, swinging from it like a tetherball. Two years with Rachel and she’d never said she loved him. Two months with Phee and she was asking him to run away with her.

“No more baskets. I can’t stand the baskets anymore.”

She laughed, the tension from her face slipping away. She looked relieved. “No studio apartments, either. Unless they’re cheap. I’m a sucker for cheap.”

“You and me, both. We’ll talk about it. Negotiate.”

“Does this mean yes? You want to share a dream with me?”

He grinned, hung an arm around her shoulder and guided her toward the glass doors. He had paperwork to fill out. She had an application to send off. And there was pizza and goofing off and then later, some mattress rocking.

Six months and counting until a new beginning for them both.

“Half a dream. You know how I feel about dreams and plans.”