The past week had been a blur. One big messy blur. Leah didn't know how to deal with her Nana's death, so she chose not to deal with it at all. She went on about her life, doing what she had to do. Meetings with her label, studio sessions with producers, and interviews on Donny and Marie, and Good Morning America. To the outside world, she seemed like the same old Leah, but to those who knew her, she was in fact a completely different person. Deep down, her grandmother's death hurt Leah more than anything. She was hurt beyond words, but she didn't know how to cope with the loss, so she blocked it out, almost like it didn't happen.
Kevin, Leah's manager kept a close eye on her though. Kevin Anderson, who has been Leah's manager for eight and half years, knew her better than anyone, even JC, and he didn't want her to go back down the path of self destruction. He knew that the best way Leah dealt with life when things got tough, was to not deal with it at all, and instead take it out on her body. He didn't know what would be worse; Her binging and purging to cope with her grandmother's death, or her not eating at all. Kevin knew to pay close attention to her eating patterns. He didn't want a repeat of the summer of '97. That was the summer that Leah's career had taken off, the summer that things had gotten worse between her and her mother. In one horrendous fight over the phone, Gabrielle had actually told her daughter that she hated her, and told her that Leah was the worst mistake she had ever made. Leah took it so hard, that she completely shut down, not talking to anyone for the rest of the day. There was that and the fact that the label kept putting pressure on their rising star to lose weight. There was even a copy of the National Enquirer with a picture of Leah on the cover, the headline read, Leah James: The Disney Starlet Refuses to Lose Baby Weight. When Leah saw the cover of the tabloid, she snapped. It was bad enough that the average sized girl had already restricted herself via orders from the label, but then she started to not eat at all. She would skip meals, and rehearse choreography and workout for hours. Then after days of fasting, she would just binge on all of this food, and then purge. At first Leah was secretive about it, but soon when people caught on to what she was doing, she didn't care who knew, as long as anyone didn't try to stop her. It was sickening, but no one in her camp would step up and offer her help. They had become enablers.
In time, Kevin watched Leah's weight drop from 130 pounds, to 125 pounds, to 115 pounds. She was alreday short, so the fact that she kept losing weight was not healthy at all. The more weight she lost, the more the tabloids praised her. Soon her phone was ringing busy with offers from Gucci, Armani, Chanel, and Vercase to be the face of their product. That's when she felt special. All of these famous designers begging her to be the model for their clothes! Everyone knew that only the ridiculously skinny, gorgeous models and celebrities were chosen to be in the high fashion ads, so this made Leah feel worthy of someone's attention. That's when the binging and purging, starving herself, and over exercising stopped. She appeared to be happy again, and things had started to go back to normal.
Then came the phone call from Leah's father, informing her that Nana had been diagnosed with Alzheimers. Leah was absolutely devasted. Especially being so far away from home. That only triggered her unhealthy eating patterens all over again. It got so bad, that Leah was too weak to dance, and the purging had begun to ruin her beautiful five octave voice. When Leah's weight had hit an all time low, 89 pounds, Kevin couldn't take it anymore. He would be a sick individual if he sat there and did nothing to help her. It was like he was watching someone die a slow and miserable death right in front of him. He loved Leah, she was like a daughter to him and his wife, and his two young daughters looked up to her like an older sister. He refused to let anymore time go by without Leah getting the help that she needed. Kevin checked Leah into a treatment center for eating disorders in Colorado. She wouldn't go without putting up a fight, but he got her there. He checked her in himself, so that she wouldn't be able to check herself out. She was registered under an alias so the media wouldn't know that she was in treatment. Kevin wanted her to get well, without the burden of the media, who would only interrupt her healing process.
Fast forward to a few months later, Leah's happy, healthy and back on track, and more successful than ever. In a only a few years, Leah's managed to sell millions of albums, and win multiple awards. But now, her grandmother's death has been the absolute worst thing that's ever happened to her, and Kevin is afraid that she might relapse.
"Are you gonna get that?" Kevin asked walking into the room where Leah was getting her hair and makeup done. Leah picked up her cell phone from the vanity table, and read the caller ID. When she saw that it was JC, she pressed ingnore. She couldn't face him. Not yet. She was still embarrassed about what happened that night, when she got back from the funeral. She was afraid of what JC might say to her. He probably thought that she was some kind of slut or nymphomaniac. She hated the fact that she had messed things up between them, because she needed him now more than ever. Now, she had no where to turn.
"Nope." Leah replied, closing her eyes shut so that her makeup artist, Trish, could apply some eyeshadow on her lids.
"You can't just ignore him forever." Lucky stated, who was sitting behind Leah in the dressing room, on the couch. "Whatever it is that's going on between you two, you have to let it go. Whatever it is, is probably not as bad as you're making it out to be." Lucky continued. She had flown all the way across the country to be with her bestfriend, who she knew needed her, and was her subsititue stylist for the day, since Flo, her usual stylist was out sick.
"When did my life become such an open book?" Leah snapped, cutting her eyes to Lucky. Lucky didn't respond, not wanting to cause a fight. Sure Leah was being a bit bitchy, but Lucky knew she didn't mean it. She had all of these emotions bottled up inside of her that she hadn't dealt with yet. That and the fact that she had to perform so soon after her grandmother's death had really put Leah on edge. Everyone was walking on eggshells around her.
Leah just wanted for the world to leave her alone. She didn't want to have to work. She just wanted to crawl up in bed and be sad and left alone. She couldn't do that however, because she had too many people depending on her. Kevin, the record label, her band, her back up singers, her choreographer, her dancers, and her whole entire entourage were dependent on her. If she didn't make money, then they didn't make money, and they had lifestyles to support and families to feed, so she had to keep going.
"Okay moving on..." Lucky said, switching subjects. Once Leah was done in hair and makeup, Lucky walked over to the clothes rack and picked out a silk black and red striped halter top, and black leather pants. "How about these?" Lucky suggested, holding up the ensemble.
"Yeah sure, that looks great." Leah replied, getting up from her chair, and walking over to Lucky. Kevin, and the hair and makeup artists left, leaving only Leah and Lucky in the room. Taking off her white T-Shirt, Leah replaced it with the silk halter. "The top looks great." Leah commented studying herself in the full legnth mirror. Lucky handed Leah the black leather pants, and she removed her jeans and slid on the pants. Leah noticed how her thighs seemed to feel a bit tight in them. When she pulled them all the way up, she tried to to zippen the pants, but the zipper wouldn't budge. Panic started to sink in, and all Leah could think was that she was gaining weight again. She had been doing so much emotional eating lately, she must have gained at least ten pounds. "Oh my God!" Leah exclaimed.
"What?!" Lucky asked, turning away from the clothes rack to see what all the commotion was about.
"I'm huge!" Leah cried. Oh no! Lucky thought to herself. This isn't good. She noticed her friend studying herself in the mirror, staring at all of her imaginary flaws. With all of the crazy things going on in Leah's life the last thing she needed was to relapse.
"No, no, no, no! Calm down!" Lucky instructed her friend. "Take slow deep breaths." Leah did as she was told. "Turn away from the mirror now, and look at me." Leah turned away from the mirror, and looked Lucky in the eye. "Take off the pants." Leah took the pants off, and handed them back to Lucky. Lucky checked the inside of the pants. The tag on the inside of the pants had the number 2 on it. Shit! "Leah, you are not huge. These are a size two! Nobody is a size two! That doesn't make you huge okay?"
"Okay." Leah agreed.
"Good, now try these on." Lucky switched the size two pair of pants out for an identical pair, in a size four, her correct size. Leah slipped on the pair of pants, and they zipped up with ease. "Now isn't that better?" Lucky asked.
"Yeah." Leah answered.
"Great. You can't let your mind play tricks on you. You're perfect just the way you are, so stop trying to find a problem where there isn't one." Lucky said. Leah turned to Lucky and embraced her in a tight hug.
"I'm so glad you're here, I couldn't do this without you." Lucky admitted.
"No problem." Lucky replied, smiling. The girls were interrupted when a producer knocked on the door to let them know that Leah was to perform in five minutes. The girls were at MTV Studios, backstage at TRL. Leah was to perform her single I Wanna Love You Forever, which was number one on the countdown.
Five minutes later, Leah was performing her number one hit ballad, to the teenage audience of Total Request Live, every single person in the audience singing along to every word. On the outside looking in, Leah was a girl who had it all. She was a chart topping superstar living in a world where everyone told her yes. But in reality, she had just as many issues as the next person. The only difference was, how she chose to deal with those issues.
