It was Thursday morning, and just as Leah was about to get ready to take a shower she heard her cell phone ring. "Hello?" She answered.

"Leah hon, I've got some good news, and I've got some not so good news."

"Good morning to you too, Kevin." Leah said, greeting her manager.

"So what do you want first, the good news or the bad news?" Kevin asked.

"Hmm, let's see, no matter what you're still gonna have to give me the bad news, am I right?"

"Correct."

"Then give me the good news first." Leah replied.

"You know most people want the bad news first, so that the good news can soften the blow." Kevin said.

"Well, I'm in a good mood this morning, and I kind of want to prolong that, so let's keep it rolling with the good news." Leah responded.

"Well the good news is that you've just been booked for a photo shoot." Kevin announced.

"Okay, that's good." Leah said, taking in the news. She didn't mind being primped and pampered for a few hours and wearing clothes that she didn't have to buy. "So what's the bad news?" She asked.

"The bad news is that it's for Crystal Swimwear." Kevin said.

"Wait what?!" Leah exclaimed. She could practically feel the blood slowly draining from her body. Not a bikini photo shoot. Sloane Stallworth, New York socialite, and the designer of the Crystal Swimwear line was known for making her bathing suits notoriously skimpy, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. She would be practically naked, and considering Leah's body image issues, this was not good! "Kevin." Leah groaned.

"I know, I know." He replied. "If you don't want to do it, I can call and cancel-"

"No!" Leah interrupted him. "I'll do it."

"Are you sure?" Kevin asked.

"Yes Kevin, I'm sure." If Leah canceled this photo shoot, she's look like a flake, and that would give her a bad reputation. People would label her as "difficult to work with, and unreliable" and then no one would want to work with her at all. She felt stuck. Damn her luck. Plus, this was a big opportunity. Sloane Stallworth was particularly selective about the cover models for the Crystal Swimwear catalogues. If she could remember correctly, Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, and Adriana Lima had graced the covers of the last three issues of the catalogue. Leah swallowed hard. She didn't stand a chance.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Kevin asked.

"Don't worry Kevin, I'll be fine." Leah assured him. Liar, she silently cursed herself. "I can handle this, I promise. So when is the shoot?"

"March 2nd." Kevin answered.

"March 2nd?" Leah had suddenly remembered something about Lucky saying that most beach and swimsuit photo shoots were shot in the winter and spring months for some reason she couldn't quite remember. Yeah, the fashion industry was just weird like that. Leah thought about this for a second. The photo shoot was a little after the Grammys which was on February 21st, which would give her just enough time to figure out a diet plan and meet with a trainer. Ugh, she hated exercise. She really truly did. "Okay, I'll do it." Leah said finally making up her mind. Besides, it's not like she's never done a photo shoot before. She's just never done one almost completely naked. No worries. No worries at all.

After showering and getting dressed for the day, Leah's nerves were a bit on edge, so she decided to head downstairs to see what her family was up to, hoping that it would take her mind off of the impending photo shoot. Once she entered the kitchen she was hit in the face with the aroma of Starbucks caramel coffee- her favorite! Suddenly Leah felt like she were actually back in her favorite Starbucks down the street from her apartment in New York. "Morning." Leah said, announcing her presence.

"Morning Baby, I brewed your favorite." Gabrielle replied, placing a mug in front of her daughter as she sat down at the island.

"Thanks Mom, this is just what I needed." Leah said, taking a sip. It had just the right amount of cream and sugar. She was surprised that her mom remembered how Leah like her coffee.

"Is something wrong?" Gabrielle asked.

"No." Leah replied quickly.

"If there is you can tell me." Gabrielle reassured her.

"I'm fine Mom." Leah said, staring down into her mug. No, she wasn't fine, but she wasn't about to let her Mom to know that. She was an adult now, not some poor defenseless girl who wasn't capable of taking proper care of herself.

"You know, I know that I haven't exactly been 'Mother of the Year', and that we haven't always had the greatest relationship, but at the end of the day, you're still my daughter, and no matter what Leah I love you. I always will. So if there is anything wrong, or if there ever is, then it would kill me if you felt like you couldn't come to me."

That was the problem. She didn't feel like she could talk to her mom about anything. She didn't know how to just get over the rocky relationship that they had endured ever since Leah could remember, to now all of sudden her mom becoming her number one confidante. Now, Leah did like the fact that they were growing closer, this is what she's always wanted, what she's always dreamed of, but now that she and her mother were finally getting close, she didn't know how to just let it all out. She had held everything in for so long, and had dealt with everything on her own, without the support of her family for so long, that she didn't know how to communicate with her mother. She hated not being able to confide in her mother with all of her issues, she wanted so badly to just break down and tell her mom everything right then and there. But she just couldn't, it's like she wouldn't't allow herself to, she didn't want to feel vulnerable, she hated feeling vulnerable. She was also afraid of letting her mother in, in fear that after she left, everything would go back to being the way they were before she came back, and that she would lose that closeness again. So she chose once again, to keep everything hidden deep down inside, where they couldn't even scratch the surface.

"Mom, you and Dad raised me right. Don't worry about me, I'm okay, I'll be just fine." Leah stated. Now if only she could just get herself to believe that. Sometimes Leah actually did blame her parents for psychologically fucking her up. "So what's for breakfast?" Leah asked quickly changing the subject. No sentimental Full House moments here.

"Red velvet doughnuts!" Gabrielle replied.

"Mom! Red velvet doughnuts?!" Leah exclaimed. "Those are my favorite!"

"Which is why I bought them." Gabrielle said, pulling out the box of doughnuts and placing them on the counter.

"Wow Mom, you're really pulling out all of the stops." Leah stated.

"Well it is your last day here, so I wanted to make it special." Gabrielle said. "I'm really going to miss you honey." Leah couldn't believe that she had been here for almost two weeks. Initially, Leah didn't even think she'd last two days.

"Well Mom, you're always welcome to visit me in New York, you totally deserve a vacation, and besides, my apartment can get pretty lonely sometimes." Leah replied honestly. Her mother had been through a lot in a very short amount of time, going through a divorce, losing her mother. She didn't know how her mom could handle it all, and after Leah, Jill, Aiden and their aunts and cousins all left, Gabrielle would be in this big house all by herself. Leah wouldn't;t mind having her mother visit her in New York. She would totally give her the NYC Treatment; hair and nails at Warren/Tricomi, shopping at Barney's and Saks Fifth Avenue, a stroll through Central Park, seeing a show on Broadway... Leah could definitely imagine a good time.

"Wow, it would be nice to see New York again." Gabrielle replied. "You know you were conceived there." She stated very matter of factly.

"Mom!" Leah exclaimed. "Ewww!" Ugggh! The thought of her parents getting it on? Gross! That's an image that no child deserves to have stuck in their mind!

"Well how do you think you got here? The stork?" Gabrielle asked sarcastically.

"No!" Leah replied. "But that doesn't mean I need to know every detail of my conception!"

Gabrielle laughed good naturedly. "Oh honey, you're such a prude!" The mother-daughter moment was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

As her mother went to go answer the phone, Leah opened up the pink box across from her, twelve perfect red velvet doughnuts teasing her. Her favorite. How could she possibly resist? But then she thought about the photo shoot that she had coming up, and drew her hand back. No, she shouldn't. She really shouldn't, the doughnuts were good true, but they were also 360 calories of guilt. Leah had a weird habit of memorizing how many calories were in food. Over the years counting calories had become an obsession. But then again, her mom bought them especially for her, and that was an effort on Gabrielle's part to show that she really did care about her daughter.

She didn't want to rude and offend her mother. But she knew that if she ate a doughnut, that she couldn't eat just one, she'd end up eating the whole box, and very quickly. She'd make herself sick, and then she'd feel all of the guilt and shame, and then head for the bathroom to relieve herself of the shame. And then after that, she'd feel guilty for purging. The very thought of purging was terrifying. The act of purging hurt, and it was physically, mentally and emotionally draining. Yup, that was the exact effect that food had had on her. She couldn't just eat like any normal person. Everything she ate she had to mentally analyze it, and either restrict herself completely of something or binge on it altogether. She didn't want the guilt of the doughnuts, or the pain of purging, but at the same time, she'd didn't want to pass up the peace offering.

They were so delicious, and tempting, and she hadn't had one in over a year. Again, the thought of the photo shoot sprang into her mind, and she drew her hand back again, but then she could feel her stomach grumbling. And besides, they weren't just doughnuts, they were a sort of gift. Her mother knew she liked them, so she got them for her. She had wanted nothing more than to be close with her mother, like the way that Lucky was close with hers, and how JC was close with Karen. She craved that closeness. Maybe she could just suck it up, and sacrifice her feelings, and eat just one damn doughnut like a normal person.

I can have one doughnut, and that's it. Nothing else for the rest of the day. Leah promised herself. Leah then reached for a doughnut, and instead of drawing her hand back, she grabbed one. After one bite, she totally scarfed it. In almost no time, she was already on her second one, when her mother walked in. She placed the half doughnut down when her she saw Gabrielle. She was always so self conscious eating in front of people, even if it was only her mother. "So Mom, where is everyone?" Leah asked, suddenly noticing that they were the only ones in the house.

"There out buying things for your going away dinner." Gabrielle replied.

"Going away dinner?" Leah asked, surprised.

"Yeah, your father's coming." Gabrielle responded.

"Daddy's coming?" Leah asked. Wow, she couldn't believe that her parents were putting aside their differences just for her. What was happening to the world? Was she in the Twilight Zone?

"Of course he's coming, he wouldn't miss it for the world." Gabrielle said, before grabbing her purse. "Are you almost done?" She asked. "I have a big day planned for us."

"Big day?" Leah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Jillian's going to meet us at the mall to do some shopping, and then I made reservations for us to eat at Vicenzo's for lunch." Gabrielle explained.

Vicenzo's used to be Leah's favorite Italian restaurant (before she actually ate in Italy). This was not good. How could she avoid food now?

"So Leah, are you ready?" Her mother asked.

"Yes." Leah replied. But No, is what she really wanted to say.

********************

"So are you sure that's all you want?" Jill asked Leah, eyeing her salad.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Leah replied. "I had a big breakfast."

"...Okay, that's perfect... great!" Both Leah and Jill looked to their mother, who was talking to someone on her cell phone.

"I can't believe that Mom is actually planning me a goodbye dinner." Leah whispered.

"Maybe she's trying to make up for lost time?" Jill suggested, as she dug into her Fettuccine Alfredo.

Leah looked at in longingly. Carb City, she thought. "I wonder what she's gonna do when you Aiden leave." Both Jill and Aiden were staying for at least two weeks longer.

"She's probably going all out for you because she doesn't get to see you as often." Jill replied. With Leah's career, she didn't get to come home as often, whereas with Jill and Aiden, they came back home as much as they possibly could. Well, it wasn't like Leah had actually made an effort to be back home more either. "She really misses you, you know."

"She does?" Leah asked.

"Yeah." Jill replied.

"Does she ever say that?" Leah asked, hopeful.

"Before you came back, Mom was saying how she really wanted to make things up to you. She feels horrible about how rocky your relationship is." Jill whispered.

"She said that?" Leah asked, voice almost cracking. Jill nodded. Maybe, just maybe, things were finally changing. She would finally have the ideal mother-daughter relationship with her mom that she had always dreamed of. And it was also great to finally have a great relationship with Jill too.

"So, girls what'd I miss?" Gabrielle said, turning back to her daughters.

"Not much, we were just waiting on you." Jill replied.

"Leah Honey, is that all you're going to eat?" Gabrielle asked, looking at her daughter's dry salad.

"Yes Mom. I'm not really that hungry." Leah replied.

"But you barely ate breakfast." She pointed out.

Jill's eyes widened. "I thought you said you had a big breakfast."

Avoiding both her sister and her mother, Leah just looked down at her plate. This is not happening, this is not happening. This can't be happening.

"Leah you're starting to worry me, and Celia and Lorraine are worried too." Gabrielle said.

"You guys have been gossiping about me?" Leah exclaimed.

"No, it's not that... It's just that well, you're different." Jill chimed in.

"Oh so now you're in on it too?" Leah asked incredulously.

"Honey, all we're saying is that you've changed." Gabrielle said.

"Oh well of course I've changed in the last ten or say fifteen years since you actually gave a flying fuck about me!" Leah said, raising her voice.

"Leah be quiet!" Jill hissed, looking around to make sure that no one was paying attention.

"What, so I can just sit here and let you guys harass me like that?" Leah asked.

"We only want to know what's going on with you." Jill said.

"Oh so you really wanna know what's going on in my life? You actually care?" Leah asked sarcastically. "Did you bother to ask about my feelings when you made all of those fat jokes, or treated me like complete shit Jill?"

"Leah that's not fair, we were kids."

"Yeah, well it's stuck with me Jill, and I've had to live with that. And Mom, where were you to defend me, or to make me feel better when I felt like total shit. You just totally alienated me, like I wasn't even your kid. Well I'm sorry Mom, but if you haven't noticed, I'm different. Sorry that I couldn't be your perfect daughter."

"That's fair. I know that I haven't always been the perfect mother, and that we haven't always had the most perfect relationship-"

"Understatement of the year." Leah interrupted her mother.

"But I know, that this isn't you. the mood swings, the lack of appetite, the apparent weight loss. Just let me in." Gabrielle looked at her fuming daughter expectantly, as did Jill. The three sat in silence before Leah finally spoke up.

"You want to be a part of my life so badly? You really want to know what's going on with me? Fine. I'm a recovering anorexic and bulimic. I have anxiety, which is always heightened when I come back home, and I think I might have OCD. I've gone to rehab, and I'm still psychologically fucked. Some days I don't eat, and when I do, then I dispose of my food via purging. There, you happy?"

Gabrielle and Jill both stared at Leah stunned. Everything that they had ever known about her was forever changed. They would never see her the same way again.

"Yeah, I thought so." Leah said, her voice wavering. "And on that note I'm leaving." She said, before getting up from her place at the table, grabbing her coat and purse and storming out of the restaurant.Soon as she could get a cab back to the house, she was packing her bags and leaving for good. Fuck a Bon Voyage dinner. As soon as she hit the cold January air, she grabbed her cell phone from her purse, and tried to take deep breaths, because she could feel a panic attack coming on. 

"Leah stop!" Leah turned around to face her sister.

"I'm leaving." Leah replied. She opened her phone, and tried to remember the number to the Yellow Cab service.

"As in leaving Louisville?" Jill asked.

"Yes, as in leaving Louisville."

"Oh so you're just gonna leave like that?" Jill asked. "You're just gonna run from your problems."

"News flash Jill, I've been dealing with my problems for the last ten years, and I've done it all by myself." Leah snapped back.

"Well maybe that's the problem." Jill replied. "Listen Leah, you can choose to leave Louisville and go back to your life in New York, and act as if we don't exist. You can keep this wall up between us, and choose to stay guarded, and refuse to let us in, or you can stay, and let us help you. It's your choice Leah," Jill said. "So what are you gonna do?"