April 2002

“I don’t know Babe, I’d just feel a whole lot better if you were here with me.” JC said through the phone.

“I know, I know.” Leah sighed, looking out of the window and down below at the remnants of what the city used to be. “I’ll tell you what; I’ll talk to Lucky, and call you back later. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” JC replied. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.” Leah hung up the phone and leaned back against the wall deep in thought. She was positioned on the seat underneath the bay window, rethinking some life decisions. It was eight months post- 9/11 and she, along with everyone in the entire country was still pretty shaken up. Everyone in Leah and Lucky’s lives had been trying to convince them to move out of the City, for fear of another attack, and they had been mulling it over the past couple of months.

Leah’s parents had wanted her back in Kentucky with them, and Lucky’s parents had wanted her in Florida. JC wanted her to move into his house in LA, and Jean-Paul wanted Lucky to move to Paris, which she had already ruled out as an option. While California, Kentucky, and Florida weren’t completely out of the question for either of them, neither of them had been willing to fly; Leah had gone on an extended hiatus, and Lucky had kept all of her work in the City. With the singer Aaliyah dying in a plane crash, and then the attacks happening just a few short weeks later, they were pretty much done with flying altogether.

“Hey.” Leah looked to the door, to see Lucky coming in with a suitcase in hand from a photo shoot.

“Oh, hi.” Leah replied.

“You’ve been thinking.” Lucky said intuitively. She placed her suitcase by the closet, and joined Leah on the seat underneath the window.

“Yeah, I just got off the phone with JC.”

“And?” Lucky asked.

“He really wants me to be with him.” Leah replied. Being that JC was originally from Washington DC, and a lot of his family worked in and around the DC area, he had been affected as well. Luckily, no one got hurt, but he was willing to do any and everything to make sure all of his loved ones were safe, and that included Leah as well.

“You know I won’t be mad if you decided to move to LA.” Lucky assured her. She had been doing some thinking and was going back and forth with making some life altering decisions of her own.

“I know, it’s just…” Leah sighed,

“What?” Lucky asked.

She had never talked to anyone about this before, so it was hard to verbalize, but maybe if she told Lucky, then maybe- just maybe- she would get some sleep tonight. “We’re really fortunate.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lucky said.

“We didn’t lose anyone, and our apartment is still intact.” Leah huffed, struggling to find the right words. “Janae lost her mom, and Tim lost his wife.” Leah said referring to the family down in apartment 3B. “I mean it could be worse, so I feel really guilty complaining, when I still have you, and JC, and my family. I feel bad for wanting to get away from it all.” Leah said fighting back tears.

“And you think I don’t” Lucky replied. “I feel the exact same way. There’s not a day that goes by where I didn’t wish I could get out this place, and just escape the paranoia that something’s gonna happen, but I can’t shake my fear of flying.” Lucky said honestly. “And that’s the fucked up part about it, because I used to love flying, I don’t know… It just used to feel like riding in a car, but now all I can think about is, What if it goes down?”

Leah took in everything that Lucky had been saying. “I just wish that I could go back to September 10 again. Back when everything was still good you know?” Leah said. It seemed like everything in life had changed in an instant; one minute everything was fine and life was great, and the next, people lived day to day in constant fear. It hurt to see missing person flyers, and debris in the streets. She couldn’t imagine what the people who had lost someone were actually going through. She hated having to catch her breath every time an airplane flew over their building for fear that it would crash. She hated being in Manhattan and passing the collapsed World Trade Center. And she hated breaking down and crying about it in public in front of complete strangers.   And now here she was presented with the opportunity to just leave this all behind, to be with her boyfriend and to try to get her life back to some sense of normalcy. Try to be happy again. Maybe being around JC would be good for her.

But could she really leave all of this behind? New York was her home. She had been here for the past eight years, and she’d really felt like a native. The City was who she was. She had become a New Yorker. The loyalty that she had felt to this place was paramount. She felt like she’d be bailing if she left everything now. Leah was torn.

“New York will always be here, Leah.” Lucky said as if reading her thoughts. “You’ve been here much longer than I have, so I know that this is home for you, but this isn’t worth the sake of our sanity. I’ve been doing some thinking,” she continued. “I was thinking about moving back out to LA once the school year ends.” Lucky had been attending the Fashion Institute of Technology, majoring in Fashion Design while working as a Stylist.

“How about you move to LA with JC, and I stay here until school’s out.” Lucky suggested. “And if you decide that LA’s not for you by June, then you can always come back here, but if you do decide to stay with JC then we can sell this place.” Leah sat there mulling over the possibilities.

“Don’t answer me now. Give it awhile.” Lucky said before giving her a pat on her back, and standing up to head back to her room.

Leah sat there for hours going over her options, before finally coming to a decision. After what had happened, she knew that she was grateful for her life, and the people in it. She couldn’t live another day in complete fear and agony, and like Lucky said, New York would always be there. After all, there was nothing wrong with change.

May 2002

As Leah walked through LAX, it was the first time in months that she had actually felt free. It’s as if she could feel the weight practically melt off her shoulders with the change of scenery. She knew that everything wouldn’t magically go back to the way things were before- they never would- but this was definitely a step towards happiness, and she knew that she had made the right decision when she’d laid her eyes on JC standing there at the baggage claim.

“Hey Baby,” JC said enthusiastically, before picking Leah up, and spinning her around. He placed her back on the ground, and his lips crashed down onto hers. “God, I’ve missed you so much,” he said, his arms wrapped tightly around her. It felt so good to finally have her in his arms again.

“I’ve missed you too.” Leah smiled, hugging him tightly. Being in JC’s arms again felt like home. She felt safe and secure.

“It’s so good to have you here.” JC said, relieved to know that she was physically safe and okay. “So, you ready to go?” He asked, picking up her bags.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Leah replied. And she was. She was ready to get on with her life, ready to get back to being happy, and ready to face whatever life had to offer.