Jazzy is surprised, I should have warned her about Joey and his camera. "Ahhhhh! Who're you?" Andi, Justin, Joey and Chris are laughing.

I wake up and realize Joey has the light on. "Joey, it's too early for that."

"James, that's Joey?" I look at her, seeing she's still tired and nod. "Joey, please turn that off."

Joey complies with her request. "Only because you said 'please'." He makes a pouting face.

"Thanks." She turns her face to my chest and starts to fall asleep again.

Andi claps her hands, knowing it gets on our nerves. "Get up, Lance. Rise and grind! Jazzy, come on."

"Is she always this peppy?"

"When she gets up before us, she is." I look at Andi. "Come on, Andi. Be nice, please."

Andi crosses her arms over her chest. "Why should I?"

"She just moved over 1500 miles from everything she knew and we just met her yesterday."

"So?"

JC comes in the room. "So, just be nice." Andi walks out of the room. "Come on, Lance, Jazzy. We have to get to rehearsal before Darren gets pissed. Andi'll get over it, most likely by having us do 250 sit ups or something."

"What time is it?" She sits Indian style on my bed in front of me.

"Six in the morning, Jazzy." She groans and I rub her hand. "You don't have to come. We can probably show you after we get back from rehearsal." I get up and let her lay down. I cover her up with my extra blanket.

"Mmm, ok."

Andi is tapping her foot. "Let's go guys."

I look at Andi. "Let me grab a quick shower. Ten minutes." I grab my clothes and towel before dashing for the bath room. I strip and get in the shower, letting it hit my back as I wash my hair. I start thinking. 'Why do I like Jazzy? I enjoy her company and really like her personality. Why risk it? Might turn into a good thing. Why lead her on? I can't tell anyone yet. I like her but not like that. Maybe I can set her up with Justin or JC.' I'm rinsing my body as I get ready to get out when I hear someone knocking on the door. "Yeah?"

"You almost done in there? We leave in five." It's JC. "Andi's getting uptight and is talking in code with Justin, so the sooner we leave..."

I pull my jeans on and open the door. I have my shirt in one hand, my towel and dirty clothes in the other. I walk in my room to put my towel and clothes in the hamper, completely forgetting Jazzy's there. I hear an 'mmmmm' from under my blanket causing me to remember she's here until we leave Friday. I blush and quickly put my shirt on. "Be back as soon as we can. If we don't make it back for lunch, I'll call you while I eat."

Jazzy smiles. "Ok, see you when you get back, James."

I smile, grab my socks and shoes, and bolt for the door. I get in the van as JC, Andi, Joey, Justin, and Chris look at me. I look at each of them. "What?" I have no clue why they're looking at me like that.

JC tries not to laugh. "It's just funny that you like her and we only met her yesterday."

"So? You act like you've never liked a girl right after meeting her."

"I have. Just haven't made it as obvious as you are."

I put my socks on. "JC, she's a friend."

Joey chuckles. "Who you seem to really like more than that."

"I don't, Joey."

"That's not what this video says, Lance." Joey lifts the camera.

"Whatever, Joey." I keep my behaviors calm, but my mind is racing. 'Is it THAT obvious? How is it obvious? What are they talking about?' I get my shoes on and tied by the time we pull up to the warehouse. We get inside and start to rehearse. I notice how Andi is talking to Darren more than usual as they watch us. We bust our asses.

~~~~~

Ok, I'm trying to fall asleep again since Andi and the guys left for rehearsal. I'm only getting cat naps that last about ten minutes. I keep waking up and thinking about Lance and this morning. 'Does he like me more than he wants to admit? Why did Joey have to wake me up that way? Does Andi not like me? Why does JC seem irritated with me, by me? Justin is cool. There's something about James that just attracts me to him. Why James? JC is cute, but he's too old and he seems like he's in love with someone.' "I have way too much on my mind." I sit up and look at the clock on Joey's nightstand. It's already 8:03. I lay across the bed, grab my towel, clothes, and shower stuff. I go out of the room in search for Lynn. "Lynn?"

"In the kitchen, Jazzy."

I walk into the kitchen. "May I take a shower? And where is the bathroom?"

"Yes and from Lance's room, you take a left and it should be right in front of you."

"Thanks, Lynn. Um, after that, could I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." I go into the bathroom, close the door, set up my clothes, towel and shower supplies before I disrobe and get in the shower. I see a radio in the corner near the shower. I turn it on, find a station that plays a mix of the more popular music and have it just loud enough for me to hear it over the water. I wash my hair and body before I shave. I stand under the water and let it hit my body as I think. 'James is sweet and has piercing green eyes. He respects me. He is cute. He is in shape, like I am. He's intelligent. I enjoy his company. I guess I could let my guard down. If I do, I might get hurt. They leave Friday and who knows what kinda guy he is. He's gonna be 17. I'm only turning 14. Justin's 15, but I don't look at him like that. I like Justin, but more of like a best friend or brother than someone I could-' Lynn knocks on the bathroom door. "Yeah?"
"Are you ok in there, Jazzy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Be out in a minute."

"Ok. Do you still want to talk after?"

"Yes, please."

"Would you like me to make you something for breakfast?"

"Um, please? 3 eggs, scrambled with cheese on top? A piece of wheat toast?"

"Sure. That's no problem."

"Thank you." I turn the water off and get out. I wrap the towel around my body, shaking my head clear of Lance, Justin and JC. 'Get your mind clear. They're just your new friends, you don't know them well enough to get involved. Talk to Lynn about James and Justin.' I get dressed in a camo tank top, overalls, socks, and sneakers. I put my dirty clothes next to my bag and pull my extra bag out, putting the clothes I wore yesterday in it. I put my shower stuff between the bags and head for the kitchen. I sit down as Lynn puts my plate on the table. "Thank you, Mrs. Harless."
"Just call me Lynn, Jazz."

"Ok. Um, I wanna know something about a couple of the guys."
"Depends on which ones you're talking about."

I take a bite of the eggs and swallow. "Well, I kind of hit it off with Justin and James."

"You and Lance clicked more than you and Justin did."

"Well, I wanna get to know them better. Maybe you could kind of tell me what they're like?"

"Honey, all I can tell you is what I know about Lance. Justin is a little easier to talk about."
"Ok. What's Justin like?"

"Justin's a pretty good kid. He hardly gets in trouble and he's a sweet boy. He's usually very out going and respectful. He can be very understanding."

"What about James?"

"He's from Clinton, Mississippi. He's very sweet, respectful and intelligent. Both are understanding and are sometimes polar opposites. Lance isn't as good when it comes down to learning the dance moves as the other 4 boys."

"I can try to help him."

"Why are you asking about Justin and Lance?"

"I just wanna know. Justin and JC told me about Joey and Chris. JC told me about himself. Justin kind of didn't say much about himself."

"Do you have a crush on Lance and Justin?"

"Well, I like Justin's personality."

"What about Lance?"

"Um, uh, well, I don't know, maybe."

"It's ok, I won't tell the boys."

"I do like James a lot. I like how smart he is, his eyes, his personality, his company, how we can talk about almost everything, and how he encourages me to do my best at everything."

"You seem to have really connected with Lance."

"Well, why does JC seem so irrtated when it comes to me?"

"Oh, he's like the oldest brother or like the dad out of the boys. He helps to keep them in line."

"Isn't Chris the oldest?"

"Yes. He just wants to relax and hang out. He'd rather have fun, instead of always being serious. Joey is the one that tapes everything."
"I know that. He taped James and I sleeping this morning."

"That's what the scream was?"

"Yeah, me completely caught off guard first thing in the morning with a bright light and camera in my face."

Lynn laughs for a second. "I've gotten used to it. They video tape pranks, road trips, and anything else Joey thinks is worth taping. He taped most of our trip to Germany."

"Wow. Well, is there anything else I should know?"

"Joey is with Kelly and Chris is with Dani. The other three boys don't have girlfriends. Maybe you could get to know them a little better. To be honest I think you're a bit young for JC."
"I don't really like him. I mean, he can be nice and I've had a crush on him, but it's like the kinda thing where you look up to someone."

"Like a role model."
"Yes." I take my last bite and wash my dish. "Lynn, do you think we could go key chain shopping?"

"Sure. Go grab the money your mom gave you and we can get to know each other better, while we're out."

"Thanks, Lynn."

We head out to the store and bond while we're out. She asks a few personal questions. "Jazz, where's your dad?"

"He left Ma and I the summer I was four, just up and left. Haven't heard from or seen him since."

"So it's been just the two of you for the past few years?"

"This summer will be 9 years on our own."

"Wow. Your mom says you get good grades but have an attention disorder."

"Yeah, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I have a short attention span if I'm not interested, no matter how hard I try. I can't sit still, almost always in motion. Music, dance and singing are my passions. I use them to reward myself after I finish my homework. It takes me twice or three times as long as most of the kids in my class to finish an assignment. I write my spelling and vocabulary words again and again, until they flow from my pencil without a mistake. I'm not great at math, mainly multiplication and division. I'm really good at writing, history and science."

"You'll get better."
"Or just use a calculator for my homework and hope to pass with at least 87s on the math tests."

"Why do you expect to get such high grades?"

"To me, anything below that is unacceptable." We pick out a keychain for my house key and I use the rest of my allowance to get a new journal, some colored gel pens, and colored pencils before we head back to the house. We get back around 11:30 and start making lunch for ourselves. I hear the phone ring and look at Lynn. She nods to let me know it's ok to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey, I told you I'd call when we stopped to have lunch. Shut up, guys."

I giggle. "Thanks for keeping your word, James." I look at Lynn and smile.

"I hope everything is ok between you and Lynn."

"Yeah, I got myself a keychain and some writing stuff."

"How'd you do that?"

"My mom gave me a $10 foward on my allowance."

"Oh. So, how was your morning after we left? Quit it, Justin."

"They're teasing you?"

"Yeah. They think we're dating."
"Not unless someone asks."
"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe the other would have an answer by the time you came back from Europe."

"Well, maybe we can talk about this later?"

"Of course, James." I'm twisting a strand of hair on my finger, smiling. "I would like to know you better first. That's why we would stay in touch while you're out there and talk. The person who was asked would have an answer for the one who asked when you come home."

"That won't be till the end of this year or next year."

"That'll give us about a year to get to know each other."

"What if you start seeing someone while I'm gone?"

"I'll tell you."

"Ok. Honesty will be the foundation of our friendship then?"

"Of course, James. Without honesty, what is there?"
"Good point. Well, I'm being told we have to get back to rehearsing."

"Talk to you when you come home for dinner?"

"Yeah. Maybe you can watch us rehearse after dinner in the back yard."

"Ok. See ya then." We hang up and I stand at the counter next to Lynn.

She lightly touches my shoulder. "Who called, Jazz?"

"Oh, James. He called like he said he would."

"What did you talk about?"

"That if one of us asked the other out, there would be an answer to that question when you came back home for good."

"Honey, what do you mean by 'for good'?"

"When they come home and it's longer than a couple weeks."

"What else did you talk about?"

"If I started to see someone, I'd tell him and that the guys are teasing him for liking me."

"Oh, they constantly tease each other. Well, either way, I'm sure you'll be great friends and be close."

"I'm hoping he asks."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just want him to figure it out on his own."

"You like him that much to let him be your first boyfriend?"
"Yeah, I do like him. I just hope nobody else comes along and distracts me."

We laugh.  

~~~~~

Andi has been causing Darren to nit pick every little thing today and we've only been here just under 7 hours. Jeez, Andi, what did who do to set you off today?

"Alright, good run though. JC, you're half a beat ahead still. Lance, what's up with you? Your focus is off. Joey, stop being a ham. We have three more days to get the routines down before you go back to Europe for a tour. C'mon, guys. Justin, your focus is slipping, too. Come over here, Justin and Lance." Justin and Lance look at each other, worried about what Darren has to say. They follow him to the other side of the room and he signals Andi to keep rehearsals going. "What is up with your guys' focus?"

Justin and Lance rub the back of their necks and blush. Justin smiles. "Nothing?" he says shrugging.

"Justin, I know you better than this. SOMETHING is breaking your focus."

Lance caves. "We met this girl, Jazzy, yesterday and I kinda like her."

Darren looks at Lance. "You like a girl? Have you told her?"

"Yeah, she's so smart, honest and amazing. I-I-I'm scared to tell her that I like her."

"Get your mind back on the moves and worry about this girl later. Go and rehearse now." Lance walks back to the other guys and Andi, falling into the routine. Darren turns to Justin, who's glaring at Lance, to find out what's bugging the youngest member of the quintet. Darren mentally notes the look in Justin's eye before asking him again. "Justin. What's up with you? You're never off step," he points out, crossing his arms over his chest to wait for the soon to be 15 year old's answer.

"Obviously, it's Lance."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I thought she likes me. I like her. I thought I'd be able to date her by the end of this week, but I guess I have some competition."

Darren tries to hold back a laugh. "Whoa! Justin, first off, girls are very confusing. Second, this girl hasn't made a choice. Third, she JUST met you guys in the past day, day and a half. Fourth, you're gonna be in Europe, touring at the end of the week. Fifth, most long distance relationships DON'T work. Sixth, you don't even know her. Seventh, you're rushing head long into this and will end up being hurt. Lance is taking the time to get to know her and you're probably sitting back, hoping she comes to you while he's initiating interaction with her. Think this through."

Justin knits his eyebrows together as he listens and thinks. He lets his face soften and his body loosen. "I guess you're right, D. What should I do?"

"Talk to Lance on the way home and talk to her alone."

Justin nods before turning around to join his bandmates in their rehearsal, falling right in line with their rehearsal. JC looks at me out of the corner of his eye, noticing that the older teen is focusing harder after having spoken to Darren. JC realizes that Justin is also more precise with his choreography since being pulled aside as well. Lance sees JC watching both Justin and himself since they fell back into their places smoothly. 'What's the big deal with me liking Jazzy? Why does she get to me like this? Why do I let her? Why is everyone focused on me and Justin? Does he like her too?' He makes sure to hit all the moves in time with the other four guys.

Andi is smiling as they wrap up the dance for 'Tearing Up My Heart'. "Alright, guys, Darren's gonna lead the set list choreography and let's really focus on getting through it once or twice. Try to make it as flawless as you can, especially you, Lance."

I nod and get into position for the beginning of the set for their upcoming tour. 'Why is Andi being such a hard ass? Is it because Jazzy's around? Could it be that she's nervous about the tour? Does she feel threatened by Jazzy? Why do I keep thinking of her? I hope saying I like her didn't start a problem.' I focus on exicuting all the steps as we go through the set list. We go through the whole set three times.

Darren looks at the time. "Alright, that's it. You guys nailed it completely on the third run through. Go home."

JC looks at the clock on his cell phone. "It's only going on four. We can run through it three more times."

"JC, go home. You want to still work on it, do it at home. Have this girl you guys met yesterday help out Andi and learn the moves."

I watch JC sigh and hold his head. "D, she is just so annoying and too full of energy. She talks entirely too much."
I've had it with him acting like she's just an annoying little sister, without giving her the benefit of the doubt and getting to know her. "Maybe if you really took the time to know her, you wouldn't feel that way. She's a nice girl and if you really talked to her asked her questions that you want the answers to, you'd think differently about her. Anyone else have a problem with Jazzy?"

Joey shakes his head. "I actually like her, like a little sister. She's nice, polite and actually pretty funny."

I look at Chris. "I like her. She has a great personality, sense of humor and she has as much energy as I do, if not more."

"Justin, do you have a problem with Jazzy?"

He looks at me and shakes his head. "No, I actually like her. She's a sweet girl and is considerate of us all. She has a crush on JC and he hasn't liked her cuza how she told him. He was picking on me about liking her and she stepped right in and said it, just to take the focus off of me."

"Andi?"

"I don't like her. She seems stuck up and focuses on you way too much. She flirted with JC right in front of Chris and Justin yesterday in the yard. Then, she had the audacity to flirt with you from the time she came back into the house until we left this morning."

JC is looking at Andi in complete shock. "Neither of us were flirting. She wanted my opinion. She asked my advice for dealing with the heartache of leaving friends behind. I mean, I am aware she has a crush on me. I think it's more of an admiration kind of thing, but I could be wrong. I told her she's far too young for me and she seemed to take it just fine. She clicked with Justin and, yes, on the walk back to the house she DID flirt with Justin. The blame can't be on just her for that because he was doing it to start with and did nothing to stop her from flirting with him. We all know how Justin can get around girls like her."

I look at Justin before looking back at JC. "Why don't YOU like her? Be honest about it."

"I don't like her because she has far too much energy, talks too much, has an opinion for everything, flirts with you, me and Justin too much. More with you two than me, thank goodness. She's too nice and she just seems fickle to me."

"Actually, I found out last night that she does like me and she said it's because of my personality and intelligence. She likes Justin for his humor. She doesn't intentionally flirt with you because you told her she's too young for you. You make her nervous, but your intelligence also intrigues her, as mine does. She just wants to have someone help her to learn new things and she knows you, me, Joey and Chris would be able to teach her things about history, music, and so many other things that she'd like to know. But of course YOU won't give her the time of day to teach her how to play guitar or keyboards. You won't even help her figure out how to set her poems to music and convert them to lyrics. She wants to learn and she's always ready to learn something new, you just have to take the time and patience to teach her something."

"Is that what you two were talking about almost all night after she got back from her house?"

"Yeah, I told her she should just walk up to you, JC, and tickle you till you give in. She laughed and said that it would be mean to do that to you."

"Wow. I thought she was just another irritation I'd have to chaperone for the next three days."

"Now, don't you feel like an idiot?"

JC nods. "I guess we should head home and get showers. Maybe she'll help make us something to eat? You should call and see what she says."

I cross my arms over my chest. "You want to know, you call the house and ask her yourself."

JC sighs, hanging his head, as he pulls out his cell phone. He dials the house and waits for someone to pick up. I'm hoping it's Jazz. He look at me like he wants to punch me in the face. "Hello? Hi, Jazzy. It's JC. I was wondering if you'd be willing to make us something to eat because we'll be on our way home. I'm starving and I'm pretty sure the other guys are pretty hungry as well." He looks at Justin, Chris, Joey and myself. We all nod in response. "Yeah, they're very hungry too. Hey, can I talk to you after we shower and eat? Alright. That's fine. Oh, Jazz? Thanks." He looks at the phone. "She hung up on me."

I look at him. "So? Is she willing to make us something?"

"She said she can whip something up, but it's gonna take about 45 minutes."

"Let's sit down for a few minutes and let our heartrates even out before heading out for the half hour drive back home."

We all sit down and imagine what she could make in 45 minutes. We come up with some pretty out there ideas. After almost twenty minutes, we head out to the car to go home. Andi's still pretty tiffed. She doesn't say a word to me all the way home.

~~~~~

Lynn and I were watching a movie when the phone ring. "Go ahead and find out who it is, Jazzy. Could be Lance again."

I calmly get up and answer the phone in the hallway. "Hello?"

"Hello? Hi, Jazzy. It's JC."

"What's on your mind?"

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to make us something to eat because we'll be on our way home."

"Why?"

"I'm starving and I'm pretty sure the other guys are pretty hungry as well."

"Can you just make sure? Is Andi hungry too?"

"Yeah, they're very hungry too."

"Ok. I'm gonna let-"

"Hey, can I talk to you after we shower and eat?"

"Of course you can. It's what friends do for each other. Listen and talk."

"Alright."

"I'll let you eat in peace and wait outside for you."

"That's fine. Oh, Jazz?"

My mind was racing as I tried to think of what he could want to talk about. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Give me 45 minutes." I hang up and quickly think of what I could make. "Lynn, do you have velveeta block cheese?"

"Write out what you need and I'll tell you if we have it. If we don't, I can go get it for you."

I grab a piece of paper and a pen to write out what I need.

'Velveeta block cheese, elbow mac, milk, chicken, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, Itl'n seasonings, and onion.'

Lynn scurries around the kitchen and grabs all the things on my list, putting them on the counter closest to the stove. She grabs the pots and pans I'll need to make the food, putting containers aside for after I made them. "Thanks, Lynn."

"Need help?"

"I forgot butter."
She grabs it from the fridge and puts it with the rest of the ingredients. "There you go."

"Thank you and yes, I would love your help. Homemade mashed potatoes, baked chicken, broccoli, carrots, and homemade mac and cheese."

"Trying to impress someone?"

"No, it's just what came to mind when JC asked if I would make them something to eat for when they got back."

"Well, Andi and the boys are going to be happy and impressed." She kisses me on the forehead and I smile.

"I say let's get this show on the road." We bake the chicken breasts, cook the veggies, boil the elbow mac and potatoes and melt the cheese. We talk and laugh as we cook and bake everything for them. We pull out the chicken and finish making up their plates as they come in the door. "Hey, Andi, guys."

They all grumble various forms of 'hi' until they see the food. JC and Lance's faces light up. Lance hugs me and sits down, pulling Justin and Chris into the chairs beside him. JC walks over with a huge smile on his face. "Jazz, is this for the six of us?"

I nod and smile. "Yes, Lynn helped. Baked BBQ chicken breasts, home made mashed potatoes, home made mac and cheese, broccoli and carrots."

"It looks good. Thanks." He hugs me, completely appreciative of the food. "Lance is right."

"Wha-" I shake my head. "Just eat your fill. I'll eat after you're all done."

"Eat with us."

"No, you guys eat your fill first with Lynn. I'll wait outside in the yard like I said. I could use the time outside to get my thoughts in order anyway. Enjoy it." I gently push him. "Go ahead." I head outside and try to calm my nerves, to get my mind cleared. I'm leaning against the fence and relax with my eyes closed, playing some light music from the boombox Lynn was letting me use. I had set up the boom box earlier and had my Boyz II Men 'II' cd playing. I started with 'Jezzabel'. I sit there and quietly sing along with it, smiling.

~~~~~

She made us a 5 course meal and let us eat our fill while she cleared her mind. "I told you she is considerate of others."

After we say Grace, JC is surprised and keeps looking at her through the window. "Totally selfless, too. I feel so bad that she made this and won't even eat with us." I can tell JC's thinking by how slow he's eating. He gets up and makes another plate, bringing it outside to Jazzy.

I smile as he grabs his plate. "Going to get to know her?"

"Yeah, seeing as I'm the only one who hasn't given her a chance out of us guys."

I nod and he goes in the backyard carrying two plates to her. He's giving her the chance to know him and she'll let him get to know her. 

~~~~

I sit there, relaxed and wait for the guys and Andi to eat their fill. "Is there room for one more to sit here?"

I look and JC has two plates in his hands. "Sure. Hungry?"

He carefully hands me a plate. "This one's for you. You worked so hard on it. I decided that since you took the time to make it, you should eat with us somehow."

I take the plate, smiling. "Thank you."

"I appreciate how much trouble you went through to make this and that you even did it, after how I treated you yesterday." He sits down next to me. "Lance is right. You are sweet, selfless, considerate, a good listener, and very caring."

"What made you listen to him?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to not listen to him when he's angry like he was. He kinda snapped on me and Andi, saying that if we'd get to know you better that we'd learn to like and appreciate you."

I smile and blush. "Well, I can be a good friend or your worst enemy. It all depends on how you treat me and place me in life. If you appreciate, respect and cherish me, I'll be there to help you, defend you, and cherish you. If you choose not to, I won't do anything to help you. I have a big heart, but I can only take so much pain before I walk away from someone for good."

"I understand where you're coming from. For being so young, you really are very intelligent."

"Thank you. Lance told me that you're the musical genius. I've been trying to teach myself to play guitar, but I left my guitar back home with my best friend, Dawn."

"I can teach you on mine. It's no problem. So, do you like Lance?"

"Well, he is sweet, selfless, caring, intellgent and has the MOST beautiful green eyes I have ever seen."

"That doesn't answer my question. Him, as a person, not what you like about him." JC is smiling as he takes a pretty big bite of the mac and cheese, the first bite I'm guessing. "Mmmm, this is some good macaroni! I'm gonna havta tell Lynn to have you give her the recipe."

I giggle. "She helped make it all. Thank you. I do like James and I would like to give him the chance."

"So, mmmmm, what would it take for him to get the chance?"

"Just if he'd ask."

"That's it? Sounds simple enough."

"But I wouldn't give him an answer until you boys come home from Europe again. Which would give us the chance to get to know each other better."

JC nods. "Oh, I'm loving your mac and cheese. Understandable, though. Stronger friendship."

"Stronger foundation and base to build upon."

"If the relationship fails?"
"A beautiful friendship to fall back on and build on again, to have a more endearing friendship, I hope."

"You have a positive outlook. That's so hard to find. Lance says you write poems and would like to convert them into songs."

I smile shyly. "I do. I would love to make them into songs."

"I'll see what I can do to help you with that."

"Thanks. I appreciate that you're willing to take the time to help me with that."

"As long as you're good to us, we'll help you. Lance and Andi both say you like to dance?"

"I love to dance. I've done over 120 competitions, 70 of which were judged, all done for fun. I came up with the majority of the moves and my friends helped. I sang for some of them." I hear 'All Around The World' play and sing with it, subconsciously.

"That's Boyz II Men, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. Music is a very central part of my life when I need it most. It can motivate me, calm me, or just make me feel better. I love music."

"What's your favorite song?"

"Boyz II Men's 'Jezzabel' is my absolute favorite."

"Do you have that song?"

"I do. This is their second album they titled 'II'. Let me find it." I find the track and play it, quietly singing with it.

JC bobs his head with it as he finishes his food. The song finishes and he smiles, looking at me. "That's a good song. Do you have any other cd's or tapes out here?"

"I have old mix tapes and all my cd's just behind the radio. Why?"

"I wanna see if you have anything I like." He gets up after putting his plate on the picnic table, goes through my tapes and he gets a confused look on his face. "They all say 'Mix Tape' and a number. Except for these. 'Jazz Mix'? Let's try this one. I love Jazz music."

I lightly laugh. "Irony, in and of itself."

"Why do you-oh, your nickname." He laughs as he presses play on the tape player. "I love this song! It's not Jazz music."

"No, it's a mix tape my friends made before I left. It was their Christmas and birthday present for me. They recorded all the songs they know I love listening to and put it on a mix tape."

"That's sweet. Guess we can listen to it. Have you listened to it yet?"

I finish my food and put the plate in front of me. "No, I haven't. I know my friends, though. They know me better than most people would care to know."

"That's kinda like me and Justin. We know each other better than the other guys. I know Joey better than Justin and Lance. Chris knows Joey better than those two as well. We've all gotten to know Lance over the past year, year and a half. The five of us have become like brothers and best friends. We can get on each other's nerves and sometimes we do, but we still love and respect each other."

"The two girls that made the tape we're listening to are my sisters. I love and miss them so much." I cover my face with my hands and shake it.

JC puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a comforting hug. "That's how I feel about my friend, Kace. I haven't seen him in six years, but I talk to him all the time."

"Long distance friendships work better than relationships?" I look up at him and he looks down at me.

He smiles and kisses my forehead. "That is just so...sweet. Yes, friendships are better long distance than having a boyfriend or girlfriend long distance." He chuckles. "Are you always in 'ready to learn' mode?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I love learning."

"Stay right here, I'm gonna go grab something from my room."

"JC."

"Huh?"

"Can you put our plates in the sink, please?"

"Sure." He grabs our plates and runs inside. He comes back out a few minutes later with an acoustic guitar. He turns off the tape player. "I wanna play something for you."

"Old or new?"

"Old, but nobody's heard it in awhile."

I look at him, curious and interested. "Ok."

"Keep in mind that I love all my friends and will always be their 'man'. It's called 'Now & Forever'. It was done for MMC but I thought it'd make you feel a little better." I nod and he tunes the guitar before starting to play.

Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head

You make sense of madness

When my sanity hangs by a thread

I lose my way but still you seem to understand

Now and forever, I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you

Too caught up to see

The fortune that Heaven has given to me

I'll try to show you each and every way I can

Now & forever, I will be your man

Now I can rest my worries and always be sure

That I won't be alone anymore

If I'd only known you were there all the time

All this time

Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand

Now & forever, I will be your man

Now & forever, I will be your man

I hug him. "Thank you, Josh."

"I will be the man you can turn to for a friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on, someone to talk to, someone to hear you out, for now and forever. Kinda like a close surrogate brother." He pushes away slowly and smiles at me. "Ok? Deal?"

"Yeah. Deal. Same here."

"Wanna learn to play it?"

"Sure." I smile. He puts the guitar in my hands and slowly teaches me to play it.

"You have small hands. You might have some trouble playing some of the notes."

"Let me try."

"Ok. This is the intro through to the end of the first verse." He slowly teaches my fingers, eyes and mind how to play the song. We slowly get through it in 45 mins and I practice it a few times as he sings along. An hour and a half passes as we practice 'Now & Forever'. He's surprised and laughs. "Wow. You learned that pretty quickly." He looks at the sky. "I haven't seen a sunset in long time."

"Maybe it's symbolic of today."
"How do you figure that?"

"You finally took the time to actually open your eyes and see the beauty in someone else, so God took the time to make sure you'd see a beautiful sunset."

He smiles and pulls me so I'm leaning on him, rubbing my arm. We sit there for a few more minutes, not saying anything before we grab the radio, guitar, my tapes and cd's to go inside. "You really are an optimist and very intelligent. I'll hint to Lance about what you told me. It's refreshing how we spent that long talking and teaching you that song."

"It was refreshing to talk with you and learning the song."

He ruffles my hair. "You're a sweet kid."

"Are we getting along and friends now?"

"I wanna say we're on the way to it."

"Works for me. I'm gonna go sit with James."

He lightly shoves me toward the living room. "Go to him and make sure to smile." He pulls me close enough to whisper in my ear. "Hug him. FYI-he really likes you too."

I look at him like 'really?' and he nods his head, turning and pushing me toward the living room again. I go in the living room, walk over to Lance, smile as our eyes meet, and hug him. I sit with him just like the night before. "What did you guys talk about?"

"Anything, everything, nothing."

"Specifically?"

"Friends, music, and how what you told JC about me was right."

"Can we talk alone?"

"Of course."

He leads me to his room and he sits back against his head board. I leave the door open enough for Lynn, Andi and the other guys to know that we're still awake. He sits Indian style and I sit on his lap, facing him with my butt in the center of his folded legs. "I was thinking about how you said about one of us asking the other out, to be together. You said something about an answer being given when we come back home."

"Yeah?" 'I wanna kiss him.'

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I blink my eyes, thinking I heard wrong. "Huh?"
"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

'I REALLY wanna kiss him.' "Would you think I was saying 'yes' if I kissed you right now?" 'Good job fucking this up, cassinova!'

"Depending on how you kiss me, I might." He's nervous cuz he's swallowing alot.

I softly kiss his lips, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer for a harder kiss. He puts all his emotions into it. I see a light shining brightly through my eyelids and flip off Joey's camera before hearing JC. "Hey! None of that!" We keep kissing and start to make out. "Ding, ding, ding!" I reach out, trying to block the camera. I'm getting my first kiss and JC has to screw it up.

Joey comes in and laughs. "Surface for air, Lance. Jazz, let him let go." We're holding each other with our arms around each other, hands knit together on the other's back. We share smaller and smaller kisses before we let our foreheads touch and look into each others' eyes, smiling peacefully and happily. "Who started the kiss?"

JC laughs. "I'll rewind it. I grabbed the camera when I heard something about a question. Here, watch it." He hands the camera to Joey and leaves the room.

After a few minutes, Joey says, "I don't think you two should be left in here alone, not tonight." I see Joey put the camera on the nightstand outta the corner of my eye. "You two definitely have some serious chemistry. JC!"

"What?!?"

"Come here for a second."

I hear JC groan and come back into the room. "What, Joe?"

"I don't think they should be left in a room alone."

"They won't do anything beyond kissing. She's too scared it'll hurt and he's afraid to cause her any pain."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Joey. Relax. Plus, he doesn't have any condoms, so he won't do anything anyway."

"How do you know?"

"Joey, you know as well as I do that he doesn't want to chance getting ANY girl pregnant."

"Yeah, but what if they get caught up in the kiss and it just happens?"

"JOEY! Lance and Jazzy are smarter than that. I've known he's smart and just learned how smart she is tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"Joey, do you realize you sound like a worried parent?"

"No, I don't."
I smile at Lance. "Yes, you do. You sound like a paranoid mom. Kinda like Lynn would if she caught Justin and a girl kissing." My eyes never leave Lance's and my body never moves, with the exception of my arms move to lay around his neck.

He sighs. "Are you three sure nothing will happen?"

I smile. "A few more kisses, him moving onto the extra bed, and hand holding before falling asleep."

"I might kiss her a couple more times, pull the extra mattress out, lay on it, hold her hand from there while she lays on my bed, and get some sleep. Maybe even talk a bit."

"Joey, they have the same idea and I trust Lance."

"I guess."

I hear JC clap Joey's back. "Not a word to anyone about this because it's not our business until they're dating. Wait, are you dating?"

Lance and I answer in unison. "No."

"Not yet?"

"Sam, did you answer my question yet?"

"No, not until you come back home, James."

JC and Joey leave the room.