I drop my bags in the same place as I did the last time I was on their bus and run to wake his country butt. "James! Wake up! James!" I whisper in his ear.
He swats at me and I shove him, forcing him to look at me. "Sam!" he yells, throwing his arms around my body and pulling me into his bunk. We lay there hugging each other for what seemed like hours, although we knew it was only a few minutes. "Are you still playing JC's outlandish game?"
"It's a bet."
"Same thing."
"No, it's totally different."
"Either way, how goes the work?"
"I'm almost done with the work for my freshman year."
"So when will you start on the work for sophomore?"
"Next month."
I lay cuddled to him, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me and his hand rubbing my back. "What about Nick?"
"We are only friends and on the promo tour. I don't know what to do."
"What's wrong?"
"I told you last night," I remind him.
"That? Honestly, I've been thinking about that one and I can tell how he talks to you when you and I talk on the phone, that he likes and respects you more than you let yourself see."
"How can you tell?"
"When you're with him and on the phone with me, he asks who and says he'll wait for you to finish, he lets you talk with me. He sometimes puts up with us talking for hours on end, hardly saying much. You said he makes sure you balance school work and fun as equally as possible."
"Yeah, he's so sweet. I don't know what to do or when to let the walls down or how to tell him," I confess.
"You've been through alot."
"I just don't know how to act around him."
"Sam, he took advantage of the situation and left you and Vikki hurting. Brandon is a horrible man who did what he did and I know the whole story. I was there."
"I don't know what to say, how to act, who to turn to. All I have is you, James," I tell him, sobs starting to take over my body.
"Shhhhh. I know. I'm here," he assures me, kissing my head and rubbing my back.

"Is she ok, Lance?"
"She's fine, JC. We're just catching up, it's been five months."
"She calls and texts you more than the four of us, how much catching up could be left?"
"It has to do with specific things."
"I believe you," JC dismisses.
"Sam, he's not Brandon and he doesn't seem like that." He holds me closer, comforting me. "I don't see him like that." I continue to cry on his shoulder about the whole situation.
~~~~~

A combination of jet lag and crying must've knocked me out cuz next thing I know I'm waking up in Lance's bunk alone. My cell phone rings and I hear him answer it. "Hi, Nick. No, she fell asleep. Jet lag. James. Yes, I'll let her-"
"James," I call out.
"She just woke up, hold on," he tells Nick and places my cell on a counter or the table. He comes up to me and because I'm half asleep, guides me to the front of the bus. "Hey, sleepy. Nick is on the phone and waiting for you to pick up."
I hug Lance. "Thank you. Can we go in the lounge?" I request, thumbing toward the back of the bus.
"Yes, come grab your phone first," he tells me. 

I walk over and grab it from the table. "Hey, Icky," I answer as I head to the lounge.
"Hey, beautiful. I was worried when you didn't call after you landed. I understand why though."
"Jet lag bites."
"I hear that. How are you feeling?"
I lay on one of the couches, my head on my best friend's lap. "Tired. Happy to see my best friend."
"James, right?"
"Yes, it's been so fucking long. Five months is too long."
"I know. We were gone for two years, I get it."
"Now, you worked this hard and don't let it go to your head."
"That's why I keep you, you keep me grounded."
"Nick, you're a nerd," I chuckle.
"I try to make you laugh."
"You usually can get me to."
"I miss you. What, Aaron? Yeah, hold on. My brother misses you and wants to say hi."
"It's ok."
"I'll put him on."

I hear the phone pass from Nick's hand to Aaron's. "Hey, Jazzy," Aaron greets me excitedly.
"Hey, Acey. How hard you rocking that stage?"
"Really hard. Nick wanted to call before he went on stage. How long are you there?"
"I'm here until next Saturday when I land State side again."
"The twentieth?"
"The 19th is Saturday, kiddo. I land early morning in Tampa."
"I wish you were here. It's boring."
"I know. Just rehearse and when I get back, I'll make sure to get you laughing again."
"Are you doing the whole tour or just the not so busy US part?"

I walk to my bag and pull out the contract with Johnny, thumbing through as I walk back to the lounge. "It says unless my grades drop below Bs, I can go on all tours with you, Nick and the Boys and the guys. For the next three years," I summarize for him as I sit near Lance.
"Really? That's so cool!"
"Yes, and if I graduate before it's up, the grade thing is invalid," I explain.
"Wow, is that why you're working so hard to finish early?"
"Yeah, I'm trying to graduate in June."
He sighs. "You're crazy!" 

I shrug and smile at Lance. "Meh, I'm just the girl next door back home."
"That means all the girls there are crazy and too motivated!" he jokes.
"Nope, I'm a special girl." I lay with my head on Lance's lap again.
"We miss you so much and just want you to come back."
"I need time with James, kid."
"I know, he's your best friend from back home," he repeats what I've told him over the past two weeks.
"I miss you too. I wish I could be there."
"Nick has been mopey since you left."
"I bet. Is he smiling or feeling a little better right now?"
"Yes, since talking to you."
"Tell him 8 days and I'll be back."
"I will and make it fly by."
"Rehearse, do your school work and have some fun. That's how you make it fly by."
"Johnny's telling me I have to hang up. Talk to you soon."
"Definitely. Later."

I hang up and Lance smiles at me, making me smile back. "Sam, you really do like him. So you need to give him a fair chance. He might be your only one."
"I know." I feel my eyelids start to droop and I give in.
~~~~~

I wake up and find that I'm in a hotel bed, my head on Lance's lap on a pillow. I stretch and head for the shower. I take my shower and get ready for the day. I get to see Japan for the first time in my life, I'm so excited and can hardly wait. My cell buzzes on the nightstand and I answer it, looking at the caller ID. "Hey, mister performer. How are rehearsals?"
"Hey, beautiful. They're good and boring."
"I'm sorry, but I had to see James."
"I know. I just miss you and 'Tima is working us hard."
"It's a week away. I'll be back faster than you think. Just focus on rehearsals, school and having fun while you can."
"When do you land again?"
"At 4am in Tampa, next Saturday, the nineteenth."
"I miss you. One second? I have to go, call you later."
"Bye."

Lance stirs. "I got a call last night about when we go home."
"November?"
"It got pushed back. March."
I sit on the bed next to him, my head on his shoulder. "What about the first single release back in the States?"
"Still November 8, we just don't get to go home until March."
"Bullshit!"
He tilts his head to the side, looking into my eyes. "Sam, I know you were looking forward to us coming home in four months, but we have to get a better fan base here."
I sigh. "Will you be back before it drops?"
"A week before."
"Like the 17th?"
"More like the 9th. We have to be in NY for the premier of 'Tearin' Up My Heart'."
"TRL?"
"Yes, as far as I know."
"Can I go?"
"You'll have to stay backstage."
I shrug. "It's time with my friends."
"It's also a way for you to see the world."
"Yeah, it's a bit exhausting to fly between all these countries and things for two groups that I have friends in."
"Plus trying to graduate with me, three years early."
"I've been busting my butt and I start the sophomore work next month, so I might finish the work before you."
"Whatever, just make yourself proud. What's your GPA?"
"Right now it's like a 3.79. If I pass my work in and ace the finals, it'll jump to a 3.87."
"That's almost valedictorian status."
"It's the nerd in me."

He laughs. "Fun photo shoot today. It's for a teen magazine."
"Music?"
"Yes."
"Whooo!"
"You're crazy!"
"What time, JB?"
"We have to be there for nine. I'm going to get ready."
"How close is everything here in Tokyo?" I inquire, not even attempting to hide my excitement after he gets his shoes on fifteen minutes later.
He smiles the goofiest, cheesiest smile. "We are in walking distance of the shoot, three McDonald's, a Denny's, a hospital and the Tokyo Hilton hotel."
"We can we go to Denny's for lunch?" I ask, ready to jump up and down.
He starts to laugh. "Yes!"

I shriek and jump up and down on the bed as he answers the door. "Excited much?" Justin asks.
I jump off the bed, hugging Justin. "I missed you and your curls! We're going to Denny's for lunch! I get to witness a fun photo shoot!" I squeal with happiness and excitement.
He starts to laugh at my excitement. "Cool. C'mon, we have to do the shoot and then we have the day to ourselves." JC, Joey and Chris were in the hall waiting for us and I immediately hug them.
JC looks at me. "Jeeze, don't you look exhilarated about something?"
"Photo shoot, Denny's and I missed you guys. I wanna see Japan."
"Scoop, where are we staying?"
"Here in Tokyo, then Kyoto, Hiroshima, a quick jump to Berlin, Osaka and Kitakami. We're staying in Japan mainly. Just different parts."

"I've always wanted to see different countries!" I say excitedly as we climb into the elevator with Derek, Mike, Lonnie, Tiny, and a couple others of the security team.
"I can tell, Jazzy." I look at Derek and Lonnie, sticking out my tongue.
~~~~~

We get to the shoot a few minutes later and the the photographer rudely asks who I am. "For one, being rude to her means you're being disrespectful to us and we won't tolerate that. Second, she is family to us. Third, we should get down to business," JC corrects her while a translator talks in Japanese. She apologizes and we get down to the shoot. I put in my tape and we start the shoot. Lance and I start dancing as they do the solo shots. We are being goofballs and laughing. I see JC and Justin whispering and I start to talk quietly with Lance.
"I bet they're racking their brains about why we're so cool with each other. Have you told anybody?"
"I told security, Chris and Joey. Johnny too. I think Chris and Joey forgot already."
"I told Tyler, the Boys, Heather, Beverly and Karen."
"JC's family, the Boys, Heather, Tyler, Johnny, Chris, Bev, and Joey all know."
"That leaves those two nerd mongers that don't know." I start jammin to Aaliyah's 'Back & Forth'. "...I got dress personality, cheap mentality... Now let me see you go back and forth, back, back, forth and forth..." I'm dancing and getting some energy out just so I can be chill before lunch. 
"You always had rhythm and loved to have fun," Lance tells me.
I smile and we dance until he's up for his solo shoot and he just won't smile how they want. I know how and do three back handsprings, a round off and a back flip. I land it and make a face at him, causing him to laugh and the photographer to get the shot she wanted. "Have you been practicing, Baby J?"
I look at JC and smile. "Yes, I have with Nick and Aaron on their trampoline and in your yard."
"Can you do this move?" He does the low hand spring that they do during 'Tearin Up My Heart'.
I do three in a row. "Yeah, I guess I can."

We go back and forth, JC showing off and seeing if I can do the moves. Justin joins in and we goof off the whole time. The shoot wraps after some group shots and we go to Denny's around 1:30 for lunch. "I can't wait to be back home again," Joey admits. "You're still making everything we asked for, right?"
"Yeah, I'm figuring out what to feed you guys what day because Justin and James want down home comfort foods, you want Italian, Josh wants Chinese and Chris wants finger foods and things like that," I recall.
"I guess she does have a good memory," Chris admits.

"When do we go to Berlin?"
"For Tuesday afternoon. We hop a flight after the show in Kyoto and come back for Thursday morning," Lance informs me.
"Cool, one day in Berlin, Germany!"
"A day and a half. We will only be awake for about 16 hours, total," he calculates.
"Oh, the premier of TUMH, I can be there. I have to fly out to Dublin on March 14th, late night."
"So you're not going to be around most of the year next year?" Justin asks, pouting.
"Sorry. I will be taking January 26-February 3, the first week of May, August 4-11, October 13-20, the week of  Thanksgiving and five days around Christmas off in Orlando."
"What about New Year's?" JC asks. 
"I'm working on it. Johnny and Fatima want Nick motivated and I guess I'm his muse. He's kind of like James, but without the immediate connection." I wanted to say previous history.

They start talking about having me be there for Chris and JC's birthdays this year. "I'm going to be with you guys from August 3 until September 3, then from September 8-October 25."
"What about our first full tour in the States?" Chris questions.
"I was told last week that I'm going to be notified when the label and you guys figure it out. As far as I know, Johnny has me on your first worldwide tour."
They smile and we finish eating. We go sight seeing and I go overboard with pictures.
~~~~~

It's been a short week because of how busy they are right now. We got into Berlin last night and we're now sitting at a table in a nice restaurant. Justin is being a dipshit again. This time Joey is taping Justin's idiocy. It's July 16, 1997 and Justin's acting like a complete idiot in this nice restaurant. JC and Lance have me sit between Chris and Lance. I'm trying to talk to JC. "Do you you really think I can do this?" 
"Oh yeah." Justin taps JC's cheek, talking nonsense and making weird noises.

"Well, well, I haven't seen you around my boys in a few months," the fat pig says in my ear.
Lance sees me close my eyes and hold my breath. "She's only with us for a few more days."
My stomach churns and I look at JC. His eyes lock onto mine and he mouths 'What's wrong?'
'I don't like him.'
'Lou?'
'Yes.'
'You going to be ok?'
'I might be sick.'
'How?'
'To my stomach.'
'I feel like that when he's around too.'

"Excuse me, I have to use the ladies' room," I say, standing from the table. I briskly walk to the bathroom and throw up in the trashcan. My mind begins racing. 'Why do I get like this around him? Why does he creep me out? JC understands, why? Lou makes me sick. I can't wait to leave for Japan again. I hope he doesn't come with us.'
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"You ok, Jazzy?" It's JC.
"I will be when we leave Berlin and get away."
"We leave in a few hours."
"I know. I can't wait."
"Me either."
"Let me rinse my mouth and I'll be out."
"I'm waiting for you." I know he's doing it to protect me because I am his responsibility every time I'm with the guys. When I'm with the Boys, I'm Howie and Kevin's responsibility. I rinse my mouth and exit the bathroom, hugging JC for comfort. "Five hours until we leave," he tells me, more than likely counting down. I take a deep breath and we head back to the table.

Lance had ordered something he knew I'd like, trying my best to eat and I knew I didn't want to risk it coming back up. The waitress comes over and speaks broken English. "You take go?"
"Please," I reply, nodding. 
I look at Lance and he nods his head, reading the fear in my eyes. "Thank you for dinner, but we should get some sleep."
"Ok, you have to be in Osaka tomorrow, so I will see you boys later on during the tour."
The five of them nod and we all get up, heading for the bus. I immediately go to Lance's bunk, he climbs in after me and I cry myself to sleep. 
~~~~~

When I wake up, my head is on a fully clothed chest and someone else is curled around my body from behind. I look at the foot of the bed and see Justin. I glance at the table in the room to find Joey and Chris asleep, face down with their arms on the table. I look up far enough to see a grey medallion, proving it's JC. That means Lance is spooning me. I guess you could say I'm comfortable with him laying behind me, his body curled and cuddled against the back of mine. It's true because we've slept like this since I was nine when we'd share a room. He always seemed to calm me down and comforted me. I have no idea how many pictures 'Renny has of us sleeping like this, but it was a comfort thing and I feel so safe right now. I look at the clock and see it's seven in the morning. I curl my body tighter to JC's and Lance curls his around mine, cuddling closer. Lance's face nuzzles into the curve of my neck and JC's body tenses as he mumbles in his sleep. "No, don't touch her." I rub his chest with my hand for a split second and his body relaxes. We all sleep until the alarm clock goes off around ten.

Today and tomorrow consist of interviews, rehearsals and two concerts before I get on a plane to fly to Tampa. I get to see Aaron, Nick and the other Boys in two days.
"James, ligean dul." His grip on me slackens and JC jumps as I get up. I shower and get dressed, leaving the room to get Lonnie. I have my cell and my key card. I pop my head into the open door for his room, noticing the rest of the security staff were in there. "Hey, fellas!" I chirp. They all greet me warmly and hug me. "Lonnie, would you be opposed to my kidnapping you for the day as my bodyguard?"
"Not at all, Jazz," he replies with a gentle smile gracing his face.

We head back to the room I woke up in, surrounded by the guys. "One question."
"What's that?" he asks quietly while I push the door open.
I point to the scene of the guys asleep, a void between JC and Lance where I was sleeping. "Why did they decide on this?"
"Let me guess, the void is where you slept?"
"Yes."
"We all noticed how bad Lou shook you up and the boys went into protective mode, JC went overboard."
"So now I'm like a sister to the other four?"
"You've been JC's baby sister since the night he took the time to teach you that song," Lonnie informs me.

I remember that night and smile. "Yeah, he went all big and mighty brother on me when I spent the day with Nick the first time."
Lonnie smiles as I close the door, we turn and head down for breakfast. "We heard about it from Derek."
"How bad was JC about it when he talked to Derek?"
"His hands were flying all over the place and he was a bit loud, but got told what happened, where you went and when you and he got back. Other than that, he left it to you to tell JC."
"You know about James and I?"
"The whole story between you two?"
"Yes."
"Lance told us a couple months ago when he told Joey and Chris. Johnny found out three weeks ago. Do Justin and JC know?"
"Not yet from what James said."
"So how long have you and Lance known each other?"
"About five or six years. His best friend is my cousin Darren."
"How are you related to the kid?"
"His mom and mine were best friends in high school, his dad is my mom's cousin. My grandpa and Darren's grandpa are brothers, married best friends. Darren and I are second cousins," I explain, ordering breakfast for both of us.
He raises an eyebrow. "How are you and Lance so close?"
"At first he felt bad for me, but that was before he saw how 'Renny included me and soon after that we just started talking. We got comfortable and have an amazing friendship that we've had for four or five years, the last two being through letters and phone calls. I moved to Orlando six months ago and I bumped into JC and Justin."
"He said something about you moving to Massachusetts."
"August of 94, I spent every vacation back home with him and 'Renny-Christmas, Thanksgiving, spring, summer, winter, every one of em," I tell him, my back home twang slipping out.
"You have the same accent as Lance," he observes, a lopsided smile appearing on his lips.
I smile back, relaxed. "We both lived in Ellisville and Clinton, Mississippi."
Our food comes and we continue to talk about back home as we eat. My cell phone rings and I pick it up. "Yeah, Daddy C?"
"Where are you? Do you have someone from security with you? Are you ok?"
"In the café, Lonnie and yes."
"I woke up and you were gone. I got scared."
"I'm fine and I asked Lonnie to come with."
"Ok," he tells me, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm going to join you two, I'm hungry myself."
"You're always hungry, Sleepy."
He laughs. "Yeah, yeah."
We hang up and I continue to eat while Lonnie tells me about his childhood back home. "Hey, JC. It's about time you woke up," Lonnie teases.
"She fell asleep before us. She was out within an hour of climbing into Lance's bunk and him holding her. Since that's on my mind, how come he's able to spoon with you?"
"He's a good friend and we've been very close. We just happen to be the kind of friends that cuddle and are very comfortable with each other," I quietly defend, attempting not to blatantly tell him that I've known James for so long. He said he'd tell the guys.
"Most people take years to get that close, not six months," he argues. "Especially when they're co-ed friendships, girls are usually a little more cautious about having guy friends."
"It's all I know, considering over 90% of my cousins are guys and I spent most of my time with them and their friends," I point out and shut my mouth before I spill the beans about the situation. "Guys also bring less stress and drama into friendships," I nonchalantly add, in a desperate attempt to cover my tracks.

The subject is dropped, my point most likely made clear, and we start discussing the day's events. The other four guys and the rest of the security team join us, eat and then we head out for the interviews, rehearsal and the concert. I have been texting Nick and Lance all day. Nick about being back in Tampa and Lance about back home and Nick. The next day we had to be up for five to start rehearsals in Kitakami, JC, being true to his reputation, told us to get to bed. We were exhausted anyway. Lance and I crashed in his bunk, as per normal, for my last night with them. I would be hopping the flight to Tampa tomorrow.
~~~~~

I wake up around three in the morning on Friday and I wake up Lance. "The bus isn't moving."
"We're in Kitakami," he mumbles, pulling me closer and we fall into dreamland for two more hours.
"Hey, Jazz, Lance you have to get up," I hear JC tell us. I stretch and yawn, Lance following suit after feeling me do it.
"We're awake," Lance confirms.
"We've been at the arena since three or so."
"That's when she woke me up to tell me that we stopped moving."
"It's alright. We have to get in the arena in the next half hour."
Lance and I nod, getting out of his bunk. We go in there arena a few minutes later and because we're half asleep, an old routine/habit rears its head-his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder, my hands over his and my head leaning on his. We yawn a few times and I see fruit on the table. "James, I want fruit. Ligean dul."
He releases me. "You still love fruit," he says, mid yawn. 
I nod and all the guys go for separate interviews. I listen in on Lance's. "Is the girl you were holding your girlfriend?"
He shakes his head. "No, she's a very close friend of mine and we're just very comfortable with one another."
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"No, I'm very much single."
"How long have you known her?"
"Long enough to be comfortable with each other. We tell each other everything and are extremely close."
"How do you know her?"
"I'd rather keep that between her and I."
"She seems to be a very central piece in your life. How do you cope with being away from her?"
"Phone calls, text messages, and letters. She visits us around our birthdays and some holidays."
"Did she visit on your birthday?"
"Yes, she spent from the afternoon of the third (of May) until the evening of the fifth with us, mainly me."
"Did she do anything special with or for you?"
"No, just the usual day of hanging out, a card and a picture of us that she holds close to her heart."
"Why was the picture so important?"
"It was from the last night we spent in Orlando back in January and it was us with the other guys (of *NSYNC) asleep in the living room."
"What does the end of this tour mean to you?"
"We get to go back to the States, visit our families and takes a well deserved break around promotional appearances."
"What has it been like, being an important piece to *NSYNC?"
"It feels great, I do miss my friends and family back home, but I do enjoy being part of this experience." He gets asked a few more questions, switches interviewers and repeats the process 3 times (I think). They then endure three group interviews and 4 photo shoots. They rehearse and I join them for fun. 

Darren is laughing at how hard and serious I can get the guys to work and focus. "I thought I was a slave driver, Jazz!" he yells up to the stage from the center of the arena.
"I don't say anything, I just fall into place and bust my ass just as hard, if not more, than they do. I do it for fun, exercise and because they're my friends. I love to dance," I tell Darren via Lance's mic.
"They have two hours to chill out in the game room, so get off the stage. You might become the sixth member," he tells us, joking with me about being a member of their group.
We head backstage and relax, James and I talk about whatever comes to mind. We knew we have to be careful because Justin's sitting close to the couch we're on. Lance is laying face to face with me and we're talking in whispers almost. "Sam, I'm glad we started hanging out again."
"Me, too. Neenee was surprised when I told her."
"She knows about that?" He peeks over my shoulder to see if Justin or JC were paying attention. JC's laying on the other couch and listening to a cd player, Justin's playing a fighting game with Chris and they're both completely engrossed in their activities. "What did she say?"
"She's glad I kissed 'a nice boy from home'."
He smiles. "She still approves of me."
"She misses you. We should go home for your birthday next year," I suggest.
He nods. "Sounds like a good idea. I miss home."
"Darren misses you. My uncle misses you too."
"I wouldn't doubt that for a second. Your Neenee must miss me the most."
"That she does and she saw a picture of you from six months ago. She said you looked familiar in it, smiling when I told her it's you. She asked if you're the same one that 'Renny is friends with and that I 'used to follow around like a pup. When I confirmed it, she continued her relationship/experience interrogation." 

We must've fallen asleep because JC is waking us up. "Lance, we have to get into costume and play hackey." He inhales sharply and stretches, forcing me to do the same after standing up. "You two are either dating or just too comfortable with each other."
I raise my eyebrow and lock my eyes with his. "Comfortable with each other." They get ready for the show and get a hackey five minutes after they need to be on stage. After the show, Lance makes sure to get me to my flight on time (only brought my gym bag and I have it as carry on) after I check in my bag. "I'll call when I land."
"You better," he jokes.
"You know I'm a creature of habit."
He hugs me. "I know. See you in a few weeks."
"Definitely, James, definitely."
He kisses me on the forehead. "You are sweet to me."
"As you are to me."
"See you soon," he affirms as my flight is called. 
We let go and wave as I walk onto the plane. I put my bag in the overhead and take my seat, buckling up. "I miss you guys already," I say quietly to myself before I settle in.