Ok, I know most girls would give their arm to be his girl, but the situation got to me and I couldn't take it. I spent the night on the phone, crying to James. He got me a plane ticket to see them. A day out in Europe with the five of them to try to heal, then we're stateside again. I'm about to land and see my best friend. I close my eyes as we land and take a deep breath. "You may now exit the aircraft," the stewardess tells all the passengers.
I grab my carry on, I only brought my gym bag filled with a couple days' worth of clothes and homework. 
I almost run off the plane and when I enter the airport, I spot James immediately. I run into his arms and cry. "He's a jerk. I'm here. I can't believe you put so much into that and he did that over something like that," he voices.
"I need to cuddle my best friend and cry," I admit.

He guides me to the bus without another word spoken and I know the other four are up because it's around 2 in the afternoon. JC is the first one to see me. "Hey, Jazz." I look at him and nod. "What happened?" I shake my head. 

I'm wearing pajamas, my eyes are red and puffy and my hair is in a messy bun. "JC, give her a couple days to sleep and feel a little better. She might need to talk to you then."
"We go home tomorrow," he points out the obvious.
"Don't you think I know that? I had get away from that fucker!" I say, tears falling again. Can I just stop crying? I did everything I could to be good enough for him, he still did what he did. He got what he wanted and now I'm the tool.
JC just sits down with his eyes wide with shock. I drop my bag on the floor bus and go to James' bunk, he's right behind me. I cry the hardest I've cried since it happened, facing the wall and he wraps his arms around me, pulling my body to his.

I cry hard enough to grab Justin's attention. "What's wrong with Jazz?"
"Her heart got broken."
"Oh, that sucks. Does she always tell you everything?"
"Most of the time. This time she only said it ended and he's a jerk."
"Why didn't she tell you the details?"
"She was and is crying too hard."
Justin touches my shoulder to be a good friend and I pull away. "Does she have something against me?"
"No, she's just pissed off at most of the guys around her. She snapped at JC and that never happens. She's picky over who touches her, what's said and doesn't want to be alone."
"Oh."
"This was her first relationship and it bombed."
~~~~~

They performed one last time before we fly home and I still haven't said a word to even Derek or Lonnie. I finished all my work for my junior year and will get my senior work when we get home. I just keep to myself and cry while James holds me. I hardly sleep and try my best to hide my broken heart. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. He's called and I won't answer.

My phone vibrates on the table and the screen alerts me that Johnny is calling. "Hi."
"How are you doing?"
"Good."
"How is the school work coming?"
"Working on my finals for my junior year," I say, writing science notes.
"What happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're supposed to be touring with the Boys."
"I need time away from him."
We never told him. "Who?"
"Nick."
"Why?"
"Had a fight and I need time to myself."
"Where did you take off to?"
"James."
"You're with *NSYNC right now?"
"Yes."
"What's the story behind you two?"
"He became friends with my cousin and we became friends the following year. When he left to be in the group I was there to say goodbye. He looked different when I saw him in Orlando and found out almost a year ago that he's the same James I've known since I was 8 and I'm the same Sam he's known since he was 12."
"So you've known him for six years?"
"Something like that."
"Ok. Do the other guys know?"
"Not sure, James is supposed tell em."
"Ok, I'll talk to him."

"Don't tell Nick where I am."
"He told me you won't answer his calls or texts."
"Now he's worried?"
"Yes."
"Tell him I said to go to hell. Bye, Johnny."
"Bye, Jazz."

We hang up and Aaron texts me. 'Why won't you talk to my brother?'
'Did he tell you what he did and said?'
'No'
'Find out and you'll know why'

Justin comes into the lounge and sits next to me, handing me a Carmello bar. I smile and hug him. "I thought it'd make you feel a little better," he admits, smiling.
"Thanks," I reply.
"Ha, she speaks! What happened?" He pulls me closer to his side and my head goes on his shoulder.
I sigh and tell him the overview. "Nick broke my heart and lied to me."
"Must've been a hell of a lie to hurt this bad."
"It was."
"Don't go back into your shell, please."
"I'll try not to."
"You know who you're going to stay with in Orlando?"
"James."
"You want to stay with me and my mom?"
"I'll think about it."
"You know that I don't like when you're broken hearted?"
"Why?"
"Because it hides who you are and how beautiful you are on the inside. It also makes it no fun being around you."
"Thanks for telling me, I didn't know."
~~~~~

We've been in Orlando for a couple weeks and I guess you could say I seem like myself again, but I'm still hurting. We go to NY in three days to go prep for the album release. I can't believe that they have some peace before they get crazy big like they are in Europe.

"Hey, you," Justin greets me and I smile.
"Hey, yourself."
"How's the healing?"
"I'm getting there."
He smiles and cups my face with his. "Not all guys are like him. Look at me, I'm not," he informs me, making a funny face just to get me laughing.
"I know and that's why you're one of my two confidants. I'm just glad to be around you."
"You almost ready for a day at the beach?" he asks, stroking a pose.
I giggle and nod. "We packed the cooler and I have my towel."

When I go in the driveway, I see JC's jeep sitting there and it brings a smile to my face seeing Joey, Chris, James and JC waiting for us. James smiles, standing to talk to me. "You look better."
"I needed a few nights of laughs and junk food."
JC walks over and gives me a hug. "You're feeling better."
"Yes. I'm sorry for the blow up a few weeks ago."
He swats at the idea. "No biggie, you just had your heart broken."
I smile and he rubs my arms. "Did someone say beach?"
"Yeah, we did," Chris tells me.
"Beach ahoy!" I say, a big grin plastered on my face.

The whole way there, they keep talking about the foods I've made for them in the past couple weeks. They ask me to cook for them again, making various requests. Justin, Chris and I jump out the second JC kills the engine. "Catch me, old man Lucky!" I wildly laugh and Justin grabs me as he runs by me, carrying me into the water. "Ahhhh!" I scream, laughing right after. He runs in as far as he can, drops me in the ocean and swims off. "You shithead!"
"Come get some!" Justin taunts.
I swim after him and we splash each other when we get close to grabbing the other. We're just goofing off and having fun. They all pick on me, laugh with me and just bond. I could be in the background forever as long as it's with these guys, I'd probably give Justin a chance or James. Give me a few months and we'll see what happens. For now, let's focus on the here-

"Ahhhh!" I scream. Justin and Chris caught me off guard as I stood near the water's edge. They have me by my hands and ankles as they walk a little further into the water, swinging me a few times before throwing me in and running to the sand. I get out and laugh, appreciating their friendship and my time with them. We eat the sandwiches and snacks, sipping our sodas and waters as we sit on the blanket. "Thanks for being there for me."
Five pairs of eyes look at me-two blue, two brown and one green. They smile. "No problem," JC replies.
"It's what friends do," James says.
"I've been in your shoes," Chris informs me.
"We told you to turn to us if you needed us," Joey reminds me.
"Of course we're going to be there," Justin responds, smiling. "Even if we tried to get rid of you, we would regret it after."
"I'm glad to know that I mean that much to you guys."
~~~~~

It's June and I'm graduating beside James, a 3.97 GPA included. "I guess we owe you what we promised," JC says, as he sees me in my dress, cap and gown.
"Guess ya do," I chirp. "I'm only fifteen! Whoo!"
"Three years early and you almost got valedictorian." He hugs me, beaming with pride.

"Graduating seniors, please form a two lines," the graduation director calls out. 
I shrug with a grin plastered on my face. "That's James and I." JC hugs me once more before letting me fall into my place of the line. 
James and I smile at each other. He mouths the words I've been hearing all day and just can't keep from smiling when they're said, 'I'm proud of you, good job!'
'You too, James'

The ceremony starts at Clinton High School and we march out, sit through the speeches and he's surprised when I'm called up for the final speech. I take a deep breath and go on the makeshift stage to the podium.

"As many of you are wondering why I'm so much smaller than the majority of the graduating class of 1998, it's because a friend of mine and James Bass' had issued a very intriguing proposition-graduate early and make everyone of them proud-and I am also vertically challenged."

The auditorium is filled with laughter. "When I moved to Orlando from Massachusetts, they put me back a grade due to the academia being advanced. 
I had arranged for the work to come from the schools in Clinton, home to me, and I went to visit James and our four amazing and very proud friends in Europe while they toured, welcoming me with open arms into their very complex and often confusing world. 
In the past year, I have completed my entire high school career with a strong and intact 3.97 GPA. I have suffered my first broken heart this year, been to Europe five or six times, had a taste of life on tour, experienced concert rehearsals and dealt with all of it while finishing school three years ahead. I'm glad to graduate from a school here, back home!"

I smile and hear everyone cheer. "I know high school isn't easy, but I did all the work everyone else had to with less time and James can attest to how horrible I am at math. I breezed through the rest and stumped on math. I have wonderful friends and I love them and their loving families. 

Darren Dale, you're my cousin and I love you immensely. Thank you for having faith in me! You are one of the many reasons why I'm standing here today, giving this speech and accepting my diploma with a heart filled with pride, joy and love. You as well as our family here at home, mean the world to me. I have no idea where I'd be without any of you.

Josh, if it weren't for your proposition, I wouldn't have been so very motivated to do it.

Chris, thank you for everything.

Joey, your patience with me has been noticed and appreciated.

Justin, it'll be your turn soon enough and I'll proudly cheer and whistle when they say 'Justin Randall Timberlake, come accept your diploma' in Tennessee. 

James, all those nights of late night study sessions, math help and encouragement kept me on track.
Darren, I wouldn't be here without your faith, love, encouragement, and believing in me.
To the rest of my family here at home, thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement and knowing I could do this. Yes, you deserve two thank yous. 

Congratulations to the graduating class of 1998 for making it through high school successfully! Everyone here is proud of your accomplishments!"

I sit back down as I receive a standing ovation. I wait the few minutes and they begin to call up the grads. "...James Lance Bass, come to the stage and accept your diploma..." the principal calls over the microphone. "...Samantha Marilyn Charpentier, come to the stage and accept your diploma three years early..." I smile, accept it and move my tassel attached to my cap.

Joey taped it and JC was going picture crazy. Justin has a sign he's holding up that says he's proud of James and I. We spent the night enjoying multiple conversations as the Bass and Charpentier/Dale clans converge for the jubilation. The food was delicious, the company was positive and we were happy to be able to be done with it all. We flew back to Orlando the following evening.
~~~~~

Ok, it's been almost 4 months since it ended with Nick and I've been flirting with Justin. He instigated the whole thing! It may not justify it, but it makes me feel better. James knows he's far too valuable to me to risk it. It's just before July fourth. Most nights Justin and I can be found cuddling on his mom's couch, his bed, or in a hammock. I'm staying with aunt Diane and James at their house tonight. I have been telling James some pretty 'disturbing' thoughts I've been having about Timbs. I haven't even kissed him, held his hand or anything of that nature. "James, what would you say if I told you how bad I want to kiss Justin?" I bring my lips into my mouth and hold them between my teeth.
"Sam, is that all that's on your brain?"
"Well, I do like him. All we've ever done is hug."
"Ask him out."
"No!" I snap back.
"Why not ask?"
"Then he's going to be distracted the eighteenth!" We had just found out about the Disney special.
"No, I don't think he will."
"What about the press?"
"Meh, they don't matter. Tomorrow is the fourth, ask him."
"James, I'm so old fashioned."
"I can talk to him," he offers.
"No, I like how he and I flirt. We've been flirting for a month almost. He'll ask when he's ready."
~~~~~

"Jazzy, can I talk to you?"
"Sure, Timbs." I walk over to him.
He grabs my hand and smiles. Could this be the moment? "Would you be my girl?"
My eyes bug out. July 10, 1998. I try to answer him and nothing comes out, standing there opening and closing my mouth. "Um," I manage to make a single sound.
"It's ok if you don't, I won't take offense."
"Timbs."
"Hmm?"
"Yes, but we move very slow."

He nods, smiling like a fool, taking a deep breath. "Should we tell the guys?"
I shake my head. "No, let's keep it to us."
"Ok," he agrees, hugging closer than usual.
I look at JC and James, who are watching us like they're hawks and we're the prey. "I think you should get back to rehearsing," I say in his ear.
"Right," he answers, smiling bigger than I've seen in a good while. We go back to the stage and the guys rehearse until seven, when he separated us from the other four and said he was heading back to his house to kick back.
"You have homework too," I remind him, teasing.
He groans about it. "Not much," he grumbles.

We go back to his mom's and head for the backyard, grabbing his homework and the radio on the way. Love music, to us it's just as much a part of me as our hearts help keep us alive. He pulls out his geometry work first as we lay belly down in the grass and I see where he's stuck. "They want the rest of the 180 degree angle. It's simple math. 180 minus 103 is how much?" I explain.
"Um, seventy... Seven," he answers, putting the answer down. "I need to have the equation too."
"X+103=180 or 180-103=x, same idea for all of these."

He's scribbling down the notes and I know he's going to confuse himself. I grab his hand, draw two lines through what he wrote and help him write out the proper formula for the math problems. "This is the right one?"
"That's the proper formula set ups."
I continue to help him with his homework and he finishes in less than an hour, understanding the formulas better. "Justin, Sam, dinner," Lynn calls out to us.

"Be there in a minute, momma," Justin responds, looking in my eyes. He packs his books into his bag again and steals a kiss from me before running inside.
"Justin!" I yell, running after him.