It's been almost three months and still nobody is sure about what Justin and I have. James and JC have voiced their suspicions, but we've shot them down time and time again. I'm sure Joey has us figured out and won't so much as whisper a word, it's not his place. Chris knows, he's watched us and Justin had asked if he knew (he gave a quick nod and walked away). "Only Chris knows, he won't tell."
"I've been lying to James as to why we've been so close for the past three months."
"We open for Janet tomorrow, tell me you're coming," he begs, his forehead on mine and licking his lips.
Oh, dammit! Those lips, I melt when he licks them. Fuck, I'm 15 and I shouldn't be thinking like this. God, I hate Nick and I'm hoping Justin can help me out. I close my eyes to stop myself from doing things to him. "I'm sticking with you and the guys."
"Thanks, Sam." He only calls me Jazzy or Jazz when the guys or parents are around. Lynn and Paul know, but have agreed to keep quiet about it. Lynn likes it because he concentrates more on everything.
"I know you said you didn't want to rush..."
"If it's on your mind, we can talk about it."
"You know how I told you about what I gave Nick on his birthday right?"
His eyebrows furrow, interested and concerned. "Yes."
"Have you?"
"No, I haven't."
"I was wondering if..."
"Sam, no. Your kisses, hugs and holding you make me happy."
Keep in mind we're alone in his mom's basement (entertainment room), watching a movie. I sigh, relieved and give him a quick kiss. "I feel so bad about that now."
"Don't, it was a question and you wanted an answer," he reassures me, shrugging. I lay with a pillow under my head on his lap, knees drawn up and his fingers rake through my hair. I have been up since 4 yesterday morning and it's 6 at night, I just can't sleep. My bags have been packed for three days and I guess I'm anxious because I promised the five of them (mostly Justin) that I'd stay on from tomorrow through until the end of 'Ain't No Stopping Us'. That's only a few months and I can't wait to leave home, things have gotten pretty bad between Nick and I.
"What was the last fight about?"
"Huh?" Sometimes a quick change of subject gets me, I'm off guard and it comes from left field.
"With Carter."
"That he's dating someone and talking to me about that."
"What you were asking me about?"
"Yes. He's talking about that. I hate him. He should just let go." My cell rings and the display reads 'Oldest Carter'. "Hello?"
"Hey," he whispers.
"What's up?"
"You won't say my name?"
"No, it's admitting defeat."
"I still l-"
"Don't say it, I'm trying to move on."
"I miss you."
"That's nice. Why are you whispering?"
"I'm hiding from the guys and they can't find me."
"Bye, don't call me again." I hang up on Nick, not caring what he has to say. It rings again and I ignore it. I cover my face with my hands and groan, frustrated. "Shoot me."
"Nope, but I can kick his ass," he says, smirking and his baby blues sparkle mischievously.
"Justin, it's ok. I just wish he'd lose my numbers and stop talking to me. I don't need the stress of him calling me," I explain.
"Change your number."
"Then I have to give it to everyone again," I think aloud, weighing the options.
"Just give it to JC and he can pass it along to us, Johnny, and our new choreographer."
"He has a weird name is all I know."
"We haven't met him yet, that's in a week."
"Oh, yay," I feign excitement. "I miss Darren."
"He needs time off," he reminds me.
"You five exhausted him enough to make him need a few years off!" I joke.
"Yeah, just blame it on us."
"It's always your fault, Timbs!"
He tickles my sides and I roll off the couch, running for the basement door. Just as I touch the knob, he wraps his arms around me and pins me in the closest beanbag chair. "Why'd you try to run?"
"I wanted you to chase me," I say with a sneaky smile.
His cell buzzes and he answers it. "Hey, Lance." He kneels in front of me, resting his head on my lap. "Her phone is upstairs. You want to stay here tonight?" he asks me, his head turned to the side on my lap.
"Can you go to James'?"
"I have to ask."
"I'll go ask," I say as he gets up, bolting up the stairs as fast as I can. I check the kitchen, seeing as it's almost dinner time now. "Lynn?"
"What's on your mind, Sam?" She almost always is smiling, unless one of the guys get on her last nerve or Justin is behind in assignments.
I smile because nobody calls me by my nickname here at Justin's. "Could Justin stay at James' with me tonight, please, Ms. Lynn?" I ask leaning over her counter on my elbows, my face in my hands.
She looks at me, thinks for a few seconds and the smile she had previously reappears. "Just make sure he brings his school work and gets some of it done."
"James and I will, Ms. Lynn," I agree, wholeheartedly smiling.
"You, Lance and JC keep him out of trouble all the time," she praises.
"We try."
"Thank you."
I look in her eyes and stand up. "I'll tell him what you said and that it's time to eat." I run back to Justin, he's sitting in the beanbag chair and relaxed. I lay next to it, my head resting on his abs.
"Well?"
"She said sure. You have to do some of your school assignments and it's time to eat."
"See you later. Yeah, I'll tell you. No, she knows the master code for that game. I haven't played that game since leaving for Europe unless it's the second one against her. Haha, no. Bye."
We have dinner and he grabs a school bag and his tour bag, we leave in our pjs for James'. I just walk in. "JAAAAMMMMEEEESSSSS!!! I'M BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!!" I yell into the house.
"I'm screwed," I hear him respond from his office. He peeks around the door. "You bring the curly haired one?" he teases, smiling.
"Yes, I brought him. Justin," I say, popping around the corner as James pops into his office again. He kisses me. "James and I will be in the living room in a minute, wait there? I have a feeling that he might want to talk to me."
"I guess so."
I quickly run my fingers through his curls and go in James' office, shutting the door. "What's on ya mind?"
"I have a gut feeling you're not telling me something," he says quietly, leaning back in his cloth covered office chair.
"Like what?" I question, my eyes darting around the room.
"Maybe about Justin?" he inquires, hitting the proverbial nail on the head.
"No," I lie, thinking of an excuse to cover our tails. "We just take the time to get to know one another and have gotten to be good friends."
His lips move to the left, meaning he doubts it. "I will know soon enough." I can feel his eyes on me as mine wander about the room. "I still can tell when you don't tell me things."
"It's not about Justin," I deny.
"What is it that you're not telling me then, Sam?"
I pull his other office chair over to him and sit, pulling my legs to my body and wrapping my arms around them. "Well, it has or had to do with Nick on his birthday," I admit as I tell him everything.
"What? You're only fifteen! He's eighteen! You and Jus-" he rambles.
"No! Nothin has happened between me and Justin. We've just taken the time to really get to know each other better."
"So only Nick? Who else knows?"
"Justin knows."
"How come you told him?"
"I dunno why I told him first. James, I don't intend on telling anyone else, not even JC. He broke it off five weeks later!"
"Ok, fine. I just don't see why you couldn't tell one of us before. It's been over eight months."
"I was hurting because I gave away the most precious and sacred thing I possessed, he breaks up with me a few weeks later. Gee, I wonder fucking why!"
"Relax, I'm not passing judgement. I understand, though."
I take a calming breath and stand up, putting the chair away as I leave the room. "I don't know how I'd get through all this without you guys."
I sit with Justin on the couch, sitting so I'm leaning on his side and his hand is on my stomach. "You told him?"
"Yes."
"Not about us?"
"No."
He grabs a pillow from the chair, the precious Taz one, and puts it on his lap. He knows I'm exhausted and haven't had any sleep in somewhere near 40 hours, he makes me lay down. His fingers start sliding and slipping through my hair, relaxing me. "Little surfer, little one make my heart come all undone. Do you love me, little surfer girl?" He begins singing one of the songs he claims make him think of me. "I will make your dreams come true. Do you love me, do you, little surfer girl?" He starts another song,"Off the Florida keys, there's a place called Kokomo, it's a place you wanna go." He's lulling me to sleep, singing to me so I get some rest. He cares. "We'll perfect our chemistry." His hand is moving slower through my hair. "Get there fast and then we'll take it slow... Porte Au Prince, I wanna catch a glimpse... Now if you wanna take it slow, Kokomo's a place you wanna go." I'm almost out and he sings one of my all time faves.
"Life is just a lonely highway
I'm out here on the open road
I'm old enough to see behind me
But young enough to feel my soul
I don't wanna lose you baby
And I don't wanna be alone
Don't wanna live my days without you
But for now I've got to be without you
I've got a pocket full of money
And pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of lovin'
And I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah
Babe, can't you see that this is killing me?
I don't want to push you baby and I don't want you to be told
It's just that I can't breathe without you
Feel like I'm gonna lose control
I've got a pocket full of money, oh yes I do
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But when it comes to lovin'
I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah
Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope? Yeah yeah yeah
Tell me baby, yeah
What are the rules the reasons and the do's and don'ts?
Yeah yeah yeah
Tell me baby, tell me baby, yeah
What do you feel inside?
I've got a pocket full of money
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds, oh yeah
But when it comes down to lovin'
I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah
I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Chapter End Notes:
Lenny Kravitz~Can't Get You Off My Mind
Beach Boys~Kokomo & Little Surfer Girl
Beach Boys~Kokomo & Little Surfer Girl
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