"What the hell is his damn problem?"
"He wants to know."
"So you basically told him without saying the words?"
"Yes, baby."
"I wish I wasn't so fucking scared..." I mutter, trailing off into my thoughts. He just holds me for a few minutes, my hand in his as I listen to him breathe and his heart beating.
"Why are you scared? Is it about me?"
Talk about reading me like a book. "Kind of. After what happened with Nick, I'm afraid to open myself up emotionally to you and I know I shouldn't be. You're so sweet, honest and you always talk to me. You're always there exactly when I need you."
"I try to be a good friend and treat you how I want you to treat me."
"Yeah, I know and that's why I try not to treat you like I did him. He hurt me in the absolute worst way and I don't want to repeat it. I felt like I didn't show enough emotion and I was too open."
"I know, baby girl. Like you said, I'm not him. You're a good girl and it makes me trust you. I won't let you down. I really like your brain." I make a 'huh?' face, tilting my head so I could see his face without lifting my head from his chest. "I mean your intelligence. I was thinking of how to say it and it got mixed up," he says, chuckling.
"I figured as much, you're easily confused," I tease.
"You forget things," he jokes back.
"I didn't forget how to do math."
"Thank goodness you didn't! Who would help me study?" He kisses me.
I giggle. "Is that what I'm good for?"
"Someone to talk to, confide in, love, cherish, treasure and have fun with. You always make everyday better, no matter our status."
"Thanks."
~~~~~
James, Justin and I are taking turns playing Sonic before their last show with Janet. "What is it about Mississippi that makes you call it home?" Justin asks me.
I destroy a baddie and dodge a dropping set of spikes, answering him afterward. "I have family and friends down there and I miss them so much it's insane." I'm battling Robotnik in the third act of the Marble Zone. "Whoo! Eat it, metal ass!" I yell at the game as Robotnik flees after defeat.
"Sam!"
"Jazz!"
"Mouth, girl!"
I look from James to Justin to JC. "What?" I ask, trying to play innocent.
"Justin, stop sniggering at me. Jazz, you cuss too much and you need to stop or cut down on them," JC chastises us.
"Jazz, you don't talk like that back home, do you?" James remonstrates.
"No, James, I don't talk like that when I'm home," I admit, sighing for dramatic effect. Justin looks at me and cocks an eyebrow in complete interest as I pass the controller to James. Justin's sitting on the side opposite of James on the couch in the game room after rehearsals. I widen my eyes and shrug, being a nonchalant as possible about it. It's not my end of it to tell them, so I won't. I want to, but like I said before-James is supposed to tell his group mates. I told their families and friends about James and I, the history behind us. My cell plays Aerosmith's 'Crazy' and I quickly find a place to sit where none of the guys can interrupt me. "Hey, Les," I greet, climbing onto a seven foot speaker using a chair as a step stool and sit up against the wall, hugging my knees to my body.
"Girl, I miss you. Nick has been dating this chick and has been talking about you non-stop."
"Hopefully when she's not around."
"No, just with the four of us, our parents, the guys, the people they work with and Brent."
"I guess that's good."
"He's trying to get in touch with you."
"What the fuck for?"
"He wants you to go on tour with him and the Boys."
"Why in the hell would he do that to me?"
"He says he still-"
"Not going to hear that static, not from or about him," I interject, being close minded.
"I was going to say 'cares deeply about you'," she informs me. "You changed your number and failed to give it to him and AJ."
"On purpose."
"I know, I understand. Can you at least call him if he says that he won't bring up how much he misses you and all that craziness?"
I sigh, weighing the pros and cons of the situation I'm in now and the possible ones that may come up if I do decide to tour with them for the US leg of the Black & Blue tour, seeing as I had ridden out part of Backstreet's Back. "Let me sleep on it till the first, a few days?"
"Let me talk to Nick and I'll see what he says."
"Yeah, text me until they go on, you can call while they're on."
"When's that?"
"Between seven thirty and eight fifteen."
"I'll text you between now and then. I'll call you back when you said."
"Talk to you then, Les."
"We miss and love you, Sam."
"I love and miss everyone but him," I say, sneering on the last word.
"He wouldn't get to you if you didn't."
"Drop it. When would I be heading out and where and how long?"
"You'd have to be in Tampa for December 29 and he's asking you be on the road with them until the end of the tour on New Year's next year," she tells me cautiously.
"You're telling me that they're asking me to be on a rinky dinky fucking bus with them for a YEAR?"
"Maybe we should involve Johnny?"
"Um, no. I just have my own stipulations. I'm just warning you in case I say yes."
"Like what?"
"Like I'm not rooming with Nick when we stay in hotels," I say, rotating my wrist as I try to utilize it to improve my train of thought.
"Girl, he's expecting you to want to room with one of the older three."
I get an annoyed look on my face as I begin to ponder on the idea. "Les, I just don't know about it."
"Aaron will be with them," she tells me, surely a persuasion maneuver.
"Girl, I've known you for a year and a half, you're guilt tripping me."
"And some change. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."
"How long was I practically LIVING with you guys?"
"Before, during or after you two dated?"
"After doesn't count."
"Close to a year."
"Wow, really? How long was I with him?"
"Somewhere around eight months, I think."
"No wonder I'm still a sucker for him."
"So?"
"Let me know what he says."
"He just got home, let me ask."
"You're not on the phone with me!"
"Gotcha!" I hear her cover the mouth piece. "Nick, I talked to Jazz earlier and she said that you have to abide by her stipulations and that she's going to consider it. She won't room with you. You can't bring up how much you feel for her, miss her or think about her when she calls. It'll be from a blocked number."
"Do you think she might agree?"
"I don't know."
"Les, you told her I'd do whatever she wants?"
"Yeah. You still dating my friend?"
"Yeah... But you know how I feel about her, I mean Jazz."
"Of course and she doesn't want to hear it."
"Just give her my number and tell her to call, I'll pick up."
"Will do. Nick, give her time and you two might go back to being friends again."
"Not as close as we used to be, but maybe."
"Love you, Nick."
"Love you too, Leslie."
I recognize the faint click of her door as she shuts it and puts the phone to her ear. "You heard that right?"
"The trust is out the window, but we can start over. No interests and only friendship, he tries for anything else and I'll beat his ass. Am I fucking clear?"
"More than crystal," comes Nick's wise ass answer that Les has no doubt picked up.
"Sometimes I wonder how the hell you could be related to him," I comment, wanting to say alot more than that.
"Talk to you soon. Text ya the details soon."
"I'll think about it, Les."
"Talk to you in a bit."
"Yeah, later." We hang up and I climb down to find Justin looking for me, knowing not to call out for me because I won't answer. He heads to the changing room under the stage and I clamber down as silently as I can. I know my voice echoes when I sit on a tall speaker on the stage, making it much harder to find me. It's what I do when I want to be left alone or when I want to make a call. I catch Justin looking in a closet between the stage and game room. I creep up behind him, wrapping my arms around him and kiss the middle of his back.
He turns around in my arms and kisses me, enveloping me in his arms. He roughly tugs my body to his, proving how much he does care and worry when he can't find me because I took off without a single syllable being uttered. "What's up?"
"Just a call from a close friend I haven't talked to in a long while."
He brushes his lips in a sweet buss on my forehead. "I know you might need a break from us, more me and James, so if you need to go home, we understand."
"Well, Leslie, Ange, Bobbie and Aaron miss me."
"Isn't Aaron going on tour with your ex soon?"
"He already is, but I'd be there to support Aaron and the Boys as performers like I have done for a year and a half for you guys. I'd be bouncing between tours. I have until December 28th to decide. I can do the shows in Tampa and Orlando, fly back to you for New Year's Eve and stay until I get aggravated or they head back on the road."
"So we have time to talk about it. We can do that after the show. Are you going to stay with us when we go to Mississippi, Tennesse, Florida, NY, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts?"
"Yes, I'm also planning on trying to avoid him," I say with full emphasis on the final word.
"When will you know more, baby?"
"After you get off stage."
"Alright, but please remember that no matter what, it's your decision and you have to do what you think is absolutely right. I stand behind you no matter what you decide. I hope you can stand up to him."
"Thanks, hon. I hope I can too. No matter what, you're one of my best friends and I love you. Even if your friends tell you otherwise, feel free to keep in touch with me and I'll answer ASAP." He nods, holding me as close as he can and kisses my forehead.
~~~~~
"Yeah, I have to talk to my boyfriend about it."
"So, two or three days and then barely over five months away from my brother."
"Like I said." I walk to the arm of the couch and let my body fall backward onto the cushions, my free hand sliding under the back of my head.
"I know. Would you be ok with talking to him right now?"
I sigh, my eyes moving to the right corner of my vision. "I'm hanging up if he says anything concerning an 'us', 'sex', or 'another chance'. Don't doubt it. I won't put up with it."
She tells him and he takes the phone. This is going to be very awkward for both of us, we both became involved a couple months back. "Um, hey."
"Hey. What's this about going on tour with you?"
"It's six months and world wide," he informs me, sounding like he wants to say something I don't want to hear.
"I'll be bouncing back and forth between you five and the guys."
"Why?"
"What does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't," he says, his voice straining and cracking.
"Then why did you ask?"
"I just, anyway, you can bunk alone on the bus or bunk with one of the other guys. You get your own room at hotels. I won't bother you because it's one of the solutions Brian came up with, unless I have to."
"Nick, why haven't you asked me to be at more shows other than the Florida, Massachusetts, NY, Mississippi and Kentucky shows?"
"To give you space, so you have time to try to heal and for what I did because what I've done to you."
"You know why I didn't give you or AJ my new number then."
"Yeah, I fucked up."
"Took you all this time to see it?"
"No, I just didn't want to admit it and now I have, moving on in the process."
"Same here. What am I supposed to do during the tour?"
"Just be moral support and talk to us, more the others than me."
"I can manage it as long as you and I have minimal time alone and to interact," I snarl into the phone.
"You hate me, don't you?" he questions, noticing my hostile tone.
"Gee, let's see-I gave you what you wanted, after how long? I spent most of our relationship at your side, cheering you on and being so good to and with you! Out of nowhere you dump me and I hear that you're dating your sister's friend who is a dancer and choreographer!"
I hear him tell Les that he'll be in the basement talking to me and he wants to be alone. I hear him put on a 'NOES' movie to cover his voice. I notice the tactic because he did it alot when I was there. "I don't think she and I are going to work out. She's very indecisive and she isn't as spontaneous as you. She's kind of a stickler for work and is always working. Maybe we can rebuild the friendship and trust we had before?"
"Maybe even be close like before. That is going to take a long time, you destroyed me."
"I know, I'm sorry I did that."
"What hurt most is that you moved on so soon, surely before you even had a chance to think or breathe. It took me four months, by then you had me replaced," I reason, a tear falling from my eyes which reveals my true position in this situation.
Completed
Kaotyk is the author of 47 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 1 members. Members who liked Orlando, Another Wasted Move? also liked 20 other stories.
This story is part of the series, Trivial Times. The next story in the series is Questioning Myself.
This story is a favorite of 1 members. Members who liked Orlando, Another Wasted Move? also liked 20 other stories.
This story is part of the series, Trivial Times. The next story in the series is Questioning Myself.
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