Sunday night (midnight)

"Hey man," Justin greeted his blue eyed friend, taking a seat next to him on the bed where JC held the laptop in his lap. "What'd you doing there?"

JC shrugged. "Googling some baby stuff," he mumbled, closing down the computer. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I couldn't sleep and saw your light on. Joey and Lance are playing cards outside so I think I'm going to go join them in a while. Want to come?"

JC shook his head, resting the laptop gently on the carpeted floor next to the bed. "I'm alright, thanks."

"Want to talk about anything?" Justin offered. "You know you can always talk to me C."

"Don't have sex when you're drunk." JC said, laughing lightly. "Abstinence is the way to go Timberlake!"

Justin laughed. "So Daddy C is actually going to be a daddy huh?"

JC sighed. "I guess," he mumbled.

"Have you told your family yet?"

"I'm waiting till I go back down to Maryland so I can talk to them face to face."

Justin nodded. Another question nagged him in the back of his mind but he held back. However, with JC knowing him since he was like, ten, he could tell when Justin tried avoiding asking or saying certain things.

"I haven't told her yet," JC confessed softly. "I'm scared shitless just thinking about what she's going to think of me."

"Lizzie?"

He nodded.

Justin sighed. "Yea, that part's going to be hard alright. I wish you the best of luck with that."

"Gee, thanks a lot J,"

Justin smiled. "I think it's time to put aside your feelings for each other Jace, and tell her what's really going on with all this so you don't keep her dangling on a string. Well, so that she doesn't keep you dangling on the ‘I don't know if I still love you' string. It's only fair to her."

"But what I have to say isn't what I want her to hear."

"That's just the way it is Jace. And you've got to tell her before someone else does."

"Someone like who?" JC questioned. Johnny won't tell her, you guys won't tell her. I warned Allison not to tell her."

"Just trust me JC. Liz is a smart girl. Keep this up and I'm telling you, she'll put A and B together and then you're going to be in deeper trouble than you can imagine."

"So what you're saying, is that I should probably call her and tell her that-"

"Not over the phone you moron!" Justin said obviously. "You don't tell the girl you love that you've knocked up your ex girlfriend over a phone call. If you do that, then you're just looking to get slapped."

JC chuckled. "I know, I know. If I call her, do you think she'll pick up?"

"Maybe," Justin shrugged. "She tried calling you yesterday when you went out like a light, so I would say call her. If she was calling, then that means she wanted to talk."

"Yea, you're right." JC sighed, then turned to look at the younger member. "I  thought I'm supposed to be the mature one."

Justin grinned. "You are, but you're sucking at the job right now so I got to step in."

JC nodded, reaching for his phone by the bedside table. "Thanks J,"

"No problem," Justin said, standing. "See you in the morning man. If you need to talk, we're in the living room."

"Sure thing dude,"

Closing the door behind him, Justin left the room, leaving JC alone on the bed with the phone in his hands.

Just as he were start punching in her number, the phone rang out with her name on the screen, startling him so much he almost hit ‘End Call'.

Swallowing quickly and calming himself quickly, he answered.

"Hello?"

She opened her mouth for a second but nothing came out. She hadn't really expected him to answer. "Hey Jace," she answered quietly, finding her voice.

He let out a big sigh. "Lizzie, hi,"

"Hi,"

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm okay. I uh, tried calling you yesterday but you didn't pick up."

"Oh yea, I fell asleep early," he lied. "And my uh, battery died this morning. I was actually just going to call you but you beat me to it."

"Oh," she was surprised. "How come?"

He shrugged, leaning back against the headboard. "I wanted to talk to you..." he sighed. "I still miss you Lizzie."

She nodded. "I miss you too Josh," she said quietly.

"You do!?" he sat up.

"Of course I do..."

He sighed. "Liz I need to talk to you about something. It's really important."

"What is it?"

"I don't want to tell you over the phone so is there any way we can get together, you know, after you're done in New York?"

"I'm not in New York anymore Jace. I came home."

"Wait, what? When?"

"Tonight..."

"How come?"

"I wasn't happy there." She said simply.

"And you thought you'd be happy here?" he mumbled.

He heard her take a breath.  "Jace, what'd I think we need to talk about us. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to fix what's going on with us. It's not fair for either of us to go on like we are."

"You mean not talking one day, yelling at each other the next and stuck in between love and hate?"

"I don't hate you Joshua," she muttered.

"You don't love me either..."

What the fuck is he doing!? He's encouraging her to keep their relationship together when he's supposed to be keeping the conversation at the point where he needs to understand that she's never going to speak to him after she hears what he really has to say!

"I didn't say that either Josh,"

He sighed. "This is exactly what we can't keep doing Liz!"

"I'm trying not to give up on us Jace," she said softly. "Like you said I should."

"Baby, there's so much I need to talk to you about. You honestly have no idea."

"Then talk to me Josh." She urged. "Tell me what we have to do to get back to where we were before the two of us went ballistic in this relationship. I'm tired Jace, I really am."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"When do you want to talk to me about whatever you have to talk to me about?"

He thought for a moment. Hearing her now, made his dread the time where he'd actually have to confront the situation in front of her, face to face.

"Jace?" she asked.

"Lizzie, I uh, my battery's dying again." He lied. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay,"

"Hey babe?"

"Yes Josh?" she sighed, still not understanding why he kept calling her that.

"Thank you for calling,"

She nodded. "Night Jace,"

Before saying anymore, he ended the call and turned off the phone. She was finally making some progress toward him and little did she know that this was as far as they would probably get.

Ignoring the ache in his chest and the single tear he felt trickle down his cheek, he snatched up a paper and a pen and started writing.

Lizzie,

                I just want to start off saying that you have no idea how much I love you. Baby, I'd walk through hell and back for you, even if at times I didn't express it like I should have. All this started when we had that fight about you going to New York where I was in the wrong, I know, and then I just made it worse. I'll never be able to tell you or prove to you how sorry I am, so I understand if you still don't completely forgive me for any of it. Liz, I still love you, I don't think I'm ever going to stop but I know you're not going to feel the same after I tell you what I needed to talk to you about.

Okay, here goes.

Lizzie, something happened with me and Allison after we slept together that one night. Before I continue, baby I want to let you know that writing this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in a long, long time. I couldn't bear to say this to your face. I couldn't bear to see the tears in your eyes and know in my head, ‘Yea, I did that'. I can't do it Liz. I love you too much than to put you through more than I already have.

What I needed to talk to you about, well, there's no easy or discrete way for me to say it. Alright, uh... Allison's pregnant, Lizzie. I know after reading that sentence, you probably just want nothing to do with me. I get that. I understand that. She called and told me when I was still in New York, the night I saw you but I didn't find out till after. A baby... HA... Who would have thought right? Lizzie, as much as I wanted to talk to you about this in person, I just couldn't. I don't think I could have been able to say what I'm writing here in front of you. Pathetic? Yea, I probably am.

No one besides the guys, Johnny and you know what's going on Lizzie. I'm trying to keep this away from the media. But on a more personal note, I'm sorry Liz. I really am. This is one mistake I can't just push away or avoid the rest of my life so I can't do anything but stick with it. Allison and I aren't a couple if that's what you're thinking, but I guess that as of right now you and I aren't much of a couple either.

I miss you Lizzie, and you got to know how much you mean to me. If I could go back a reverse everything that's been going on, I so would. I'd redo everything in a heartbeat.

There's nothing more I can say to you Liz besides the same thing I've been saying every time you and I have had a conversation. I'm sorry Lizzie, for all of this. I don't want you to be a part of any of this so I won't say any more.

 I love you Lizzie, just know that. Thank you for all that you've been through with me and if you want to kill me right about now, I wouldn't blame you. Through all of this darkness, the lawsuit, the record, you moving away and then Allison getting pregnant, our relationship has probably been the brightest thing in my life and as much as I don't want to see our chances fade to black, I love you enough not to let you stand by me, not that I expect you too.

Bye Lizzie... Thank you and I'm Sorry...

Love always,

                Josh

--

Folding the letter back into its original element, Liz wondered why the tears weren't falling. Why she didn't want to go over to his house and beat the shit out of his with his guitar and tear up all his prized Hard Rock Café menus. She didn't feel the anger. She didn't feel the pain. She just wanted to stay put under her comforter and listen to the thunderstorm going on outside her window. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to smile, but she didn't want to sigh either. Truth be told, she still wanted him in her life. He had gotten the chick she caught him in bed with while they were still together pregnant and yet, she still wanted to feel his arms around her. Why? She wasn't sure. Well actually she did, but in the letter he seemed to pretty much answer to question ‘Should I forgive him' for her. He didn't necessarily give her the chance to call him or write him back so that she could express how she truly felt. And how she truly felt, she'd never understand.

As far as she knew, she still loved him. And the worst part out of all of it, she didn't want to.

JC stared at the window, the radio next to his bed playing above the thunder than rolled on, loud enough to make Chris yelp whenever it sounded. Silently, he looked back at just one hour earlier in the day. After managing to get the car away from the guys without making them suspicious, he said he was going to the CD store to get some new cases. Instead, he went over to Liz's house, envelope in hand. He had taped the letter to her front door and rang the bell. By the time he was sure he heard footsteps, he ran around to the side of the house. (Note that the rain was pouring down by this time and JC was shaking with the fear of being struck by the lightening.)

Now, an hour (and one lie about the store being closed) later, he lay on his side under the blanket in his bed listening to the rain pound down on the roof. He sighed.

Imagining her reading what he had written was enough to bring tears to his eyes. He was well aware that the second he ran that doorbell, it would be the end of his relationship with the one woman he could have seen himself having a future with. He was convinced that she'd never want to speak to him again after this. Seriously, who would?

He was slowly drifting off into sleep but vibrations that rippled through the sheets interrupted him. Felling around under the covers for his phone, he got to it in time before the vibrations stopped. Seeing that there was an incoming call from an unknown number, he ignored it. A minute later, he received a text message from the unknown number.

Joshua

Frowning, he replied. -Who is this?

I don't hate you Josh. I hate what you've done... But I don't hate you.

Now he knew.

-You finished read the letter, didn't you?

Yea, I did.

-I'm sorry Liz. I am. I can't say it enough.

So this is it? You want me to just move on and forget like we ever had something between us?

-I figured it would be what you wanted...

Do you think it is?

-I love you enough not to bring you into this mess I call my life.

And I love you enough to let you know I'm still here for you Josh. I don't want to be, believe me, but I am.

-I love you Liz.

Best of luck with everything Joshua... I hope everything works out for you.

-Thank you Lizzie. I promise you one thing though... I've never loved anyone like I've loved you. I'm still not giving up on us. Even if we never will be...

She sniffled, finally feeling the tears. Bye Josh...

And with that, they ended the conversation. But what's worse, is that they probably ended the best thing either of them had ever had in their lives.