I love my grandma, Sam, and the kids, but when two of them are in the kitchen alone and talking quietly, it makes me nervous. All I can hear is when they laugh. I guess you could say I'm pretending to focus on the movie the kids are watching. After tonight we're staying at Tyler's because he misses us. A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts and back to the moment. "Hey, guys, I have to answer the door," I tell the kids and they let me up. Demitryus demands that I take him with me to answer the door. I place him on my hip, answer the door and see my mom and dad. "Mom! Dad!" I yell, surprised they came.
"Joshua, we're so happy that you made it safely. Who's this little guy?"
"I'm Demitryus," he answers fluidly. 
"Come in," I reply, stepping back and pulling the door open a little more to let them in.
"So, is this Sam's baby?"
"Youngest of three, yes. Mikal and Aaliyah, come meet my mom. Her name is Karen. That tall guy over there is my dad, Roy."

"Hi, Roy. Hi, Karen," they warmly greet my parents and I'm proud they are behaving. 
I put Demitryus down and tell them to watch Wall-E. Sam had brought nine of their favorite DVDs with her to occupy them, Wall-E is Mikal's favorite for some unexplainable reason. Demitryus loves the Tigger Movie, Pooh's Heffalump Movie and Finding Nemo. Mikal loves Wall-E, Cars and Monsters, Inc. Aaliyah loves Princess & The Frog, Sleeping Beauty and the Shrek movies. Aaliyah picked the Shrek movie where Fiona and Shrek have the babies because she likes who the princesses team up and help win against the evil godmother or her son. It's kind of funny.

"Where is she?"
"Sam's in the kitchen with grandma, dad."
"Oh, no. You must be going out of your mind wondering what they're talking about."
"Kind of." 
"Don't worry about it, unless-"
"Josh?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Could you please go get the things for cheesecake? I think this is enough," she requests.
I cock an eyebrow, completely interested in her reasoning. "Why?"
"Please," she walks right up to me, into my arms as she pleads with her beautiful sea blue eyes as she kisses me, "could you get those things, Josh?" she requests, whining just a little bit. She knows how to get her way.

"Mikal, come on. We have to get mommy the cheese cake stuff. You know what to look for," I say without moving, knowing he's got to get his shoes on. I kiss her near her ear, causing her to quietly hiss in my ear as I whisper in hers, "You owe me."
"Ok, babe," she says, pushing me away and smiling. She said yes, vacation doesn't suck! I know we just made love two nights ago, but come on! I'm addicted to her, everything about her. I've seen her through some very hard and trying times, now I'm hoping that I can keep her around for good times. She needs to learn that not all guys are what she dealt with in her past. I'm the exact opposite of them, but she's still so guarded. 
"I'm ready, Josh," Mikal informs me.
"Let's go. I'll read the list and you point out the items. Deal?"
"Deal," he confirms, shaking my hand with a smile on his face. We go to the store and grab everything she put on the list. 

Why would she put the list on an envelope? I open it and find she put money for it all inside and I shake my head, deciding to give her back the envelope with the money still inside. "I don't think mommy understands that I like to help her sometimes, do you have an idea why?"
"Because our dad never helped her and made everything harder than it had to be, mommy's used to it,"
Mikal tells me, shrugging, as we wait to check out.
Hey, for a 9 year old, he's damn smart. Maybe not book smart, but he's smart in other ways. I love her kids as if they were already mine. "Hi, Joshua."

I look up and smile at my little cousin, Ashleigh. "Hey. How are Aunt Chelsea and Uncle Jeff?"
"Good. Your son?"
"My girlfriend's oldest." I know it's corny, but I have a picture of her and the kids in my wallet. I show her and she coos over the kids. 
"They are adorable! She looks like she's a sweet girl. Are you going to be at grandma's when I get out?"
"Most likely. When do you get out?"
"In an hour."
"We're staying until Tyler heads home. She said she didn't want to impose on grandma."
"What's their names?"
"This is Mikal, the little girl's name is Aaliyah, the little guy is Demitryus and this is Sam," I inform her as I point to each one of them, beaming like a fool.
"You love her?"
"Of course."

She looks at me wearily. "Josh, I can see you love her kids, but do you really love her?"
"I'm not sure yet."
"At least that was an honest answer. $37.91."
Cheesecakes aren't cheap, but at least they're going to be enjoyed. I swipe my card to pay. Sam was right-they're delicious, sweet and addicting. Her mom made them and I found out that once you have a piece of one, you'll sneak a piece of the others just to compare them. I had a strawberry piece after we finished eating lunch at her mom's, a blueberry one after the kids got put in bed (before a shower), an apple piece in the middle of the night, a raspberry one while she was getting our food from the coffee shop near her mom's and  a cherry one while she was taking her shower. The apple is good, yet unique. She said the reason she first made it 5 years ago is because her cousin, Kari, is allergic to berries and cherries and she had made it just for them to share. Kari had let the kids have some and every year that's what they ask for other than strawberry and blueberry cheesecakes. "See you later, Ash."
"Bye, Ashleigh." Mikal is a very cautious kid, even though he has good manners.
"Bye, guys. See you at grandma's."

We leave the store and I explain to him how I know her because his face had a cross look on it as we headed for the car. "She's your cousin?"
"Yes, her dad and my dad are cousins."
"Oh, like Ma and Ellen are cousins and it makes me Kari's cousin?"
"Exactly like that. Thanks for being good."
"I know if I behave, I don't get in trouble and everything is more fun." I said he's smart.

My cell phone plays my favorite song, meaning it's Sam calling. "Hello, beautiful."
"Hey, babe. You alive in that great big store or did all the choices frighten you?"
We both laugh. "I'm alive, baby girl. Loading the car up now. Be there shortly."
"Love you."
"Love you too." We hang up and Mikal starts asking about what my grandma makes for Thanksgiving every year since I was a child. I tell him everything I could think of, remembering how the smells mix and my stomach growls. "It's probably almost time to eat, Bubbie."
"I can't wait to eat all that food."
I smile, looking at him through the rearview mirror. "Me either, me either."
It's a ten minute ride, a quiet one because he's looking at everything we pass and most likely committing it to memory. I know I did for a while. I'm glad I have my parents and my family is something I'm endlessly thankful for. I pull in the driveway and Mikal unbuckles and we bring the few bags in. "Mommy! We got everything. Josh has the list."

She comes over for a hug and a kiss from Mikal. She puts the bags he had on the counter, waiting for me to get close and smiles. I place the bags I have on the counter next to the others, take her in my arms and accept the kiss she places kisses on my lips. "Thank you for running to the store, boys," she directs at Mikal and I.
I smile at her and rub her lower back for a second. She tells me she loves when I rub her back. "You're welcome, beautiful mystery."
"Your brother has been hitting on me since he got here about twenty minutes ago," she quickly informs me.
"He's harmless," I purr.
"Demitryus told him that he'd beat him up if he didn't quit."
"Aaliyah would take him on first."
"You know the kids."
"Yes, I think I do."
"Joshua, you're distracting our baking chef," my grandma scolds. 

She has a title in the kitchen already? Grandma really likes her, that's good. The house smells like chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, apple pie, cherry pie, pumpkin pie, turkey, stuffing, gravy, and sweetened squash. I realize this as I sit down next to Tyler. "Been hitting on her?" I look at him.
"She has nerves of steel and seems to be in love with you."
"She has been through hell. I plan on being with her for a long time."
"She's very patient too."
"Three kids and me for a boyfriend will do that."
He rolls his eyes, chuckling with my dad. "You for a brother requires a great deal of patience."
"Josh, she really cares about who you are, but you as a son calls for a great deal of patience."
"You said I was an easy kid."
"Unless you were being stubborn, then you were a pain to deal with."
I shrug. "Every kid is stubborn."
"Josh, stop trying to fool yourself. Not every child is as stubborn as you could be."

I shake my head with a smile on my face and realize we're watching Finding Nemo. Dory can be so irritating. I get up to get a drink and stop at the doorway to watch my grandma, my mom and my girlfriend talk, cook and laugh. Sam's in between them and I'm going to get my drink ready before I sneak up behind her for a hug and kiss. I grab a juice box for each of the kids and a glass of juice for me. I slowly walk behind her, pluck her from between my mom and grandma, wrap my arms around her, bury my face in her hair and wait for her to turn around. "Josh, let me finish and I will come to sit with you and the rest of the family."
"A kiss will help me wait."
She turns around and gives me a quick kiss. "Now, out of the kitchen." I pout, trying to get a few more kisses and get denied with a poke to my side. "Out." 
I grab the juice boxes and my glass before going back to the living room. I put the straws into their juices and give it to them. "Where's my juice box?" Tyler jokes.
"You're big enough to enter that kitchen and get on your own because you're a big boy," I tease him.
"But I don't want to get up," he playfully whines.
"What are you, 'Ler? Five? I expect that from Demitryus or Aaliyah. Get off your butt and get it yourself. This is not a full serve kitchen," Sam quips. She has really good hearing that picks up bickering, fighting and awkward silences the best. It still creeps me out sometimes, but I guess it's something you learn when you deal with kids almost your whole life. Jacob and Kari are like her brother and sister, she helped raise them. Her niece and nephews (Zack, Ty'esha and Sean) lived with her and her mom for three years. Zack's 18, Ty'esha is 15 and Sean will be 12 next month. She's been in their lives since Zack was 2, might have been in and out since 03 or 04 and she tries her hardest to keep in touch. She says Sasha is the sister she's always wanted, but never had until her half brother married her. They may be divorced, but Sasha will always be her sister and her mom's other daughter. All of Sasha's kids are her nieces and nephews, she loves them endlessly (her phrasing). "Tyler, can you get that?"
"Why?"
"You're younger than me."
"Your girlfriend is younger than me."
"Tyler! Stop being a punk and please get the door," Sam interjects, essentially ending our argument. Tyler mutters something about not understanding why he has to listen to her. The rest of the family has made it and dinner should-

"Dinner! Children first, then teens, then adults," mom announces. The kids are fed and settled in at the living room coffee table before making our own plates and enjoying the smorgasbord of holiday food. I could barely focus on one conversation and tried to carry on five at the same time. Meanwhile, I listened Sam carry on more than seven different conversations. I know they were about the kids, how we met, how good I am to her, about herself, her family and a few others. Those women can talk their heads off and they talk almost too fast sometimes. She said something funny and I missed it. 

"Josh, what do like about her?" my cousin, Ashleigh, inquired.
"Her personality, smile, patience, her positive out look, and how she sees me for who I am, not what the media perceives me to be."
Ashleigh smiles at me before turning to Sam again. I hear her giggle and say, "He's so sweet, he helps, he's considerate, he's supportive, and makes time to talk about everything. He's the kind of man that I've dreamed of since I was little." I smile to myself.
She's sitting next to me and puts her hand in mine on the table. I lean over and kiss her cheek, making all the kids in the living room say 'ew'. We both laugh at that because Tyler was in on it. "Tyler, stop provoking the kids."
"I didn't provoke them, I simply encouraged them to voice their opinions on kissing."
"Whatever, Tyler. You're such a kid sometimes," I playfully argue.
"No arguing, please?" she asks.
"Ok, no arguing."

We finish eating and put away the left overs. Tyler, Heather and I are given dish duty because that's grandma's rule. "Josh, do you think you're going to be with her for more than a couple years?"
"I'm hoping it's longer than that, Heather."
"You like her that much?"
"Yes. I hope she and I stay together for a long time."
"Would you marry her?"
"I don't know. That hasn't come up yet and I don't think it will any time soon. She got out of a bad relationship recently."
"She said that you've been there for her and those kids for the past 8 months, helping as much as she'd let you."
"Yeah, I do help her as much as I can."
"What does she ask for all the time?"
"My time, to talk and to be supportive."
"What kind of supportive?"
"Morally, emotionally supportive."
"She doesn't ask for anything to do with money?"
"No, she always tries to pay for her and the kids' way with her money."
"She says she got a few of her songs out there and waiting for someone to call her."
"Yes, she talked to Tyrese, the Carter brothers, Jive, RCA, and a few other record labels. She's waiting for a call saying an artist wants to use her song."
"She seems pretty calm about it."
"She's actually nervous and anxious."
"So you talk about it?"
"Every few days we touch on the subject and I reassure her that someone will like it, want to record it."
"When was the last time you talked about it?"
"Last weekend."
"It's Wednesday already."
"She brings it up. She has the lead for that subject."
"Oh, so when it bugs her, she brings it up?"
"Yes." My cell phone rings and my sister nods, letting me answer it. I go on the back porch to take the call. "Hello?"
"JC, how are you doing?"
"Good. I'm sorry to seem rude, but I'm in Maryland with my family."
"Is it ok to speak to your girlfriend or is she not with you?"
"She and the kids are with me. What's up, Tyrese?"
"Man, I read her song 'Lovingly' and I want to use it."
"Wow, for real?"
"Ok, Shad wants to use it and me to be guest vocals."
"That-that's great give me a minute."
"I'll hold on."
I mute the phone and find my girlfriend. "Josh, you look frantic."
"I have a phone call for you and it's important."
"What?"
"Songs."
"Mama, would you watch the kids for a few minutes?"
"Go on." I love my mom, love her more than words could express.

We go onto the porch and I unmute the call. "Tyrese, are you still there?"
"I'm still here, man. So what's the verdict?"
"Let me put you on speaker." I put him on speaker. "Sam can hear you now."
"Sam, could Shad and I use 'Lovingly'?"
"We can work out the finer details after JC and I get back to LA, but yes. I would like to hear what it would sound like, even if it's just the music. I would also like to hear the raw version."
"Definitely."
"Who's Shad?"
"Bow Wow."
"Oh, that's cool. Thanks for calling and thank you for wanting to use my song. It means so much to me."
"I hope to see more of your songs, lyrics and poems floating around."
"Thank you. I'll have JC call you when we get back on Sunday. We can set up a time to meet then."
"Sounds great. Talk to you Sunday."

We hang up and she shrieks, jumping at me for a hug. I smile at her excitement and giddy reaction. I hug her back and she gives me an emotional and happy kiss. She keeps thanking me. "I told you someone would like them."
"Now it just feels so surreal, but it's true and you were right. Thank you. I love you." She kisses me again. The rest of the night is a blur. I know we grabbed our things and made it to Tyler's for the simple fact that we sat on the couch and told him.