"What's up?" Nick asks, concern dripping from his voice.
"I'm scared. Every time I get comfortable with how we are, he has to bring serious shit up," I tell my cousin.
"Like what?"
"First he brought up the VMAs, then dating, now he brings up moving in together!"
"Relax, Sam. He loves you, I see it. He probably doesn't want to risk losing you," he tells me, fiddling with the GPS.
I grab the device and quickly configure it. "I know, but it scares me."
"Why?"
"I don't want to repeat the past."
"Girl, the two of you practically live together as is. You have made each other so happy over the past eight months," he reminds me as he pulls out of the driveway. "His universe consists of you and the kids."
"I know."
"He's said to various people that he'd dismantle his basement studio if it's what you wanted," he informs me.
"That would make him and I miserable, we need music to survive."
"I know, but the whole reason behind him saying it was to express that he'd do anything to keep you around and be happy."
"All he has to do is everything he does now."
"Then tell him."
"You make it sound so fucking easy."
"It is, trust me."
"I fucking hate you sometimes."
"Anything else on your mind?" He ignores my comment.
"Going to college."
"If it makes you happy, do it."
"Is that your motto or something?"
"Pretty much."
"My body is still haywire," I mutter under my breath, hoping he wouldn't hear me.
"What?" he looks at me while we wait for the light to change to green.
"Use your imagination."
"I swear I just heard you say your body is 'still haywire'."
"Yeah, it's what I said. Now think like the pervert that you are and why do you think I said that?"
"Did you guys screw?"
"Yup, hit that heightened climax too," I admit, trying to gross him out.
He shakes his head as the light changes to green. "Girl, you and JC were made to be together," he says as we pull into the parking lot at Chuck E. Cheese, laughing.
"I know."
"The love you guys have is remarkable and for what you're going through, he's done everything he could to help you, stood by you, and has been your everything."
"I know and I appreciate every bit of it, love him for it all, and I want it to be a forever kind of relationship," I confess, climbing out of the car.
"It won't be easy, but it's possible. Lauren and I have been together for over two years and we've hid our relationship until earlier this year. It'll be easier for JC, he's not in the spotlight like he was almost a decade ago."
"It's been that long since the guys have disbanded?" I used to be a hardcore BSB and *NSYNC fanatic, knew everything down to the smallest detail.
"Yeah, it has. No changing the subject, girl. He loves you and the kids, he never thought he could love a woman with kids and you proved him otherwise."
I raise an eyebrow. "He said that?"
"Yes, he said you've proved him wrong on so many occasions. He loves you, loves the kids, loves the relationship, loves your family, loves everything that has any relation to you," Nick tells me, counting in his head and on his fingers. He pulls me aside at the doors to the kid-orientated restaurant. "You alright until we can talk alone later?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Come on, let's go be kids for a couple hours." His arm drops around my shoulders and he side hugs me.
~~~~~
It's pretty entertaining to watch four 'grown' men play arcade games and bicker over who's the best. "Whooo!" I see Josh pumping his fists in the air, smiling. He runs over to me, picks me up and kisses me.
"You're such a kid sometimes," I tell him.
"You love me," he states, fully knowing the truth.
"That I do, Josh," I agree.
"Dhíth orm ort i mo shaol, Joshua," I inform him, smiling.
"Will you tell me what it means?"
I whisper the English translation in his ear, kissing him as I stand up. "Ok?"
His smile reaches his eyes and kisses me. "Yes, it's how I feel about you."
"Go be a kid with your best friend, brother and my cousin," I tell him, playfully smacking his ass.
"Oh, really?"
I point to the arcade games and hand him tokens. "Now go!" I enforce, laughing a little. He kisses me again before running off to play with Justin, Tyler, and Nick. I sit at the table covered in tickets with Lauren. "I swear, they make me wonder sometimes."
"Sometimes?" she asks, looking at the four guys. She turns her attention to me and smiles. "Honey, I wonder about Nick all the time. Especially when his siblings or bandmates or Brent are around!"
I giggle and Nick comes over. "I wish-"
I shove tokens in his hands and point to the games. "Beat it, we're having a girl talk." He glares at me, I make a funny face and he shrugs. He goes to play some games. "I know what you mean. Josh is like a kid when he gets around his friends or brother, now for example," I admit, pointing out Josh. He's playing a game with Justin, his full concentration on it. His tongue is peeking out of the corner of his mouth, he has a power stance going on and he's pushing the joystick in all directions as he slams on the buttons rapidly.
"He's just as bad as Nick."
"It's worse when he is producing."
Lauren and I trade recording/producing/songwriting horror stories about our boyfriends. "Oh my God! That's horrible! He did that?"
"Yes, and he stayed up until the kids went to bed. I woke him up with some special treatment," I hint.
"Girl, you woke him up after he'd been up for two and a half days straight for some love?"
"Yeah. I had written the song that Tyrese and Shad are recording the night before. I'm so excited!"
"Wasn't that the song you had me look at and help you start on?"
"Yes. Thank you." We hug over the table. She refused to let me put her name on it.
"The interview he has in two weeks wants you involved," she informs me.
"What do you mean by involved?"
"They want you at the photo shoot and to answer some questions," she specifies, taking a bite of pizza.
"I'll have to talk to Josh and Nick. What's this interview about?"
"His new single and the upcoming tour."
"For?"
"His album."
"Still lost in the dark and dank woods, 'Ren."
"The one he released a year and a half ago."
"Oh, that one."
"His new ventures into acting, songwriting and finding you and the kids, too."
"We can talk about it." I'm going to have to deck him.
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