I get a text from a number I don't recognize right away. 'It's Lance. What's on your mind, Sam?'
I read it and smile. 'Hi James. Can you do me a favor and keep what I say about Josh (JC) between us till I say otherwise?'
'Of course. He said it was something good.'
'I really like him more than he thinks'
'How much?'
'I've had a crush on him for 20 years and well, we made love. It felt right. I think I'd give him the chance if the circumstances were right. I love being a friend to him and the sex is great, but y'know'
'I know what you mean. So if you were single, you would be with him?'
'Who said I wasn't?'
'He told me. I don't blame you. I heard about the attitude the guy you're with has towards you. He only told me. I can keep secrets.'
'Ok. Well the warden has no respect. I got home and my place was trashed. Here are the pics.' I send the pics to Lance.
'Wtf?!?!! I already don't like him and I haven't even heard this guy's voice. Leave. Take the kids. That's bullshit.'
I take pics of what I've done since being home and send him those. 'That is the plan. Need income and my own place first. See what I got done in an hour and the kids are in bed.'
'When does he leave?'
'He leaves in about 45 minutes for work and Josh is coming over'
'Show him the pix you sent me'
'I planned on doing that. Back to the better subject-Josh. I really wish I could get involved with him but not right away'
'He said something about fooling around with you and being friends'
'Yeah, that's the plan right now'
'Let me see if I have the story straight. You're married with three kids, unhappy with your husband, got lost looking for JC's neighbor's house, he helped you out by giving you the job of cleaning his already clean house, you hung out with him all day, spent part of it with Justin and Nick C., slept with JC, have had a crush on him for 20 years, and think you like him more than you thought you could. Is that right?'
'Who told you about the whole job thing? Probably JC.'
'Yes. Is it all the right info?'
'Yeah. But I don't wanna scare him away by telling him this'
'Why do you like him?'
'Personality, smile, intelligence, patience, and his eyes. Him being OMG good in bed is a major bonus and I really enjoy his company. He just seems to calm me right down and makes me feel good'
'He has that effect on almost everyone'
'I am usually very spastic and off the wall hyper'
'He calms you down?'
'Yeah. Like laid back chillin calm'
'You didn't freak out or anything when you met him, considering you walked up to him?'
'No, I asked him for directions and started talking to him when he said he'd give me a ride and we just clicked, I think'
'Wow. Good head on your shoulders. He told me how you view us and I have to admit you are one of the more realistic fans I've ever talked to. It makes me appreciate you and want to count you as a good friend'
'Aww thanks. I view you guys like that cuz it's the truth. You busted your butts to get what you have and still work to keep it. You may have invested it or put some in a savings acct. Either way you still make money'
'I see why he likes you the way he does. You're intelligent, confident, realistic, understanding, and I hear you can practically defend yourself. You also don't expect anything but his time and to talk to him.'
'Yeah, that's about it. Now they have NC teaching me to spar and how to use it in self defense'
'So I heard. You shocked NC with some news and skills. He told me himself on his drive home'
'Yeah, it's the truth'
'Well I'm going to let you get the cleaning done, seeing as there's only about half an hour before JC will be over'
'Warden leaves in half. Josh won't be here till ten thirtyish. Travel time.'
'Oh yeah, that's true. How's the cleaning going?'
'Sweeping, then mopping the floors. Already did dishes, waiting on washer. Oh! Washer just finished. Throwing them in dryer. Wash table and put dishes away. Picked everything up already. Put the food in fridge 45 minutes ago'
'Just sweeping, mopping, drying clothes, wash your table, putting dishes away and you're going to be done in less than an hour?'
I get a text from JC. 'Hey beautiful. How goes everything?'
'All that's left to do is dry clothes, sweep & mop floors, put dishes away, wash my table while I wait for the dryer to finish. Can you be here for ten thirtyish?'
'Definitely. I was wondering what time to head over'
'Now you know. Can't wait to see you'
'Cant wait to hold you close'
Lance texts me. 'About to call and talk to JC.'
'Promise you won't tell him how I feel, please, James?'
'I promise, cross my heart'
'Talk tomorrow?'
'Maybe. Depends on how crazy the day gets'
'Thanks, James'
'For what?'
'Being a friend and listening. Talking to me'
'Anytime, Sam. You're in the tight knit circle. One of us accepts you, we all do until you do us wrong'
'Then I get dropped like a nuclear potato'
'Wtf? You def have NC & AC's weird sense of humor. You would be pretty much nixed in our books. I don't see that happening though. You've been honest with JC and I about everything'
'I plan keeping it that way. I wanna be honest with you two entirely.'
'When do you plan on telling him how you feel?'
'When the time is right. Idk when right now but there's always a right time and place for everything. I'll know when it happens'
'JC has the same idea.'
'What do you mean?'
'He told me how he feels about you and asked if I could keep from telling you because he wants to tell you when it's the time and place for it'
'Awww. I respect that.'
'You don't want to know?'
'Only if it's good or bad'
'It's very good'
'I can wait then'
'You're respectful'
'I try to be'
'And patient'
'I will text you tomorrow after I make his house sparkle'
'Lol. You'll be the one that spoils him in the ways he needs'
'And wants'
'Alright, talk to you tomorrow. I won't say anything if you keep him happy'
'That will be the easy part. Not telling him how I feel, not so easy'
'Lol. Not giving in to him isn't easy for you either, from what he says'
'True. Keeps me from spilling the emotions, but I express it during it and when we kiss'
'Haha wow. Way to cover it up, girl'
'I know right? Ttyt'
'Tomorrow, suuuuuurrrrreeeee. Lol'
I finish cleaning as Joe leaves for work around 9:45, which gives me enough time to shower and get a clean set of clothes on. I decide to pick my thin teal hoodie and some pj pants. I shower, get dressed, semi dry my hair with a towel and let it air dry while I fold the load of clothes from the dryer. Josh calls as he pulls on my street. "Hey beautiful mystery."
"Hey. Lemme know when you're coming to the door."
"Just pulled onto your street. Be there in two minutes."
"See ya soon then." We hang up. I call my phone from my iPod and leave my cell on the tv stand by Aaliyah's bedroom door. I place it just right so I can hear both rooms. I head downstairs to let JC in. He pulls up as I get to the door. I open it and give him a hug when he gets in.
"Which way?"
"This way." I lead the way to the apt and go in. I grab his hand and pull him inside.
"Nice. I like how clean this is and the set up of it." I hang up my iPod, which hangs up my cell phone.
"Thanks. I spent just over two hours cleaning it. Dishes and all. I finished folding the load of laundry just after you called."
"Lance said something about pictures of it when you got home."
"Yeah. It was bad." I pull out my iPod and show him. "This is what I come home to when I work or job hunt."
JC gets an annoyed look on his face. "You don't deserve that." He shakes his head. "We need to get you and the kids out of this as fast as we can. After the deductions, how much will your checks be? Just ball park it."
I think out loud. "It'll be around $630 before deductions, after they take it all out I'll take home around $475-$500 a week. Why?"
"Would you be ok with putting some of it away?"
"Sure. I told warden that I get about nine fifty an hour. And up to sixty hours."
He nods. "How much do you have left from what you saved before your move?"
"Almost $2500."
"Does he know that?"
"He only knows about a grand of it. I only know the password and screen name to check the acct. I have the debit card. There aren't any locations for our bank close enough for him to walk to."
"Ok. Tomorrow, I want you to pull the $1500 out of the acct with him and put into a savings acct with our names on it, at my bank. It can be done so that both our signatures are needed to get the money. It'll be a high interest savings acct. We can attach a checking acct to it so that you can get your check deposited every week. Please, do this for your kids. I'm not trying to play hero, but they don't deserve this. They deserve better. How long will it take to save up and get everything you need in your name?"
"Three bedroom apt is about $850 a month, my comcast switched will be about $200, I can take his cell off my plan, and electric will probably be the easiest cuz it's in his name here. Apts that cost that much a month will cost about $2700, add the comcast will make it $2900, and just to be safe add another $500 to cover emergency or unknown expenses for the move. That's about $3500 for it all. I have $1500 right now. I can save about $200 a week and say I was only given forty hours for the first three months due to the company policy. Two grand would take me two and a half months to save. Get the place, somehow hide it and slowly move out, little by little and when he's at work. When I come to get the big stuff, that will be the end of it."
"So, three months?"
"Closer to six, to be safe."
"What about divorcing him?"
"I can have him served when I grab the beds and whatever else we will need. I don't know if I can follow through with this."
He holds me close to him. "I'm gonna help you do this for these kids." I start shaking. "Why are shaking?"
"Last time I said I wanted a divorce, he got pissed off and screamed."
"Don't say anything, just do it. Make it final. Don't talk to him about it."
I nod. "How are you gonna help us?"
"I'm gonna help you save the money, move from here to the new place, and by protecting you."
"You sure?"
He nods and hugs me tighter. "I'm more than sure."
We stand there and hug for awhile. "I've added your iPod to my plan. It'll be activated tomorrow by noon. I'm covering that." I nod, kinda numb to what just happened and what was said. My cell phone rings. He picks it up and looks at it. "Tigger?"
"My best friend back home."
"Hello, Tigger."
"You're not Sam."
"You must be her best friend back home."
"Where's Sam? Do not play with me, I have LAPD on speed dial."
"Relax, she's okay. She's just in shock."
"Put me on speaker or put her on."
He slides open my cell. "You're on speaker."
"Sam, you ok?"
I shake my head to clear it. "Yeah. I'm fine, Dawn. That's Josh. He's my friend."
"How do you know him?"
"How does everyone know him?"
"Josh as in JC CHASEZ?"
"Um, Josh, isn't that what everyone calls you?"
He looks like he's thinking. He smiles. "I don't know. Wasn't I on the Mickey Mouse Club in the early nineties before it was cancelled?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"And in *NSYNC?"
"Um, hmmm, I'm pretty sure. Lance, Justin, Joey, Chris, and JC. Yup, best for last."
He laughs. She's getting irritated. "Hahaha, smart asses. How ya been, asshole? How ya doin, girl?"
JC kisses me. "Mmmmm... Oh, he's goo-ooood, mmmmmm, yum. Me? Oh, I'm ok." I smile.
"What? Did you- You didn't!"
"Ooooohhhh, yes, I fuckin did and he liked it. He may have even loved it."
"When the fuck? Who's fucking? Damn, girl!"
"Before we talked just before two. His place. He said that I definitely know what I'm doing." I laugh.
"Is he really?"
"Ooooooohhhhh, girl!!!! Mmmmmm-mmmmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm!!!!!"
"Treat ya good?"
"Wants me for more than just tail."
"Talks to you? Respects you? Enjoys your actual company? Wants to hold you? Has intelligent conversation with you? Wants to be in public with you?"
"Yes, to everything. Is even willing to work out with me. He babies me."
"Thank goodness, a real grown man!!!!!!!!!" I laugh. "Leave the boy and get with the MAN, girl!!!!"
"Soon enough. You're the third person to say it. The second one said he's gonna help us."
"Is the second who answered YOUR cell?"
I laugh. "That'd be him." I look at JC and smile. He kisses me.
"Girl, do this for your babies. Fuck yourself, the babies. JC, thank you for helping her leave the child. Keep the bitch on track!"
I'm shocked and JC laughs between what she directed at him and my face. "I will. Trust me, she's gonna be taken care of by a friend or twenty." He laughs. "She's taken care of very well. She only needs to ask."
"What about school?" I have a lot on my mind.
"Don't worry about that right now. The kids first, then we will worry about that. I plan on helping you out as much as I can."
"Girl, you can do this. Think of the kids." Dawn speaks her mind.
"I am. It's why I'm doing it and agreeing on what JC said before you called and will be doing it tomorrow. Well, starting it tomorrow."
"You planned, put it in action and execute it. Make her do it, JC."
He smiles at me. "I will. She has to do this. She would be so much happier with a real man who knows he can treat her so much better emotionally and provide better for the kids."
"A man who can make her want to be with him, texting or talking to him all the time."
"I can think of one. And he's hoping that she feels something for him."
"Do you know him,JC?" Dawn's interest has been peaked.
"Quite well. He isn't sure of when to tell her."
I take my cell and close it so JC only hears part of the convo. "Girl, he's got me like Rob had you feeling in the beginning."
"You think you might love him?!?!"
"Mmmmm-hhhmmmmmmnnn."
"Treats you good and has been ya dream man since like forever and a day ago! He's just a friend or is there some extras?"
"Extras."
"You said he was gooooo-oooooodddd. You mean that way or still hot looking to you?"
"Both!!!"
"Damn, ride it often."
"You dirty minded."
"Yup. So how long till you leave?"
"Six months before I'm fully out from under his thumb and on my own with the kids."
"Other than help from him."
"Yeah. He's such a good guy."
"He's no guy, he is A MAN!!!!!"
"Well, I'm gonna let you go so I can talk to him."
"Ok. Keep him, keep him, oh and yeah KEEP HIM!!! Love and miss you, Sam. Kiss the kids for me."
"We miss and love you too. Will do."
We hang up and JC pulls me to him by my hips. "So now she knows. She won't tell warden?"
"She don't talk to him."
"You trust her."
"She's like my lil sister."
"Oh. So she's the one I call if I need advice on you?"
"If we ever date, she would be the one calling you about me. And the other way around."
He nods, wraps me in his arms, looks in my eyes, smiles and slowly but passionately kisses me. He pulls away and I accidentally press play on my iPod and it plays Taylor Swift's 'Mine' cuz I left it on the songs list. I blush and reach for it. He grabs my hands and smiles. It plays the chorus. "I like this song. 'fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter' and made her a rebel. Hope one day I can make a certain woman feel like that." I blush and look away from him. "I know you are guarded, but you'll tell him who he is and what you feel. Lance knows and it's not him."
I look at JC. "Not Lance. But he does know who I like and would be more than happy to call mine very well. Guess you could say he pretty much grew up with him. All during the craziest but best years of their lives."
JC smiles and kisses me. "I can think of a couple people."
I sigh and smile. "I wish I wasn't so chicken shit about this." I put my head on JC's chest, looking down.
He holds me close. "I'm scared out of my mind to tell her how I feel about her."
I shake my head. "I can't deal with these emotions right now."
"But we have to at some point and tell the other person how we feel."
"I just can't cuz I think it's way too soon."
He kisses me, pulling me close. Taylor's 'You Belong With Me' plays as we stop kissing. I smile and put my head on his chest. "Let's sit down." He pulls me toward my couch. We sit next to each other, snuggled together. I glance at him and straddle him. He tries to steal a kiss and I move. I look into his eyes as he holds my chin and I look down, closing my eyes. He puts his hand on the side of my face gently and makes me look at him. He gives me a passionate kiss, pulling me close and keeping his hand still. Demitryus whimpers and says no in his sleep. I signal for JC to wait and I check on Demitryus. He's still fast asleep. I sit back on JC's lap and give him a kiss. He puts his hand on my face like before while I kiss him. As I pull away, he pulls me back with his hand and kisses me passionately. He has his other hand on my hip. He leans forward causing me to lean back. He turns sideways on the couch as we do this, laying me on the couch with him between my legs. He keeps kissing me as he puts my hands above my head, interlocks his fingers with mine, pins them and starts to grind me. I start doing body waves subconsciously. He puts my hands one on top of the other so he can hold my hip and feel the body waves I'm doing. He gives me small kisses as he stops and sits back. He shakes his head. "I would never forgive myself if you wanted none of this right now."
"Viens m'enculer." I grab his shirt and pull him close to me and kiss him with enough passion to convince him I want him just as bad as he wants me. Not to mention, to cover up my emotions. We kiss and he starts to grind me as I start to do body waves again. I sit up as I kiss him, pushing him so he sits against the back of the couch. He has one hand on my face and one on my hip. I straddle him again. I get up and pull him to my bedroom and have him sit on the bed. I straddle him again and kiss him. He starts to strip me and I unbutton his jeans. In one swift motion he picks me up, gets up, turns around, pulls my pj pants and underwear off cuz I try to move away as he lays me on the bed and kicks his shoes off as we kiss. He starts grinding me and in response, I do body waves. He moves one hand to the side of my face to hold it and the other to my hip to feel my body waves. He strips his jeans off and we start making love. I roll and push him so I'm on top. He lets me do that for awhile before sitting up and kisses me again. I'm on top, facing him as we kiss and he's sitting up, holding me as close as he possibly can. I get close and I moan. He holds tight to me as we both get off. We can't stop kissing or seem to let go of each other. His cell has been ringing for awhile. I lay on my back and lean my head back to check the clock on my nightstand. It's only one thirty in the morning. I know we started kissing around eleven and came in here soon after. Maybe two hours, maybe a little more. His cell rings again and he jumps for it, even though it's turned down low, not wanting to wake the kids. He lays back down to cuddle me as he answers it. "It had better be important. No, it's one in the morning, man. I'm spending time with someone right now. I wish but not quite. I'm about to have some one on one time with her." He sits up, laughing and I roll onto my side. "Yeah and I don't care how long we've known each other, bro. Nah, she's patient but I promised her one on one time. If I was going to be up all night talking to you, I would've stayed home. Bro, just trust me, I wish it was like that. She's all I want... Heh, something like that. Yeah, I do. It's not the right time, but when it is she will know. I just hope she feels something for me too. Sure, I'll call you tomorrow. Or later today. Probably around eight in the morning. Yeah, bye." He hangs up and cuddles me. "I'm sorry about that. That was one of my childhood friends. Been awhile since we spoke."
I turn over as he lays on his back again. "Friends matter and we both have friends besides each other."
"Just hypothetically, if you were single, would you consider being my woman?"
I put my head on his chest. "There would be a possibility but I can't answer that, even hypothetically, very honestly right now. My head isn't clear."
"You did." He kisses me again and puts his arm around me. He interlocks his fingers with mine, using his other hand. "I love talking to you. I love cuddling you. I love holding you. I love being close like this. I love when we kiss." I'm almost asleep. "Sam, do you feel something for me?"
"Mmmmm-hmmmm." I snuggle him.
"Did you fall asleep on me?"
"Mmmmmm."
"I wish I could just open up and tell you how I feel about you."

The alarm on my cell goes off at 4:30 in the morning.
I yawn, wipe my eyes and look up to see who I had fallen asleep cuddling. I remember hearing JC say something about telling me how he feels about me and opening up. I shake my head.
He wakes up right after I shake my head. "Morning."
"Mmmm. Morning. You said something about how you wish you could tell me how you feel about me and opening up?"

I sit up with just my hoodie on. I sit on my legs and look at him. He smiles. "I thought you were asleep."
"Not enough to where I wouldn't have heard that. But it's probably not the right time."
"Not yet."
"Let's get in the shower."
"You go first. I'll take mine after you get out, in case one of the kids wake up."
"Ok? You mad?"
He shakes his head, rolls on his side, and puts his head on my legs, he lays on his back so he can see my face. "Why would I be mad? I just woke up next to my beautiful mystery."

"Oh." I run my fingers through his hair and he looks at me. I smile at him and he sits up. We share a quick kiss. He smiles at me. I get up, grab my clothes, and go take my shower. I get out, get dressed, and dry my hair with a towel. I go in the living room to see JC sitting on my couch, half asleep and facing the bathroom. "Ray of sunshine, aren't ya?" I'm still tired too.
"How can you just jump outta bed in the morning?"
"It's either jump outta bed early or not have time to get the kids and their things ready for school everyday and make sure they get to school."
"Even though you're still tired?"

"I don't see the warden here to do it. He won't be here till it's ten minutes before their bus comes. It's a five minute walk away but we take our time and talk. Takes fifteen minutes to get there. There's also three of em. Kindergarten, second and fourth grades. Demitryus isn't used to all the hills, Aaliyah and Mikal are still getting used to the routine and new school." I give him a kiss. "You should hop in the shower, Josh. I wake Demitryus up in half an hour. He has to shower, get dressed, I check over all their homework, and organize their bags. C'mon, move ya butt."
He sticks his tongue out at me. I throw the towel I was drying my hair with at him. "I'm moving." He gives me a kiss as he passes me. I hear the shower start.
My cell rings. It's Dawn. "Hey, girl."
"You're crooning."
"Last night was a good night after we hung up."
"With JC?"
"Mmmmmmmaaaaayyyybbbbeeeeeeee."
"Yeah. So are you actually walking away with the kids?"
"With help and the support I have now, I can."
"Will you?"
"Josh is right, this isn't fair to the kids."
"Stick to it."
"I know. Why are you up at seven in the morning?"
"It's eight. Couldn't sleep anymore."
I look at the microwave clock. 5:15. "Ok smarty pants."

"Cool kid."
"Noodle noggin."
"Booger butt."
"Killer Cujo."
"Damnit! You always get me with that one."
"I've had more time and practice to do that. So how'd you sleep last night?"
"As good as usual. Called you at eight, cuddled Rob just after and fell asleep by nine, nine thirty. What about you?"
"We talked, made out and did our thing. A childhood friend of his kept calling his cell the whole time. A few minutes after we finished, they called again, while we were cuddling. He answered by the fifth ring. After I let him move, he bolted to answer it so it wouldn't wake up the kids."
"Awww, that's sweet of him."
"Yeah, it was turned down low. And when he hung up and we cuddled again, I was falling asleep on him and he said something about telling me how he feels about me and opening up."
"Girl, stay focused."
I walk into my room and close the door. "Lil D, I think I might love him. For real. He's like the Mac to my cheese."
"Peanut butter to your fluff." She giggles.

I smile. "It's like he's what I need and want, but just outta my reach. He's what I need in a MAN. He's always easy to reach and answers ASAP. He is supportive and is willing to back me up. I don't know when to tell him or how."
"Sam, you'll know when the time is right. You're good at this kinda thing. Have you told anyone else?"
"James."
"Your brother?"
"No, as in Lance."
"Oh. Did he tell him or is it like a secret?"
"Secret. He also knows how Josh feels about me. He said that it's a good thing, so I'm gonna wait for Josh to tell me when he's ready."
"You sure he won't? They've known each other almost forever."

"True, but I wanna see if I can trust James. Josh was still clueless when he got here last night. The two of em talked after I texted back and forth with them both. Josh told him how he feels about me, James didn't tell me anything except that it's a good thing."
"Well, ride it out and see where it goes."
"Speaking of riding."
"You didn't! Was it good? He like it?"
"He wanted to cuddle right after and kissed me almost the whole time and had both hands on me. One holding the side of my face gently and one holding my hip."
"He held you close?"
"The WHOLE time!"
She giggles. "You just can't stop talking about how GOOD he is. To you, with you. Hope he really likes you the same way you like him."
"You ain't the only one. James is the only one who knows the answer to that right now." I sigh. "What time is it love?"
"It's eight forty here."
"I gotta let you go. Gotta get Lil Man up and Josh out the door. Probably have him meet me at the kids' stop or around the corner from there to start this off right."
"Call me later or text me any time."
"Will do. Love and miss ya."
"Love and miss the four of you. Hope to hear good news soon."
"Ok. Bye."
"Bye."

I hang up, lean against my bedroom door for a minute or two and then start my day. Josh is already pulling his shirt on in the living room. I think of the night before right away and smile. "You're still smiling. I enjoyed every second of yesterday with you. Texting you and the whole time we spent together."
"Me too. Would you mind meeting me near the bus stop or something?"
He looks at the bus stop info on the table by the couch for a second. "I know where that is and I will be there about five minutes after the bus. Need to fill the tank."
"Ok. Thanks for last night. We'll plan today out more when we meet up." We kiss.
He nods and smiles. "Ok. I'm proud of you for doing this." I nod and take a deep breath as he heads for the door. "I'll see you in a little bit." I walk over to the door and he gives me a kiss as he leaves.

I lean on the door and text Dawn and James. 'If he's not the one, I'm done trying to find the one for me'. It's quarter till six, I get Demitryus up and grab his clothes. I help him wash up, grab something to hold him over till he gets to school, and sit him at the table to eat his oatmeal while I get Aaliyah in the shower. She washes up, gets dressed and has oatmeal as well. I check the time. 6:27, got an hour and a half before they have to be at their bus stop. Still have to do a homework check and get Mikal up and ready. I shake Mikal awake. "Mikal, get up." He rolls over and goes back to sleep. I pick him up and carry him into the bathroom. He fights me. I get in the bathroom and kick the door shut. I strip him, start the shower and put him in the water.

"Ma, ahhhh! Stop I'm awake."
"Wash up. You have twenty minutes. I am setting the timer and the door will stay open. Clothes are on the shelf. Move ya butt, now." He starts washing up and pulls the shower curtain shut. I walk out and set the timer by the tv. I set it for fifteen minutes. "Homework check." Demitryus and Aaliyah grab the bookbags and lay out all their homework. I check their work, youngest to oldest. Demitryus' homework is good. Aaliyah's is next, I find three math problems with wrong answers. "Aaliyah, come here baby." She comes over and I help her find the right answers. As I finish this with her, I make Mikal's oatmeal. "Demitryus, check how much time is left."
He looks at the timer. "It's on five."
"Five minutes. Thanks, Chubbs." I look over Mikal's homework. It's fine. "Put the homework away please. Thank you." They put it away. I walk over to the timer. He has less than a minute. "One minute or less." He's getting dressed already. He has his underwear, pants, socks, and his shirt on. I turn the timer off and he gets his shoes on. He sits down and eats his oatmeal. They all want seconds. I let them have it, just in case the bus is late. They finish eating around 7:20. Twenty minutes before we leave. I set the timer. "We have 15 minutes before we have to leave." I turn the timer to the wall. They sit down and color, read a book or work on personal projects (legos or puzzles). I do the morning dishes and get my waters and juices ready to go. I clean the table and make Mikal's bed. "Last five minutes. Get your clothes in the washer." They do as I ask and I get my clothes from yesterday and last night and put them in the washer with the exception of my sweater. I put that in my bag. I pack my waters and an extra couple sets of clothes. I put my bedding in the washer, put in the softener and detergent and start it. I write a quick note for the warden. 'Started washer. When it's done, put clothes in dryer. I will fold and put away all clothes, towels and bedding when I get home. Do dinner dishes and try to keep house as is.' I take pictures as we get ready to go. The timer goes off. I press the button to make it stop and we head out. I check if I have my iPod, cell, wallet, keys, bag and headphones. I do and it's all in the right pockets. We leave and I lock the door. We head to the bus stop. We talk about happiness and what we would make each of us happy. "What would you say is happiness and what makes you happy?"

Aaliyah has the first say. "Happiness is friends, family and no fighting. If daddy would help you more, pay attention to all of us and cared more. Or you left daddy and had a boyfriend that would treat us all better."
I nod. "Ok. Mikal?"
"More books. If dad would stop playing video games or you got a boyfriend who spends time with us as a family."
"Fair. Chubbs?"
"If daddy wasn't such a butthead to you or you had a boyfriend that treats you better than daddy. For us to be a happy family, even if you have to leave daddy."
"You guys don't seem to like your dad very much lately."
Mikal and Aaliyah roll their eyes. Mikal sighs. "Ma, no matter what you do for us, dad doesn't appreciate you enough. He doesn't care. We need someone who does. Someone who loves us for us. It's obviously not dad. I'm heading into fifth grade, Aaliyah will be going into third and Chubbs is gonna be in the first grade this fall. Dad still thinks I'm in frickin third grade!" The other two nod in agreement.
"Ok. I understand. Is that why you're ok with the idea of me not being with your dad and seeing someone else?" They all say yes. We get to the bus stop. We get there as the bus pulls up. "Be good at school. Your dad will be picking you up from the bus stop. I will be home around six or seven. Help him clean up tonight. You guys did awesome last night. Thanks."

They give me hugs and get on the bus. JC calls my cell. "Hey."
"How's the morning going, my beautiful mystery?"
"Off without a problem."
"Be at that stop in a minute." I hear the smile in his voice.
I bite my lip. "Mmmm-hmmmm." I see him pull up. I hang up my cell. I get in and as we drive to the bank, I tell him what the kids said.
He looks at me. "Really?"
"Yeah, those words put the final nail in this coffin with warden."
"I hope so." We pull up to the bank and he gives me a kiss. "I'll wait here and call my friend back, your money and you need privacy."
"Ok. I'm gonna see if I can pull two grand and leave five hundred. If I can, I will." He nods and I head in. I talk to the branch manager and get the two grand.
I come out of the bank and nod at JC, holding up two fingers. I hear him talking to his friend. "I know. Man, I just hope everything is that easy and simple. She is. She does. Beautiful, intelligent, supportive, positive, and is amazing. Yeah, even then. Well, no but she's kinda sorta around my age. Three. Shut up, fucker. I swear. No joke. I guess you could say that. Alright, will do. Bye." He hangs up and kisses me. "They gave you two?"

"Yeah. Let's get this done. What other plans do we have?"
"Washer, dryer and baskets, if you want to get them taken care of."
"Sure. Sears for all of it?"
"Ok. You get to pick the washer and dryer. We agree on baskets. I choose the detergent and fabric softener."
"Works for me."
We head to his bank and when we go in a branch manager comes up to us. "JC, how have you been?" She smiles as she talks and the rest of the time.
He smiles at her and I follow his lead. "I'm good. My friend and I would like to open a dual signature, high yielding savings acct and a checking acct in just her name. She plans on transferring some money from the checking to the savings every pay period."
"We'll need two forms of identification from her. Where would you like the statement to be sent?"
I hand her my CA ID and ssc. "Here you are miss."
She looks at them and nods. "Well prepared."
JC smiles and his hand brushes mine. "I would prefer if it were sent to my house as well as my e-mail."
"We can do that." She leads us into her office and pulls all his info up on the computer. "How much is going into the savings?"
I smile at her. "Two thousand." I pull the money out and her jaw drops.
"No offense, sweet heart, but I didn't think you had that much and I was under the impression he was giving you the money."
I shake my head. "It's ok. I've been holding onto it and it wasn't building enough interest at my bank."
"Ok. Understandable. I'm going to waive the $50 checking acct fee to open it. It's what we do for our long term acct holders when they come in with a close friend."
I look at JC, who's sitting back and semi-relaxed. He nods. I look back at the bank manager. "Thank you, miss."
"You're welcome." She enters all the info for the two accts and takes the two grand and puts it in the savings acct. She disappears for a few minutes.
Josh grabs my hand. "You have a talent for flipping from relaxed to very professional. That's attractive."
I smile. "Thanks, Josh."
She comes back in and we sign the papers for the accts. She gives us the slips to confirm the accts are opened. "Debit card?"
I smile. "Not at this moment, miss. No thanks."
She nods and looks at us. "You're all set then. JC has everything-the papers, slips and the starter checks."
I shake her hand and JC nods at her. "Thank you." I get my ID and ssc card back. We leave. As soon as we get outside, I look at him and shake my head. "What?"

"I was nervous the whole time."
"I wanted to see how you would react in a situation like that. The paparazzi can be that nice sometimes."
"I kinda figured as much."
He grabs my hands with his so I face him. He puts my hands over his heart and pulls me closer. "I know how I feel and I might have an idea about how you feel. I don't want to lose you. You mean so much to me. I'm just so scared to tell you. I want to tell you but the words won't come out of my mouth."
"It's not the right time or place for you to. It's also not the right time for me to say how I feel."
He sighs. "Lance is right. You are patient. I hope you and him are right."
"This is how God planned it. He knows everything he planned but we always have the choice to follow his plans or let the devil tempt us into the wrong direction. Temptation is humankind's biggest downfall." I look at him.

He smiles. "Sometimes I don't see the theory behind destiny and temptation."
I wrap my arms around his waist and look at him. "Destiny is God's plan for each of us, temptation is what leads us astray from his plans for us."
"How do you know this?"
"I was raised Catholic and went to a Spanish speaking Pentacostal church for three or four years. During that time, I was bilingual. I've since forgotten most of the Spanish I learned. My gramma taught me about destiny vs temptation and what they were. She started talking about it with me when I was four or five up until the summer I was twelve. She died a few months later. I draw most of my knowledge from things my grandma told me as a kid that didn't make sense to me then. Now it makes all the sense in the world."
"Oh. She must have been very intelligent."
"Yes, she was in an unconventional way."

He gives me a kiss. We stand by his car for a few more seconds before we get in. We head to Sears. We get there and we get everything set up and paid for. He even gets shelving for his laundry room. By the time we get done, it's almost noon. "I think we should eat. What do you like?"
"What do you mean?"
"For restaurants." He smiles.
"I'd rather eat in."
"No, we're going to get it to go." He smiles.
"Is there a Friendly's around here?"
He stops at a red light. "I know a better place." He gives me a kiss. I relax in the passenger seat. He holds my hand. I smile and close my eyes. He pulls up to the Hard Rock Cafe. "My favorite place to eat."
I look at it, shocked. "Josh, you don't have to."
"They have good prices. C'mon." We head inside and he tells the server that we're ordering to go. "What do you want, beautiful?"
I look over the menu. "Shrimp scampi with an Alfredo sauce. It comes with corn on the cob and garlic bread."
"It's very good. I prefer this one." He looks at the server. "I'd like to get my usual, please. She would like the shrimp scampi with the Alfredo sauce and sides."
The server writes it down. "Extra order of baked shrimp, JC? Any drinks?"

"No drinks and yes, extra order of shrimp, please." He hands her his credit card and she has him sign the slip. She hands him his card back. "Thanks for coming in today. It'll be ready in ten minutes."
He pulls me to the bench beside us. He gives me a kiss. "I wanted to treat you to something because you've been so good to me."
"How have I been good to you?"
"Being honest, our time alone and telling me almost everything that's on your mind."
I smile. "Then you've been good to me too."
He smiles. "I've been trying."
I get a text from James, followed by one from Dawn. James sent 'I doubt he isn't and I honestly think you found the one meant for you. So smile when he's around and he'll know you want him around. He is smart.'
I smile and text back. 'Thanks. I know he's smart. I smile constantly when I'm with him.'
I read the one from Dawn. 'Girl, if he's as smart as everyone says, he will figure it out. He will also want you around alot. If he isn't, he's either gay or mentally ill. What's his number? I wanna ask him some ?s'.
'Lil D!'
I text James. 'Can I give my best friend your cell number so she can text you and know what you know about Josh and I? The whole how we feel thing.'
James says it's ok with him. I go to text Dawn James' number and she sends back 'What? I'm being honest.'
'Here is James' number. He knows you'll be texting him and your real name.' I give her his number.
'Thank you! Ttyl.'