"How long was I with him before we really got together?"
"Does it matter? No matter what anyone says, you two know practically everything about each other," an old friend tells me.
"Addie, come on! You're better at this than I am! I'm scared," I tell her, sitting forward on the counter and kicking my legs.
"You messed with him for about 5 months and have been dating him since then, making it almost 6 months."
"It's been almost that long?"
"We've been talking since you left El Doucho. It sucks that we're on opposite ends of the country, but you have a great guy already and he treats you so much better than your ex or any man before him. I've heard how he talks to you, how he treats you," she praisingly tells me.
I smile, knowing she's right and look at a sleepy Josh as he comes into the kitchen. "Hey, handsome."
"Morning, beautiful. Coffee?"
I pull out a mug and pour him a cup, making it how he likes it. "Here, Josh," I say handing him his mug.
He wraps his hands around it, kissing me at the same time and takes a sip after stepping back to lean against the counter in front of me. "Thank you, baby girl."
My hands begin to massage his neck and shoulders, part of our morning routine. "You're welcome, sweetie. You're right though. He's definitely the absolute best thing to happen to me in 5 years or so."
"I know, just like Alex and Duncan are for me," she reminds me.
"I miss my Dumplin'," I groan, thinking of my almost two year old niece.
"She misses her Auntie Squishy," she informs me, sounding ready to cry.
"I'll be home for Easter."
"That's the second Sunday of April!"
"Yes, I know. Josh has friends and family out in Maryland and Chicago. He wanted to stop in and see everyone over the course of a couple weeks."
"You'll have the kids, right?"
"Yes, Adeline."
"Grr, I hate when you call me that," she tells me, chuckling after. "But you're the only one that does."
"Damn skippy I am!" I shout laughingly, causing Josh to look at me over his shoulder. I kiss his cheek and he turns his attention back to his coffee. I have his coffee preferences down to a perfected science. "Who else would dare do that to you?" I ask, smirking.
"True, it's who you are."
"Skishy?" I hear tiny Dumplin' ask, wanting to hear my voice after three very busy days of not talking to me.
"Yes, Auntie Squishy," Addie confirms.
"So video conference around ten?"
"Tonight is on!" she declares with nothing but excitement and joy.
"Talk to you then, Sister Soul," I tell her.
"Until later, gator."
We hang up and Josh looks at me, resting his head on my chest. "You have plans with Nick for lunch right?"
"Yes, baby. It's the 5th and it's nothing big," I comfort him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to my body and making him look straight ahead again.
"I guess. It's just odd how we came together and you only told maybe a handful of people. I told everyone."
"I can keep secrets, you can't."
"True. Thanks for saying yes."
"Don't thank me yet, we're still testing the waters," I reiterate for the zillionth time in the past few months.
"It's been so calm since then," he points out.
"Sam! JC!" Justin yells into the house.
"What?!" Josh and I shout back.
He enters the kitchen, handing Josh a smut mag and I look over his shoulder. My eyes focus on a photo of us kissing at a local clothes store with the kids around us- Josh holding Demitryus in one arm, Aaliyah holding my hand and Mikal walking a few steps ahead. The headline reads 'JC Chasez has found new love with mom of 3'. "Yes, I did and I love all the time I have with them."
"What's the dilemma?" I ask, moving my eyes to meet Justin's.
"They say you're expecting."
"Meh, I can't get pregnant that easy and I'd need IVF."
"Oh."
"Yup. Maybe in a year or two, but not now."
Josh's house phone rings and he answers it. "Hel-. No, mom. A year or two, maybe longer. She's only in her twenties! Mom! If we get through this, maybe. They're still adjusting. I will, love you too. Yup, bye." He shakes his head.
"What, love?" I question.
"My mom wants us to hurry up and have a baby," he tells me, positioning himself in front of me.
I door my head to his chest and groan. "Before I'M 35."
He chuckles. "As long as we can get there, sure. It's 8 years away and a realistic goal."
"Lawdy, Karen."
"Just rush him along, Karen," Justin comments.
"You're here why?" I ask.
"I'm here to keep him occupied," he reminds me of what I set up.
"Oh yeah! Forgot." My cell rings and it's Icky. "Heller?"
"Be there in ten, be ready," is all he says and hangs up.
"He needs to learn phone etiquette." I jog up the stairs, change into jeans and a tank top with my DCs. I brush out my hair as I come down the steps again, my cell buzzing with a text. Nick texts me to let me know he's at the gate. I walk to Josh's side and nuzzle to his side, his arm slinging around me. I kiss Josh as Nick knocks at his door. "Go on, beautiful woman."
"Shut up, Justin."
"One more kiss, sexy," Josh requests, pulling me back to him.
"Mmmm, I gotta go."
Nick comes in and chuckles. "Dude, we've got to get going," he says, jingling his keys.
Josh lets me go, pouting. "See you soon?"
"An hour or two," I confirm, turning to walk away.
~~~~~
"So, he said that he feels that way?" I inquire.
"Yeah, alcohol is his truth serum," Nick jokes as we sit at his place with various pizza and Chinese food containers on the counter between us.
I grab another slice of pizza and pick a piece of shrimp out of the lo mein. "Wow, I never once in my life believed a guy or man could feel that strongly," I confess, pointing at him with my slice of mushroom and extra cheese.
"Well, he does. What about your birthday, Cap?"
He started calling me 'Cap' because of my astrological sign a few months ago. "Nothing big, it doesn't mean as much as one of the kids', so meh," I shrug off my birthday.
"Valentine's?"
"Josh can plan it, I plan every other day."
"Wedding talk?"
"Lots of 'what if' talk about kids, marriage and everything."
"What does your mind say?"
"It tells me not to do it because it's still gonna end like it did last time." I keep my eyes on the pizza in its box.
"Your heart?"
"Do it, he loves me and he's not the other guy."
"That he's not," Nick says in a Yoda voice.
We laugh and he looks at me, nodding. "What?"
"He's so in love with you and you love him just as much, but you're also both scared of pushing anything or rushing it because of past experiences," he observes, knowing it's the truth.
"Can you blame either of us?" I ask, my eyes meeting his.
"Not even for a fraction of a second, little cousin." His cell rings and he answers it. "Hey. Sure, don't see why not. See you in 15." I look at him, a look of 'huh?' on my face. "Aaron. He's coming by to see you. Has a question to ask you."
"Mmmkay?"
"I dunno."
~~~~~
"So you're telling me in the middle of a video game?" I ask Aaron.
"I'm having writer's block and I don't know what to do about it," he confesses as I pass him in Mario Kart:Double Dash (MK:DD for future reference).
"I have some things I wrote years and years ago that you can go through, edit and record as long as you give me some credit for it," I barter.
"Really?" he questions, firing a red homing shell at my characters.
"Damn you. But yes, really."
"Thanks, Cuz. I owe ya."
"Keep in mind some are far too personal and I don't want them released, but most of them are ok."
"Thanks so much," he says, crossing the finish line just fractions of a second behind me.
"You have them at JC's right?"
"Yes, we can look them over in the living room tonight. Let me talk to Josh," I tell him, my cell playing his ringtone. "Hey, babe," I greet him.
"Hey, love. Any plans tonight?"
"Yes, Aaron would like to come look at what I've written."
"Why and what time?"
"He has writer's block and needs some songs for his album, 9:00 ok?" I say as I watch him nod.
"Sure, I don't see why not. By then the kids will be in bed."
"Thanks, love."
"You're welcome, baby."
"See you in an hour?"
"Sounds good to me. Text if you need anything." I hear Justin reminding him to tell me something about a new something or other. "Oh, yeah! We have a new security guard so I'm going to be at the gate, just in case. Thanks, J."
"Alright. See you soon."
"I love you."
"Love you too."
I hang up and shut my eyes tight, leaning back in the moon chair in Nick's game/arcade room. "You're still scared to say 'I love you' so you compensate by saying 'love you' instead," Aaron observes. "You do love him more than you thought possible and it shows."
By now Nick had paused his game on the other side of the room and kneeled between the moon chairs. "It shows more than you realize and we know how you both feel about each other. We just want you happy and him happy."
Nick hugs me from the side and I mess his hair. "Thanks for giving a shit about me."
"Heh, cute," he retorts.
"Seriously though, thanks."
"What's family for?" Aaron points out.
"It's what we do best, try to anyway," Nick reminds me.
"Still getting used to not doing everything myself," I admit, quieter than normal.
Aaron moves to the table in front of me and takes my hands. "You're family we didn't know existed and we spoke to Josh, found out what he deemed ok for us to know, yet we still love and accept you for who you are."
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