JC tries to see who I was texting. I gave James my cell number the night before. "What's up, hon?"
"Nothing." The server brings our food over.
He smiles. "You're talking to Dawn about someone."
"I really like this man and she said if he doesn't like me, he's either gay or mentally ill."
He laughs. "Ok. Who might that be?"
"How about those Lakers?"
He shakes his head. "You don't trust me?"
"I trust you. I just wanna keep it between her, me and James for now. Nothing personal. I'm just not ready to tell you yet."

We walk to his car and get in. I hold the food. He looks at me. "I'm not ready to tell you what I feel for who yet, either."
"I can wait till you are."
He smiles as we pull out of the parking lot and head to his house. I relax in his car and almost fall asleep on the way. We pull in his driveway and his cell rings. "Hello? Yes, I'm just getting home now. You can deliver them today. Thanks."
"Washer and dryer?"
"Yeah. Here's the keys. This one is to the house. I'll get everything else."
"You sure?"

He nods and pops his trunk to grab the shelving, baskets, detergent and fabric softener. We head inside and put everything next to the laundry room door way. I warm up our plates and we eat. The guys delivering the washer and dryer show up and install em. I run the dryer and washer like they say. Josh and I get his clothes together. I decide to wash his bedding as well. He laughs. "Just enough for a load?"
I look at him as I grab the detergent and fabric softener. "Yup." I put in the detergent and fabric softener and start the washer. I sit at his island counter again to finish eating. My cell rings. I look at the caller ID. James. "Hey. How ya doin?"
"I'm good. Are you with JC?"
"Of course. Just finishing up lunch and starting his laundry."
"JC has laundry?"
"I'm training him to put clothes in baskets so I can wash them in his washer and dryer."
"Those are in his house?"
"I made him get them. Saves more money. Made sure they were energy savers. What's up? You called for something."
"We need to talk."
"Good or bad?"

He laughs. "Good."
"How good?"
"Very good."
"Who's we?"
"Who am I on the phone with?"
"Me? What'd I do?"
"Just relax. I found out some things from your best friend, Dawn, about you. Things that will help the situation."
"Ok?"
"Put me on speaker for a minute, please."
I do and JC looks at me funny. "James, you're on speaker."
"JC, I have to talk to Sam for a few minutes and no eavesdropping. I know you. It has to do with her best friend and what I spoke to her about. We're gonna talk outside, in your yard. She will tell you what we talk about someday soon."
JC smiles. "I won't listen in."
"You're smiling. Dude, for real, it's personal."
"Alright."
"Is it ok if I stop by now?"
JC shrugs. "Sure."
"See you in five minutes. I have to talk to you after I talk to her, JC."
"What about?"
"What we talked about yesterday. Sam can listen in because we know who we're talking about."
"Ok."
"Be there soon." He hangs up.
JC and I look at each other, worried. We are cleaning up cuz we just finished eating. James knocks at the door. "Who is it?" JC was closest to the door.

"Lance." JC lets him in. I'm in the dining room, vacuuming, with my back to the door. James taps my shoulder. I turn the vacuum off and give him a hug. "Let's go talk." We head to JC's yard, close the glass door and sit by his pool. I wore shorts and a tank top. I take my shoes and socks off and put them next to me. I put my feet in the pool. "Dawn told me how much of a fighter you are. You lost so much but you're still fighting to get somewhere. Honestly, I have to respect and admire you for it all. JC likes women who fight to get where they go and likes to evade emotional topics, usually by changing the subject."
I think about yesterday. "I kinda noticed that he's very guarded. So am I. Over seven years of pain, shouldn't I be guarded?"
Lance nods. "You, I can understand. JC is scared of opening up to a woman because of Eva and Tara. Can I blame him? No, but he has to let go and move on. Once he's been hurt, he doesn't heal easily. I just had my heart torn out in the past few years, I made the choice to be single and let a better person find me."
"I know that feeling. My only problem is that I've never really been single since I was eleven. That's when my mom let me start dating."
"You've felt it again and again."
"Everyday for the past seven years."

"Before that?"
"Twice. My first boyfriend and the only boyfriend that understood me. TJ was my first boyfriend and Jason Shosey was the one who understood me. Jason saw me at my worst time and walked away, he isn't even sure why. His loss. TJ just didn't know how to handle me. He was a kid who's parents had money and I grew up in what they called the ghetto." I shake my head.
"Why would they say that?"
"They had money, we didn't. Leominster is a town full of snobs and if you don't grow up with their kid or go to school with their kid at some point, you're beneath them and from the ghetto. I was born and raised in the next town over, Fitchburg. I met TJ through a couple friends of we had in common back then."
"You talk to those friends or either ex?"

"Only Shosey. It usually consists of 'how ya been? Good. I'm ok. Life sucks. Glad to hear you're doing good. Hope everything works out for you. Talk to you later. Miss you. Hahaha. I'm not moving back home. Come to LA. talk to ya later. Bye.' It's usually via yahoo messenger or a phone call."
"Nothing will come of that. He's not even interested. He's just checking on you."
"I know. He thinks he might be able to get tail but won't. But, Josh. He's different. He doesn't expect it. Last night, I started kissing him. He held my face gently with one hand and had his other hand on my hip, feeling me do body waves. We got pretty close and he was grinding on me, fully clothed, and started feeling guilty. He stopped and said he'd never forgive himself if I didn't want any of it right then. I said fuck me in French and pulled him close, kissing him and doing body waves on him again. I wasn't ready to tell him and I'm still not yet. I don't know how long he's willing to wait to hear it. He's been single so long that he might be afraid to tell the one he likes outta fear of being shot down and nixed from her life." I look at Lance.

"Something I know for sure is that he has alot of patience. He can wait almost forever to hear someone's true thoughts and feelings. He hardly ever gets mad about that kinda thing. He takes it with a grain of salt and thinks about it. He's gotten mad once, it was only because she said he was just a rebound and she didn't really care about him. He poured himself into his work and spoke to almost nobody for a couple weeks. It killed him emotionally and he's been healing ever since. He met you yesterday and hasn't stopped being the JC we knew until 05. He's always laughing and smiling. He jokes around like he used to. You got to him in ways nobody could since Eva."
"Over five years? That's a long ass time."
"I know. We've missed JC and he's back to himself since he met you yesterday. Justin and Nick told me that he was back to being his old self."
I look at him, curious and confused. "You're welcome?"
He smiles. "We are all thankful for you coming into his life, but we don't completely understand how or why you clicked with him. Justin said something about astrological and Chinese zodiac signs. Explain it to me."
I sigh. "Ok, here goes. I'm a Capricorn, which is an earth sign, in astrology. I'm a fire tiger, which is obviously fire. He's a fire dragon and a Leo, both being fire. Fire is a natural resource which feeds off the energy of the earth and feeds into the earth's energy and replenishes it. One feeds off the other and replenishes each other. Please tell me you understand what I just said."

He nods. "All of it. It's based on simple science and makes a great deal of sense. How about spiritually?"
"Familiar souls, karma brings us together and our souls pull at each other. Like we belong together. Destiny vs temptation theory."
"You believe in more than one religion. Karma, destiny, luck and God. Somehow you believe all of it plays a hand in your life. You believe in your destiny and that you deserve better, which makes you fight for it all."
"You have to keep in mind that with a little luck and if God says karma is in my favor, I will get what I deserve. When is a mystery to us, God knows when cuz he planned it before we were even born." I look in his eyes and smile.
"You downplay your intelligence. When you show it, you get to him."
"I can tell. He gets that dirty little smirk on his face."
Lance laughs. "He would. You probably feel a little more at ease and like you know him a little better."
I smile. "A little bit."
Lance smiles back at me. "He doesn't usually just click with any woman, especially not like he did with you. By the way, I heard from Justin and JC that you speak bit and pieces of three other languages."
"Yeah. French, Spanish, and Irish Gaelic."
"What can you say in Spanish?"
"Very little. And it's embarrassing."
"After you hang out with Howie for awhile and learn it from him, you should be able to say almost anything in Spanish. How about French?"
"I'm kinda reteaching myself the basics and some 'inappropriate' extras they don't teach in school. Gaelic, I'm teaching myself that little by little." I smile.
"Something you would only tell JC in French?"
"Je veux t'enculer ce soir. I've texted him that. Did that last night." I giggle.

"What does that mean?"
"It means 'I want to fuck you tonight'. I would only direct that to Josh though. I wanna tell him how I feel but every time I do try, almost nothing  comes outta my mouth." I start playing with the bottom of the legs on my shorts. "It's so frustrating for me when I look at him and wanna say how I feel. All that happens is a smile or a kiss. I crave his touch, want him to hold me close, wanna taste his kisses, feel his body next to mine and know he's paying attn to me."
Lance hugs me. "I know the feeling. I'll help you figure out how to get past this."
"Thanks."
"Are you feeling better about this whole thing with JC?"
"Yeah." I look at him and smile. "Want me to go get him?" I nod toward the house.
"Would you please?"
I nod, get up barefoot, walk in JC's house, look at him, smile and walk by him. He's leaning over the counter, messing with my iPod. I'm hoping I erased the convo with Lance from last night. I giggle & he looks at me. He gets up and follows me into the new laundry room. He stands in the doorway and watches me put the laundry in the dryer. I set the dryer and turn it on. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. I smile as he pushes my hips so I face him. He gives me a kiss and smiles. "He would like to talk with you. Do you mind if I sit outside with you?"

"Sure. C'mon." He leads me out of the laundry room and steals a quick kiss. I smile and switch my hips on the way outside. "Mmmm. I love that."
I stop just outside the glass doors. "You comin, Josh? Or ya just gonna watch me walk away?"
I start walking toward Lance again, smiling. He's watching the whole thing. JC starts jogging to catch up to me. I signal that I wanna sit in the grass. Lance moves to the grass and sits down. JC catches up and grabs my hand. He gently pulls my hand so I turn around to face him. He steps closer to me and holds me in his arms. He has his hands on the small of my back, pulling me as close as he can and all I can do is smile. Lance can see our faces from a side angle. I can see him outta the corner of my right eye but don't care cuz he knows how we feel about each other. JC kisses me and we both smile. I put my head on his chest and look at Lance. JC looks at Lance. "I really am serious, Lance."
"I know what you told me. What I don't understand is why you clicked like that." He snaps his fingers.
"Something pulled me to her. I told you why I'm attracted to her, what I like about her. She's everything in one and more."
"True." Lance looks at me. "You haven't told her yet?"
"No, it doesn't feel like the right time. You didn't say anything?"
"Nothing." I look at Lance and he slowly blinks. I know JC is talking about his emotions. "I know she's scared and more than appreciates you. She wants you around. It's all I can tell you without breaking a promise to her."
JC rubs my back. "Same promise you made with me. She'll tell me when she's ready."
"I did tell her you can be very patient and she needs time."
JC kisses me on the head. "Does she understand that I'm willing to wait as long as it takes?"
I smile at Lance. "She understands. You need to understand that she's been dealing with a broken heart for seven years. She needs time to heal her broken heart. She does want you around because she trusts you. You might even help her heal."
"How do you figure that?"
"You make her days worth living and make her smile. It doesn't take much to do that. According to her friend, she's never talked like this about ANYBODY."
"Really?" Lance nods and I smile as JC holds me closer. "Does she know?"
"I haven't told her. I had her friend promise me not to tell her or you how you guys feel about each other."

I have my eyes closed. JC steps back and sits down, closer to Lance. I open my eyes as he steps back and he has me sit in front of him, facing him. I sit as if I have a skirt on and put my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist, one hand on my hip and the other on my back. I wrap my arms around him so both of my hands are on his back. "So she doesn't know exactly how I feel."
"She's willing to wait until you're ready to tell her. Just like you're willing to wait for her to tell you. I understand why you're attracted to each other. You both have the same basic idea for why, but once either of you expand on it, it varies and crosses the other one's path and does differ."
"So, do you think it might work?"
"I'm gonna say this once and you need to remember it. It'll work because there's honesty, communication, chemistry, friendship and a level of comfort. You two would last a good while, if not for good."