Here Comes Goodbye

Chapter One:

             I turn over in my bed trying to shield my eyes from the brightness of the sun seeping through my lids. Upon turning over however, my eyes shoot open at realizing I'm alone in the bed. I stretch, sit up, and rub the sleep from my eyes before looking around and taking in my surroundings. Home. Our new home. Until now, I'd only seen it furnished in pictures. How come I can't remember anything? Not the visit to Mom's. Not arriving at our house. Not Lindsay showing me around. Lindsay. The reason I woke up floods my brain. Where is she? Why isn't she in bed? I turn to look at the clock. 7:00 am. Well she should definitely be in bed. I pull the covers back and flinch slightly at the cool air hitting my bare skin. I reach for my jeans that are tossed on the floor. Pulling them on, I leave the room in search for her.

            I arrive downstairs in the living room and there she is. Wearing my light blue button up, her boy short underwear, and that's it. I stand there against the door frame for a few minutes just watching her. I smile softly and then push away from the frame and enter the room. I walk quietly to where she's sitting on the couch and wrap her in my arms as best as I can with the couch in the way. "Morning babe. Why aren't you still in bed?"

            She turns her face to meet mine and brushes her lips against mine softly. "Hmm, morning. Couldn't sleep. Why aren't you still in bed?" She sends me a smile and shifts her whole body to face me and wraps her arms around me as well.

            "Because you aren't still in bed." I smile back at her and kiss her back just as softly. We break the kiss and she leans into me, resting her head on my chest softly. I turn my head to rest my cheek against the top of hers and we stay like that for an immeasurable amount of time.

            She takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, causing me to lift my head and pull back from her a little bit. She looks up at me, meeting my eyes before taking another slow deep breath and releasing it. Oh, no. This can't be good. "Um, I wanted to tell you something last night, but I never got the chance." I nod and she clears her throat. "Um, Jus, it might be best for you to sit down." I study her face for a minute before nodding again and walking around the couch to sit next to her. We both turn to face each other with her legs slightly overlapping mine; I grasp her hands to reassure her.

            "Ok, whenever you're ready." I give her a small smile and nod to show her she has my full attention. As if she ever doesn't.

            She opens her mouth and starts to speak, but it's not her voice I hear. "Well, he got pretty lucky. No serious injuries, no broken bones. Nothing major. Just some bumps and minor bruising. He'll make a full recovery. The part we need to worry about now though, is how long he stays in the coma and how that might affect him in the long run."

            "Um, Lindsay. What was that?" I try to focus solely on her voice. But where have I heard that voice before?

            She starts to repeat what she said but again, it's not her voice I hear. But the voice I do hear, I'd know anywhere. Paul? "Um," she clears her throat before continuing, "is there anything that we can or should do?"

            Then the first voice is back and answers him. "Nothing much for now. Just keep talking to him. It's greatly believed that comatose patients can hear voices they know very well. And hopefully, that will help him to realize what's real and what's not."

            I close my eyes tightly shut for a few minutes; willing my brain to focus on the woman in front of me that I want so much to focus on. That's the voice from that messed up dream. But man did it ever feel so real.

            "Jus?" I slowly open my eyes to meet Lindsay's concerned ones. I shake my head of the remnants of my dream and nod to her. "Are you ok? You were spacing out a little." She chuckles softly causing me to smile at her meekly.

            "Yeah, sorry. I just, I can't seem to shake this dream I had. It was so real and I just don't know. But anyway. What were you needing to tell me?" She gives me a small smile and studies my face for a few minutes.

            "Oh, it's nothing. It can wait. It's not worth it if you can't even concentrate right now. So, tell me about this dream. Maybe that's all you need. To just tell someone and everything will be better. Then I can continue." I nod, but am hesitant.

            "Um, ok, but it's not a pleasant dream. Definitely more like my worst nightmare." She nods, encouraging me to continue. "Hmm, well, it starts with you picking me up at the airport. Then while you're driving to Mom's, you rub your eyes and say that your contacts have been bothering you and you need to make an appointment. While we're quiet, just listening to the radio, I feel you squeeze my hand. And I swear I could feel you do it too, it felt so real. Then I turn to look at you and meet your eyes just seconds before they slide close and then," I clear my throat, "well, then I'm waking up in the hospital. At first I don't realize where I am but a doctor and nurse come in. He starts talking to me, asking me questions but my throat is too dry so the nurse leaves to get me water. Once she's back the doctor continues with what happened. A car accident. You had a brain aneurysm rupture causing you to lose consciousness and in turn lose control of the car." I swallow and meet her eyes for the first time since I started talking about this. And her blank expression confuses me. She tries to give me a smile to encourage me to continue but doesn't quite succeed. I'm just about to ask her if she's ok but she shakes her head so I just finish telling her my dream. "Um, I lose my patience because the doctor refuses to answer me when I continue to ask if you're ok. Mom and the nurse won't look at me. Finally the doctor looks right in my eyes, and I see everything that I need to see there, everything that I really hope that I don't have to ever actually live through. And then he just says "I'm so sorry." And that's where I woke up, right as the dream me slips into unconsciousness."

            I chance another look at her and she still has the same blank look on her face. Even her eyes show no expression. "Linds? Are you feeling ok? I mean, yeah it sucks. But it is just a dream, right?" She starts to get up, shaking her head. I grab her hand tighter so that she can't get too far. "Come on Lindsay. Talk to me. It's just a stupid dream. Nothing more. I mean yeah I was upset about it too at first but, once I was over the shock of it, I was thankful that it was just a dream. I'd hate to ever even think about someth," but I'm cut off when I hear a sob escape her and see her shoulders shaking. I immediately jump up and envelop her in my arms, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her back and the other cupping the back of her head and holding it into my bare chest. "Hey, hey, sweetie it's ok. We're both here and we are both perfectly healthy and fine." She pushes roughly away from me and shakes her head at me as she backs away. I'm in so much shock that I can't even form words. I just watch her back away, almost like she's scared of me. After a few minutes, the shock wears off, but I don't try to go to her. I stand there, her tears drying on my skin, and watch her, study her. It takes me a few minutes before I see that her mouth is moving. What is she saying? As I struggle to find the words to ask her, she finally speaks loud enough for me to hear, still just a whisper, but the words she's repeating stop me cold.

            "Not. Just. A. Dream."