The southern heat was oppressive.  Thick, hot, humid air surrounded her, causing her clothes to stick uncomfortably.  She was a city girl; born and raised in Boston and this place was as far from Boston as it got.  No skyscrapers, no street vendors, and hardly any people.  She missed the smells, the sounds, and the less blood-boiling temperatures.  But now, she was here and she was trying to make the best of it. 

“Bailey.” 

Sifting through papers, she found her mind wandering over the laundry list of things she needed to get done before she had to pick Carter up from school.

“Bailey.” 

She had to get some groceries, and she had to get to the post office so she could pick up a money order for rent.  She also had to get to the poster board and paints that Carter needed for his science fair project.

“Bailey!”  A hand on her shoulder caused her to jump, throwing the stack of papers that had been in her hands.  “Sorry!  I called your name but you didn’t answer.”  The thick drawl of her boss sounded in her ears and she felt the heat rise to her hair line.

“Sorry.  I guess I was spacing.”  She felt like she was using that excuse a lot lately, but she had no other answer to give.  At least, not one that she could share openly.

“I noticed.  Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?  You look like you need it.”  Amelia straightened up, watching Bailey carefully.  The girl was extremely jumpy and Amelia was afraid that she was going to shake herself to pieces.  She had never met someone that scared so easily.

“Are you sure?  I don’t want to leave you short handed.”  Both Bailey and Amelia’s eyes glanced around the empty office space, noting the distinct lack of customers.

“You know, I think I’ll manage.”  She watched as the young woman’s face fell slightly, “you can come in earlier in the morning, though, and get the rest of those papers filed.”  That seemed to bring a little more life back into her face.  Although Bailey never mentioned it, Amelia knew that she struggled with making ends meet and money was tight.  She tried to give Bailey as many hours as possible, but it seemed ridiculous to keep her there if it was completely dead.

“Okay.”  Bailey organized the papers that had scattered around the floor, setting them in a neat pile on her desk.  “I have to run some errands before I pick up Carter, anyway.”

“Great.  How is he settling in?”  Amelia had just recently hired Bailey as her secretary.  She and her son had moved into town only a month earlier and Bailey had been desperate for work.  Amelia ran a small legal office that mostly dealt with divorce and land disputes, but that’s what happened when you lived in a town like Shelby Forest.  Bailey had seemed like a capable, intelligent young woman and Amelia hadn’t been able to turn her down when she showed up, pleading for a job.  Steady paying jobs were rare in Shelby forest and Amelia wasn’t hurting for money.  She took Bailey on and so far it had been a great fit.

She just wished the girl would learn to relax.

“He seems to be doing okay.  He misses his old school, which I figured would happen, but he’s excited that baseball season is starting.  He’s pretty sure he’ll be able to pitch some this year.”

Amelia laughed.  “If he’s got any arm at all, they’ll be lucky to have him.  I love our school, but we don’t have the best talent pool anymore.  Carter will be a breath of fresh air.”

A few more pleasantries were exchanged before Bailey was slipping on her sunglasses and heading outside to her car.  The heat was worse when she stepped through the door.  She wasn’t sure if it was possible to melt, but she was certain she would find out soon enough.

It took her close to an hour to get all of her errands done, but she managed to do it all before Carter’s practice was over.  Catching a glimpse of her gangly twelve-year-old, Bailey couldn’t help but smile.  His flaxen hair hung into his eyes and she reminded herself to make him an appointment to get it cut.  She watched as he ran drills with the other boys, his athletic prowess standing out above the rest of the group.  He was tall for his age, both a gift and a curse left to him by his father.  Carter had never enjoyed how much he stood out, almost eight inches above the rest of the kids his age.  Hopefully they would catch up with him soon enough.

“Mrs. Beckett?”  The voice startled her and caused her to turn quickly to meet whoever was calling her name.

“It’s Miss.”  She amended, reaching her hand out to the man that had spoken to her.  “But you can call me Sa-Bailey.”  She caught her almost slip, hoping that he hadn’t noticed.  “What can I do for you?”

“I’m Justin, Carter’s English teacher.”  He stood beside her, his own eyes watching the boys run laps around the baseball diamond.  “He’s a great kid.”

She felt herself blush.  “Thank you.  I can’t take any credit, though, he’s always been incredible.”

They watched the practice a little longer before Justin broke the silence again.  Bailey had almost forgotten he was there.  “I’m glad I caught you.  I wanted to talk with you about something Carter wrote in class today.”

Bailey frowned.  She’d never had anything but glowing reviews from teachers, but Justin’s tone was far from reassuring.  “What did he do?”

Justin chuckled, quick to assuage her fears.  “Oh, it wasn’t inappropriate or anything.  In fact, he’s a phenomenal writer.  It’s rare to see boys his age capable of expressing themselves like Carter does.  It’s rather refreshing.”

“Oh, good.”  She let out a nervous laugh.  “You had me worried there.”

His smile faded some.  “Well, I am concerned, but not because he’s done anything wrong.”  He took a breath, hating to have a conversation like this with any parent, but it was part of his job.  “He wrote a journal entry today and it was rather…intense.”

“Oh god…”  Bailey groaned, her head falling back and her eyes closing.  She had hoped to escape this, but she couldn’t expect Carter to forget everything, even though she wished he could.  “What was it?”

Justin pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket, handing it over silently.

            What is a hero?

            I don’t think there are such things as heroes.  Really.  How can there be?  How can people have heroes when there are wars going on, families falling apart, kids being beaten, women being raped and killed?  Whenever you turn on the news it’s all bad stuff.  No one talks about anything good in the world.  It’s all about disasters, death, and all the horrible shit the rest of the world can’t get enough of.  Where have all those heroes gone?  Where are the good guys?  Why can’t my mom find a good guy instead of all the scum bags that keep breaking her heart? 

            We like to call those douche bags in tights and stupid cars our heroes.  But what good is web slinging when the hurt happens inside?  What good is the ability to fly when they bad guys always find you anyway?  And what good is superhuman strength when someone always busts out the kryptonite? 

            There is no such thing as a hero.  Just bad people who always seem to win and stupid people who always seem to think it’s going to change.

Bailey folded the paper carefully, handing it back to the teacher with shaking hands.  She took a deep breath, blinking back the tears before they managed to fall down her cheeks.  She was happy to have her sunglasses on.

“Wow.”  She said, not sure what this man wanted to hear from her.  She couldn’t explain where her son was writing from, even though she knew.  She couldn’t explain that she’d caused all of his hurt and cynicism, even though she had tried her hardest to protect him from it all.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.”  He licked his lips, watching the woman carefully from the corner of his eye.  She was younger than he’d expected.  He’d bet she was his age, maybe even a year or two younger, which meant that Carter had been born when she was still a teenager or in her early twenties.  He wasn’t sure why he was thinking about it, either.  “Ms. Beckett, you can understand why I’m concerned, can’t you?” 

She nodded her head, not able to find the right words yet.

“Your son has done a great job of fitting in here, and I think he’s doing really well.  His grades are incredible, he’s polite and respectful, but this concerns me.”

“I know.”  Her voice broke and she cringed.  She sounded like a terrible mother right now.  “Carter and I have been through a lot together.  He’s seeing a counselor and he’s been doing a lot better lately, but I think he still harbors a lot of resentment for his father.  It’s…it’s a really touchy subject for the both of us.”  And a topic that can’t ever be discussed, she thought.  Her secrets had to be closely guarded and she knew it was going to make her look like a terrible, insensitive mother, but so be it.  It was for the best.

“I just wanted to make you aware of what he was writing.”  Justin’s voice had a funny tone and Bailey turned to look at him full on for the first time since their conversation had started.

“I’m not insensitive, Mr…”

“Timberlake.”  He provided.

“Mr. Timberlake.  I love my son very much and it kills me to know that these are the things he thinks about.  I wish I could shelter him from that, but it’s too late.  You might think I’m a horrible mother because my son has faced some really fucked up things, but I love that little boy more than my own life.  I’m sorry it disturbs you, but I can’t change his writing.  I won’t ask him to stop expressing himself because it makes you uncomfortable.”

Justin took a step back, not expecting an outburst like that to come from such a small, petite woman.  “Ms. Beckett…I’m not…”

Just as he was about to explain that he wasn’t accusing her of anything, Carter came trotting over.

“Hey Ma.”  He panted, sweat dripping down his face and into the collar of his t-shirt.  “You’re here early.”

“Hey Baby.  It was dead at work.  I got let out for good behavior.”  She kissed him despite the sweat, sending a scathing glare over toward Justin.

“Oh, hey Mr. T.”  Carter gave a small wave to his teacher, noticing him for the first time.  “What are you doing here?”

Justin managed to make his mouth smile and his shoulders relax.  “I was just telling your mother how great you’re doing in class.  You’re the best writer I’ve had in years.”  The young boy blushed at the compliment and looked down at the ground, scuffing the toe of his cleat into the dirt. 

“Carter, don’t do that.  You’ll ruin your shoes.”  Bailey nudged her son’s foot with her own, stopping his motions.  “Grab your stuff.  I’ll meet you at the car.”  She and Justin watched him walk back toward the gymnasium, both of them uncomfortable and unsure of what to say.

“Ms. Beckett…”

“Bailey, please.”  It was the only white flag she could offer, even though she hated to do it.  She didn’t want Carter to suffer because she was a bitch to his teacher.

“Bailey, I’m sorry you think I’m accusing you of being a bad mother.  I’m not.”  He took a deep breath.  “I really like Carter and I was just worried when I saw that writing.  I wanted to make sure you knew, too, so you could talk with him if you didn’t.  I’m sorry if I offended you.”

Bailey inwardly cursed southern charm, because she felt her resolve to hate him started to melt in the May heat.  She had overreacted, but it was because of years of having to defend herself and her mothering.  Her whole life with Carter had been a battle and she had learned to keep her defenses up permanently.

“No, I’m sorry.”  She reluctantly apologized.  Her pride didn’t like it.  “Thank you for showing me, and I’ll make sure to talk to Carter about it.”

A gentle hand was placed on Bailey’s arm but she jumped back.  Justin pulled his hand away quickly, realizing he’d probably crossed the line.  “I don’t want him to stop writing, especially if it’s a release for him.  I just wanted to make sure he had someone to talk to.”

Bailey eyed him skeptically.  No man cared about her son for innocent reasons.  Every man took a liking to her son just to get to her.  But this man seemed different.  Her guard went up even higher.  Those that seemed different were usually worse than the rest.

“Thank you for telling me.”  She fished her keys out of her purse.  “I’ll talk to Carter.  Have a good evening, Mr. Timberlake.”  She walked hurriedly to her car, meeting her son at the door and speeding off moments later.

Justin watched them go, unsure of what just happened.  His meetings with parents usually weren’t so…cold.  Usually he had a great rapport with the parents of his students, even if the student had troubles.  He prided himself on being able to get on the student’s level, which all of his parents appreciated immensely.  He usually had insight where they didn’t.  At least…until Bailey and Carter Beckett came along.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and scuffed his feet as he walked toward his own car.  He had been on his way home for the night when he spotted the young woman.  It was a parent he didn’t know, so he could only assume it was Carter’s mom.  He knew everyone in this town.  It wasn’t hard to spot the newbie.  He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Bailey Beckett certainly wasn’t it.  She was tiny, a good head shorter than her son.  She was young, too, and he caught himself wondering again if she was around his age.  He’d expected a middle aged soccer mom, but he got a spit-fire in high heels.  That wasn’t something often found in Shelby Forest.

Despite all of his teacher-ly knowledge about the dangers of it, he was intrigued by Bailey Beckett. 

Climbing into his truck, he rid his head of the young woman, choosing instead to turn on the radio and loose himself in the sorrows of Country music.

~*~

“How was practice, Bub?”  Bailey ruffled Carter’s hair, cringing at the sweat that soaked her hand.

“It was good.  Coach says I’ll get to work on pitching tomorrow.  I think he’s going to start me in our first game.”

“That’s awesome, Carter!” A smile stretched her features.  “I’m so proud of you.”

Carter ducked his head, not fond of the attention or praise.  He was a quite boy, introverted and focused beyond his years.  Bailey wasn’t sure where he got it from, because she was scattered and passionately driven while Carter was methodical and precise.  He reminded her of her father, and a pang of guilt washed through her whenever she thought about breaking the two of them apart.

“What were you and Mr. Timberlake talking about?”  Carter hadn’t missed the heated debate his mother was having with his teacher and he frowned, worrying his lip with this teeth.  “It looked pretty intense.”

Bailey took a deep breath.  “He showed me your writing from today.  He was concerned and he wanted to make sure I was aware.”

Carter’s frown lessened slightly, “Oh.”  He let out a puff of air.  “What did you tell him?”

“To mind his own damn business.” 

“Mom!”  Carter blushed, embarrassed.

Bailey laughed slightly, even though the situation wasn’t very comical.  “I didn’t actually say that.  I told him I was aware of what was going and that we were handling it together.  I think he was just worried because you seemed really pissed off in your journal entry today.”

“Yeah, well, he asked about heroes and he’s always telling us to be honest.  So, I was honest.  Heroes are a load of bull shit created by comic book writers so that they can make money.”

“Language.”  Bailey scolded, but the look her son sent her told her she was being a hypocrite.  If Carter had inherited anything from her, it was her trucker’s mouth.

“Was he mad at me?”  The worry was back on his brow.  Bailey settled a comforting hand on his knee, glancing at him to give him her best smile.

“Not at all.  He couldn’t tell me enough how talented and bright you are.  He was just doing his job, that’s all, baby.”  She hated to defend the man, but she had no reason not to.  If she could let go of her pessimism long enough she might have to praise him for being on top of things, but she wasn’t about to be that forgiving.  It felt like he was prying, even though he was just doing his job.

“What’s for dinner?”  Carter’s voice broke through Bailey’s thoughts and back to the present.

“I was thinking burgers and fries?  We’ll bust the grill out and eat outside?”  They had no air conditioning and the heat in the house was intense.  Lately she and Carter had found ways to be outside as much as possible, which included dinner on the porch.

“Yeah, that’s good.”  He fell silent again, lost in his own thoughts.  Bailey watched him carefully, looking for signs that he was cracking under the pressure of the move or the life they were forced to lead, but all she could see was her little boy.  Granted, a much older and tired looking version, but he was still her little boy none-the-less.