The move to Shelby Forest, Tennessee had been a difficult transition for both Bailey and Carter.  Both of them loved the city.  There was a pulse, a life force that emanated from cities and made a person feel alive with electricity.  Shelby Forest, on the other hand, was a sleepy as it gets.  It was a small, southern town that ran on gossip and church sermons.  Something that Carter and Bailey were having trouble adjusting to.  To his credit, Carter was taking the move much better than his mother was, but sometimes she wondered if he was putting on a brave face on her behalf.

Bailey had been barely twenty when she had Carter.  She had fallen in love with the local bad boy, been swayed by his charm and his danger, and had gotten burned beyond repair in the end.  What hurt her the most, though, was that Carter had suffered for her mistakes.

He was the light of her life and he proudest accomplishment.  Despite the circumstances that had brought them here, she was happy to have him by her side.  This was their fresh start.  This was their chance to be a family, even though there were pieces and parts missing.  Bailey worried that not having a father was a detriment to Carter.  Even though he vehemently denied wanted a man in his life, she could tell he envied those boys who’s fathers coached them from the sidelines and stayed after practice or games to work on their batting stance.  Bailey knew very little about baseball and she tried her best to help but she knew it wasn’t the same.  Carter needed structure and dependability, and while she did her best to give that to him, she knew that he needed a man in his life, too.

Of course, the few failed attempts at relationships she’d had had left them both with bad tastes in their mouths.  Carter had witnessed men use Bailey and she hated that he was aware of those things.  Her son was incredibly in tune with her emotions, and he always knew when her heart had been broken again.

“They’re assholes, Mom.  You deserve better than that.”  He’d told her once, and she was shocked to hear those words come out of an eight-year-old’s mouth.  He was right, though, and from then on she tried her best to shield him from any of her own hurts.

Her father had been a huge influence in both of their lives.  Carter adored the older man and looked up to him in so many ways.  Together they had learned wood working, and Carter had made his first baseball bat when he was seven.  They shared an unrivaled passion for the Boston Red Sox, celebrating every win and picking apart every loss.  They talked cars, books, and when the time came, girls.  Bailey had once tried to join with him so she could connect too, but it soon became apparent that it was a Boys Only club and she was just a silly girl.

Now, though, Carter only had her and she was afraid he was suffering for it.

“Penny for your thoughts?”  Amelia’s voice startled Bailey but she kept herself from jumping.

“Oh, just…worrying about Carter, that’s all.”  Bailey was a terrible liar and she knew that Amelia would spot a cover up from a mile away.  Honesty was the best policy, but it was also out of the question.  A half-truth would have to suffice.  “His teacher talked with me yesterday and shared some concerns about his writing.”

“Nothing too bad, I hope.”  Amelia had a strong affection for this young woman, and she knew she was running from a terrible past.  There had been no details shared, but it was obvious that this beautiful girl had demons and she was doing her best to keep them at bay.  Why else would she end up in Shelby Forest?

“No, he wasn’t in trouble.”  Bailey let out a sigh.  The pressure in her chest was getting heavier by the day and she knew she would have to break sooner or later.  She would have to find someone to talk to, some way to relieve the stress of keeping her secret.  “He’s just so young and he’s so…aware.  He has seen too much hurt in his life and I wish I could protect him from it all.  I feel like a terrible mother.  My boy shouldn’t feel that there are no such things as heroes and I can’t help but think that’s my fault.”

Amelia sat down and placed a gentle hand on Bailey’s arm.  “I don’t know what you’re running from, darling, but you’re not a bad mother by any means.”

Bailey’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  “Running?”  She swallowed hard, not know how Amelia had figured her out so easily.  Could everyone else see it, too?

“It’s not hard to notice, Bailey.”  She noted the fear on the other woman’s face, so Amelia was quick to dispel Bailey’s fears.  “I’ve been a lawyer for a long time and I’ve seen my share of women who come from bad pasts and are looking for a fresh start.  Plus, I’m certain you didn’t move your son from Boston to Shelby Forest for the school district.”

Bailey sat silently, conflicting emotions playing across her face.  She knew that there would come a time when she would need to open up to someone.  A counselor had been offered when she moved, and she did it so Carter wouldn’t feel so awkward, but it wasn’t the right kind of release.  Bailey needed to confess to someone that wasn’t paid to listen.  Of course, her hands were tied and telling would mean the dissolution of everything she was trying to build here in Tennessee.  She would keep silent if it meant providing a life that was good for Carter.  So, no matter how tempting it was to want to spill her guts, she kept her mouth shut.

“Thanks for listening.”  She shut down the conversation with a tight smile.  “I think I’ll get back to those files and get them done before I go for the day.”

Amelia knew it was time to back off, “Sure thing.  I’ll be in my office if you need me.  I have an appointment coming it at two.  Just send him on back.”

Bailey settled into the routine of alphabetizing and organizing; stuffing files into manila folders; setting said files into gray metal cabinets.  It was mundane, but it was therapeutic.  There was no emotion in this job.  There was no question of ethics, right or wrong; there were files and papers and meaningless names.  Bailey missed being intellectually challenged, but she enjoyed the relief of not having to think too hard to do this job.  She would find other ways to stretch her brain.  Right now, she just wanted to lose herself somewhere between the S’s and the Z’s. 

The music hummed softly in the back ground, spilling from the stereo in the corner.  Bailey hummed along as she methodically filed the stack of forms.  So lost in her own word, it wasn’t until the “Excuse me,” sounded over her head that she noticed someone else was in the room.

“Justin?”  Her eyes squinted in confusion, as if she couldn’t believe he was standing there in the office.

“Hello, Bailey.”  Justin was uncomfortable, even though he knew that Bailey worked here.  When someone new moved into town, news spread quickly.  Besides that, Carter was his students and Bailey’s job was common knowledge amongst him and his colleagues.  “How are you, today?”

Bailey noticed the jeans a t-shirt that adorned his body.  He looked out of place in those clothes.  She expected him to be in khakis and a tie, like when they first met.  She had to remind herself that teachers were people, too.  “I’m fine, thank you.  Uh…is everything okay?”

Justin gave her a quizzical look.  “Great, thanks.”

Bailey shook her head, trying to snap out of her strange daze.  “I meant with Carter.  Is that why you’re here?”  Justin’s laughter caught her off guard and she started to frown.  She couldn’t figure out what was so funny but she had a feeling it was going to be at her expense.

“No, I have a two o’clock appointment with Amelia.”  Bailey’s eyes rose in shock and her face instantly darkened with redness.

“Right, Amelia.  Sorry.”  She ducked, fully embarrassed.

“It’s okay.  Most people think that teachers never leave the school building.  You should see the looks my students give me when they catch me around town.”  Despite his jovial tone, Bailey didn’t feel any better about her slip up.

“Amelia is in her office.  She said to go on back.”

“Great, thanks.”  He sauntered down the hallway and Bailey caught herself watching him walk. 

She shook her head again, cursing herself for being such a moron.  “Way to be blond.”  She mumbled, turning back to her filing.  It was more difficult than she thought to get back into the swing of her project.  What was Justin doing here?  Amelia was mainly a divorce lawyer.  Was he getting a divorce?  Although it was ethically wrong, she couldn’t help but skip to the T’s, searching for ‘Timberlake’ amongst the stacks of papers.

It didn’t take her long to find it, settled between Thomas and Trask.  It was a copy of his initial paperwork detailing his inheritance from a William Bomar.  The will stated that Justin was being left Mr. Bomar’s land, house, and all of his belongings. 

A noise sounded behind her and she quickly covered the paper in her hands, looking up to see Justin and Amelia leaving her office as they chatted and laughed.  Bailey felt guilty for snooping and she hoped the shame didn’t show on her face.

“I’ll see you later, Bailey.”  Justin called, waiving to both women and leaving the building with the jingling of the bells above the door.

“Do you know him?”  Amelia asked, surprised at Justin’s familiarity with her secretary.  She really shouldn’t have been.  Bailey was a very attractive young, single woman and Justin was an equally attractive young man.  It was only natural they’d seek each other out in a town filled with children, married couples, and senior citizens.

“He’s Carter’s English teacher.”

“Oh, right.  That makes sense.”  Perhaps Amelia was too quick to hope for a love connection.  She had known Justin his entire life and it amazed her that the boy still hadn’t settled down.  Amelia didn’t know Bailey very well, but she didn’t think it would hurt for the two of them to get to know one another.  “He’s a fantastic teacher.  All the kids love him.”

“Carter seems to like him a lot.  He tells me they talk sports all the time.  I’m glad that Carter has a male figure in his life.”

“Well, Justin’s the best.”  Amelia stood from her spot on Bailey’s desk and started to head back toward her office.  “When you get that filing finished up, you can take off for the day.  I don’t have any more appointments.”  She calls as she walks down the hallway.

“Okay.”  Bailey turns back to the papers on her desk, still slightly caught up in thoughts about Justin.  She wasn’t entirely sure why she kept thinking about it, but it was bothering her.  She had a lot more important things to worry about than a man, especially her son’s teacher.  It was a bad idea for her to get too distracted.  Besides, she and Carter were a team.  No other boys allowed.

She fell back into the rhythm of filing, letting her mind shut down and her emotions burrow their way back inside where they couldn’t be touched.  It was safer that way.

~*~

Middle school was like a three ring circus of hormones, secrets, and never ending drama.  The social circles shifted and changed on an hourly basis.  It was hard enough to keep track of names and faces never, mind keeping track of who was dating whom or who was mad at whom.

For Carter, it was all a little too reality tv for his liking.  He thought that Boston had been bad, but E.E Jeter was a hundred times worse.  At least in Boston it was possible to fade into the brick work and pretend you didn’t exist.  At least in Boston the crowds were capable of swallowing a boy whole, tossing him from class to class and spiting him out into the sunshine when the day was over.  His teachers over looked him; the other students ignored him; he was the invisible boy.  That was, until his world had blown apart and everything had changed.

Now he was here in Shelby Forest, Tennessee.  Everyone knew the business of everyone else; secrets never stayed that way for long.  Carter found his head swimming with the sudden spotlight he’d been thrust into.  Moving here was supposed to put Carter and his mother out of everyone’s sights.  Leaving Boston and ending up in this Podunk down was supposed to give them a fresh start so they could build a new life. 

But here, Carter couldn’t fade into the background.  The girls giggled when he opened his mouth and he often heard people mocking his accent.  He couldn’t seem to get his words to fit the slow, sweet drawl of the other kids.  Instead, his vowels dipped and clipped when theirs melted and molded to fit their mouths.  He couldn’t stop the blush that crept up his neck and stained his cheeks when the teachers had to ask him to repeat himself, their ears not used to the Boston attached to his words.

He hated it.  Every goddamn second of it.

Baseball was his refuge, and he’d managed to gain the respect of many of the other boys with his pitching.  He was good and they respected that, which helped, but he was still an outsider.  He was an outsider that couldn’t seem to get away from the stares or the whispers or the rumors.

His mom had coached him on the story they would tell.  Every word was foreign on his tongue and he hated the taste of them.  They were lies, all of them.  His whole life he’d been told that lying was the worst thing a person could do, and here they were, inventing a lifetime of fabricated facts that were ill-fitting and uncomfortable.  They made his skin itch and crawl every time another lie would fall from his lips. 

So, to save them from being spoken, Carter kept silent. 

He opened his mouth only when spoken to by an adult.  He tucked his words into his cheek and let them sit there, getting bitter and hard until he could swallow them and make them disappear.  It was easier for people to make up their own truths about him.  Their lies didn’t hurt and sting.  Their lies floated around like pesky bugs, but eventually, when the sun faded past the horizon, those lies faded too. 

“Ready for the big game?”  Carter’s eyes flicked to the boy next to him and he remembered that he was supposed to be working on his English essay.

“Yeah, I am.”  Word had spread like wild fire that the new kid in town had a rocket for an arm and the discipline to make that arm lethal.  He had become a hero to the other boys on the team, and something of a legend around the school. 

“Eastwood usually kicks our ass every year,” the boy continued, leaning into Carter and attempting a whisper that wasn’t very successful.  “The whole school is depending on you to give ‘em a run for their money.”

“Carter and Brian, you’re not supposed to be talking.”  The teacher’s voice snapped Brian back into his seat.  “Why don’t you two stay after for a minute.  Everyone else, class is over; you can stack your notebooks and head off to lunch.”

Carter dropped his chin to his chest and took a deep breath.  He had promised his mother that he wasn’t going to get in trouble here.  He had sworn an oath that he would keep his head down and work hard and fly under the radar.  So far, he’d failed miserably.  Mr. Timberlake had already spoken to his mother once, and now Carter was getting in trouble for talking.

“Brian, I know how excited you are about the baseball game, but you’ve still got to make it through the school day before you can worry about Carter’s pitching abilities.  So, next time, wait until class is over.”  Mr. Timberlake gave the boy a knowing look and sent him off to lunch.  Next, he turned to Carter.  “So, Mr. Beckett.  Did you bring your lunch today?”

Carter swallowed hard, hoping to rid his throat of the knot that seemed permanent.  “Yes sir.” 

“Why don’t you go get it and join me for lunch?”

Carter hesitated at the door, turning back to face his teacher.  “Am...am I in trouble?”  He fisted his hands and shoved them deep into his pockets to stop their trembling.  He had promised his mother no trouble.

Justin’s face broke out into a smile and he shook his head.  “No, you’re not in trouble.”  He searched the young boy’s face and decided to be honest.  “I see you sneak into the library and eat in the History section.  I figured you’d be more comfortable at a desk.”

“Oh, right.”  Carter let a breath but tensed again, his bright blue eyes looking back up to his teacher.  “Am I in trouble for eating in the library?”

Justin couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth.  He clapped Carter on the shoulder and steered the boy into the hallway toward his locker.  “No, you’re not in any trouble at all.  You can eat in the library, if you’d like.  I just thought maybe we could talk baseball.”

“Oh!”  Carter’s eyes lit up at the thought of talking baseball, so he headed to his locker to grab the lunch his mother had packed for him this morning.

Ever since their move down here, his Mom had been doing everything she could to make him feel more comfortable, including cooking huge dinners every night and packing him a lunch every morning.  Back in Boston lunch would have been a five dollar bill left on the counter with a bottle of water.  Dinner would have been at Gramp’s house where they’d line up their trays around the living room and eat from the microwaveable dishes that the dinners came in.  Gramps and Carter would watch the Red Sox and his Mom would have her nose stuck in a text book or her eyes glued to the computer.

Times had certainly changed.