“Sarah Elaine…”  His voice was strangled as he spoke her name, the breath leaving his body in one long sigh.  “How could you?”

Tears etched permanent tracks down her cheeks as she sniffled.  “Daddy…I’m sorry.”  She stood there, in the living room, her heart breaking as she watched her father fall to pieces in front of her.  “I…”

He held up a hand to stop her.  “What are you going to do?”  His blue eyes bore into hers, asking questions she didn’t have any answers to.

“I don’t know.”  Salty tears fell harder and it was all Sarah could to do keep standing upright.  “I don’t know, Daddy.”  She looked to her father, a man she adored but hadn’t been able to connect with in years.  Unfairly, she blamed him for her mother’s death.  What was worse, he blamed himself, too.

“Oh, Baby.”  He held his arms out and she fell into them, soaking his shirt with her fears and shame.  Red shushed her, “we’ll figure this out.”

She was pregnant.  Eighteen years old and she was going to have a baby.  Sarah hiccupped, falling apart and letting her father hold together the pieces.  She knew her antics worried him, and now she’d just confirmed his biggest fears.  She’d failed him, and she had no idea what she was going to do to make it right.

~*~

Bailey sat up in her bed, sweat soaking her shirt, making it cling to her skin.  Her cheeks were wet with tears, and she reached up to touch them, surprised to find that they were real.

She hadn’t had nightmares like this in a long time, and her body ached with the strain of remembering.  Dinner with Justin had stirred up a lot of things she’d hoped to keep buried, and she was faint with the effort of keeping her emotions at bay.  She tied her hair back, padding into the kitchen so she could calm herself and get a glass of water.

She jumped when she entered the kitchen, startled by the presence of her son.  “What are you doing up?”  A glace at the clock told her it was only two in the morning.  “You should be sleeping.”

He gave her a long, level look.  “You had another nightmare.”  It was a statement, not a question, and Bailey let out a long sigh.

“Sorry I woke you, Bub.”  She poured herself a glass of water, taking a long, slow drink.  “Do you want some ice cream?”  She didn’t wait for his answer, pulling the carton of chocolate out of the freezer and bringing two spoons with her to the table.

Carter took a spoon from her, scooping out a small bite.  “Which one was it this time?”  He asked, his blue eyes cool as they rested on his mother.  She squirmed under his hard gaze; it was one he’d inherited from his father without knowing it.

“When Gramps found out I was pregnant with you.”  It was useless to hide things from Carter, or to lie to him.  Bailey had essentially grown up as Carter grew; they had few secrets between them.

Another mouthful of chocolate ice cream found its way to Carter.  “You haven’t had those in a long time.”  Carter had been aware of his mother’s nightmares since they started.  Before they’d left Boston, her dreams had often been about his father and the things that had sent the two of them into hiding.  Since leaving, her dreams had been a mixture of those and dreams about his Gramps.  Lately, though, it had seemed that the nightmares might stop.  Apparently, he was wrong.

Bailey shrugged, taking a moment to respond by eating more ice cream.  “I guess I’ve just been thinking about Gramps a lot lately.”

A look that should never cross a twelve-year-olds face marred Carter’s features.  He looked too old to be her little boy, and Bailey ached for the loss of his innocence.  “Did something happen with Mr. Timberlake tonight?  You’ve been acting really strange ever since he brought you home.”

He was too astute for his own good.  “Bub, you shouldn’t worry about these things.”

Another stare was sent in her direction.  Carter stood, returning the carton of ice cream to the freezer and setting his spoon in the sink.  “Mom, I’m going to worry if I should or not.  You might as well tell me, or I’ll have to ask Mr. Timberlake.”  He was full of bravado and they both knew it, but Bailey also knew that Carter felt he had to be the man and protect her.

“We we’re just talking about things, Carter.  He asked me some questions and I guess it brought up some old memories.  I’m fine, I promise.  And you can leave your teacher alone.”  She cautioned, not wanting her son to suffer at school because of her.

Carter let out the breath he was holding, his shoulder’s slumping under the weight of everything on his mind.  “Did he ask about my father?”  Again, Bailey was startled by the insightfulness of her son.  She nodded slowly in confirmation.  “What did you tell him?”  When Carter was younger, he’d begged his mother to tell him stories about his father.  He ached to know the man that had created him, the man that his mother had loved for a time.  He hated not knowing about half of where he came from, and his mother was often tight lipped.  When he was eight, she told him that his father was in jail.  He stopped asking questions.

“I didn’t say much,” she confessed.  “I just told him that I was eighteen when I got pregnant with you, and that your father has never been a part of your life.”

Carter watched her, waiting to see if there was more but knowing there wouldn’t be.  With a sigh, he turned toward the door way to the kitchen.  “I’m heading back to bed.  Good night, Mom.”  With a wave, he was gone.

Bailey felt fresh tears pool in her eyes and she wiped at them angrily.  Her weaknesses were causing her son pain and she didn’t know how to fix his hurt.  He had been denied a father, and while Red had been as best a stand-in as possible, now he was gone too.  Bailey tried her best, but she couldn’t be the man that Carter needed in his life.  She couldn’t answer questions that growing boys had, she didn’t understand the importance of sports, and she didn’t get the nuances of pitching.  She was just his mother, and sometimes…sometimes that wasn’t enough.

She cursed the fates that had brought them here.  She cursed Travis, and all his bad boy glory.  She cursed the life she was now forced to lead. 

~*~

Sunday had passed way too quickly and Monday found Bailey with a splitting headache and a mountain of paper work to do.  Amelia was back in the office today, and she kept throwing strange glances in Bailey’s direction, which weren’t helping the headache.

“You look like shit,” was her boss’s comment when she emerged from her office after taking a phone call.  “Spending too much time with Justin?”

The question caught Bailey so off guard that she almost fell out of her chair.  “What?”

Amelia smiled, leaning against Bailey’s desk.  “It’s all over town, darlin’.  Justin Timberlake wined and dined you Saturday, and now you look like hell.  I was just curious.”  She winked and Bailey felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

“It was just dinner.”  She mumbled, knowing that fighting off people’s assumptions was going to be worthless.  “There’s nothing going on between us.”

A disbelieving sound came from Amelia’s throat.  “Right, and I’m the queen of England.”  She patted Bailey on the shoulder and stood, “It’s only a matter of time, darlin’.” 

“What does that mean?”  The younger girl asked.

Amelia gave Bailey a long look.  “Justin Timberlake has been Shelby Forest’s most wanted bachelor since he was in high school.  He keeps to himself mostly, and everyone just figured he’d spend his life just like that.  The fact that he’s taking an interest to you is a big deal, and it’s only a matter of time before there’s something going on between the two of you.”

Bailey shook her head emphatically.  “I have a son.  I’m in no hurry to be in any sort of relationship.”

“So you just wanted the free dinner?” was her boss’s retort.

“No…I…he asked.”  Her sentence ended feebly.  How could she convince people that there were no feelings between her and Justin when they’d already made up their minds?  “He asked me to dinner, as friends.  I don’t want a relationship.”

Amelia’s eyes were trained out the window as she responded to Bailey’s statement.  “You spend enough time letting that boy focus his attention on you; you’ll want everything he’s willing to give.”  With that, she stood and walked back into her office, calling over her shoulder to tell Bailey not to disturb her.

Bailey was slightly confused at Amelia’s exit, but when she turned her head to see who had just walked in the door, it all made sense.  Justin sauntered in, perching a pair of aviator’s on top of his slightly curly head.  Bailey cringed inwardly, knowing that he was only adding more fuel to the fire by visiting her at work.  She’s purposely avoided going anywhere on Sunday so she wouldn’t run into him.  She was starting to feel comfortable around him and that was dangerous; she might spill secrets.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Beckett.”  His drawl was thick and heavy as he grinned at her over the reception desk.

“Amelia is busy right now.  Did you have an appointment?”  She checked the calendar in front of her, already knowing the answer but not wanted to face it.

“No, no appointment.  I just came to see how you were doing.”  He settled his hip against the edge of the desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m just fine, thanks.”  Bailey had no idea what to say to this man right now.  She had enjoyed dinner, but she was afraid of his intentions.  If she spent more time with him, would he get the wrong idea?  “How was teaching?”

He shrugged.  “It’s almost the end of the year, they’ve all checked out anyway.”  He shifted his weight, leaning in a little closer.  “I was wondering if you and Carter wanted to come to the cookout my mom is having.”  He saw her hesitation and was quick to dispel her doubts.  “It’s going to be small, really just my family.  I’m bringing my brothers over, they’re Carter’s age.”

Bailey had no idea how to respond.  Saying yes meant adding to the rumors that she was already wary of.  Saying no, on the other hand, meant that sudden, awkward tension between the two of them.  “I’ll have to run in by Carter.  He’s got practice tonight, so he might not be up for it.”

Although his smile didn’t falter, Justin seemed to deflate a little.  He covered nicely, though, reaching over to grab a pen from the cup on Bailey’s desk.  “Well, when you figure it out, here’s my cell number.  Just call and let me know.  I can give you directions, too, if you need them.”

Bailey stared at the digits on the paper, forcing herself to smile through her apprehension.  “I’ll let you know.”  She gave him a wave as he stepped out of the office door, sighing when he was out of sight.  “Shit.” 

Amelia’s voice floated down the hall way.  “You know you want to go.”

Bailey wondered if it would be rude to flip her boss the finger.