I have bite marks on my boobs.
While Braeden was never that raunchy, a part of me almost wished he was. There’s something about incorporating a little bit of roughness into intercourse that drives me wild. No, I’m not about to break out the whips and leather or anything but...
It was fun, doing that with Justin.
What the hell is going on? It’s the one question that’s been repeating itself over and over in my mind since I woke up this morning. The tension was rising so rapidly inside of me when I woke up, that I thought I was going to snap at Justin. Flip out because I was fucking scared, confused...
But when he pressed his warm, naked, muscular body up against mine, and kissed my neck, all of those feelings seemed to melt away.
It’s like...when he’s with me, showing me his good side, I don’t worry about anything. Braeden disappears from my memory. The more I think about that the more it hurts too. I tried to remember how Braeden’s laughter sounded this morning as I was getting the boys dressed. I closed my eyes, and thought, and thought about it...
I couldn’t remember.
Justin had left me in a fog, forcing me to focus on him, to think about him all morning long. I was sure we would talk later, and I had no idea what that conversation would entail. Would he go to work and realize he’d made a mistake? That he was too good for me, or that he didn’t really want to be in a relationship? As much as I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem just being friends with him, at this point, we’re in too deep. It’s like, we can’t turn back now because...we’ve slept together and since it’s been six years since I’ve had any male interaction, that’s a big deal to me.
Anything other than a relationship with him at this point would mean disaster, and since I can’t desert the boys...I know I’m going to have to make this work one way or the other.
But shit, am I even ready? Am I ready to just...leave Braeden behind, move on with my life?
“Of course you are.” Charlene says to me. “Stop saying that you don’t know if you’re ready. Fuck, Abbey, it’s been six damn years. Give yourself a break, okay? My god, a rich, powerful, and handsome man has decided that he’d like nothing more than to bang you silly all night long. I mean, shit, I’ll take him if you don’t want him.”
I called Charlene this morning and asked her if she would meet me at the playground. It had been weeks since I talked to her, and I felt really bad about it. She understood of course. She told me that she knew Justin was probably bossing me around, and she was happy. She was happy because it meant I didn’t have a chance to focus on anything else in my life, like the past. “Char, this is big deal.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “I know. He’s your boss. Okay so...I mean, lots of people sleep with their bosses. This is New York City after all.”
I sigh as she lights up another cigarette and takes a long drag. I glance out at the playground and see Davey and Austin both on the swings. They’ve been really good for me today, surprisingly enough. I think Austin could tell Justin and I were in a weird mood this morning though. When Justin left for work, Austin asked me if I had a boyfriend, to which I told him that I used to have one but at the moment I didn’t. He dropped the subject, but still...I know he’s too smart for his own good and he’s going to figure out what’s going on really quick. It’s so important my relationship with Justin is healthy for the boys too, and I really need him to understand that.
“What happens if something goes wrong?” I say to her. “It wouldn’t be so bad if the kids weren’t involved. I can’t just...leave him if things get rough, you know? The boys need me. We’re too close now for me to disappear on them.”
She nods a little, seeming to understand. “Look, I’ve dated guys like Justin Timberlake before. Maybe they weren’t as rich as him, but they sure as hell knew what they wanted in their lives. Guys like Justin...they don’t latch onto a woman so easily. From what you’re telling me, he seems to be completely into you...like more than just a fuck friend. I mean, the guy took you to look at abstract Italian art,” she laughs. “I know you’re scared right now and you’re trying to think of every reason to back out of this, but you need to give it a chance. Braeden was special, I know he was, but do you really think he’d want you to be alone forever?”
I look down at my sneakers and close my eyes, knowing what the correct answer is right away. We discussed it actually, Braeden and I, when he first enlisted in the reserves.
“So if something happens to me, I want you to make sure you find a really rich man who will take care of you.”
“Braeden,” I groaned after he swept me up in a small kiss. “You’re doing a great job of making me paranoid.”
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I just want to make sure that you won’t turn into some kind of hermit if something happens, that’s all.”
I just smiled at him because I was positive nothing bad could possibly happen to him. “I won’t turn into a cave woman,” I laughed.
“Promise?” He narrowed his eyes at me and smirked. “And you’ll find a rich man?”
“God, you’re ridiculous. Yes!”
It makes me sick to my stomach, looking back on that conversation now.
I guess Braeden is sort of getting his wish.
Maybe he’s watching over me right now, happy that I’ve found Justin. If he could, he would probably tell me to screw my head on straight and be happy...live my life.
I guess I should.
I know I care about Justin now. It’s not a question of that, it’s a question of how far I’m willing to go to make our relationship work, and how far is he as well.
I glance at my watch and realize how late it already is. I’ve been talking to Charlene about my issues for over three hours, and soon it will be time for dinner. I call the boys and they come running over to the bench that we’ve been sitting on all this time. “You guys need baths before dinner,” I laugh. “You’re both filthy.”
Austin shrugs. “I’m not filthy. Davey was the one playing in the sandbox before.”
Dave scowls a little and crosses his arms at his brother, as if he’s angry at him for throwing him under the bus.
“You have dirt on your nose,” Charlene points out. “Want me to lick my finger and wipe it off?”
“Ew,” Austin says, trying to scowl but can’t seem to help but smile. “That’s gross.”
Charlene licks her finger. “Come ‘ere!”
“No!” Austin half moans half laughs as he wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my shoulder. “Abbey!”
“Are you going to take a bath when we get home?” I say, spanking his butt playfully.
“I will!”
“Okay, then Charlene will put her spit finger away,” I laugh. “Come on, lets go home.”r32;
Davey takes my hand and the four of us walk out of the playground and back onto the city sidewalk. Charlene follows us as far as the subway station nearest to Justin’s place, and we say goodbye.
“Keep me updated,” she says, as she hugs me tightly. “Okay?”r32;
I sigh a little as I pull back from her embrace. “I will.”
“You better do this, at least...try,” she says to me quietly, as to not alert the boys. “It’s worth it, Abbey.”
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I roll my eyes at her, and she laughs and shakes her head as she makes her way down the subway stairs. Then she’s gone again. The boys and I walk the four blocks back home, and as soon as we get inside, Austin doesn’t hesitate to tell me he’s getting in the bath. I smile, tell him that he’s been behaving very well today and I’ll try to do something for him tomorrow.
“Kind of like...a reward. Like Justin gave you?” He questions. “When he took you to dinner?”
God, no. Not that kind of reward. “Um, more like an ice cream cone or something,” I blush.
“Do you like my brother,” he finally asks.
“Davey?” I ask stupidly. “Of course.”r32;
“I meant Justin,” he states, bluntly.
“Oh...” I trail off and quickly try to think of the right thing to say. “Well he’s my boss, you know that. We get along.”
“He’s nicer to you than he is to anybody else,” he mutters. “At least...now he is.”
“We understand each other,” I huff. “Your brother has...a hard time opening up to people. You know that.”
Austin nods and looks at the floor for a moment. He does that a lot, as if he has something on his mind but never says exactly what it is. He holds back, and that’s why he’s always angry, but at the moment, I know it’s not the best time to address that issue with him.
“Abbey, do you think he’ll come to my first game?”
It’s his way of asking me if Justin really cares about him. He has so much hope in his eyes too, like having his brother there to watch him play means everything to him, and fuck, come hell or high water, I will get Justin to that game even if it kills me. “I’m going to make sure of it.” I say, with a small smile.
“I dunno...he’ll probably have a meeting.”
“Hey.” I approach him slowly, crouch down so I can meet his level and run my fingers through his mess of springy curls. “He loves you. You know that, right?”
I see the tears creeping down his face. It’s a first for him. He’s never just...broken down in front of me before. He’s strong willed, like Justin, doesn’t like to look “lame” in the eyes of others. Davey is the sensitive one. It’s partially why he doesn’t talk much at all.
“I don’t think...I don’t think he does,” Austin whispers. “He had to bring me here, because he wanted Davey.”
I sigh heavily and pull him into a tight hug. “He’s coming around,” I whisper as he clings to me...so tight. “And he wanted both of you. I know he did.”
“Y-you think?” he hiccups.
I pull away, and flash him a wider smile as I wipe his tears away and kiss his cheek. “I know it, Austin.”
He sighs and nods a little. “I’ll get in the tub.”
“Please do. You smell like poo.”
I laugh and he laughs harder as he wanders away from me. Well...I think Austin and I might have just had our very first breakthrough. I can only hope Justin can have one with him sooner rather than later. It’s more important for them to bond. Maybe I can get them to go out together by themselves some night soon. I should look into that, maybe...surprise them somehow. Maybe if I talk to Cheryl, she can figure out a way to get it done without Justin finding out about it.
Yeah, that might work.
I put Davey in the bath while Austin takes his in another bathroom. He’s eight, but you wouldn’t know it. He still likes somebody to be with him while he’s in the tub. I found that out the hard way, the very first time I ever put him down for a bath. He screamed his head off when I walked out on him, and so...I have been mandated to stay with him whenever his bath time comes around. He perfectly happy that way. He plays with his toys, and lets me wash his hair for him. Those are surefire signs that this kid was babied from the moment he was born. He’s a momma’s boy all the way. Then it hits me...
Austin may have been shoved to the side by his mother, her focus having been taken up solely by Davey from the moment he was born.
I’m not sure of course, but...the way he vies for attention from Justin, his teacher, and me is a good indication that I’m right.
I’d ask Justin about his mother too, what she was like, but... I seriously doubt it’s the first subject he wants to discuss with me when he walks through the door.
Lucinda has set the dining room for us to eat in tonight. I realize that it’s the first time we’ve eaten in here since I took the job. It’s very nice, filled with various pieces of art and precious keepsakes that I’m sure Justin spent a lot of time and a lot of money collecting. I get a little nervous as I sit down. It’s no place for two little kids to be running around, and I don’t hesitate to remind them both not to touch anything when they join me at the table.
“It’s fancy in here,” Davey whispers, his eyes wide as he gazes around the room.
I stare at him for a moment, trying my best not to make a big deal that he just spoke up. Francine says it’s better to treat it as an every day occurrence, so he feels more welcome to doing it more and more. “Yes, it is,” I say, as Lucinda puts out some bread for us. “That’s why we all need to be careful.” Austin grabs a piece of bread and begins to butter it himself, while I prepare Davey’s for him.
“Very careful.”
I look over my shoulder, and gasp a little when I see Justin leaning against the doorframe. I eye the large grandfather clock in the corner of the room. It’s only five forty five, much too early for him to be home. I expected him at seven, the earliest. I guess he made it a point to prove me wrong, to show me that he could keep his word if he really wanted to. “Hey,” I say lightly.
He takes off his blazer, and swings it over his shoulder as he enters the room. “Hey.”
He takes a seat. Austin stares at him, Davey shoves his bread in his mouth and I just fiddle with my napkin.
“Everybody’s so quiet,” he snickers as he pulls the napkin off his plate and puts it on his lap. “What happened today?”
“Nothing,” I say, with a small laugh. “It’s just...you’re never home this early.”
“Hey, I said I’d be home for dinner.” He winks at me a little bit as he grabs a roll and begins to butter it. “I’m a man of my word.”
“Yeah right,” Austin scoffs.
Justin looks at him for a long moment, before rolling his eyes and focusing back on me again. “So I thought we could go to Southhampton this weekend,” he says, as Lucinda carries in a tray of food for us, and sets it down in the center of the table. “I haven’t been to the house in a while and pretty soon it’ll be too cold to bother.”
“The house?” I say, nonchalantly as I peer at our main course...roasted chicken with baby potatoes and vegetables. It smells so good, I can barely focus on anything else. Not even Justin.
“Yeah, I have a weekend house out there,” Justin tells me. “It’s right on the beach. The boys will like it. It’s great. There’s no crowds, no distractions. You up for it Ab?”
The professional level between Justin and I has officially become non existent. Now I’m just Ab to him, and soon, soon I’ll probably slip up and start calling him J. Things are definitely changing, and it’s all I can think about as I pile some food onto Davey’s plate and cut it up for him. It’s so weird to see Justin like this, home from work, carefree, smiling. It’s like somebody has taken evil stock market Justin away and replaced him with family man of the year Justin instead. Is it me? Have I really been able to change him this much over the span of a few weeks? It seems...impossible, that I could have. “I...I mean, sure,” I say, not quite meeting his gaze. “Austin, doesn’t that sound nice?”
“I don’t care,” he mutters.
I stare at Justin, waiting for him to start swearing at his brother. For a moment it seems like he might do it too. His expression is dark, his cheek bones jutted in annoyance, but...he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me, and begins to calm down. “So we’ll go,” he nods. “Just go buy whatever you need for the boys, and pack up. I’ll leave you a list of what I need too. We can leave on Friday afternoon and come back Monday night. I already called Dalton, and they said it’s fine if Austin comes back on Tuesday.”
I raise an eyebrow, completely shocked that he was able to keep his cool, and also shocked that he’s taking a long weekend when it’s not a holiday. All of that combined with the fact that he took it upon himself to call Dalton tells me that Justin is just...a completely different person as of today. “Okay,” I chuckle. “But, what about work?”
He shrugs. “I have an office set up there, so I’ll conference from the house on Monday morning, but that’s it. It’s...it’s been awhile since I’ve taken an extra day for myself. On Labor Day I...I actually went into the office,” he says, shaking his head a little bit. “I’m about due for a small break, and things are going to start picking up so I should take it while I can.”
I would stand up and applaud him for joining the human race, but I doubt his brothers would look at me the same. I just smile softly at him instead, and start to eat my dinner.
“I like the beach.” Davey says softly, after a while.
Justin smiles at me and then beams at his youngest brother. “Yeah, me too, buddy. Hey Austin, you know what? I think Kristy is going to come too.”
Austin seems to brighten at this. “Does she like soccer?”
Justin chuckles and takes a bite of his chicken. “I think she might play. Bring your ball. I’m sure you guys could play, even if she doesn’t. You can show her some moves.”
I however, have not brightened at this news. It means Trace and Sydney are coming. Here I was thinking that it was going to be a weekend away, with just the four of us. Naturally though, Justin needs to include his best friend in everything he does. “Trace is coming?”r32;
Justin looks at me, like he knew I wouldn’t approve. “Yeah...it’s a big place. We always go together, every year.”
“Oh.”
I continue to eat my dinner in silence, and Justin doesn’t stop me. I don’t think he wants to get into a heated argument in front of the boys, which is good. They’re having a good evening followed by a good day, and it’s not fair to spoil it for them. We finish our dinners and then Lucinda brings out two different kinds of cake for dessert. I allow the boys to have two pieces each, and when they’re finished I tell them to get into their pajamas so they can watch cartoons until it’s time for bed. Austin gets excited and asks me if he’s off punishment, since I’ve stuck like glue to the rule that he can’t watch any TV since he had the fight at school. I smile and tell him I’m letting him have time off for good behavior and he grins and gives me a quick hug before racing off to change, Davey hot on his heels.
Then Justin and I are left alone at the table. We’re quiet for a very long time. Justin plays with his phone, chewing nervously on his bottom lip, most likely because he knows I’m not thrilled with him slipping Trace into the long weekend like this. It’s like, he’s leaving me with no choice. I’m sure he and Trace have already talked about this, planned it, and he can’t just call the guy up and tell him not to come. It sucks. I’ll spend the whole weekend avoiding that guy and his bitch of a girlfriend. But hey, at least the boys will be happy.
That’s all that matters, right?
“It won’t be so bad,” Justin speaks up finally.
“Don’t,” I scoff and shake my head. “The past twenty four hours have been awkward enough.”
He lowers his head slightly. “Are we gonna talk about it?”
I shrug. “I’m a little annoyed.”
“Look, we’ll have a good time,” he tries to reassure me. “It’s more of a vacation for Trace and Syd anyway. They usually spend most of their time in seclusion. They won’t bother you.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s not the point,” I tell him. “You know it’s not. They dont like me, and I don’t like them. Now you and I have started...whatever we’ve started. Do you really think it’s going to be easy having them around while we’re hanging out?”
He shrugs. “He’s my best friend. I can’t just...drop him.”
“Well fine,” I laugh. “I never said you had to drop him. I just don’t...I don’t really see the point in doing this with you if it’s going to be awkward all the time.”
He stands up because I have too. “You’re the only one who’s making it awkward!” He exclaims. “We had a good night...a good morning and now I want to go away with you for the weekend. Why can’t you just focus on that? Maybe...maybe Trace just needs to spend some time getting to you know you. He’s pretty stubborn, I mean...once he gets to know you he’ll understand.”
I suddenly realize it was his plan all along. He figured getting Trace and I trapped in the same house for the weekend, would force us to get along. Justin...he’s weak even though nobody else realizes it. He couldn’t tell his friend to back off the night he called me “the help” and he can’t tell him to back off during his weekend vacation in the Hamptons either. He just wants everybody to get along blissfully in his perfect little world. “It’s not happening,” I find myself saying out loud. “We have nothing in common, Justin. He’s just a pompous asshole to me, and his girlfriend is no better.”
“Well I want you there,” he says softly. “Doesn’t that count?”
I sigh heavily and place my hands on the table. I stare down at them, trying to think, trying to figure out a way to make this whole awkward situation go away. Fuck, if I’d just kept to myself...not opened up to him, I doubt I would even be in this situation. We never would have kissed, and we certainly wouldn’t have spent the night together if I’d done that. “I don’t know what counts,” I mutter. “I’m fucking confused. I’ve been confused since we kissed on the pier and completely weirded out since we...you know.”
He smirks a little bit and strokes his chin. “I thought you liked it.”
I hate it when he’s cocky. “That’s not the point!”
“Abbey.” He steps around the table so he can stand before me. I back away slightly, giving him the hint that I don’t want him to touch me right now. “Look, I don’t want to push you into something with me and then have you regret it later. That wasn’t my intention last night. We were both into the moment. My life is hectic as hell and it’s not slowing down. If you want to stop, that’s fine. I’m not going to pressure you, but I can’t help it, you know...the way I feel about you now.”
I feel my face burning, and I have to look away from him so he won’t see how obvious it is...the way he makes me feel when he looks at me that way, smiles...lets me know that he cares about me. “You need to sort out what the most important things are in your life, Justin,” I finally say.
“I already know what they are,” he says, seriously. “I mean, I didn’t for a while but...I think I do now. I don’t really know what you did...or where you came from, but you...you just make me think, you know? I have this clarity now, I can see past the business side of my life more. I know I need to be here for the boys and give them a better home life...and I know...I know I don’t want to spend my time with any other woman besides you.”
He’s not lying. I know he’s not. Char was right, he does know exactly what he wants, and I guess that’s my fault for opening his eyes and showing him all the goodness in his life that he was missing out on. “How can you be so sure about me, after just a couple of weeks,” I rasp.
He smiles, so gently, and cups my face with his hand. “I just...do.”
He doesn’t give me another chance to protest, before his lips are pressed against mine, and I find myself losing my mind in the kiss. I’m done, officially. A mess over him. It’s not fair. I mean, I was pissed, and rightfully so. Damn him. Damn him and his kisses...how sweet he can be when nobody else is around. I pull away. “I guess I’ll try to tolerate Trace,” I grunt.
He grins devilishly. “See? That wasn’t so hard was it?”
Oh, I hate him. “You’re a jerk.”
He kisses me anyway, and unfortunately, I let him. Boy, Charlene sure would love this. “You spendin the night?” He whispers, sucking on my neck a little bit.
“Justin...” I sigh.
“Yeah?”
I look at him, immediately forgetting the reason why I was about to protest. I’m lost in his eyes and his smile, the way his large, wonderful hands are rubbing themselves up and down my back, reassuring me that he’s not going anywhere. “I...I forgot.”
He just laughs, and after spending a couple of mindless hours watching TV with the kids, we tuck them into bed, and I find myself in his bed with him immediately afterward, his arms wrapped tightly around me. He talks to me for a while about how he’s going to play golf with Trump tomorrow, how he’s nervous about it. I tell him that he shouldn’t be because he’s come so far in his life, and that it’s a good match with Trump, even though I have no idea what it takes to run a business whatsoever. It doesn’t matter though. My words reassure him, because he smiles, pulls me closer and kisses my forehead.
“Anything you want,” he whispers next. “You tell me and it’s yours.”
I roll my eyes. “Justin, I don’t want anything from you.”
“I figured you’d say that,” he laughs, gently. “So I set you up another appointment with Roberta.”
I groan. “Oh god, Justin. Not her.”
“Why not,” he snickers. “Her face may be full of botox but she knows all about fashion. Just go there and get yourself a new closet full of clothes. I want you to. You should have the best of everything, Abbey.”
“Including naughty lingerie?” I roll my eyes.
“If...um...if that’s what you want.” His cheeks turn pink and he tries to hold back his laughter, but fails.
“I know it’s what you want.”
“It’s gonna come off anyway,” he tells me with a sly smile. “I like you best when you’re naked,” he laughs.
“Pig.”
But I let him take me again, just like last night. I can’t stop myself. I’m done, finished, he has complete control of my emotions now.
I have found a rich man that will take care of me, and I care about him a lot. I really do. All should be right with the world.
But deep down inside, there’s still something missing, even though it keeps escaping my memory, and I keep forgetting small things that I used to love about him. Justin can’t replace him. Nobody can. I need to get over it. Braeden is gone. This is reality, and I’m moving forward, I am, once and for all.
But getting past a parasite like Trace, I know, isn’t going to be easy at all.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here you go guys!! Enjoy!
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
