It’s weird. All of a sudden I’m not the nanny anymore. Ever since the Hamptons, I’ve been more like...Justin’s girlfriend. We haven’t put the official label on it or anything yet, and frankly, Justin has been so busy with everything going on at work that we haven’t had a chance to discuss this new step in our ‘relationship’ yet.
It’ll come. It basically already has, but I won’t push it yet. Not until all this drama with Trace blows over anyway.
Just knowing how much Justin cherishes me is enough for the time being.
The moment I turned on the news this morning all they could seem to talk about was
Trace Ayala and his dirty deeds. They highlighted his career and went on to talk about the Merrill Lynch case he'd been involved in years ago. He was a sleaze even then. A
child of rich parents, he attended Harvard and received a masters in both accounting and business. He lost his entire financial reputation when it was discovered he helped embezzle nearly three million dollars from his company. He was young though, and had no priors, so he was granted immunity for his testimony. The only reason he made it back to the top was because he took Justin under his wing and taught him everything he knew about Wall Street, helped him to grow, to become promoted, knowing that when Justin made it big, he would become his right hand man.
He used Justin. He knew he was vulnerable, undereducated, but determined enough to dig himself out of that lifestyle, so Trace made sure his friend succeeded for his own selfish desires.
I hate him for that most of all.
They cut live to a press conference after featuring Trace’s life story. I watched as Justin stepped up to the podium, looking worn down and ragged due to all the stress he'd been put through over the past couple of weeks. I hated what it was doing to him, and prayed the press conference and pre trial hearing would pass quickly. Justin was straight and to the point, formally apologizing to his clients first and foremost before going on to explain the situation. He remained strong through his statement, looked every bit the leader and business man I knew he was.
I was so proud of him, even more so when he forfeited the rest of his day to spend time with us. I was fully prepared for him to miss Austin's first game. I figured he'd be overburdened with calls and meetings, and given the situation his business was slightly more important than the boys. But he pushed that all to the side.
I guess he really has changed.
“Come on Austin!” I cheer and clap my hands like he’s my own kid, as I watch him run around the soccer field.
Even though today has been one of the most hectic Justin has faced in a while, you'd never know anything happened to him at all. He’s sitting next to me, Davey on his lap, watching Austin play with a small smile on his face. It’s like Trace sitting in a prison cell has become a distant memory to him. Work in general...seems to have become a distant memory to him too. It’s shocking, but at the same time, it’s what I’ve wanted from him all along. He has a special bond with Austin and Davey now. I’m not the only one parenting them anymore, and that’s the way things need to be from now on.
I just hope it lasts.
“What? Where’s the whistle! Hey! Austin!” Justin yells out after his brother is pushed to the ground by some other kid. “Don’t take that from that kid! Get him back! Knock his ass down!”
“Justin,” I nudge him a little and roll my eyes. “People are staring. It's bad enough
that your face has been all over the news for the past couple of days without drawing more attention to yourself."
“I don’t care,” he shrugs a little bit. “That’s my brother. Nobody gets to push him around without hearing about it from me. What the hell is that coach doing anyway? That center doesn’t know where the hell he’s going. Austin should be playing center. He’s a natural, like me.”
Justin has never told me about his history with soccer, but I can tell that he has a passion for it, just by witnessing his attitude here today. “Okay, Mr. Beckham,” I
chuckle. “They’re just kids. This isn’t the World Cup.”
“Hey, I’m just telling you the truth. If Austin sucked, if he didn’t have captain potential, I never would have let you put him on a soccer field. I think next summer we should enroll him in soccer camp. It’ll really boost his game. They have a great one in upstate New York. Beckham has even taught a few classes there.”
I shoot him a skeptical smile. “Do you really think Austin is that serious about soccer?”
Justin simply chuckles and throws me a cocky grin. “He will be.”
There he goes again, trying to turn Austin into a little version of himself. It irks me so much. I want the boys to have their own personalities, and Justin has so many resources available to him that they won’t have a problem doing that on their own.
Justin needs to stand down a little bit, find out if this is something Austin really wants to do, but I know if I say anything, I’ll be shut down. Justin is set in his ways when it comes to the boys. Granted, his attitude toward them has changed a ton, and that’s great, but the way he wants them to grow up seems etched into his mind permanently. It doesn’t concern me so much with Austin as it does with Davey. Austin is strong willed and if Justin tries to push him into something, he’ll just fight back and Justin will realize he’s wrong pretty quickly. Davey is the impressionable one, because he’s younger and he’s been traumatized. Justin and I are all he knows, and if Justin tells him that he wants him to do something...like attend a regular school, I know he’ll do it simply to win Justin’s affection. That’s very bad. I don’t want to see Davey become more messed up than he already is.
"I still think you should talk it out with him," I say softly. "In a couple of months he might find something else that interests him. You know, Ms. Parks told me this week that
Austin has been a lot more cooperative since he came back to school. He's been speaking out in class and even wrote a few entries in his journal. She says he's a good writer for his age. It might be something he can develop over time."
He sighs a little. "Come on, Ab. There’s more out there for him. I mean, I'm not against him excelling at Dalton. English is a great tool. I want him to have good reading and writing skills. I want the same thing for Davey too," he pauses, smiles, and ruffles Davey's hair a little. "But when it comes to extracurriculars he belongs in a sports program. It's in his blood. Davey will do the same thing once he learns to toughen up a little more."
I sigh. "I just don't see why Austin should be forced into an activity. He should have the final say."
Justin smirks at me slightly and leans in closer to me. "Isn't Austin the one who asked you to sign him up for soccer?"
"Well, yeah...but..."
He gently kisses my lips, silencing me. "Then why are we arguing?"
"I guess I just feel like you're going to put too much pressure on him." I say it lightly.
Really, this is a heavy conversation to be having with him on a day like today. Even though Justin is acting even tempered right now, it doesn't mean he's not thinking about a million different things. I know I could set him off if I push too hard, and I can't afford to do that. At the same time though, I've never been one to stand down from my opinions, and the ones I’m voicing right now are really important to me.
"Christ, I'm not going to pressure him." He rolls his eyes.
"You were just yelling at him five minutes ago."
"That was encouragement."
"Oh, please," I groan. "The next thing you'll be doing is calling the coach on the phone so Austin will be able to play the position you want him in.”
"Nah," he chuckles. "I might as well just coach the team myself."
"Oh yeah," I laugh. "Coach Timberlake. Like you'd ever make time for that."
"Hey," he scowls. "I made time for this, and look what I had to put up with all day."
"Coming to one game and coaching an entire season are two completely different things," I tell him seriously. "And...don't take this the wrong way, I'm really glad you're
here, but I'm like ninety percent sure you forgot that Austin's game was today anyway."
He laughs harshly and puts Davey down next to him, so he can cross his arms at me. "What the hell...I'm here!"
"You didn't even mention the game this morning, Justin. It was obvious that you forgot about it, and Austin noticed too. That’s why I told him that you wouldn’t be coming after you went to work this morning, so he wouldn’t be disappointed later."
"I just sent the best friend I have in the world to prison," he snaps at me. "I'm sorry if the rest of the days events slipped my damn mind."
"I told you that I understood. I'm just trying to make a point with you! You're too busy to coach a soccer team. What if something came up...like today. What would you do?
Cancel the game?"
"If that's what it came down to," he mutters.
I know that’s the best thing he can come up with. “Look, practicing with Austin on your own is good enough.” I smile for him a little bit and he allows me to loop my arm through his, despite the fact that he’s staring out at the soccer field with a stern expression on his face. “That means the world to him, you know?”
“I just want him to be good,” he grunts. “He has the potential to be good, Abbey. I have the ability to get him the best training possible, so why shouldn’t he have it?”
“I just...I know him ,and I think it’s a lot of pressure for him, that’s all.” There’s more to this. It stems from deep inside of him. Again, there’s a lot he’s not telling me, but right now..it’s just not the right time to discuss it. “I think trying the best he can should be good enough, Justin. Look how well he’s doing. A month ago, he couldn’t even be around other kids. You...you’ve helped to change him.”
He shakes his head a little and slowly looks over at me. “The only person who changed him was you, Abbey.”
I look down at my lap and suck in my bottom lip. “I dunno.”
“You did,” he whispers. “And...you showed me what I wasn’t doing. I love him, I love both of them. I just...I guess I was too scared to give them that love in the beginning. I didn’t know what to do. My parents, they...”
“Justin.” I put my hand on his cheek and kiss his lips softly. “We’ll talk at home, okay?” I glance at Davey as I say it, and Justin sighs because he gets my point.
“Yeah.”
He leans into me, and I rub a hand reassuringly across his shoulders. Moments later, the ball is passed to Austin, and he kicks it into the goal.
“That’s my boy!” Justin jumps up and does a couple of fist pumps before clapping his hands loudly for his brother. “Yeah! Yeah buddy! That’s how to show ‘em!”
All the parents around us stare, but I know Justin couldn't care less what they think of him. After all, I seriously doubt he’ll be coming to another one of these for a long time. Even though he’s trying to be dedicated right now, I know he’s going to get too busy. It’s not his fault. He has a corporation to run.
Davey looks at me and starts to laugh, and I just pull him towards me as we clap our hands for Austin.
In all, it’s been an interesting afternoon.
Austin’s team wins the game, and he comes bounding towards me once the coach dismisses the team. I grab him up and swing him around in my arms for a moment before putting him down and ruffling his hair. “That was great, Aus,” I smile. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Justin!” Austin hugs me around my waist and smiles up at his brother. “You saw my goal!”
“I did,” Justin grins widely at him and pats him on the shoulder. “You were good, but you gotta stay focused. Once you get that goal you gotta forget about it. You have to move on to the next thing, okay? You gotta show the coach that you’re better than just a line man. You’re good enough to be center, but you have to prove yourself first. You have to show him you’re serious.”
Austin eyes me quickly as if he doesn’t understand, before looking back at Justin and nodding a little. “O-okay.”
“We’ll work on it though,” Justin promises as he lifts Davey up onto his shoulders for a piggy back ride across the park. “You and me.”
I don’t say anything. I know if I do, I’ll just end up angry and the boys don’t deserve to see me that way. Austin holds my hand as we trek across the park to meet Quincy, and Justin stops at the Mister Softee truck before we get to the car, to buy Austin and Davey some ice cream to celebrate.
I guess it was the wrong move.
The photographers seem to come out of nowhere, reporters too. They start shouting questions in Justin’s face about Trace, about me, and it causes him to bump into Davey who immediately drops the beautiful new ice cream cone in his hands. The kid starts screaming and crying, but the press people don’t let up. They just don’t care. These aren’t the civilized kind. They are paparazzi. Austin yells at them to get away, but naturally that doesn’t do any good either.
“Abbey get them out of here!” Justin yells at me. “Get the boys out of here!”
I don’t think. I just grab both the boys by their hands and pull them away from the scene. Austin didn’t even get his ice cream. A photographer follows us, shoving his camera my face, in the boys faces. Davey clings to me and cries like he’s the most scared he’s been since I’ve known him. Quincy is just feet away. I can see him leaning out the car window, his eyes wide, obviously frightened for the boys and for myself.
“Get the fuck away from them!”
The photographer is shoved forward, away from us. I gasp and pull the boys to a halt, as he collides with the sidewalk, his camera shattering into a few large pieces all around him. He starts screaming about how he’s going to sue, but I couldn’t care less. I look up then, and I see Justin standing there, out of breath. He has a cut on his lip, obviously from warding off the other rowdy press members that he just encountered. I start to sob, as I stand in the middle of the sidewalk, clinging tightly to the boys hands.
God, the whole world has gone nuts.
“C’mon,” Justin says, panting harshly as he reaches me and throws a protective arm around my shoulders. “C’mon you’re okay.”
He kisses my forehead and guides us towards the awaiting Escalade.
I just want to go home.
“Sir, I’m so sorry,” Quincy says as he gets out of the car and opens the door for all of us. “I didn’t see them.”
“Not your fault,” he grumbles, and lets me and the boys in ahead of him.
I’m still shaking as I get in the car. Davey buries his face in my side and Austin just sits there by the window, staring straight ahead, like he doesn’t know what to do.
“Hey.”
Justin is rubbing my back gently as Quincy pulls the car away from the curb. I can’t say anything to him. I can barely look at him.
“I’d never let anybody hurt you,” he whispers, and I can feel him pressing his lips to my neck. “Abbey, I’m sorry.”
“It’s...it was just sudden,” I whimper. “I’m okay.”
He laces his fingers through mine and rubs his thumb across the top of my hand. “I’ll hire security,” he says to me gently. “This is ridiculous. They’re animals.”
“Justin. I don’t know...”
“It’s the best thing for now,” he tells me gently.
It forces me to look at him. “Won’t this blow over soon enough?”
He shrugs. “I...I can’t say for sure. You saw what happened. They know who you are now...who the boys are. I can’t risk them cornering you when I’m not around, Ab.”
I don’t say anything else, because there isn’t anything to say. I know Justin’s mind is made up, and I guess in the long run it’ll be better for the boys. Different, but better. I have to wake up I guess, realize that my life isn’t normal anymore. I’ve been living like I’m the same old girl I’ve always been for all this time, and it’s just occurring to me now who I am...the girlfriend of the most powerful Wall Street giant in Manhattan. Is it more than I can handle? I want to say no.
But...but that was so, so scary.
“Ab, you’re it for me, you know?” Justin speaks up after a while. “I care about you, and the boys. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re all okay.”
I look at him, the tears flooding my eyes and blurring my vision automatically. “I was scared,” I whisper.
He nods, but remains strong as he pulls my head down to rest on his shoulder. “You won’t be again. I promise you. I’ll do whatever I have to, to keep you safe.”
“Okay.”
And I believe him. I believe him like I believed Braeden when he said he was coming back to me. It’s the strongest trust I could ever have in somebody else, and I wish I could tell Justin that. I wish I could.
But he’s still not ready to hear it, despite all of this, and I’d be stupid if I didn’t know that.
The last thing I want to do at this stage, is make a complete idiot out of myself.
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
