I was tossed down on a rock solid floor next to Lennot what seems like weeks ago. I can’t be sure about how much time has passed though. My senses have been cut off for far too long. I’m more helpless now than I’ve been in six years.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
They took us both. Lennot and I. Yanked us out of our cages in the dead of night. I thought we were going to be turned into blind bombs. I tried to fight, to struggle, but they were too strong for me. They gagged and blindfolded us before tying our hands behind our backs. Then we traveled. We traveled for days, and I realized my blind bomb theory was probably wrong. Sometimes they forced us to get up and walk, but we were mostly transported to this place in some kind of vehicle. Sometimes they would put water in our mouths, but they never said a word. I tried pleading with them once, when they were giving me water. Begged them to tell me what they were doing with us. All I got was a punch in the face and the gag shoved back in my mouth.
My stomach hurts so bad. I’m so hungry. They shoved some bread in my mouth days ago. That was all I’ve had to eat since they yanked me from my cage.
I keep waiting for a gun to go off...a bullet to hit my brain so I’ll finally be able to rest. But it never comes. They never kill us. They just leave us here to wonder what the fuck is going on. Keeping us alive is benefitting them somehow.
In the meantime I’m going insane.
I know I’m going insane.
“Mmgrmmph.”
Lennot groans and knocks himself into me. It’s one of the only ways we can communicate lately. It means he knows somebody is coming. I don’t know how he can sense it...he just can. I squeeze my eyes shut, mentally repeat the Hail Mary ten times, prepare to repent for all of my sins before I die.
After a moment I can hear heavy footsteps thudding towards us.
I brace myself for the worst.
“We had a death. Only one is necessary.”
It’s grunted in Arabic. I feel a light come on high above me, and I try desperately to make out the owner of the voice I just heard. It’s useless. The blindfold is too thick. I try hard not to make a sound. I bury my face in the wall I’ve been leaning against, hoping they’ll leave me alone.
“We brought you two. They’re good workers, broken in. You can get much use out of them.”
Then it hits me.
We’re about to be sold.
God, no. No, they can’t. If we’re moved again...
If we’re moved again, any hope of being found is completely lost.
“I’ll see the young one.” The “customer” finally says.
I’m kicked in the ribs and yanked to my feet, but I’m so weak...I can barely stand up. The shackles bolting my feet to the floor rattle as I try to maintain my balance, and the man’s grip around my arm tightens, forcing me to stay on my feet.
I feel the tip of a knife pressing to my throat, and I swallow hard.
“You don’t speak.” It’s whispered to me by who I know is our present owner. His breath is hot in my face. It stinks like fish and wine. I hold my breath.
The gag is yanked free from my mouth and my body reacts by letting out a sharp sob. I bite down on my lip harshly to make the sound stop. I taste blood for a moment before my mouth is forced open again. Then there are fingers in my mouth. They taste like feces, and I cough harshly when they are finally removed.
“Strong.”
I’m forced to turn around. Somebody is touching my backside, pressing on my shoulder blades and lower back. Then my shirt is yanked up, and I wince in pain when I feel somebody touching the scars all over my back. Lash marks from six years of “disobedience.”
“Is he trouble?” I hear the customer say.
“No more than the rest.”
I’m shoved back down to the ground, and gagged again.
I sit, frozen in place, as I hear Lennot being inspected next. It doesn’t take long. The “customer” say that he’s old. Our owner talks him up big, tells him that Lennot ‘flew the airplanes’, that he’s a ‘good buy, good for housework.’ He’s desperate for this sale. Jesus Christ, it’s like we’re a two for one special. I’m trembling, sweating, sick to my stomach. I’d throw up, but I have nothing inside of me to give up.
The only thing I hear for the next few minutes are the two men muttering to each other off in the distance. I pick up a few words in Arabic here and there, but I have no idea where the conversation is going. I wish I could talk to Lennot. To ask him what he thinks. But it’s impossible. “Mrrrmph.” I groan and tap out a pathetic ‘what now’ with my foot, in the morse code I’ve forced myself to remember since we were dumped here.
Thank God Lennot knows it too.
It’s barbaric communication, but it’s something.
Lennot nudges me and I hear him tap out ‘sale, stay sharp’ in return. I try to convince myself that he’s wrong.
But I really don’t know.
Then they’re back, laughing now. My shackles rattle. I hear them unlock, and I’m pulled to my feet, forced to walk forward immediately. I have no idea who I’m with. If I’ve been sold, if Lennot has, if we’re together or not. I start to panic. My heart beings to race, my breathing gets rapid. No...no! Somebody help us! Please! “MMMPHH!” I grunt out as loud as I can. “MMMPHH!”
I’m ignored, shoved along as if I’m not even here. I try desperately to tell if Lennot is with me or not. It’s impossible. All I hear are shuffling footsteps, doors being opened. I’m outside for barely a minute. The sunlight feels warm and welcoming on my face. I can hear birds, the wind, and then I’m shoved inside another place. When a door slams, I realize I’ve been put into another vehicle.
I’m convinced that I’m alone now.
That song begins to drift through my brain. One is the loneliest number...
I’m done. Lost. Crazy.
I bawl. I bawl so hard, like I’m a lost little child. The dignity I tried so desperately to keep for years is gone now. I’m hopeless. My next step...give them a reason to kill me, or find a way to kill myself, because I’m never getting away from them now.
I love you Abbey.
I’m practically passed out when I hear the door open again, and then...a body is tossed on top of me.
A door slams. An engine starts. We’re on the move again. I’m terrified that a complete stranger has been thrown in here with me.
“Mrgrff.”
I’m kicked a little.
It’s Lennot.
It’s fucking Lennot.
All I want to do is wrap my arms around him and hug him, as queer as that is. I can feel the tears seeping out from under my blindfold. “Mmph.” I whimper.
I hear him tapping on the floor of the vehicle with his fingers. He tells me we’ve been sold together. That he’ll try to barter for our lives with our new owner.
I don’t even care about a plan right now.
What matters is that he’s still alive, and so am I. What matters is that we’re still a team. We’re still two. Two from twelve. They didn’t have a chance to make either of us into one of their damn blind bombs.
Thank you God.
Thank you.
It hits me that...it’ll be...Thanksgiving in a few days back home, if I’ve been counting right. I’d like to think that Abbey is going home for the holiday, that she’ll be with my parents and my brother Mark...bringing them some comfort, and as our journey continues, I allow my mind to drift back to her, like it normally does. Thinking of her gets my heart to stop racing, stops my mind from thinking of ways to die. I’m calm again. Hungry, thirsty, weak, but calm, and that’s important...keeping my head. Eventually Lennot and I won’t have these gags in our mouths anymore, and when that happens, we need to start strategizing again, come up with a great plan to get us out of this. I pray to god we won’t be locked in cages this time.
Even if we are though, I know there’s still a chance for us. As long as we’re together, there’s still an inkling of hope.
I can’t give up yet. Not yet.
“Don’t give up.” I hear Abbey whisper. “Please don’t give up.”
She appears to me out of the darkness, in her white dress with the blue flowers and her cardigan, hair down and wavy, her smile brilliant and unwavering.
“I won’t.”
“Promise you’ll come home to me,” she sobs, as she reaches out, and holds my face in her hands.
“I can’t promise you that,” I whimper. “I...I can’t.”
“Please, Bray,” she pleads. “Please.”
I look her right in the eyes and fuck...she seems too real. I’m able to touch her and I can feel her smooth, silky skin beneath my fingers. It’s electric. It gives me more hope than I’ve had in a really long time. “I...I promise. I’ll be home soon, baby,” I whisper.
We kiss.
Then she’s gone. I struggle to move. Still tied, still gagged, still blindfolded.
She couldn’t have been there.
But her message was powerful enough to tell me that she still wants me to come home, that she’s waiting.
I have to do it.
I have to get back to her, somehow.
Author's Chapter Notes:
whoa two chapters in two days! I'm on a roll! This story has recieved almost 11,000 hits since it was posted a few months ago. That's AMAZING! Thank you to all the readers! Even the ones I haven't heard from :) You guys are the best!
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
