I was a fool to think a family visit with my new boyfriend would go over well.

Maybe I was hoping that my parents emotions had settled down a little bit.  I guess I can’t say I was totally wrong to think that way.  My dad was cool about meeting Justin and the boys.  My sister started to warm up to them too.  But my mother and the Sampsons...they stared us down like we were vermin that needed to be exterminated immediately.  I thought Justin would have been angrier with them, given them an attitude right back.  Surprisingly, he was able to keep his cool, no matter how bad things got in the end.  I should have known he’d be able to do that though.  He’d dealt with Trace’s shitty attitude towards me for months.

As luck would have it, he’d finally managed to get rid of him, too.

It was something I was shocked to hear about.  Justin hadn’t mentioned him since he moved out, and I figured it meant their friendship was back on track, that their business ventures were back to normal, and I found myself resenting him a little bit less when we returned home from Colorado.  Things had gone so badly with my family, I think I would have done anything to get a little bit of comfort back into our lives, though.  Inviting Trace and his daughter to have Thanksgiving with us seemed like the perfect cure to the empty feeling I had inside, but when I mentioned it to Justin, I realized I’d thought too soon.

“Hey.”  I turned to look over my shoulder from my place on the sofa.  It was Thanksgiving morning and Justin and the boys had been up before sunrise, figuring out how to cook a turkey and three to four side dishes for us.  I tried to reason with him, tell him I could figure it out, but he seemed so determined to give me a special holiday.  My family situation had done something to him.  Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  I had never seen him so emotional...so determined to let me know that he would be my whole family if he had to be.

It made me love him that much more.

“I told you, you’re not helping,” Justin said in a sing song voice, as he kept his gaze focused on the recipe book in front of him.  He had the boys hard at work to his left, breaking up bread crumbs for the stuffing.  “Come on guys,” he motioned to them.  “You can do it faster than that.”

“Davey’s slow,” Austin grunted.  “It’s not me.  I did half a loaf already!”

“Shut up, Austin!” Davey yelled back.  “I’m just as fast as you!”

Justin and I glanced at each other for a moment, laughing because it was so unlike Davey to speak out like that.  Ever since ski camp he’d been a little bit bolder.  I think getting him away from us and into a group of other kids helped him start to remember the person he used to be before the accident. 

“I was just saying,” I laughed.  “Maybe Trace and Kristy can join us tonight.”

Justin’s laughter subsided and he cleared his throat a little.  “I um...I hadn’t planned on that.”

I sat up a little.  “Well, why?”

He shrugged.  “He’s...he quit, that’s all.  We haven’t spoken.”

“What?”  I scoffed.  “Quit? Justin...”

“It’s not a big deal,” he muttered, as he began to coat the top of the turkey with the dressing he’d mixed together moments before.  “It wasn’t working out, that’s all.”

“After all that?”  I said, the disbelief in my voice obvious.  I couldn’t deny that I was angry.  After everything we’d both done to get him out of jail, he just up and quit on Justin like it was nothing.  “After everything we did?”

“It’s better this way,” he said, bluntly.  “I really don’t want to talk about it, all right?  Let’s just try to relax and enjoy the holiday.”

I wasn’t angry at Justin for keeping his feelings to himself.  I think I was angrier at Trace for giving up on his friend like that, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew it wasn’t my place to try to patch things up.  I had enough issues, and Justin was trying to focus on himself, not on work. Pressuring him about Trace, I knew, was only going to frustrate him, and ruin our chance of enjoying what was left of the Thanksgiving holiday.  “Okay.”  It was all I said before I turned my attention back to the parade flashing across the television screen, doing the best I could to drown out the memory of my first family visit in four years.

I wasn’t shocked by the Sampson’s reaction to Justin.  From the start, I guess I knew Barbara would have a hard time with it.  She’s always been difficult, more so when she was going through her chemo and Braeden decided to enlist.  For some reason she always seemed to put that blame on me.  Like I should have done more or said more to make him change his mind.  I wouldn’t have though.  I always wished she could have understood that.  That I would have stood behind Braeden no matter what he chose to do with his life.  When he disappeared, and I left for New York, I guess she thought I was going to spend the rest of my life alone.  The fact that I brought a guy home after four years of being gone shocked her.  She acted like I was a criminal, like I had no right to “replace” her son with anybody.

But fuck, she’s the one who agreed to proclaim him dead in the first place.

Needless to say, I’m glad I didn’t have a chance to be alone with her.

I did, however, have a chance to be alone with my mother.  My mother who I thought would have simply been happy to see me, to see my life a little bit more put together.  She wasn’t though.  She just couldn’t understand why Justin would want to be with me.  She acted as if he had some kind of motive, that he was using me for something.  I tried to explain our relationship, to tell her that we were in love and I was happy for the first time since Braeden passed away, but she wouldn’t listen...

She just refused.  She didn’t care that I was happy.  All she seemed to care about was Braeden’s money in the bank, and that the Sampson’s wanted it.  It killed me inside.  It seemed like she didn’t care that he was dead or what the money really represented.  I didn’t hold back...I told her exactly how I felt about it...

And when she slapped me in response, I knew I had enough. 

It pained me to leave my father and sister behind like that.  Out of everyone, I was looking most forward to spending time with them.  They accepted Justin for the most part, were more curious about him than anything, and Justin was making a valiant effort to get on their good sides.  I didn’t want to leave, but I just...I couldn’t handle being there after my mom freaked out on me.  I was sure things would get worse, and I didn’t want to put the boys or Justin in the middle of a family quarrel.

So Justin flew us home, no questions asked. 

He and the boys slaved all day over our Thanksgiving feast.  I stayed out of the kitchen, as he requested.  It was the only thing he made me promise to do for him that day.  He was determined to prepare the meal himself, despite his lack of culinary skill, and made sure to get the boys involved too.  It was the first time he’d teamed up with his two siblings to work on anything, and it showed.  They bickered constantly.  Austin threw food at Davey, and Davey threw it back.  Justin lost his patience more times than I’d like to admit, yelled and swore when things went wrong.  Pots banged together, water spilled on the floor, flour coated most of the surfaces in the kitchen.  It was pure chaos.  Very un-Justinlike...and also the cutest thing I’d ever seen.

I was glad they were bonding, even if Justin’s patience wore thin and the boys were rowdy.  They needed to be like that...like a family, and I just knew the more Justin was able to do things like that with his brothers, the more they would look up to him.  I think that’s what I want the most for the boys, to have more of a need for Justin than they do for me.  I’m not saying I won’t be around.  I plan to be...

But I know from experience that you have to prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.

I was led into the dining room later that afternoon, with Justin’s hands over my eyes.  I was laughing.  It was a little bit ridiculous, but I knew it was more for the boys than anything else.

“Okay, show ‘er! Show ‘er, Justin!” 

I laughed when I heard Austin’s excited voice, and then Justin lifted his hands away from my eyes.  I was a little speechless when I saw the table.  Lucinda had taken a few days off to visit with family, so I knew there was no way she could have decorated the table before hand.  It was immaculate, right down to the placement of the flatware and wine glasses.  There were candlesticks set in crystal holders, and a beautiful cornucopia arrangement sat in the center of the table.  The boys had done it.  All three of them, together.  I was so proud.  “When did you did this?” I smiled, as Justin pulled my seat out for me. 

“I looked it up on that Martha Stewart better homes website, and called in a few supply favors,” Justin chuckled as he helped me slide up to the table.  “I think it looks like the picture.”

“I think it’s beautiful.  Boys, you did a wonderful job in here.”

“I put the napkins in the rings, Abbey,” Davey told me proudly as he took his seat, and picked one up off his china plate.  “See?”

I felt Justin rubbing my shoulders as I smiled at my little guy, and I looked up at my boyfriend.  “You didn’t have to do all this,” I laughed.  “Really...”

He leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips.  “Happy Thanksgiving, Ab.”

Justin and the boys brought out all the food, and then came the test.  Justin carved, passed me a plate, and they watched me intently as I picked up my fork and stabbed a piece of my turkey with it.  I felt like they were holding their breaths, and I was praying the food had turned out okay.  I bit.  I chewed. I swallowed.

“Well?” Justin said anxiously.

I smiled.  “It’s perfect.”

“Yahoo!” Austin threw his napkin up in the air, prompting his younger brother to do the same.

Justin didn’t seem to care about their antics.  I noticed that he’d sunk a little lower in his chair, seemingly relieved that I liked the food and that his efforts hadn’t been for nothing. 

It was the best Thanksgiving I’d had in six long years.

“So you really liked it?”

It was late.  The boys had gone to bed hours ago, and Justin and I had washed the dishes together while some soft music played in the background.  We hadn’t spoke, just smiled at one another as I washed and he dried while we swayed to the mellow classical music wafting into the kitchen.  Then, once the dishes were put back in their place, he’d taken me by the hand and up to what was now our bedroom.  We made love gently, more than once, before lying in each others arms and staring up at the vaulted ceiling. 

“I did,” I smirked and kissed him on the mouth.  “It made up for everything else.”

He turned a little and smoothed his hand over my cheek.  “I love you.”

“Yeah,” I smiled back at him tiredly.  “I love you too.”

It was to be the last peaceful moment Justin and I would share for several weeks. That weekend we took the boys into the heart of the city to see all the Christmas decorations.  I think Justin got a little bit winded, running here and there, stopping and staring, jostling through crowds of tourists.  It wasn’t something he was used to.  I knew he would have preferred Quincy driving us around and pointing out all the sites to the boys, but they wouldn’t have gotten the full experience, and it was their first Christmas in the city.  Justin sacrificed his stamina for us, and I could tell how run down he was when Monday rolled around.  He drank three Muscle Milks that morning before kissing me and telling me to have a good day.

Things have been pretty much non stop since then.  Justin has been swamped at work.  Something about fourth quarter goals and the retail trade.  I don’t get involved with it, I just know that we don’t get to sit down together for dinner nearly as much as I would like.  On the bright side, Davey has started school, and is adjusting well to the routine.  He leaves happy and comes home happy, which is all I can really ask for.  The empty house also gives me an opportunity to catch up on little things that I never got the chance to do with Davey in the house.  I’ve changed all the window treatments in the house, redecorated a couple of bedrooms and bathrooms, and bought both the boys new wardrobes for the winter.  I even started to talk to Lucinda about her cooking, and tried to plan out the meals for the week with her.  I wanted to get Justin and the boys to eat healthier, because I’ve learned about the different things that go into Lucinda’s meals, and from what my friends have told me, some of those things can cause long term acid reflux disease.  I started to have Lucinda work out of cookbooks.  She hated it, I think, although she would never point it out to me.  I could tell though, just by the way she glared and muttered to herself while she was reading the recipes.  I knew my secret was officially out, when Justin asked me if Lucinda was doing okay one night last week.  Of course I told him she was fine.  He laughed though, and I knew he didn’t believe me.

“I never saw her use a cookbook before,” he scoffed as he removed his necktie, shirt, and undershirt, flinging them all onto our bed.  “What’s with that?”

I shrugged a little bit. “I just thought we could use a change.  Some of that stuff she makes isn’t exactly the healthiest.”

“C’mon,” he smirked and pulled me close to him.  “When did you become a health freak?  Are those women you spend all your time with warping your brain?”

“No...I...”

“Ab,” he said gently, continuing to laugh as he cupped my chin in his hand.  “Look, Lucinda is great.  She’s been cooking for me for years, and I haven’t gotten salmonella yet.  I thought you liked her food.”

“I just want you to be at your best, that’s all,” I explained.  “You work hard.”

“You’re cute.”  He kissed me as he smiled.  “Don’t worry about me so much, though.  Just let Lucinda do her thing, all right?  It’s what I hired her for.  Her pride gets hurt when you shove recipes in her face.  She feels like you hate her cooking.”

It wasn’t that at all, and I rolled my eyes.  “But, Justin...”

“Don’t get defensive,” he snickered and put his forehead against mine.  “Just...let it go, okay? It’s not a big deal.”

I sighed heavily and stared back into his eyes.  It started to hit me that I was being a little bit ridiculous.  I knew how great of a cook Lucinda was, and she’d never been anything but nice to me since the day I walked in Justin’s house.  I was being influenced by the affluent idiots I associated with, again.  I hated that.  I hated that I let myself become so immersed in their self centered ways of thinking.  I needed to be a little bit more grounded...to come back to earth.

I needed Charlene.

But we weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

“I’m sorry,” I huffed.

“Don’t be.” He kissed me again and pulled me closer to him.  “I know you’re just trying to help.”

I let Lucinda go back to her normal routine after that.  She hasn’t given me a dirty look since.

Austin was selected to take part in Dalton’s winter musical.  I was a little surprised, so was Justin, but upon speaking with Ms. Parks about it, I could tell she had her reasons.  She kept telling me that Austin was a ‘bright child’ who needed some extra ‘stimulation,’ and a play was the best thing for him.  At first I didn’t think much of it.  I thought it would be cute.  Something that us gals could get together and design costumes for, but then she dropped another bomb on me.

“Austin has been selected to play Peter Pan,” she smiled.  “That’s the lead.”

I thought I was going to faint.  I loved Austin.  He was great and getting better all the time, but I didn’t have that much faith that he’d be able to learn a whole script in time to perform it in front of an audience.  “Ms...Ms Parks,” I began slowly.  “Are you sure about this? I mean...he’s...”

She smiled at me softly and gave my hand a little rub.  “Abbey, he wants to do this.  He told me so.”

“Austin?” I scoffed.

She nodded.  “Is that so hard to believe?”

It wasn’t.  My Austin was a little character.  He loved to dress up and play fantasy games with his brother.  It was only logical that he would do well on stage.  I felt bad for doubting him.  “No, I guess it’s not...as long as his broken arm won’t be an issue.”

“We’ll just give him sleeves,” she smiled.  “I hope you’re up to the challenge, Abbey.  He’s going to have a lot of lines to memorize, and needs as much support from his guardians as possible.”

“I’m on it,” I nodded. 

“Good to hear.”

She smiled at me, as if she knew what a hardship it was on me, and walked back into the building.  Part of me wondered if she was doing it to punish me.  She never really liked me, I knew that from day one, and she only tolerated Justin because of some donation he’d made to the school.  In all honesty, I felt she was expecting Austin to fail.  The thing about that was, I wouldn’t allow it.  Austin would succeed.  He would make us all proud.

“Abbey.”

I crouch down and pull the bottom of his outfit straight, before reaching up to ensure his hat is clipped down securely to his head.  “Yeah?”

“What if I forget my lines,” he whispers.

“You won’t.”

“Abbey!”

I look back over my shoulder, and see Jodi, one of the other mothers, standing there with a box of costumes in her arms.  “Cara has the rest, down the hallway!” I point in the direction I mean.

She nods and rushes off.

For whatever reason, I became the hub of communication for this whole production.  I helped design the set, spent countless nights here helping to paint, sew, and put together various things.  I even had Davey here a few nights, helping to put glitter glue on the backdrops with some of the other parents.  Justin was home then, but busy with work he brought from the office with him, so I would bring Davey along with me to play rehearsal.  I haven’t minded that...Justin working overtime.  I know it’s been a crazy couple of months, and he wants to get all of his work taken care of before the rest of the  holidays hit.  Apparently he gets a couple of weeks off once that happens.  He keeps talking about it, how he can’t wait to spend all that time with me and the boys.

It’ll be a relief for the both of us, and God willing, there won’t be any broken bones this time around.

“But what if I do?” Austin whimpers.  “What if I forget, Abbey?”

“If you keep thinking that way, you will,” I huff, and put my hands on his shoulders. “Come on, we’ve been practicing every night.  You know this, Aus.  I know you do.”

He nods, but looks down at the floor.  I know what the real problem is.  It’s the same thing I’ve been worried about all week, and I know that if it does happen, I can’t be mad.  I promised I wouldn’t be.  That I wouldn’t hold it against him.

But it’s just...so important that Justin makes it to this.

“This week?” Justin put a hand to his forehead when I reminded him about this at the beginning of the week.  “Ab, I’m...you know I want to go...”r32;

“This means a lot to him,” I said gently.  “He’s worked so hard.”

“Yeah,” he grunted, and picked up  the pad full of notes that he’d been gazing at before I walked into his study.  “But I have to meet with some international clients that day.  They won’t be in til the afternoon, and we have a dinner meeting planned.  I just...I don’t know if I can make it, Ab.  This is a big deal for the firm, and I’m expected to be there.”

It had taken me time to learn how to cope with Justin’s hectic schedule.  He’d toned down his cell phone usage for us, cut out a huge business deal with Donald Trump, that I’m sure he’s still kicking himself for to this day.  It should have been enough for me to shut my mouth and let him do his thing.  I mean, it basically was.  I didn’t pressure him about work anymore.  I had my own things to do and my own gaggle of women surrounding me that knew what it was like to have their spouses out of the picture half of the time.  “Try then,” I said quietly.  “Okay?”

“I can’t,” he said, his voice full of regret.  “I’m sorry.  I...I probably won’t be going.  I’d rather just tell you the truth, you know?”

I just nodded, and left him to finish his work.  He didn’t come to bed til after one in the morning.  I couldn’t deny that he was overwhelmed with work, and part of me felt a little selfish for pressuring him about Austin’s play.

I didn’t mention it again.

“I know you wanted Justin to be here,” I say to Austin gently.  “But sometimes he has to work.  I know you understand, right?”

It takes him a long time, but he finally nods.

“I love you.” I smile at him and kiss his cheek gently.  “And I know you’re going to go out there and do a great job.”

“Austin, five minutes!”

I look back.  It’s Jodi again.  I nod at her quickly before looking back at Austin.  “I’m going to get a seat,” I say quickly.  “Just remember everything we’ve been practicing.”

“I will,” he says nervously.

I hug him quick, and then, I head out.

Please, I silently pray.  Please let him do well. 

I find Davey sitting with one of the other mothers in the audience, and get a seat next to them just as the lights begin to dim.  She smiles at me, and I smile back as I take Davey onto my lap, glancing around quickly to see if I can spot Justin. 

He’s not here.

I try not to let the sinking feeling take over me, try not to be disappointed.  I know he said he couldn’t come.  I know that.  But I just...I guess I was just hoping he would have been able to get here at the last minute.

I guess showing him the video will have to be good enough.

The Darling children fight with their parents, and are snug in their beds soon enough. I hold my breath in anticipation as Austin is cued on stage.  He comes out on time, thankfully, holding the glowing ‘tink’ bottle in his hands.  I smile.  He really is too cute.

“Tink...” He trails off and taps the bottle with his finger.  “Tink, come out of there!  Oh Tink, do you know where they put my shadow?”

The audience laughs.  It’s a sign that he’s going to be okay, even though his brother isn’t here to support him.  I ease up a little bit, sit back in my seat and let Davey lean back against my chest as the show continues.  Austin is brilliant, vibrant, nails every line, and every song, keeping the small audience entranced in his character.  He’s a little perfectionist, I realize, just like his brother.

Justin would be proud.

He never shows up, though, and I realize it’s just one of many things he’s going to miss out on because of his career.  It’s unfortunate, but we’ve made compromises, and I know that Justin didn’t miss this because he wanted to. 

I have to keep telling myself that.

The kids take their final bows, and Austin gets a standing ovation.  The audience hoots and hollers, wants more of him.  He comes back out for one final bow before he’s finally able to exit the stage, and I’m waiting for him several minutes later by the stage door.  He’s not vibrant Austin anymore though.  No, he’s seemed to melt right back into the kid that I’ve come to know so well.  He walks towards me slowly, itching the skin underneath his cast, his expression grim.

He already knows Justin didn’t make it.

“Austin you did great!” I say, trying to sound enthusiastic when he reaches us.  “I told you that you wouldn’t mess up!”

I ruffle his hair.

“Can we go now?” He says, as he gently pushes my hand away.

I sigh.  “Sure buddy.”

I take both boys by the hand, and we start to walk out of the school together.  It’s bad.  I know that Austin is very disappointed, despite my warnings to him.  He was holding out for Justin.  He was clinging to the hope that he would magically show up in the second act.  I hate that he’s so disappointed, but there’s nothing I can do except stick by him, and get him through it. 

“You want to get something to eat, Aus?” I offer, as I push the door open for the boys.

“No.”

I just nod, and when we get outside, I start to look around for a taxi briefly before I feel somebody tapping me on the shoulder.  When I whirl around, I’m surprised to find Justin standing in front of me, looking like he just jumped through hurdles to get here.  His tie and jacket are messy, and he’s breathing harshly, like he’s been running. 

“Hey,” I laugh. 

“Did I miss it?” He asks me, breathlessly.

I feel horrible.  I can’t even answer him, so I just nod.

“Damn it,” he sighs, and runs a hair through his hair.  “Austin,” he crouches down to meet his brother’s eye line.  “Buddy, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry,” Austin mutters.

“I tried,” Justin tells him.  “I had a meeting.  I’ll just...I’ll have to watch the video.”

“I don’t even care!” Austin yells at him.  “I don’t care if you ever see it!”

He storms away from us in tears, and I almost call out to him, before I see Quincy standing there by the Escalade’s open door.  Austin gets in, and I know he’s done with us for the night.

I can’t say I blame him.

“That went well,” Justin sighs harshly.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I say to him gently.

He lets out a long sigh before scratching the top of Davey’s head and giving me a light kiss.  “How’d it go?” He asks, as we begin to walk over to the Escalade.

“He was pretty incredible, J,” I smirk.  “A natural.”

“Singing and everything?”

“Oh yeah,” I nod.

“Make sure you get me the video,” he tells me quietly.

I smirk a little bit.  “I will, and I doubt Austin will stay mad at you forever over this.”

He laughs heartily.  “You don’t know him at all, do you?”

We get into the car, and soon enough, we’re on our way back to the house.  It’s silent for a while.  Davey is leaning on my shoulder, falling asleep. Austin is staring out the window, and Justin is staring at Austin, like he’s trying to figure out what he can say to make him feel a little better.  I’d tell him to leave well enough alone, but Justin is too proud to sit around and take the silent treatment from his brother.

“So tell me about it, Aus,” Justin speaks up finally.  “How’d you do?”

Austin, naturally, completely ignores him. 

“You know,” Justin continues.  “I did make an effort to come see you.  Sometimes work gets in the way.”

Austin just shrugs.  “I don’t care.”

“Ungrateful little asshole,” Justin mutters.  “I miss one thing and...”

“You only came to two of my soccer games!” He yells.  “Two! Abbey came to all of them!   I practiced and practiced to get this right! But I’m always second best when it comes to you!  You always put Davey first!”

“You’re ridiculous!” Justin yells back.  “You know I would have come to more of your games if I could have, and I didn’t miss the stupid play on purpose!”

“It’s not stupid, and you didn’t even try!”

“Enough!” 

I yell it at both of them, and they immediately stop arguing and stare at me, dumbfounded.  “That’s enough,” I say gently.  “What’s done is done.  Justin missed what he missed and that can’t be helped Austin.  There will be other plays.”

Austin crosses his arms harshly across his chest.  “I don’t want you at any of them,” he snaps at Justin before looking out the window again.

Justin laughs sadly and shakes his head.

The rest of our trip is silent.  When we arrive at Justin’s building, Austin runs out of the car and doesn’t wait for us to join him before disappearing inside.  Davey is fast asleep at this point, so Quincy lifts him off my lap so I can get out of the car, and Justin quickly takes him once we are all out of the car, before bidding Quincy a good night.  Justin and I take the elevator up without Austin, barely looking at each other.  He knows I don’t really appreciate the fact that he swore at his brother, but at the same time I know part of him couldn’t help it.  I mean, Justin has really been trying.  I think Austin is too young to realize just how much.

I know I’ll have to sit him down at some point and try to explain all of this to him in a way he can understand.

We get Davey into bed, and kiss him goodnight, both breathing a sigh of relief when we are finally alone together in the hallway.  The sound of Austin’s TV is blaring from his bedroom, video games I’m sure, but I don’t care if he’s up late.  It’s a Friday, and he needs to let off some steam.

“I lost my temper,” Justin says to me quietly, as we walk down the hallway and out into the great room.  “I just...I couldn’t help it.”

“I expect better from you, but I’m assuming you didn’t have the best day,” I smirk.

He plops down on the couch and lets out a long breath, before loosening his tie.  “How’d you guess?”

“That look of absolute torture on your face kind of tipped me off.”

“I’ve been speaking Mandarin since noon,” he laughs.  “Out of everybody on my executive panel, I’m the only one who speaks it too.  So while my partners were sitting there, filling up on the great wine and food, I was stuck talking about economics with three fat Asian dudes who think America is a big joke to begin with.”

I sit down next to him, laughing as he pulls me in for a long, much needed kiss on the lips.  “Well,” I whisper after we break apart.  “Did you get any results from your Mandarin excursion?”

His face lights up a little bit.  “Well, they told me they’d love to have me as an honorary guest some day soon.  In Asia, I’m told, that’s a big thing.  Dennis says that I’m the man now, or something.  So I guess we’ll be getting a lot more business from them.”

“See?” I stroke his face a little bit.  “That Rosetta Stone really did pay off.”

“That, and my charm,” he laughs.

“Don’t get cocky.” I punch him lightly in the shoulder.  “You’re not allowed to have an ego bigger than Austin’s.”

“That kid will be the death of me,” he nods.  “I’m like...a hundred percent sure.”

“Maybe you need to do something special for him,” I suggest.  “Something without Davey.”

He rolls his eyes.

I think Justin’s whole mindset is, that Austin is too old for ‘special trips’.  He’s twelve.  That, in my opinion, is still just a baby, but I’d never admit that.  I have a big soft spot for both of those boys, and I know it’s why I consider him that.  Justin views his brother as a little man.  Somebody that need to be obedient and mature, while Davey can be a baby as much as he wants to be.  “Justin...”

“I can handle him,” he reassures me.  “He’s being a brat.  I’ll fix it.”

“He’s not a brat,” I whisper.

Justin sweeps me up in a kiss, silencing my protesting, and I hate it, but I let myself melt away into the magic of him.

“I want to get away from the kids for a little while,” he tells me as we kiss. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...”  He pulls back and smiles brightly for a moment.  “Just us.”

The idea is completely insane.  There are two kids here that depend on us for everything, me more so than Justin.  I can’t leave them.  I hate to think of what would happen if we left Austin and Davey in Lucinda’s care for a week.  They’d probably take over, pelt her with food until she ran out of here screaming...

I shudder at the thought.  “Justin, we can’t leave them.”

“My associate, Dennis, offered to take them for a week.”

I’ve met that guy Dennis before.  He stopped by the house about a week ago to drop something off for Justin.  He seemed nice enough.  He’s young, maybe a year or two older than Justin.  I didn’t have a reason to think he couldn’t be trusted then, and I still don’t.  To top that off, I know Justin would never place the boys in the care of an irresponsible person.  “Dennis?”r32;

“Yeah, he’s married.  They have a couple of kids and a house out on Long Island with a lot of property.  The boys would have fun for a week.”

I shake my head a little bit.  “Justin, we can’t just...leave them.  It’s not fair.”r32;

“Not fair to who?” He laughs.  “You haven’t even asked me where I want to take you yet.  Look, we’ll spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with the boys.  Then...you know, we can hop on a plane and have some fun, while they get to play with some kids for a week.  We’ll be back before they have a chance to miss us.  What’s the big deal?”

I shrug.  My parents never left us alone to take a trip.  Whatever we did, we always did it together, even when Hannah and I had both reached our teen years.  I don’t feel right going away without the boys.  I think it might be...selfish, or something.  “Isn’t it a trip that the boys can enjoy too?”

He huffs and narrows his eyes at me, not being able to suppress his smile.  “You’re way too motherly.”

“It’s not my fault,” I say, sarcastically.  “You knew how i was when you hired me.”

“Come on.”  He pulls me closer to him and smiles, his eyes pleading with me to give into him.  “I wanna take you away.”

“We just went somewhere,” I laugh.

“Paris,” he says, obviously disappointed that he had to tell me this way.  “I want to take you to Paris, and...I mean, Davey’s still a little young and Austin has the attention span of a puppy.  It’s not that I don’t want to bring them, I just know that they won’t be able to appreciate it, that’s all.  They’ll have more fun here, playing with some kids.”

A trip to Paris alone with Justin sounds amazing.  I know we’d get do things that would be otherwise impossible to do with the boys with us, and I think I’d get to see that side of Justin that I haven’t been able to in awhile.  The cultured one, the one that teaches me things and likes to have a good time. It’s been a while since he’s been able to act that way.  Sure, we went to Colorado and had an okay time when we were alone and not surrounded by my family, but the trip was more about enjoyment for the boys than it was about us.

“You gotta think about yourself sometimes, Ab,” Justin reminds me.  “I know you love the boys.  Anybody can see that, and they know you love them too.  I really want us to spend a week away alone.  After the break, I don’t know when we’ll be able to do it again.  The boys will have every opportunity to spend time with us.”

His expression is pleading with me to give in.  I bite my lip, scolding myself because I’m almost to the point that I want to say yes.  The smallest part of me is still afraid though.  Afraid of how Austin will react or if Davey will be scared without me for a week.

“How about this,” Justin persists when I still don’t answer.  “We’ll go, and if you aren’t happy by the second day in, or if the boys call and pester you about how lonely they are without you, I’ll fly us back.”

I narrow my eyes at him.  “You don't think the boys will call and do that?” I scoff.

He shrugs.  “I’m willing to bet they’ll be distracted enough not to.”

I sigh.  “And how do you know I won’t be completely miserable with you by day two?”

He laughs and pulls me closer to him again.  “You’re not miserable now are you?”

“You’re so manipulative, Timberlake.”

He kisses me hard.  “You know, I was gonna wait til Christmas,” he sighs, and pulls something out of his pocket.  “But I guess I need to seal the deal with you now.”

My heart stops.

Is he...

He opens the little box and smiles softly.  “Don’t you dare say I’m cheesy.”

I take it from him, and study the silver ring inside.  I slowly begin to realize that Justin had no intention on proposing, and I start to breath a little bit easier.  Still, if he isn’t proposing then what is he doing?  Curious, I take the ring out of the box, and study it for a moment, before spotting some script engraved on inside of the band.

You have my heart.  Love, Justin.

I look at him, trying not to cry.  It’s so unlike anything I would expect him to do.  He’s got such a tough exterior most of the time.  This is one of the few times he’s ever been so damn sentimental about our relationship, and it’s made me melt into a puddle of mush.  He’s got me now.  I couldn’t turn him down for this trip now even if I wanted to.  “You’re cheesy.”

He laughs and pulls on my hand so he can slip it on my finger.  “You love it.”r32;