I had Cheryl send a ticket for Hannah to fly out for Christmas, and a check made out to the Sampson family for twenty five thousand dollars the week after we returned from Colorado
One week later I got both back, with a short but firm letter from Abbey’s mother telling me to ‘stay out’ of their business.
Normally my ego would have gotten in the way, and I would have made every attempt to contact her and give her a piece of my mind. But, this was different. This was Abbey’s family, and as much as I wanted to make things right between them, I knew if I interfered more I could have done more damage to the relationship. So I let it go. I keep wondering if it was the right choice. I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I give another push and show her I’m not going anywhere, she’ll give in.
But I also would run the risk of pissing Abbey off.
Pissing her off at this junction of course, would be a complete waste.
A waste because...I’ve given her a part of me that nobody else has ever had before.
I’ve given her my whole heart, without a regret. It took me weeks of debating to decide whether or not I was ready to give her that symbol of myself. I knew once I did it there was no going back. I would be stuck in a serious relationship. One that could eventually lead up to that wonderful subject of marriage that I was oh so terrified of. Was I ready? I didn’t know. I’d never had such a bond with anybody before. I sat in my office and thought about it for hours on end, despite the fact that I had about a million other things on my to do list. I almost stopped myself from going to Tiffany’s that day, took the elevator up and down to my office five different times, before I finally gave in and went. The sales lady was surprisingly helpful. My fear was that they were going to try and talk me into some diamond engagement ring that I wasn’t ready to buy, but when I said I wanted a subtle promise ring, she walked me right over to their selection of platinum bands and asked me what size and what I wanted it to say.
That decision, of course, was tougher than the one I made to leave my office.
I didn’t want to go too Barry Manilow on her. Abbey isn’t a sappy girl. Sure, she’s an emotional, thoughtful person, but she’s not over the top. That’s a good thing, because it’s like pulling teeth to get me to be the least bit sentimental. The sales lady told me to go with my gut, to say how I felt. I thought for a moment, and then...it seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’d given Abbey my heart.
So I decided to put that on the ring.
They had it sized and engraved within an hour. Normally, I’m sure something like that takes a few days, but since I am who I am, they dropped everything to make sure I had it in my hands before I walked out the door. When I got back to my office all I could seem to do was clutch it in my hand as I paced back and forth across the room. I had the ring, yeah, but how the hell was I supposed to give it to Abbey? I wasn’t...romantic. I could be seductive, and playful, but I wasn’t one of those guys who got down on his knees and proclaimed his undying love to a woman. I just...I couldn’t do it.
“Hey...Justin...are you feeling okay?”
I looked towards the doorway, and found that Dennis was standing there with a few portfolios in his hands. I realized I was supposed to be meeting with him right then, in regards to the promotion I fully intended on giving him. I felt like a moron, as I never showed my true colors to any of my other staff members. Trace had been the only one, and he was long gone. “Oh...” I shoved the ring in my pocket. “Yeah, Dennis, sorry.”
He smiled a little as he entered my office and pulled the door closed behind him. “Something on your mind?”
I didn’t want to tell him, or seem obvious, but the wedding ring on his finger stuck out to me like an eyesore. Dennis was married. He knew how to...talk to a woman. “Dennis,” I found myself blurting out, and immediately felt inferior to him. That was bad, since I was his boss and all.
“Yeah?”
I stared at him for a moment, feeling my mouth go dry as I licked my lips. “Can I...do you think I could ask you a personal question?”
He laughed, a little nervously. “Sure, I guess.”
“How did you...I mean, when you asked your wife to marry you...”
“Dude, you’re getting married?”
“No!” I said, a little bit to loudly. “No, not married.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the sweat coming off it like I’d just taken a long shower. “I just...I got my girlfriend a little gift, and I’m not the most sentimental person...and it’s a sentimental gift, you know?”
He nodded slightly. “I...I think so.”
With a harsh sigh, I gave in and pulled the small box out of my pocket. I felt like I was crossing the line with him. One that I didn’t like my employees to see. But I figured if he was going to take Trace’s place, I needed to learn to trust him with more than just my stock trading secrets. “It’s one of those promise rings.” I opened the box and showed him quickly. “But I have no idea what you’re supposed to do.”
He laughed. He laughed so hard, like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. I felt myself growing a little agitated. I hated to think that I made a fool out of myself. “What’s funny?” I grumbled.
“It’s just amazing to me that you have a real personality. You hide it so well.”
Dennis never held back. I can’t lie. It’s the reason I like him so much.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“Look, this is what you do.” He slowly approached me and patted me on the shoulder in a reassuring way that a friend would. “You get her alone without the kids, talk to her a little bit. Maybe...tell her how she really makes you feel.”
“I suck at that,” I admitted. “Can’t I just give it to her?”
“Well you could,” he told me. “But it probably won’t mean as much.”
I nodded. “So I just...I just tell her how I feel?”
“Yeah, something like that,” he laughed and patted me on the back slightly. “Or if talking isn’t your thing, maybe you can take her somewhere.”
“I have the kids,” I muttered. “I mean, they’re cool. They’re my brothers, but...it’s hard to even get a moment to ourselves, let alone a vacation.”
He paused and seemed to think long and hard about something. “Well, Trish and I don’t have plans this break. The kids are going to be around, so why don’t you send the boys to stay with us?”
I was slightly baffled by his offer. “Are you kidding? Won’t your wife get pissed? I mean, two kids is enough...and my brothers can be wild.”
“It’s no sweat,” he reassured me. “Just take your lady away for a week.”
Part of me knew he was doing it to secure his promotion, and normally, I hated that type of ass kissing, but this time it was different. I knew that I needed to be alone with Abbey for a few days. We needed to secure our relationship in that way, and since I sucked at words, I could do it with a trip. “You can move your shit into Trace’s old office after Christmas break,” I nodded. “Congratulations.”
His eyes widened. “Mr. Timberlake...”
“Dennis,” I said, cutting him off. “Dont start with the Timberlake crap, okay?”
He smiled and laughed nervously. “Sorry. Didn’t you want to see my portfolios? I prepared everything...”
“I’m sure everything is fine,” I nodded, being the one to pat him on the shoulder this time. “Thanks, Dennis. I owe you one.”
I shuffled him out of my office, and sort of stood there for a moment, relishing the silence, more thankful than ever that I sort of had a solution to my love dilemma. The only thing left to do, was convince Abbey that leaving my brothers for a week wasn’t going to be a problem. I really wanted to give her the ring on Christmas day. I thought it would be more romantic, like that shit you see on TV, but when she didn’t seem thrilled about leaving the boys to go on an exciting trip to Paris with me, I figured it was the best time to spring the ring on her. She wasn’t expecting it.
The smile on her face was priceless.
I knew how happy I’d made her, and how far forward I’d pushed our relationship.
I love her. I feel it so hard inside of me, every day when I wake up, and every night when I go to bed. It’s like this pulsing, vibrating sensation that I can’t shake. When I go to work I long for her, when I’m home and she’s in the other room...I long for her. Am I sick? Or just hopelessly devoted to her?
Can it be true? Can I really...be ready to marry this woman in a year or two?
It’ll be a damn miracle, if so.
“Hold your foot still.”
“I am!” Austin whines and sighs harshly as he leans back against the bench.
I took Abbey’s advice and decided to do something with Austin. Normally I wouldn’t have bothered, because he’s old enough to understand that I have a job to do and my life can’t revolve around him all the time like he wants it to. But since she was so adamant about me doing this, I caved in and took him ice skating today. It’s Christmas Eve morning, not the best day because of how crowded the city is for the holiday, but the only day I could go. Yesterday was all about end of year business, last minute things I had to take care of at the office before we break for the holiday. I allowed myself to leave around seven, wishing my staff a happy holiday for the first time since I was promoted.
Strange, the office seemed to have a more light hearted feel to it this year. Usually nobody is smiling, everybody is rushing around, trying to get home. I guess I must have changed the morale somewhat over the past few months.
Because Abbey changed me.
I pull the second set of laces tight at the top of Austin’s skate, and tie them securely before allowing him to put his foot back on the ground. “You ready?”
He crosses his arms. “I don’t know how.”
“I’m gonna show you how,” I nod. “Come on, man up.”
He studies the other skaters out on the ice for several moments. He’s been mad at me since the night of his play, still not being able to understand the conscientious effort I made to see him prance around the stage at school. I really did rush. As soon as those clients let me go on my way, I had Quincy race to Dalton, just to be told by my girlfriend that I’d missed the whole thing. I don’t know how many times I need to apologize to this kid. It’s like he can’t let things go.
But then again, neither can I.
“Are you going away after Christmas?”
I’m sure Abbey must have filled him in about our trip. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her though. She likes to keep Austin informed, because he’s older, and can handle information like that. “For a few days, yeah.” I get up quickly and hold out a gloved hand to him.
He doesn’t get up. “Why?”
I sigh a little bit. “Because...me and Abbey need some time together.”
“Yeah, time away from us.” He rolls his eyes.
“You’d be bored anyway. Come on, get up.”
This time he takes my hand, not without glaring at me, and I make sure his jacket is zipped and his hat is pulled down snug over his ears before starting to walk towards the rink with him. “Now watch how I do this,” I tell him, leaving him clinging to the side of the rink as I step out on the ice. “One foot.” I move my right foot the proper way. “Then push off with the other foot.” I glide forward a little bit before turning to face him. “Get it?”
He shrugs. “Can’t we do something else?”
I laugh a little bit. “Can’t you ever just be satisfied?”
He looks down at his skates for a moment. “I don’t want to fall.”
He’s scared, he just doesn’t want to admit it. I guess I shouldn’t blame him. The kid does have a broken arm, and didn’t have the easiest trip to Colorado. “How about I just guide you then?”
“I don’t really want to skate, Justin.”
He doesn’t say it in a nasty tone of voice, like I would expect him too. No this is a scared tone. One that tells me the moment I force him out onto the ice, he’s going to have a meltdown. I sigh a little bit. “You should have told me before I laced you up,” I huff.
“You wouldn’t have listened anyway,” he mutters.
He’s right. “Fine,” I nod. “So what do you want to do?”
“We can just go home.”
“No,” I laugh. “We can’t. We’re doing something today.”
“Just because Abbey wants you to,” he grunts. “Don’t do me any favors.”
“Hey.” I skate back over to the railing and step off the ice. “You really think that I hate being with you?”
“You never want to be around me.”
“We hung out at the beach house,” I remind him.
“That was months ago.”
I sigh. He’s right, and I hate that he’s right. I’m either caught up at work, or with Abbey, and then...I guess...I might pay a lot more attention to Davey sometimes. Austin is so self sufficient though, that I tend to overlook him. I should have learned my lesson in Colorado. His fall should have made us that much closer, but it didn’t.
“You said we’d practice my moves for soccer every weekend,” he tells me next. “You did that with me one time, Justin.”
“So I’m not the man of the year,” I admit with a small laugh. “You knew that before you came to the city.”
He hangs his head low. “Am I not worth it?”
I cock my head to the side. “What?”
He shrugs. “Maybe I’m...I’m not worth it.”
My mouth drops open a little bit. Every emotion that’s been lit up inside of me for the past few weeks begins to fizzle out. I feel terrible. I never...I never ever wanted him to feel that way. “Hey, listen to me.” I pull on his hand and make him sit down on a bench with me again. “Don’t you ever think that.”
He won’t look at me.
“You’re...you’re so important to me,” I tell him, tapping on his face a little so he’ll look at me. “You mean everything to me, Aus.”
“Then why can’t we do things together,” he whispers.
I sigh and sit back a little. It’s obvious. He needs as much love as Davey does, and not just from Abbey. He really needs me, always. “We can,” I manage after a few minutes. “I just...I guess I never really thought about it.”
“When momma and daddy were alive...I felt invisible.”
I throw my arm over his shoulders. “Yeah. I did too.”
He looks up at me. “You did?”
I nod. “They had a lot of problems, Austin.”
“They were worried about Davey all the time,” he tells me. “They didn’t have time for me.”
I sigh harshly, and try not to get emotional when I look over at him again. In a way, we’ve lived the same type of life. Only, Austin was able to learn better on his own. He’s so much smarter than I’ll ever be, and I admire him for it. “I’m sorry that...I’m sorry that I never seem to be around for you.”
He just nods a little and looks down at his lap.
“Things are going to change,” I tell him quickly. “I promise you. I’m going to be around more, you’ll see.”
“I...I don’t want to believe you,” he whimpers. “If I believe it, you might not do it.”
“I’m doing it,” I tell him harshly. “That’s it...” I forcefully pull his legs up on my lap and untie his laces before yanking his skates off. “You tell me what you want to do right now. Whatever you want, we’re doing it!”
He smiles just a little bit.
*********
“Go higher! Higher!”
I laugh a little as I push Austin on the swing. Out of everything he could have asked me for, all he wanted to do was come to his favorite playground and get pushed on the swings. I have to admit, it’s the first time I’ve done anything like this with either of my brothers. That makes me feel a little bit rotten inside. I guess I know what my New Years resolution should be...spend more time with my brothers...specifically Austin, since Davey gets so much damn attention as it is. “I’m gonna push you over the top in a minute,” I chuckle. “You’re like Evil Kenevil.”
“Who’s...Evil...Kenevil?”
I push him so he goes even higher. “Never mind. Just swing.”
“Austin! Austin, Austin!”
A little girl comes running over to us out of nowhere. I just chuckle and barely glance at her, figuring it must be one of his little friends from school. Austin stops pumping immediately. “Hi Kristy!”
Oh, fuck.
Austin gets off the swing and immediately begins to chit chat with his friend. I don’t stop them of course. They’re just kids, and it’s not fair to tear them apart. But I know if Kristy is here then Trace can’t be too far behind, although I wouldn’t put it past him to let Kristy go out by herself.
“Kris, come on,” I hear a familiar voice boom from across the park. One that I can’t mistake. “Come on!”
“But Daddy!” Kristy whines.
Then I see him storming over to us. He doesn’t look so bad actually, given the situation, but I know him, I can tell he’s fucking restless from weeks without work and nothing else to do besides sit around with his daughter. I’d leave, but really, I don’t want to look like a wimp in front of my brother during one of our few and far between bonding sessions. Instead, I lean against the side of the swing set, waiting for the inevitable to happen as Trace reaches our spot.
“Kris, let’s go.” He doesn’t even look at me as he takes his daughter by the hand. He’s holding a dog on a leash in the other, with a golden retriever puppy attached that seems anxious to get moving. It’s hilarious to me because Trace hates dogs. It’s all for Kristy.
He’s not so damn tough.
“I want to stay and play with Austin,” she whimpers. “Daddy...please.”
I know Trace is a sucker for the look she’s giving him right now. That wide eyed ‘I’m just a sweet angel, daddy’ face. He sighs and his shoulders slump in defeat. “Okay, baby,” he says to her softly as he lets go of her hand. “For just a little bit though, okay?”
“Okay!”
“Let’s go over there!” Austin says, pointing to some slides in the distance. Before long, they’re clear across the park.
And that means Trace and I are standing here, alone together.
He lets the dog sniff around the area for a while, completely ignoring me. I know it’s his intention to act like I’m invisible. I should act like that with him too, be just as stubborn. But the more I stand here, the more I realize that I miss him, even if he is a big asshole. “Hey, Trace,” I finally say to him.
He pauses, and slowly glances at me after a moment or two. “Don’t bother.”
I just roll my eyes. “I’m not trying to be an asshole.”
“Too late,” he mutters. “You’ve been an asshole for years.”
I chuckle heartily to myself. “Look who’s talking.”
He flashes me a sarcastic smirk. “You still fucking your nanny, Justin?”
I hate that he’ll hide behind this one subject so he won’t have to tell me what’s really on his mind. The fact that his life fell apart so quickly wasn’t due to my relationship with Abbey at all. In fact, she’s the one who wanted to help him out long before I did. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s really wrong,” I reply. “I know this isn’t about Abbey.”
“You’re out of touch, that’s my problem!” He yells at me. “It’s like, nothing else matters to you now besides Abbey. The firm is taking a hit, and you don’t even care.”
“Actually,” I smile. “We’re up fifteen percent over last year. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
This seems to frustrate him more than anything else. I guess he was hoping he was right. That’s I’d realized the “error” of my ways or something. Now that I’ve proved to him that I’ve been working harder than he thought, he’s pissed at himself. “Whatever,” he mutters. “You got lucky.”
“I worked my ass off, is more like it,” I tell him. “You know I always have, and I’ve figured out a way to balance work with my personal life. I mean, don’t you get it? I don’t want to be alone. I love her, the boys love her, and she loves us. We have a good thing together. I know...I know this isn’t even about that though. You could have talked to me about what’s been going on with you, man. Things haven’t exactly been the best, and I could have helped you through it. But you just...decided to go into hiding or something. Hell, I dunno, Trace. It’s weird not being friends though, I know that much.”
“Oh, so I’m just supposed to start hanging out with you again because you say so?” He glares at me and tugs on the dogs leash a little so it will go in the opposite direction. “Justin Timberlake, master of the universe...”r32;
“Why do you hate me so much?” I whisper, cutting his speech short. “It’s like, you’re so bent out of shape because I’m happy. I’m starting to think you liked it when I was a cold hearted asshole with no heart. Maybe it was because you had Syd then...a relationship, something I didn’t have.”
He stares at me, his mouth hanging open. I think I may have nailed that one, only he wasn’t expecting it at all. I never realized before just how much of an asshole I was before Abbey came into my life. I was always miserable, always cold to everybody around me. Trace was always the upbeat one, the guy everybody in the office wanted to be around. Now...things have changed. Now my employees look at me as an all around good guy. The more I think about it, I realize my execs haven’t been kissing my ass as much. They’ve been a lot more genuine. I think they’ve seen the change in me and they’re liking it.
I never want to go back to how I used to be.
Crazy, it’s like Trace and I have switched roles. He’s learning what it’s like to be on that side of the fence now, and he hates it. What’s more, he’s raising Kristy on his own now, something I’m sure he was never prepared for. Work was an escape for him. He could shove her off on a nanny and have an excuse not to spend time with her. But now that he’s not working, I’m sure the kid has him wrapped her finger. She needs him. I wish he could realize that instead of pouting about it.
“You think I’m jealous of you?” He scoffs.
“Yes, I do,” I state, bluntly. “I think you’ve been pissed since I got this position. You wanted it. You thought you could get it by sticking with me and kissing ass, but you didn’t count on me rising above everybody else. I’m sorry, Trace, you know? I didn’t realize my potential until you showed it to me. But I wasn’t going to give up the title because you might feel bad. It’s a cut throat industry. You should know that better than anyone.”
“I became your little errand boy,” he grunts.
“You really think that?” I laugh. “Trace, if I gave you a ton of responsibility, it was because I felt I could trust you more than the rest of them. I thought you enjoyed the work.”
He clenches his jaw, and sends me another angry glare. “I was working so much that I couldn’t even take the time to realize what Sydney was doing to herself,” he mutters. “By the time I did, I was in a jail cell. Now she’s dead, Justin! She’s dead because I couldn’t take the time to help her. I was too wrapped up in work to care what she was putting up her nose!”
He’s holding himself completely responsible for the whole thing. I feel horrible for him, even if I never really liked Sydney to begin with. As much as he acts like he didn’t really care all that much for her, that his feelings only lied with Kristy the whole time they were together, I know that’s not the truth. Deep down, he loved Sydney, flaws and all. He feels that her death was brought on by his negligence and greed, but the truth is, Sydney did it to herself. “You didn’t force her to snort cocaine,” I tell him quietly. “You can’t hold yourself responsible. It’s shit, I know...everything has been shit in your life for months, and...I’m sorry. I wish you didn’t have to go through it.”
“Well I did go through it,” he grunts. “I’m still going through it now.”
I shove my hands in my pockets and look down at the ground for a moment. I don’t really know why I feel compelled to be his friend right now. After the way he treated me, I shouldn’t want anything to do with him. But he hand I have too much of a history, and he was there for me at a time in my life where I was completely alone. If it hadn’t been for Trace, I guess I can say...Abbey never would have come into my life.
In a way, I’ll always be indebted to the guy.
“I still want to be friends, Trace,” I finally say to him. “I care about you, even if you think that I don’t.”
I wait for him to spout off another derogatory mark to me, but he doesn’t. He stares at me for a moment, before his face gets all red. Then he drops the dogs leash, and starts to sob into his hands. He’s breaking down, probably for the first time since he went to jail. I know how hard it is for him to do this. Trace just...isn’t an emotional person. He’s less emotional than myself. It’s awkward for me to watch him cry. I don’t really know what to do or what to say. I look out in the distance for the kids, and see that they’re still distracted with the slides, so I walk over to Trace and pick up the dogs leash before the animal can wonder off.
And then, I reach out for my friend.
“You’re gonna be okay,” I say, placing an arm around him. “It’s gonna work itself out, Trace.”
“Don’t.” He yanks away from me and rubs his face harshly. “God, I’m a fuckin’ pussy.”
“Sometimes you need to let it out,” I tell him. “You’ll go crazy otherwise.”
He yanks the dog’s leash out of my hand. “Screw you.”
He walks away from me. I let him. I know how his temper is, how he needs to think about what just happened for a few days before he’ll even think about connecting with me again. That’s okay though. I’ll let him take his time, because I know he’s too smart to let our friendship dwindle away like this. Sure, I’m not happy about it, but I’m not going to chase after him either. I have other things in my life now that are more important, and I think that’s finally occurred to him.
“Kristy’s dad made her leave,” Austin pouts as he walks back over to where I’m standing. “He’s a jerk.”
“He’s not a jerk,” I sigh, and ruffle his hair a little before putting my arm around him and drawing him closer to my side. “He’s going through something, but he’s a good person, Austin.”
“Why doesn’t he want to talk to you anymore?” Austin asks me. “Kristy says he doesn’t.”
“That,” I chuckle. “Is a story too long and complicated to talk to you about. I’d bore you to tears.”
He nods, seeming to understand my reasoning. “Do you miss him as your friend?”
“Yeah,” I tell him. “I do.”
He doesn’t say anything else. I think he can tell that it’s a touchy subject with me, that I might get a little bit more emotional than I would like to if we keep talking about it, so he just hugs me around the waist for a few moments. I smile, ruffle his hair. “C’mon, you want a root beer float or something?”
“Okay,” he says, still gripping my waist as he looks up at me.
We start to walk off together, and I pause with him at the corner to hail a taxi.
“Justin.”
I look down at him. “Yeah, Aus?”
“I’m glad you’re my brother.”
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
