I’ve been numb for days.
That said, I think I did an excellent job of putting on a happy face for my boys. They don’t know anything about this...about Braeden. Justin told them I’m taking a trip to see my family for a few days, and they’ve been fine with that. The most Austin told me was that he wants me to bring him back a souvenir, and it was really hard holding my emotions back from him as I promised him I would and kissed the top of his head. I tried the hardest I could not to seem confused, distant, or unhappy while they were around. Barbara’s call came on Friday, and it took all the stamina I had in left in me over the weekend to keep my head. Austin and Justin still went to their shooting competition, and even though Justin told me I didn’t have to, I made the effort and went to watch with Davey. I knew it was important for the boys to still see us like a family, and I wasn’t going to let them down. I put on an act I guess. It was the first time ever that I hadn’t been completely genuine around them.
I felt fucking horrible about it, and I still do.
Justin was withdrawn over the weekend. We barely talked, and weren’t physical with each other except for the occasional kiss or hand hold. We put our efforts into keeping the boys happy, giving each other the occasional uncertain glance whenever they were distracted enough. I knew he wasn’t angry, though. He made it clear to me the morning after I’d gotten the call that he wasn’t, and he never would be. He kept saying it was something I had do. I had to go see Braeden. I had to shut our relationship and the boys out of my life until I got back.
While a huge part of me knew I had to go, that I couldn’t desert Braeden after almost seven years of being told he was dead, the other part of me wanted to stay. Wanted to stay home, wrapped in Justin’s arms so he could shield me from all of it. Shield me from my pushy family, from the possibility that I would see Braeden for the first time in years and completely forget about the love Justin and I had built together. I didn’t want to forget him. I was in love with him. Everything had been so...perfect. Our relationship had blossomed, both of our lives had changed for the better. Justin was a better, more caring person in general, and living in fear of growing close to somebody else was no longer a burden in my life. We had a semi perfect holiday season and wonderful week in Paris that made our relationship so strong that nothing about my past seemed to matter.
I’d moved on, completely.
Then Barbara called, and my world was shattered, for the second time in my life.
Of course I’m happy. Of course I am. Braeden is alive and that in itself is a miracle. I don’t know what he was put through, where he was kept, or what he was made to do while he was gone. Barbara couldn’t give me that many details. She was barely able to tell me the basic news without becoming hysterical, so I decided not to ask questions until I saw her. I keep imagining how he’s going to be...I’ve dreamed about it, what he’s going to look like, and what he’s going to say. Part of me thinks he’s going to be so far gone that he won’t even remember me. The other part of me knows that he’s so strong that he’ll mostly be like the man I remember...
That he’ll love me even more now. That he’s going to do everything he has to do to win me over again, the moment he finds out I’m with someone else.
I’d like to say it’s going to be hard for him to do it, but I’d be lying. Braeden has always been able to get deep down inside me, from the first day he asked me out for burgers and fries. He’s always known what buttons to push to get me frustrated, what buttons to push to make me forgive him, and what buttons to push to make me melt inside. It had always been such a genuine love with us, and I know...I know on his end, it still will be.
Do I still love him?
Yes.
But I love Justin too, in a different way. One that I’ve never experienced before, and don’t want to give that up, even for Braeden, and I certainly don’t want to give the boys up either. That means I have a lot of things to think about, and in the end, it will come down to a choice. I can’t just turn one of them away for the other. I love them both too much to simply toss a coin.
Needless to say, I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do. But I do know, in the end of this...somebody is going to be unhappy, and that’s killing me inside.
I called Charlene early the next morning after Barbara’s phone call. Justin had gone for a run and the boys were still in bed, so I figured it was the best time to face the situation at hand. I didn’t expect her to want to talk to me. We hadn’t been talking, and I hadn’t been the greatest friend, so I braced myself for the worst.
She picked up on the first ring. “My mom called last night and told me what’s going on,” she said immediately. “I wondered when you were going to call me. What can I do? Do you need anything?”
The fact that she was concerned, was the first thing that made me smile since Barbara had dropped the news on me. “I thought you were...
“I’m sorry, Abbey,” she said, gently cutting me off. “I just...I guess I didn’t understand how serious things were with you and Justin. I’m not mad at you. I could have went back home for Thanksgiving if it was that big of a deal to me. I was being dumb.”
“I’m the one who’s at fault,” I said, beginning to sob a little. “I’ve been a terrible friend.”
“You haven’t,” she said, seriously. “I don’t want you to think like that right now. There’s too many other things going on.”
I sucked in a breath, knowing she was right, and quickly changed the subject. “Are you...are you going to DC?”
“Yeah of course, with you,” she told me. “I have your ticket. I figured you would be too much of an emotional mess to remember you needed to book a flight, so I called your parents and told them I’d take care of it.”
I didn’t have to question it. She was, and would always be, my very best friend.
“How are you?” She asked me next.
“I don’t really know,” I admitted, sorrowfully. “I’ve been crying for twelve hours.”
“How’s Justin taking this?”
“He’s...” I paused and sighed, running a hand through my messy hair. “He’s supportive, I guess. He wants me to go. He said he’ll be waiting for me when I come back.”
She was silent for a few moments. “He really loves you, huh?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, and tried not to break down over the phone. “He does. I’m worried about him. I know he’s taking it harder than he’s letting on, and the boys...I don’t want to hurt them either. We haven’t told them what’s really going on or anything. They probably wouldn’t understand anyway.”
“Abbey,” she said gently. “You can’t focus on them right now, and I think Justin is trying to get you to see that. He’s backing off and letting you handle this, that’s what it seems like to me anyway. You need to face this, head first. I mean, it’s Braeden. Braeden is coming home.” I could hear her smiling and crying at the same time. I couldn’t blame her. He was one of her closest friends. “I mean, I can’t fucking believe it. He’s going to get an earful from me, you know that.”
I smiled through my tears and reached up to wipe them away. “Yeah,” I laughed softly. “He’ll forget he was ever gone.”
Her laughter died away. “I hope so.”
Deep down, I knew she was just as scared of the potential dramatic change to Braeden’s personality as I was. I couldn’t be more thankful that she would be by my side when we finally got to see him again. She told me we would fly out Sunday night, since the rest of the family was getting on on Monday, and to spend the rest of the weekend getting my head together, before we ended the call. I guess I should have called my parents, or at least my sister, but I just...I just didn’t want to. I didn’t want to drive myself anymore crazy than I already was.
So I collapsed back into my pillows and threw the blanket over myself, until I heard the boys playfully yelling to each other downstairs. I knew my day had started, and I wasn’t going to let it pass me by. I wanted that time with them, and Justin too, if he would let me have it. I found that Justin had returned from his run when I finally made my way downstairs. He was seated at the kitchen island with the boys, eating the breakfast that Lucinda had prepared. It was one of the only times he’d gotten them settled down on a Saturday morning without my assistance, and it told me something. It told me that Justin was sending me a small message. That he was capable of handling the boys if I was suddenly out of the picture. Whether that message was a conscious one from him, I wasn’t sure.
But it still gave me chills.
Austin and Justin took second place in their competition that day, and while Austin was a little bit disgruntled about it, Justin, surprisingly enough, was completely happy with the turnout. It was a world away from the Justin that attended his soccer game. The one that was determined for him to win no matter what the cost. He was just happy to have spent that time bonding with Austin. I was proud of him, even if I couldn’t exactly show my feelings to him then. We went to Serendipity afterwards to celebrate. The boys, naturally, devoured their treat.
Justin and I barely touched ours.
When we got back to the house, Austin and Justin gloated over their trophy for a few minutes, before Justin announced that he had some work to catch up on in his study. He left us then, and barely looked at me. I hated it. I hated what I was doing to us.
I sent the boys off to play video games, and did the best I could to try and talk to Justin while we still had the time.
He was on the phone when I entered his study, and only slightly glanced up at me as I took a seat in front of his desk.
“Hang on, Joe.” He covered the mouthpiece with his hand, and finally met my gaze. “Hey baby. You need something? I’m on a call.”
His eyes were small, and tired. In all honesty, I knew he hadn’t slept at all the night before, and was sick with worry. “I thought we could talk.”
He forced a small smile. “I’m...I’m just in the middle of something. How about later?”
I knew later wouldn’t come, and so did he. He wasn’t exactly avoiding me, but I knew he was in pain, and trying his damnedest to keep that from me. “Sure.” I nodded.
“Great.” He didn’t say another word to me. Just got right back on the phone.
My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. I made another attempt to talk to him that night, when he finally came to bed after midnight. I think he assumed I would be out cold, and when he discovered that I wasn’t, I saw him tense up right away.
“Hey,” I said gently. “You okay?’
“I’m so tired,” he said, giving me a small kiss on the mouth as he pulled the covers over himself. “That call went on forever.”
“Yeah.”
“What time is your flight tomorrow?” He whispered after several minutes of dead silence.
“Eight at night, I think.”
“I’ll take you,” he offered quietly. “Lucinda can watch the boys.”
“I think Charlene was going to meet me here,” I explained, knowing his feelings about her. “We were going to taxi it.”
“No, Quincy will drive. I’ll go with you. You should call and tell her we’ll pick her up.”
It occurred to me that he wanted to see me off, that he loved me. That he was confused, scared, and in turn, that was making him a little less willing to get emotional with me. I forced myself to understand. I had to, because he’d sacrificed so much to understand my situation. “Justin.”
I felt his hand touch mine in the darkness, and I immediately grabbed onto it. I needed that physical comfort from him then, no matter how small.
“I love you, Abbey,” he told me softly. “Please don’t forget that.”
I drew closer to him and rested my head against his chest. It took him a few moments to embrace me, but when he did, he held me so tight, as if he never wanted to let me go. “I could never forget,” I said, feeling my emotions give way. “I love you too. So much.”
I felt his body trembling, and then I heard him sobbing. He’d let go, he was finally allowing his true feelings about me leaving to shine though. I let him, held him close, and ran my hand up and down his bare back.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he finally said.
“You...you won’t,” I whimpered back.
“You can’t know that.”
It was the truth, but I couldn’t say anything. Nothing I could say would make things easier, or better, just worse, so I kept my mouth shut.
I let him cry himself to sleep, just like I’d cried myself to sleep the night before.
Then the sun was shining through the window, and I knew we only had a few more precious hours together, just the two of us, before our lives would completely change all over again. He helped me pack a suitcase, and I made sure not to pick out any outfits that were too revealing. I knew he trusted me completely, but still...I didn’t want to seem like I was out to impress Braeden with my looks or anything. I was Justin’s. We hadn’t broken up, and I had an obligation to come back to him without fucking things up more than they already were. We took the boys to a little deli by the house afterwards, and listening to the two of them ramble on about the events in their lives helped us both I think. It got our minds off what would be happening that night, and I think we needed that more than anything else.
Four o’clock came around, and I knew we had to get moving so Charlene and I could get through security on time. I said goodbye to both of my boys, and I know they didn’t notice, but I hugged them and kissed harder and longer than I ever had before. It hurt me to leave them behind, even if they weren’t worried about it. Justin had to practically drag me out the door, so we wouldn’t be late picking up Charlene.
The car ride was mostly silent, especially after we picked Charlene up from her apartment. They did greet each other, though. Justin even gave her a little kiss on the cheek, and when she looked back into his eyes I could tell she thought a little more highly of him than she did originally. Justin and I held hands for the duration of the car ride, and when Quincy pulled up to our terminal, he had Quincy handle our bags at curbside check in, while the three of us we went inside together. Justin stood to the side while we checked ourselves in, and silently walked us to the security checkpoint. The moment I saw the rope barriers, notifying the public that no one other than a ticketed passenger was allowed beyond that point, I knew...I knew it was time to say goodbye to him.
“I’ll meet you at the gate, Abbey,” Charlene told me with a knowing expression her face. “It was nice seeing you,” she told Justin, and pulled him into a small hug.
“Take care of her, huh?” he said quietly.
She winked at him. “I’ll sure try,” she promised, before heading into the long line of people going through security.
Then we were alone.
“So...I...I should be back in a few days. Maybe by the weekend,” I said, as I looked down at my shoes. “Just make sure Austin doesn’t skimp on his homework or anything, and don’t let Davey con you into letting him eat half the jar of cookies before dinner.”
“You know I wouldn’t,” he laughed softly, but it died away almost as soon as it started.
I looked into his eyes, and knew I was crying. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “Nothin to be sorry for.” He leaned down and kissed me gently at first, before it grew into something more powerful. There was a longing in his kiss. One that was begging me to please come back to him. “I love you, okay? Just...be careful. DC isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’ve taken enough business trips there to know. There’s all kinds of muggers and weirdos. I put some mase in your suitcase.”
“You didn’t.” I laughed through my tears.
“Yeah, I’m a loser,” he said, sniffing a little bit to hold his tears back. “I made you a care pack too. It’s in your carry on.”
I smiled a little brighter. “Did you put fruit snacks in it?” I croaked.
“I just might have,” he laughed. “C’mere.”
He hugged me one long, last time, and we kissed for a while, practically made out in that airport until I knew I had to leave or would miss boarding the plane. “I love you,” I told him, as we began to pull away from each other.
He smiled. “Call me when you get in, promise?”
“I promise,” I whispered.
He watched me walk into the line of people, staring at me for a moment, before waving a little, and turning on his heel to walk away. I saw him rubbing his eyes as he did, and knew he’d started to cry. Then he was out the doors...gone. When I turned back around, I couldn’t help but start to sob it all over again.
We landed in Washington a little after nine that night, and I was settled into bed around ten forty five. Charlene and I had separate rooms, thankfully. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to her, but I knew I would have plenty of opportunities to do it over the next few days. She told me she would come knocking the next morning so we could get ready for the rest of our family to arrive, and left me alone for the night. I couldn’t get to sleep right away, so I made sure I called Justin to let him know I’d gotten to our hotel in one piece. He kept our phone conversation short, telling me to have a good time, and to call him when I was ready to come home.
“I love you.” I told him.
“Me too,” he whispered. “Night, Ab.”
I hung up, and stared at the ceiling for a few moments, asking myself if what I was doing was right. I thought of Braeden, wondering where he was in the world right then, and if he was as confused as I was about seeing each other again. I thought about our families, what they were thinking, if they were going to be calm about this or just drive me fucking crazy the moment we met up with them the next day.
I slept for a whopping two hours.
Charlene came knocking at my door early the next morning, forcing me to get out of bed and get ready to face everybody. Despite how fucking tired I was, I managed to be showered and dressed within the hour, and when I came out again, she told me that everybody was waiting for us at a restaurant a few blocks from our hotel. I didn’t want to go, and I think she knew that, but we both knew there was no choice.
We arrived at the restaurant, and were escorted to the back where large parties were seated. I let Charlene go into the room ahead of me, trying to collect my thoughts and my stamina before I had to face my entire family all at once. I saw my parents, my sister, Barbara, Sammy and Mark seated around a large rectangular table. I was slightly surprised. I thought there would have been more people, but I assumed the extended family was waiting to see Braeden when he flew back to Colorado. There was only so much room, after all. I was relieved though. The less people I had to deal with, the easier it would be on me, emotionally.
I entered the room cautiously after I’d watched Charlene greet everybody, and stood there for a moment. My sister noticed me right away, and ran around the table, throwing her arms around me. “Hey, you,” I smiled and hugged her tightly, keeping my gaze focused on the rest of the family.
They were all staring at me.
“Come on, I saved you a seat,” Hannah smiled and pulled me towards the table.
“Hi.” I waved awkwardly at them all. It was silent for a moment, as if they were all trying to determine who was going to break the ice first.
“Hi baby.” My mom got up and held her arms out to me. It took me a moment. I didn’t know what to think because our last encounter had been so awful. But right then, none of it seemed to matter to her...to any of them. I stared at my father, and Mark, and Barbara, and Sammy. They were smiling at me gently, telling me everything was going to be okay. That things were going to start getting back to normal now. That they were sorry about how they acted in the past.
So I let that all take over, fell into my mothers arms, and just...I just cried. I cried because I’d missed it, being with my family. Things were so bad for so long, and I never thought I’d be able to be that way with them again. It was like, Braeden was coming back into our lives so that meant the past didn’t matter anymore. Everybody was acting like things were going to be so perfect.
But the thing was, they had no idea what Braeden was going to be like, or how he was going to feel. It scared me that they had such high expectations of his return but...really, why wouldn’t they? He was alive. It was a miracle. I kept forgetting that. I kept forgetting that if it wasn’t for Justin being in my life, I would probably be acting exactly like them.
My parents, Barbara and Sammy decided to spend the rest of that day together, doing their own thing, and gave the rest of us some free passes to the Lincoln Memorial and the Smithsonian to keep us entertained for the rest of the day. Of course I told Charlene I wasn’t up for it, but she practically forced me to go with her, Hannah and Mark, telling me it would keep my mind off of things for awhile. I reluctantly went along, catching myself staring off into space time and time again when we were looking at an exhibit or when they were trying to take pictures of us in front of some stupid statue. I just wasn’t into it, and rightfully so.
“Here.” Charlene pressed a few bills into my hand after we stopped for lunch, seeming to give up on me because I hadn’t taken a bite of my food. “Go back and lie down. You can’t be like this tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” I huffed.
I managed to fall asleep a little while after I got back to my room. I’d dug around in my carry on looking for my sleep mask, but didn’t find it. I did however, find the care pack that Justin told me about. It was filled with fruit snacks, raunchy tabloid magazines which he knew I liked to indulge in, and a couple of opera cd’s. One being the exact opera we’d seen in Paris. I popped it into the CD walk man I brought with me, and allowed it lull me off to sleep...dreaming of him, of us. Of the future we should have been having together.
It was to be the only relaxing moment of the entire trip. I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating, nauseated. I threw up in the bathroom. I knew what was coming, what I was going to have to face in the morning no matter how I felt about it, no matter who I was in love with.
“Here.” r32;
Charlene hands me another Rolaid and I take it from her gratefully. I’ve thrown up three times in the bathroom since we’ve gotten here. The nice airport escort was very understanding, waited for me as the rest of the family went ahead through the terminal. There’s all kinds of press here. Some of them were talking to Barbara and Sammy before. They’re so happy, they don’t care about answering the reporters questions. I wouldn’t talk to them. I was afraid I would throw up all over them, and Charlene did a good job of warding them off.
They said the plane just landed. It’ll be any moment now.
There’s another group of people positioned all the way to the right of us, another family. It’s a woman, a little boy about Austin’s age, and some other adults too. This morning a military liaison came to the hotel to escort us all to the airport. We were told that there’s another POW coming with Braeden. I remember now. Anthony Holtoy. He said...he said that Anthony has been missing for thirteen years. Thirteen years and there is his wife, waiting for him to walk through that door like he never even left. She’s not with anybody else. At least, it doesn’t seem that way. But looks can be deceiving. I wonder how she feels. If she’s thrown up like I have. If she’s stayed up night after night wondering what the hell became of her husband.
I feel like I’m fucking dreaming right now.
“What do I do, Char?” I whimper as I chew the Rolaid. “Char, what the hell do I do?”
“Shh.” She rubs my shoulder consolingly. “It’s Braeden. You’ll...you’ll know what to do.”
I just nod a little bit as I sob openly in the airport terminal. She places an arm all the way around my shoulders and pulls me close to her so I can lean into her and cry. Nobody says anything to me. They know I’m a wreck. That Braeden’s return home has pushed me to my limit, because I’ve been in love with somebody else for almost a year. What am I going to feel like when he walks through that gate? Will I automatically fall in love with him again? Or will my feelings for Justin shine through? Prove to me that he’s the one I truly belong with.
I have no fucking clue.
The gate door opens with a soft creaking sound. My family huddles together several feet away from me, their large, tacky banner spread across their group that reads “Welcome Home Braeden!” The military liaison is standing with them, talking to them about something I should probably be hearing. But I can’t stand with them. I just want to hide, and God, God I don’t know where I’d be right now without Charlene.
A flight attendant walks out first, a large smile on her face as a man in military camouflage walks out behind her. At first I think it’s Braeden, and my heart stops, but I quickly realize it’s not. His hair is jet black, and he’s much older. I breathe out a sigh of relief.
“Anthony!”
The woman that was standing with the little boy breaks away from her group and rushes over to him, throwing her arms around him despite the fact that the poor guy looks like he’s been on the brink of death for weeks. It makes me cry harder, knowing that she and her family have suffered the same type of loss that I have. She clings to him tightly as if she’ll never let him go, and soon, the rest of her family joins in. Then she’s kissing him. They kiss...and kiss...and kiss...like they never want to stop. Then he’s holding his son in his arms, his smile wide as he rubs the little boys back and kisses his face. I see him glance over at me slightly, for the briefest of seconds. He nods, acknowledging me.
He knows who I am, and who I’m waiting for, which can only mean that Braeden has told him a lot about me.
I feel sick again, but I can’t run to the bathroom now.
More people begin to walk through the door. Lots and lots of people. Braeden isn’t out yet...
I know he’s at the end of this line. I know he waited to be the last one off, so he could figure out how he was going to act once our entire family lunged at him. I know he’s nervous. His stomach is in knots. He wants to hug his mom, dad, his brother.
But I know...I know that I’m the one he really wants to see the most.
I can’t handle this. I just can’t.
“I’m leaving.”
“Abbey stop being ridiculous.” Charlene grasps me firmly by my upper arm and glares at me.
“Charlene...”
“Oh God,” she croaks, letting go of my arm, her face ghostly white because she’s seen somebody else walk through the door.
I know he’s there.
I look up.
And I see him.
Barbara breaks down as Braeden walks through that door, and Sammy has to hold her up. He’s dressed in his military camouflage, the same way he was when he left me seven years ago. He has some bruising and scratches on his face, but for the most part he’s been cleaned up, new hair cut, clean shave. I can tell how sick he is though, how thin, how worn out. He’s a shell of the lean, muscular guy I used to hold in my arms, and cuddle with on the couch at night. But it’s still him. It’s still Braeden.
I stand and stare. I can’t move. Can’t speak. I just watch as his mother slowly steps towards him, and begins to cry hysterically all over again as he wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her shoulder. It seems to take years and years before she’s able to let go of him, and even then, she still has her arm around him as his father goes in for his hug. They pat each other on the back, squeeze each other for a good amount of time, before breaking apart. Mark comes next. They hug hard. His brother cries into him for a bit, forcing his mother to step aside for a few moments. I realize how much of a miracle it must be to Mark, to have his brother back. He always idolized Braeden.
We’re so lucky. So lucky that he’s alive.
My parents and my sister come next, hugging him hard. My mother even cries into him for a while. Still, I dont’ move up. I don’t fling myself into his arms like Anthony’s wife did to her husband. Charlene doesn’t leave my side. She’s sticking with me. I think she knows I’ll run off someplace if she doesn’t. I figure that maybe he won’t see me. Maybe...maybe he forgot. Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore. He shouldn’t. I wasn’t loyal. I didn’t wait for him. I gave up.
“Char.”
He’s two feet away from me now. That’s the closest he’s been to me in seven years. I’m trembling, can’t say a word, I can’t even look at him, just at the floor as I nervously wring my hands together.
“Braeden. Thank God.” Charlene lets go of me. I don’t look up. I know she’s hugging him. Hugging him so hard because...he was her best friend. We were all best friends. I can’t face this. I can’t.
“I told you I’d be back.”
He’s speaking to me this time, and his voice is weak, pained. Hollow. I force myself to look at him. It’s him. It’s the Braeden that I love, minus some weight, and minus the lively light in his eyes. His eyes are...dead now, unemotional. They’re showing me the pain he’s been through, and that he’s still going through. It’s so quiet now. I look around, and find that everybody has stepped back from us. They’re all waiting for this. It’s the biggest reunion of their lifetime. That’s great for them, but I don’t want to fucking do this while they’re here. Char is one thing. She doesn’t overreact, but they all will. “I thought...” I trail off, and run my hands through my hair. “They said you...you were dead,” I whisper. “I didn’t know...I didn’t know what to do.”
He slowly, cautiously steps up to me, stares at me for a few moments, before slowly cupping my chin in his hand. I shudder at his touch. I’ve waited for it for years, to feel his fingers on my face, tracing up and down my skin. It’s still the same, still warm, still makes me tingle inside a little bit. My lips begin to tremble, I don’t want to pull a Barbara and become hysterical, but when I find that the tears have already started rolling down Braeden’s face, I can’t help myself. I sob heavily, my legs begin to give out and I start to fall to the floor before he catches me in his arms and pulls me upright again.
“I’m here.” He pulls me close to him and wraps his arms around me. “I’m here now.” He pulls back and nods, caressing my face with his hand before pressing his forehead against mine. “I love you so much,” he smiles, as more tears pour down his face. “I never stopped loving you, Babs. I never gave up.”
He kisses me powerfully.
I let him kiss me. Nothing makes me hesitate, nothing makes me think of anybody else. All I can think about is Braeden, all the years we’ve been apart, how badly I’ve missed him, how much I’ve longed for him.
Everybody is cheering, crying tears of joy as we continue to kiss in front of them. I’ve lost all train of thought. My Braeden is here with me again. He’s kissing me. I open my eyes, pull back from him a little and let him wipe some of my tears away. He’s smiling. It’s a weak smile. I know it’s taking all of his strength and energy to do this right now, and he’s doing it all for me.
“I’m never leaving you again,” he whispers as he cradles me in his arms. “Never again, Abbey.”
I can’t answer him back though. Certain things start to rush back to me the longer I stand here, and I begin to realize what I’ve done. A realization begins to take over his expression, and the longer he looks at me, waiting for me to say something, to tell him that I love him too, the more I realize he can tell...he can just tell...
That there’s somebody else.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you all so much for the support! I really appreciate it, and I've worked hard to get this chapter out for you all! Enjoy! In case you are all wondering what Braeden looks like, my muse is Will Estes.
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
