I didn’t know what to think after Abbey gave me the news. I told myself she would go welcome Braeden back to civilization. I figured it would be an emotional time for her too, and I promised myself that I would be supportive no matter what happened, because I loved her. That day at the airport, I made sure to let her know just how much our relationship meant to me, and that I’d be waiting for her to come home to the three of us.
But I didn’t count on this.
Monday came like any other, with the exception that I had to get two kids up for school on time so I would make it into work and not miss my board meeting. Abbey tried to make things easier for me by putting a weeks worth of outfits together for the kids, and leaving a list of things for Lucinda to do for me so I wouldn’t “lose my mind” as the note said. I found that Davey is easier than Austin. He’ll get right up and do what he’s told, while Austin procrastinates and whines that he wants to sleep in for ‘five more minutes’. Now normally, if Abbey was around, I’d be okay and have some more patience. But since she wasn’t, and that fact was stressing me out more than life itself, I lost my patience a little bit.
“Get up,” I grunted, and ripped his blanket off of him, tossing it onto the floor. “Right now!”
“It’s cold!”
“Deal with life! I am!” I yelled, and stormed away.
They both made it to school on time. It probably would have made me feel proud, like I accomplished something more than a big share buy in, but I couldn’t focus on what I’d done. I could barely focus on work. I just sat there in the conference room, while Dennis made a huge power point presentation about share holders and profit margin. I knew I should have been paying closer attention, and commenting on various things, since I knew he’d worked hard to get it done for me, but I just....I couldn’t.
The only thing I could think about was Abbey, and the fact that Braeden was going to walk back into her life the next day. When I got home that night, I considered calling her about a thousand times. I even picked up the phone and began to dial before something stopped me. I knew I couldn’t. It was like...she’d been plucked out of my life temporarily. There were things going on in her life at that moment that neither I or the boys had a place in. She’d called me to tell me she got in okay, and that should have been enough. I had to continue to wait it out. I was smart enough to know that too.
But it was fucking hard.
I found myself not being able to sleep without her that night. I tossed and turned, dreamed of her in a thousand different situations. I could see her telling me that she didn’t love me anymore. That being with me was something temporary until Braeden came back. She said: ‘thanks for the good time.’
I woke up sweating, breathing harshly, and sobbing just a little bit.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so damn unstable.
It was pissing me off. I was tired of waiting even though it had only been a day. I just wanted her to say hi to the guy and come home already.
But I would soon realize, that it was never going to be that simple.
I went to work the next day, and managed to find a new project to busy myself with. It was mostly thanks to Dennis, who barged into my office that morning with an excited gleam in his eyes. He threw his proposition at me, and we talked it through most of the afternoon. I even left work an hour late, tired, but looking forward to what we were about to embark on. It was the first time in months I’d been completely immersed in work. I felt bad because I knew I missed dinner with the boys, and they’d be eating alone with Lucinda. Abbey never would have approved.
But Abbey wasn’t around to approve or disapprove of anything I was doing.
When I got home, I found Austin and Davey in my bedroom. The TV was blaring and they were sprawled out on the bed with some activity books.
“Hey guys.” I smiled and loosened my tie as I stepped into the room and sat between them on the bed, giving them both light kisses on the head. “How was school? Did you behave for Lucinda?”
“Look, Justin,” Davey smiled, disregarding my questions as he pointed at the TV. “It’s Abbey!”
My attention snapped to the TV screen automatically. The news was on, and I can only guess the boys were watching because the Simpsons was coming on in the next five minutes. The news anchors were reporting a story about two missing soldiers that had been found. I recognized Abbey immediately. She was crying, and there was Charlene beside her, hugging a man in military camouflage.
Abbey looked tired, but beautiful, and I would have given anything to make her stop crying.
What I saw next though, changed my attitude entirely.
I recognized Braeden when he stopped hugging Charlene. He was almost identical to the man I’d seen in the picture, except this version was much paler, much skinner, and had a pained look in his eyes that seemed like it would never go away. I had no problem watching him hug her or anything. I expected that. But then...
Then he started to kiss her.
I waited for her to stop him. To tell him that her life had changed and she loved somebody else.
But she never did.
Then the newscaster cut it off, and talked about how wonderful it was to see things like that nowadays and blah blah bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
I sat there, my mouth hanging open a little, completely dumbfounded. I felt like somebody had kicked me in the gut seven times and told me that Goldman had burned to the ground.
“Why was Abbey kissing that man?” Austin asked me next.
I looked at him. He was waiting for me to answer him, and I had no idea what to say, because the truth was, I didn’t have a fucking clue myself. “She was...she was just pretending.”
The answer was stupid, and I knew it.
“He’ll believe that,” Austin motioned to Davey. “But I know better.”
I scowled slightly and flicked off the TV. “Get ready for bed,” I grunted.
“But it’s only seven!” Austin whined.
“Yeah, only seven!” Davey pouted too, and crossed his arms. “Abbey lets us stay up til nine.”
“Fine.” I muttered, rubbing my top lip. “Just...just go...play or something.” I forced them out of my room after that, and they stood in the hallway staring at me, as I closed the door in their faces. Yeah, I felt like shit for it.
But at that moment, I couldn’t focus on the boys, as much as I knew I should have.
I sat down on the bed again, sighed harshly and buried my face in my hands. That pain was still there, more powerful than ever, right in the middle of my gut. I couldn’t understand. I thought she would have waited or...thought about it, or remembered me...sitting home without her, having given her my full support, only to witness her stabbing me in the damn back. But was it backstabbing? Should I really have expected her not to do something like that? It wasn’t like she initiated it. I saw it with my own eyes. He kissed her. I started to think that she might have been confused...
But I couldn’t make myself truly believe that. The more I thought about it, the more I began to convince myself that she had fallen back in love with him.
The more I began to convince myself that she wasn’t coming back to me.
A little voice inside of me piped up, telling me to prepare for the worst. I listened. I needed to prepare myself to be left in the dust, just like I’d been in my childhood and adolescence. I couldn’t be a wimp, I had to rely on myself. If Abbey left, I had to be prepared to take care of the boys all on my own. There would be no more nannies. I couldn’t trust anybody else. I would have to get Lucinda to work on her English, and she could be my housekeeper and child care all in one.
I started to work on that plan immediately, signing Lucinda up for English classes the very next day, which she was grateful for. I also went through my closet, which had been changed over months ago to house both my clothes and Abbey’s. I separated it all, placed her things in a spare room, because I had to be prepared.
She was going to leave me. I could sense it. I knew it. I was stupid to believe that Braeden wouldn’t sweep her off her feet. She’d loved him all along, and I’d just been second best. That’s all I would ever be.
I cried so hard that night. I hated myself for opening myself up to her. I hated myself for being in love with her, and even more because I couldn’t stop loving her. I realized it didn’t matter if I shipped all of her possessions back to Colorado. There would always be that presence of her in my house. Just spending time with the boys would remind me of her, because she’d instilled so much of herself in them to make them better people. I started to think back on all the things Trace had warned me about, that I was getting in too deep and I would regret it. I was too blinded by my feelings for her to listen, though.
And I was going to pay for it, dearly.
Tomorrow is Saturday. She called me yesterday while I was a work, left me a voicemail. She said she’s coming home tomorrow, that she needs to talk to me. She also asked if I could call her back.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I think I would have blown up at her over the phone, and that...that just wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.
So instead, I asked Dennis to take my brothers for the weekend. I lied, told him I have to meet with some clients over the weekend, but he didn’t seem to mind. His wife is cool with it and his kids are the perfect companions for the boys. I had Quincy bring them to his house after they got out of school, and when I came home, I smiled a little, knowing I was alone. I sent Lucinda away for the weekend too, just to make sure nobody would be here to witness my pathetic state of mind.
I’ve been sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine since I came home, listening to her god damn voicemail over and over again.
“Hey baby. I guess you’re working. Hopefully you’re doing okay. Things have been...well, I won’t lie...things are crazy here. I’m coming home on Saturday. I hope we can talk. Maybe you can give me a call tonight or something? I hope the boys are doing okay, and not driving you too crazy...”
There’s a long pause. I chuckle to myself.
“Well I...I love you. I’ll talk to you when...when I talk to you I guess.”
“Liar.”
The call clicks off. I refill my wine glass, and redial my voicemail again.
"Hey baby..."
I close my eyes as I listen to her voice. Fucking hell, I miss the shit out of her.
I guzzle my glass of wine and then I just give in and start drinking straight from the bottle. Soon my eyes begin to feel heavy and I know I’m really drunk. The phone slips out of my hand, still blaring the voicemail for the millionth time, and I curl myself into the sofa, clutching the bottle with one hand and pulling a throw pillow to my chest with the other. I feel the hot tears travel down my face, and don’t bother to wipe them away as I guzzle more wine from the bottle.
“Welcome home, Braeden,” I slur. “I hope you and my girlfriend will be very, very fucking happy together. Remember, she likes it a little rough now and then. It’s been a while, ya know? Thought I’d give you a couple’a pointers.”
I laugh at my own joke. Then, I pass out.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm CRAZY. Here is the next chapter, lol.
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
