“You could be a little more excited about this.”
I shrug, as I watch him fix his tie in my mirror. “I am excited.”
He turns to me and smirks. “Yeah, you’re really acting like it. Look man, it’s not like I don’t understand. You’ve been holding out for Abbey, and...you’ve given it your all. You’ve tried. The girl just...she doesn’t want to be with you, hell, I don’t think she wants to be with anybody. You’re friends, and that’s all your ever going to be. That means you have to move on. I’m gonna help you do it. I know a lot of women. This girl seems a little more genuine. Genuine women hang out with other genuine women. I’m sure her friend will be a great match for you.”
“You realize you make no sense, right?”
“Maybe not,” he winks. “But at least you’ll get laid tonight.”
Trace’s outlook on women is so fucking warped, and it’s the very reason why I don’t like to go out and meet them with him. But what else do I have to do? Spend every day and night with my brothers? I mean, yeah, I love them...but I’m twenty five years old.
I shouldn’t be trapped inside my house all the time. Trace is showing me that. He’s showing me that I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t start living again. Until tonight, I’ve been trying to get my life back without his assistance, figure out a way to get Abbey back, to get her to love me like I love her. I wanted her to move back in with me and the boys instead of taking them every other weekend like she has court ordered visitation rights.
But I can’t get her to take me back, no matter what I do, what I say, or how hard I try. She says she’s “not ready.” I make myself understand, because I have to.
It probably wouldn’t be so hard on me, if she didn’t come here so much during the week to “spend more time with the boys”. We eat dinner together when she does that, the four of us, and most of the time she ends up falling asleep on my couch with the boys at her side. I find her that way after I reemerge from my study. I hide there usually, after dinner, because I can’t bear to be next to her for that much time. I like to watch her when she’s sleeping. For a while, I forgot what she looked like when she slept...so peaceful, so beautiful. I’ll get so lost in watching her sometimes, that it will be after one before I’ll finally be able to carry her to a bedroom and set the alarm for her, making sure she won’t be late for work.
I never say anything to her about those nights.
I know she needs them...
Because she misses me.
She just won’t allow herself to believe it, and I know it’s because she’s afraid.
And that’s my fault. I accept full responsibility. I mean, this is what happens I guess...when you tell the woman you love that you never loved her. The shit is confusing.
Most of the time, I lie in bed, trying to think of ways to turn back time. It’s crazy. If the technology was right I could probably pay some scientist to build me a time machine.
But there is no such thing. I have to live with my mistakes and tonight...tonight my conscience is telling me that I’m doing the right thing by going on this date. That my best friend is trying the best he can to get me over Abbey, and I should be thankful for him. Thankful that we can be this close after last year and all the shit that happened.
So I will be thankful for him.
But the date...I still don’t know if I can stomach it.
“Can I cancel?”
“Fuck no.” He grabs his blazer from behind him and throws it on. “I talked this date up big so this girl would get one of her friends to come along. I’m not letting you make me look like an idiot. I kinda like this one. She’s...really easy going, if you know what I mean.”
I roll my eyes. “I-I’m not going.”
He storms over to me and pulls me to my feet by the arm. “We’re gonna be late.”
“Where do you meet these bimbos?” I mutter, as I allow him to drag me to the bedroom door. “I really...I really dont’ want to meet some psycho tonight, Trace. I’m stressed out enough as it is. The last time you set me up, I had nightmares afterwards.”
“You did not.”
“I did.”
He sighs and opens the door. “Can we go, please?”
I can hear the boys laughing and running around downstairs with Kristy, as Beth yells at them to calm down. I smile a little bit. Lately, I think the only thing that can get me to smile is them. They’ve been so much better since Abbey came back. I don’t think I realized how important she really was to them until she moved back here. They smile and laugh every day now. They’re both doing great in school, I don’t fight as much with Austin...and...and I guess I’ve sort of gotten back into the swing of things with them too. I have my Austin Fridays and Davey Sundays again, every other of course, since Abbey takes them now. It’s easier for me though. I can plan out my weeks, knowing I’ll be leaving work early every other Friday. It’s easier on the company too.
Things with work have been so much better. I’ve gotten my head together, taught myself how to balance my time with the boys and the company all over again. I’ve stopped sleeping around, and stopped going out to late business dinners with Trump and Trace. They’ve dealt with it. Trace is mostly to thank for that. I’m still in the deal, mostly as an investor. Trace does all the footwork, and traveling, and I’m glad. I know it’s something he enjoys...property dealings. When he was with Goldman he seemed to be going through the motions. The money he made turned him into this robot that only cared about making more and nothing else. His new career brought him closer to his daughter, and for that reason alone, I’m glad that he doesn’t work for me anymore.
It’s like...ever since Abbey came back, things have been so much better...easier. Life has been better in general.
But she’s still not mine.
“Justin.”
r32;“Yeah, I’m coming.”
He sighs, narrows his eyes at me, and walks out the door. It takes me a moment more for me to follow him. I pathetically pull my Blackberry out of my pocket, checking to make sure Abbey hasn’t tried to call or text. I was hoping maybe...she reconsidered my dinner offer.
But I should know better.
“Justin! Can we come with you?” Austin throws his arms around me when I get downstairs, and I laugh a little as I ruffle his hair. “Please?”
“Not tonight, buddy. It’ll be too late for you. Abbey is coming tomorrow to pick you up. You’ll do some fun stuff with Davey then.”
He sighs. “I wish she could have come to get us tonight.”
“Yeah, but...she’s out having some fun. You know...sometimes she needs to do things for herself too.”
When she told me that she had plans, I have to admit, I was a little surprised. I’m not a genius, but I don’t think I have to be one to figure out that Abbey has no life outside of work and the boys. I hate that. She’s..special, and deserves to have fun, but I guess...her fear holds her back. I’d like to thank the person that’s managed to get her to do something with herself. I keep wondering who it might be...
If it’s a guy.
But if it is, and she enjoys herself with him tonight, I’ll live with it.
The important thing, is that she’s happy.
“I know,” Austin whispers. “Maybe tomorrow you can come with us. Abbey promised she’d bring us to Great Adventure this weekend.”
I raise an eyebrow and laugh. “Oh yeah? She’s gonna take up that challenge all by herself, huh?”
Austin grins. “She said she’d go on Superman with us if we’re both tall enough.”
I smile for him, knowing she’s perfectly capable, and that it’s definitely not my place to interfere in their time. It would be awkward, and uncomfortable for both of us, even though it would be nice to spend that time with my brothers. “I think you’ll have enough fun with Abbey, without me coming along.”
“Oh, okay.”
He’s disappointed. He hasn’t said it because I know he’s happy Abbey is back but...he misses having us together. It’s that one vital missing link that makes us a family...her living here, us being in love. I know if it happened, the boys would be whole again...
And I would be too.
“You should get to bed soon, okay?” I ruffle his hair one more time before pulling away from him. “Abbey’s gonna be here around noon to get you, and I don’t want you two cranky, all right?”
“Okay, Justin.”
“Let’s go, man.” Trace is standing by the door with an impatient look on his face. It’s obvious he’s already said his goodnights to his daughter. He’s ready to go.
I’m so not ready.
I give Davey a quick hug and a kiss, and ask Beth to make sure they get to bed at a decent hour, before Trace practically yanks me out the door. Quincy is waiting for us in the Escalade, and Trace makes sure I get in before him, probably so I can’t run back into my building. Then he gets in, and...we’re off.
“So where are we going?” I mutter, after a while.
“Dinner, dancing...you know, crap that women like.” He shrugs. “I thought we could get a table and a couple of bottles down in Chelsea tonight.”
A loud nightclub isn’t really my ideal spot for a date, but I figure that if it’s loud, I won’t have to talk to this girl. Just let her grope me and feel me up as I drink myself ridiculous, so I’ll go with it. “Cool.”
r32;We pull up to the restaurant about a half hour later. Trace gets a phone call on the way there from “Shawna”, who he later tells me is his date for the evening. He flirts with her on the phone, and it makes me sick to my stomach knowing that whoever she is with, is the girl that I’m going to have to face tonight, put on a fake smile for, and...might have to make conversation with.
When I get out of the Escalade, I feel like I’m about to puke right there on the sidewalk.
“Hey.” Trace says into his phone as we stand outside the place. “Are you guys in there? Yeah...we’re here. Justin, yeah....he’s cool. No I think your girl is gonna like him a lot. He’s a little shy though...” He trails off and laughs out loud. “I didn’t know you could be so nasty...”
r32;Really?
“We’re coming in. Okay, I’ll see you in a minute.” He hangs up and sucks in a breath before grinning at me. “I forgot how hot she is.”
“Where did you meet her again?”
“Starbucks,” he laughs. “I took Kristy for hot chocolate last weekend. She just couldn’t resist my fatherly charm.”
“Only you would use your daughter to get a date.”
“Hey, if I wasn’t with Kristy, I still could have gotten a date with this one.”
I just roll my eyes, and push past him so I can walk inside the place.
“Mr. Timberlake,” The maitre d' greets me pleasantly. “How nice to see you.”
It’s normal. They all know me. I think I’ve been here before for a business lunch or two. I nod at her. “Thanks. We’re meeting some...”r32;
“Yes, right this way.”
My money can buy me anything, I swear.
I look over my shoulder as she begins to lead me directly to our dates. Trace is right behind me, grinning devilishly.
I’m nauseated.
“Well, hey,” Trace steps in front of me as the we stop at our designated table. I see who must be Shawna sitting there, looking at the menu, and she immediately snaps to attention at the sound of his voice. She’s pretty, I guess. Definitely not my type. She seems too immature and bubbly. That kind of woman annoys the shit out of me.
I hope her friend isn’t the same way.
“Hey, daddy.” She crinkles up her nose as she smiles. “Nice that you could make it...and...” She cranes her neck around him slightly so she can see me, since I’ve decided to practically cower behind him. “You brought...oh...”
Her eyes widen and she gasps slightly. It’s obvious that she knows who I am. It figures, but why wouldn’t she? This is New York City, and unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve see my face once or twice. My smile flies on as Trace motions me forward to introduce myself. “Hi.” I shake her hand. “I’m Justin.”
“Yeah...wow...” She laughs nervously.
She wasn’t expecting this.
“Justin’s my best friend,” Trace says. “I know he’s kind of...in the spotlight or whatever, but I figured you would be cool about it. He needs to get out a little more, you know?”
Why doesn’t he just tell her why whole life story?
“Oh yeah, sure,” she smiles. “Um, Abbey is just in the bathroom, but she should be back soon.”
I just stare at her. “Abbey?”
“Yeah, my co-worker. She’s nice, and she works hard. I think you two might have a lot to talk about.”
We all sit. I look down at the table.
It can’t be.
It can’t be her.
“Abbey who?” Trace finally asks.
It’s the million dollar question. I feel my palms sweating.
Please don’t say Feldman.
Please, God, don’t let her say Feldman.
“Feldman.”
Oh mother of God.
“I almost got lost...this place is....”
I look up just in time to meet Abbey’s gaze. She’s breathtaking as always, wearing a little too much makeup, but I blame Shawna for that.
Is this really happening right now?
“Justin,” she blurts out, her eyes wide, her cheeks a brilliant shade of red. “What...I mean...” Her eyes dart back and forth between Trace and I. “What are you two doing here? ”
“Wow.” Trace laughs loudly. “I mean...what the fuck are the odds of this?”
“You all know each other?” Shawna gasps.
You would think out of the four of us, she would be the most confused right now. But no, she comes in a close second. I think I take first for this one. I don’t even think about the consequences, all I know is...I have to leave, right now, before start confessing my undying love for Abbey in front of a stranger. I get up quickly. “It was nice meeting you,” I tell Shawna, before I turn and walk out.
Trace doesn’t stop me. I know he gets it. I know if he were me, he’d be doing the exact same thing.
This is so fucking unreal and embarrassing.
“Fucking damn it.” I lean against the building when I get outside, the fresh air immediately allowing me to breathe more easily.
Out of all the women in Manhattan, Trace meets Abbey’s co-worker in a Starbucks, and asks her out.
Out of all of Shawna’s friends, she asks Abbey to go on a double date with her.
What the fuck? I mean, can fate be anymore cruel?
I’m gonna puke. I need to get home. Right now.
I dial Quincy. He doesn’t answer. I’m sure he’s stopped to eat dinner, and even though he works for me, he’s always made it clear that when he’s eating...he’s eating. Shit, I don’t care. I’ll cab it.
“Justin.”
God, Ab. Just go away. I can’t take this. I can’t take standing here in front of her, while she lists all the reasons why we can’t be together anymore. I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of making attempt after attempt of asking her to dinner, to go for a run, to do anything with me without the boys. Trace is right. I do need to move on...
Before I go fucking crazy.
I ignore her. I never thought I would again, but I am right now. I put my hand out, waiting for my taxi to stop and take me away from all this madness.
“Justin...just wait a second.”
I feel her hand gently touch my shoulder, but I shrug it off roughly. “Just...go,” I snap.
“I didn’t know about this.”
I turn back to her, shooting her a harsh glare. “Of course you didn’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have shown up. I already asked you to dinner, remember? You turned me down.”
“We’ve talked about this,” she sighs.
r32;“I know that! Okay? I know. You’re just too busy to give a fuck about us anymore.”
I walk further down the block, determined to get away from her. For a few minutes, I think she’s given up, either gone back to the restaurant or simply caught a taxi back to her place. It gives me enough peace of mind to stop walking so I can catch a taxi of my own again. It takes a good ten minutes more, but one finally stops for me, and I’m just about to get in...
“Let me ride with you.”
I glance back over my shoulder. It’s her again. Why? Why is she trying to talk to me now? It doesn’t make sense. She constantly avoids me. Why is tonight suddenly so different? “Are you kidding me?”
She gets into the cab.
“What the fuck!”
r32;“Are you getting in or what?”
I pace back and forth for a few moments, knowing the cab driver is glaring at me, growing impatient because I’m wasting his time. I don’t want to get in there. I don’t want to be trapped in a cab with Abbey, because I don’t have anything to discuss with her. She’s made her decisions, and I’ve finally started to accept them.
“Justin.”
I stop pacing, and sigh harshly when I look at her. Her expression is serious but her eyes are saying more than she wants to let on. She...cares.
She misses me.
I want to give her a chance.
But if I get shot down one more time by her, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.
“What,” I rasp. “What now?”r32;
“Just get in.”
I do it, slam the door behind me, and cross my arms sternly across my chest as the driver pulls away from the curb. “Where to?” He asks after a moment.
“Ninety five West...”
“No,” Abbey speaks over me. “Can you take us to Little Italy?”
I turn my head quickly and stare at her. “What’re you doing?”
She shrugs.
I open my mouth, to yell back at the driver, to tell him to take me home. The longer I wait to do it though, the more I realize that Abbey is now giving me the opportunity to back out of this.
In fact, I think she’s expecting me to do it.
It’s her little escape route, an excuse, so the next time I decide to ask her out, she’ll tell me “I had my chance.” She doesn’t want to go to Little Italy. She doesn’t want to go anyplace with me.
But she just fucked herself over, because I’m not backing out of this.
She’s mine for the night. I’ve won, and she doesn’t even know it.
I start to laugh my ass off.
“Justin...”
I can’t stop. r32;r32;“Have you lost it?”
“It...” I clutch my stomach and lean against the door, feeling the tears rolling down my face because I can’t stop laughing at the whole thing. “It’s...it’s just so fucking hilarious.”
“You’re drunk, right?”r32;
“No.” I wipe at my eyes and let out a long breath, finally able to regain control of my laughter. “It’s just that...you’re such a plotter, you know that?”r32;
She glares at me. “What are you talking about?”
“You just gave me a way out,” I chuckle. “You...you were expecting me to turn you down weren’t you? You thought I was pissed off enough to do it, didn’t you?”
She shakes her head roughly. “No...no...I...I wasn’t thinking that.”
“Bull.” I shake my head. “You’re so damn crafty sometimes, Ab. Good thing I know you well enough not to fall for your stupid shit.”
“Aren’t you going to tell him to take you home?”
Her tone is so hopeful.
“Nope,” I smirk. “We’re going. We lucked out too, it’s a nice night. Maybe we can go for a walk on the pier, huh? Have some gelato and crap? It’s a little cold, but you can wear my jacket.”
She slaps a hand over her eyes. “Fuck.”
It’s my chance. My one chance to get her alone, to talk to her...to tell her how much I still want to be with her.
I have to do this.
I have to give this my all, because if I don’t get her back tonight...
I never will.
Author's Chapter Notes:
A quick update! I have no power and no time to be at a wifi spot for more than an hour or so at a time until the weekend. Hope you enjoy!
Story Tags: triangles justinandtrace executivej
