I glance at my wrist watch.

8:57

Whenever I had an interview back in the beginning, I was always at least a half hour early, even earlier if I could be.

But this girl is about to be late, and I hate that.

She’s a member of Cheryl’s family, so of course I’m excited to give her a chance, but the fact that she doesn’t seem to be prompt is getting under my skin.  Well, I guess I’m not in the best mood this morning either.  Mason had a bad night.  He started to cry in the afternoon while Abbey and I were in bed.  He kept coughing and wheezing, just wouldn’t stop crying no matter what Abbey and I did to comfort him.  We checked him over and over again to make sure he wasn’t running a fever, and finally determined he was just having an off night.  He fell asleep in her arms this morning as I dragged myself out of bed, and I guess it’s better that he did this now, rather than when I really need to be on my A-game for work.  I told Abbey to stay put, to call to check in on the boys, and order in some breakfast for herself, before assuring her that I would be back around noontime to be with them again.  She didn’t ask questions.  She knows I have an interview this morning, and that I have to stop at a few places on the way back to sign off on some stuff.  We’re leaving tomorrow, so I have to make sure everything is in order before then.

Hopefully, I’ll have an assistant by the end of this trip too.  A prompt one.

9:00

Not looking good.

9:01

Late.

I rub my forehead with my hand, and sip my coffee.  Five minutes is my limit, after that, I’ll have to start posting adds on Monster...and deal with...weirdos.

Oh god.  I need Cheryl so bad.

“Mr. Timberlake?”

A young girl rushes up to the table, stinking of cigarette smoke, and I stare at her for a moment, before having to accept that she must be Jessica.  She’s dressed nicely, skirt and blouse with heels, and her makeup is simple, professional.  Typical for this type of work.  She has wavy, shoulder length brown hair, and big, vibrant brown eyes.  There’s a seriousness in them.  One that I’ve seen somewhere before, that I can’t quite place right now.  No matter.  I nod at her.  “Jessica right?”

She sticks her hand out automatically.  “Yes.  Jessica Mantieri.”

I shake it.  “Traffic?” I ask, as she slides into the seat adjacent from me in the booth.  

“Hm?”  She cocks her head to the side and her big brown eyes grow wider as she begins to dig through her oversized bag for something.

“You’re late.”

“Oh...”  She glances up at the clock on the wall as she pulls a manila folder out.  “I...”

“In this business, you realize you have to be ready to work on the dot of the hour, don’t you?  I mean, if you want to work for me anyway.”

“Y-yeah.”  She looks down at her lap.  “I’m really sorry.  I just...I was trying to get here.  I just...”

I wave my hand at her, as I catch myself.  I hear Abbey’s voice in the back of my mind, warning me to be a little bit nicer and more understanding, and weird as it is, something makes me pay attention to it.  “Stop,” I laugh.  “It’s...I’ll let it go for today, all right?  You’re Cheryl’s niece.  It’s the least I can do.”

She smiles slightly.  “Thank you.”

“Is that the resume?” I say, acknowledging the folder in her hands.

“Oh...yeah.”  She smiles uneasily as she passes it across to me.  

I open it up and scan the paperwork for a few minutes.  The first thing I read about is her army history.  She spent a year in basic training, and another year at Fort Hood, before she was deployed.  “You just got back from Afghanistan?”

“About six months ago.” She sits up a little taller and clears her throat.  “I thought my aunt might have told you.”

“She told me you were in the army...”  I shouldn’t be so hesitant.  It’s just that...I know from experience how these people fresh from the war zone can be.  Braeden was a prime example, but I guess I shouldn’t discriminate.  This job is so important, though.  She’s going to have to be my sanity while we get this place up and running.  I want to trust her and look past her military background, but...I have to be sure that she’s cut out for this.  “I’m just trying to figure out if you’re ready for this type of work.”

“I’ve been in school.  I work in the admissions office a couple of days a week too, doing some filing.  I’m not...crazy...” she trails off and laughs.  “You can call and ask them.”

“No, I’m not saying you are...”

“I expect this,” she speaks up, sadly.  “We get a bad rap.  You know, fresh off the war zone...people think we’ve been tortured.  I wasn’t.  I...I had a decent run over there, but I’m trying to get on with my life now.  I’m not reenlisting or anything, I’m just trying to focus on school.  I need a job though, and my aunt called and said this would be a good opportunity for my resume.  She said you would be willing to give me a chance.”

I blow out a long breath, feeling like shit for tearing into her.  I remember Cheryl now, how hard she’s worked for me, and know that giving her niece a fair interview will be like payback in a way.  I break down and decide to ask her the normal interview questions that I always do after that.  I ask her about her family background, where she thinks she’ll be in five years, what her strengths and weaknesses are.  Her answers are all normal and what I like to hear.  She’s from Chicago.  The youngest of five children, all boys.  It’s no wonder she was able to make it through the military.  It tells me that she’s strong.  Stronger than I thought she was.  She’s smart too.  Very smart and independent.  A thinker, a self starter.  A problem solver.  A listener.  

I suddenly realize I’m not going to find anybody else that’s better than her, without putting in a lot of time an effort that I don’t have right now.  I can hire her and be done with the headache, get back to Abbey and my children that much faster.  “Do you think you can start next week?”

She shrugs slowly.  “Well...I’d miss class.  They start up again on Monday.  I was hoping I could arrange my schedule next week and start the week after.”

“Miss Mantieri, with all due respect, I’m trying to get my business off the ground.  I need to sit down and go over some things with you, but before I can, I have to go back home and finalize things.  I need you to be at the temporary office to take phone calls and communicate with me over the phone and through emails while I’m away. I’m sure you can manage to work your school schedule around your office time.  I’ll be gone two weeks at the most.”

She sucks in her bottom lip.  I know I’ve caught her in the middle, and she’s not sure what she’s getting herself into.  I wonder how much Cheryl has told her about working for me, if Jessica just thought this was going to be a la dee da filing job like the one she has at her school.  I’m not sure, but it shouldn’t matter.  I’m her boss, and it’s her job to do the work the way I want.

“Well...I...I guess I can do it.”

“You guess?”

She narrows her eyes at me, like she’s annoyed.  It’s the same look I’ve seen on my wife’s face a thousand times before, except...she’s allowed to do that.  “I said I can, didn’t I?”

It takes me a moment to make my final decision.  I’m not a fan of her attitude, I know that, or the fact that she wasn’t prompt, but what other choice do I have? We’re down to the wire, and I need somebody capable and smart.  “Fine.  Then I’ll be expecting you to be at the office Monday morning, eight am, sharp.  I’ll leave you keys, security codes, and the appropriate ways I can be reached.  I’ll be calling you right at eight.”

We both get up.

“Thank you, sir.”

I shake her hand, but don’t smile as I pull back from her and start to exit the diner.

“Oh, and Jessica,” I call back over my shoulder.

Her head snaps back up.  “Yes?”

“Lose that attitude before then.”

I walk out without giving her a second look, and walk back to my car, letting out a long, relieved sigh.  I think this will work out.  I know I’ve intimidated her, and that usually makes people perform better, at least at Goldman.  Yeah, I think I’ve made a good choice in Jessica, and I smile a little with that in mind.  It’s one less thing I have to worry about.  I get into my car after that and scroll through my Blackberry, trying to figure out what’s next on my morning agenda.  I sigh when I find that the list is still extensive, and start to wonder if I’m going to be able to meet that noon deadline with Abbey after all.

The phone rings.  It’s her, and I smile.  “Hey baby.”

The first thing I hear is a baby screaming it’s head off.  I frown.  It has to be Mason.  “Abbey?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, Justin.  He’s wheezing again.  It’s worse than last night.”

She’s sobbing.  It’s serious.  Mason has to be sick.  “I’ll...I’ll be right there.  I’m a few miles away, okay?”

“Just hurry.”

I do about ninety miles an hour down the road, double park the car in the fire lane, and race up the fire stairs to the twentieth floor of the hotel.  Abbey is standing in the middle of the main room when I burst through the door, holding Mason in her arms as he screams and coughs, trying to catch his breath.  I take him from her, rock him gently in my arms, and try my best to calm him.  “Get Vicki.  We have to go to the ER.”

She nods her head rapidly, not saying a word as more tears glide down her face and she begins to prepare Vicki for the trip.  I dial down to the desk and ask them the best way to the hospital, and explain the situation.  The woman wants to call me an ambulance, but I’m so paranoid that I refuse.  I’m determined to get us there myself, and so, she gives me the address to the nearest hospital, which thankfully is only about ten minutes away.

I speed there.  Abbey yells at me the whole way, telling me to slow the hell down as Mason continues to scream.  It makes Vicki scream and cry too.  I’m sweating, trembling as I grip the steering wheel.  This is all on me, and I know that.  

If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.

I jolt the car to a stop in front of the ER’s main entrance, and get Mason out of his seat, leaving Abbey to tend to Victoria as I race inside, panicked.  The nurse is alarmed when I reach her desk, and I guess most people would be.  I know I’m crying now, worried fucking sick about my Mason.  “He’s...he’s...I dont’ know...”

“Sir...calm down.”  The nurse gets up and waves somebody over as she comes around the desk and gazes down at Mason.  “What happened?”

“I...I don’t know.  It’s like, he can’t breathe.  He was wheezing last night, but it wasn’t this bad...I should have taken him to you last night but...fuck...”

How could I let this happen?

How could I turn a blind eye to his ailment, think he would be fine? Go have a meaningless interview while he was suffering and could have...died?

I’m a terrible father.  He’s barely been alive for three months and already I’m putting business first.

What the hell is wrong with me?

A doctor comes up to us after a moment, and the nurse whispers something to him.  After, he takes Mason from my arms, and tells me to take the elevator up to pediatrics. Then, my baby is whisked away.  I can hear his violent screams all the way down the hall.

“Where is he?”

I turn.  Abbey is standing there, with Victoria in the carrier, the tears still running down her ghost white face.  She’s worried sick.  I go to her and kiss her on the lips before pulling her close to me.  “The doctor took him to pediatrics.”

“Wh-what’s wrong with our baby, Justin?”

I shake my head slowly.  “I don’t know.”

I take her by the hand after that and we silently ride the elevator to the appropriate floor.  Victoria coos and squeals happily all the way, oblivious to what’s happening.  That’s good I guess, but she’s just a baby and wouldn’t know what was going on regardless if Mason was sick or not.  The nurse at the desk escorts us to the intensive care waiting area, and tells us the doctor will fill us in once there are more details, before giving me a few forms to fill out for the insurance.  I finish them quickly, and then we just sit there, not speaking, not looking at each other for the longest time.  Abbey starts to whimper again.  It’s obvious she can’t control it, and I know I have to be the strong one.  I have to stand by her and get her through this, no matter what happens.

“Shh.”  I slowly drape my arm around her and pull her head down to rest against my shoulder.  “He’s gonna pull through.”

“What if he doesn’t?” She squeaks.  “Justin...”

“He’s a Timberlake.”  I smirk as I kiss her forehead.  “We’re survivors.  You know that.”

Victoria starts to have one of her freak outs, and so I force myself to pull away from Abbey so I can reach down into the carrier and pull her into my arms.  I kiss her forehead a few times and gently bounce her in my arms as I gently guide the pacifier back through her bright pink lips.  I get it in and smile as she quiets.  

“Mr, and Mrs. Timberlake?”

Abbey and I jump up from our seats at the same time as the doctor stops in front of us.

“Is my baby okay?” Abbey blurts out, sniffling loudly as she wipes at her eyes.  

“He will be,” the doctor smiles.  “He’s lucky though.  If you two hadn’t thought to bring him in when you did, the results could have been much worse.”

She breaths out a relieved sigh, and starts to cry all over again.

“What...what’s wrong with him?” I ask, as I allow Abbey to cry into my chest.

“Seems like he got himself a bee sting on his head.  His hair was covering it, so you never would have seen it,” the doctor smiles.  “Were you outside at all yesterday?”

 “Yeah.  We...we’re buying a house.”

“Well, your boy is allergic.  You’ll have to be careful from here on, make sure he’s protected when he’s in places that flying insects like to dwell.  He’ll be fine.  We have him on some anti inflammatories and antibotics at the moment, and we’ll keep him for overnight observation.”

“Overnight? No...” Abbey trails off and shakes her head roughly.  “No.”

I rub her shoulder consolingly.  She has this thing about being away from them for any amount of time.  Its a big part of the reason why they’re here with us in Dallas, because Shawna offered to take the week off to watch them, so we could make this trip without them.  Abbey wouldn’t hear of it though.  She’s so attached to them, hell, I am too, so I can understand.  “Baby, they have to.  They need to make sure that he’s okay.”

“I’m sleeping here,” she says automatically.  “With him.  By his bed.”

The doctor smiles.  “That’s just fine, ma’am.”

“Can we see him?” I ask.

“Sure.  This way.”

He takes us inside the room where Mason is, and I continue to hold Victoria in my arms as Abbey gasps and rushes to the little plastic bed that he’s being kept in.  He has a few tubes running in and out of him, and I have to look away at one point because it’s so gut wrenching to see.  I feel like I did this.  That I should have known better...been more careful.

Thank God he’s all right.  That’s all that keeps repeating in my brain.  Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.  I eventually sit down in a chair beside Abbey and the crib, close my eyes while keeping Victoria snug against my chest, relieved that nothing else is going to go wrong today.  Things are going to be different after this though, I know that.  I’m going to be more on the ball, a hell of a lot more attentive, and I absolutely refuse to let work get in the way.  The solution is to hire more people to do the things that I normally do, so I can be around for my family a hundred percent.

I’m not going to allow anything else to hurt them again.  Ever.

And if that means working my people to the bone, so be it.  

“The realtor called,” Abbey whispers after a long while.  “He said the offer is good.  The owners will be out in a week and a half.”

I wish I could be happier about the news.  Right now, I’m so distraught, I couldn’t care less.  “That’s good, Ab.”

She turns to me.  “We should have brought him here last night.”

“We didn’t know.”

She nods.  “I knew something was wrong...I just...I didn’t want you to worry, so I let it go.”

“Babe...” I trail off and get up so I can stand right beside her, and place a reassuring hand on her cheek as I cradle Victoria with my other arm. “We’re new at this.”

“That’s not an excuse.”  She turns back to Mason, and gently grasps his tiny hand in hers.  “He could have...something horrible could have happened.”

“But it didn’t.”

“That doesn’t make us any less irresponsible, Justin.  I mean, we were having sex and Mason was sick!  What happens when we move? When the boys are here too, and I’m trying to handle four kids at once while you’re at work?  What if I neglect Mason or Victoria then?”

Victoria begins to cry, and it distracts me.  I know she’s due for a bottle, but unfortunately, we rushed out of the hotel so quickly, I know all of our supplies are back in the room right now.  I hold her in both of my arms and rock her gently, trying to get her to calm down enough so I can focus on my overly distraught wife.  “Abbey...”

“Look, just go back,” she whimpers.  “All I’m doing is making things harder on you.”

“That’s not it...”

“Please, just go, okay?  I’ll call you in the morning, when Mason is ready.”

I adjust Victoria in my arms and fumble with her pacifier, which she keeps refusing.  “What’s the sense in pushing me away?”r32;
She turns back to Mason.  “I need to think for a while.”

“About what?”

A surge of fear sweeps over me.

“Maybe we shouldn’t move.”

My mouth drops open.  “What?”

“You heard the doctor, we’re going to have to watch out for bugs.  There’s tons more down here than there are in New York.”

“That’s a really stupid reason to cancel our lives.  There’s a million things we can do to prevent this from happening to him in the future.”

“Are there really?”  She glances back at me over her shoulder.  “Or are you just saying that because your precious business might get fucked up if we stay in the city?”

I glare at her, and shake my head.  “You’re...you’re out of it, you know? I’m doing this for us, Abbey.  You know that.”

“I just...I just don’t know right now, J.”

“You know...fuck this.” I let out a bitter laugh.  “I...I can’t believe you right now.  Don’t you realize how many sacrifices I’ve made to get us to this point?”

“Because it’s all about you, as always.  Don’t think about me, you know? I’m just the one who spent the last few months in fucking bed, while you went out and conquered the damn world every day.”

She’s angry at herself.  I keep telling myself that.  It’s not me.  It’s not Dallas.  It’s the simple fact that our baby is sick and she feels responsible.  I wish I could convince her otherwise, but right now, I feel like I need to back off.  She’s like me in some ways.  She can get scared, push people and things away from her without realizing how important they are.  “I can’t do this with you right now.  I’m just gonna go, all right?”

“Give me the baby.”  She reaches out for Victoria.

I back away.  “I got her.  She needs a bottle and her crib.”

“I said give her to me,” she whimpers.

“No.” I just refuse.  I refuse not because I want to tear Abbey away from her daughter, but because I know what’s best, and right now, the hospital and a distraught Abbey isn’t the right mix for Vickie.  “C’mon, Ab.  You know she can’t stay here all night.  She’ll be a mess tomorrow.”

She closes her eyes and lets out a long breath, like it’s killing her to agree with me.  “Fine, but you better keep an eye on her.”

She says it to me so coldly, like I’m a shitty father.  I kiss Mason’s forehead quickly, and then I storm out on her without saying anything else.

It’s the first time I’ve left her without telling her I love her since we got back together.

I hate this.  

It’s fucking ridiculous.

But there’s nothing I can do.

I take my time driving Victoria and I back to our hotel. I think about everything on the way.  I think about the first time I ever laid eyes on Abbey, the way she was able to put me in my place that very night at my place, even though I tried to act so damn unfazed.  I remember the way I felt about her after I barked an order at her to bake a million cupcakes for Austin.  How I lied awake in bed and wished somebody like that could be in my life, rather than trashy hoes who only saw me for what I had and not who I was.
And then...it happened, because she changed me, and fell in love with that person.

Now she’s my wife, and I...I would do anything for her, for my brothers, and for our children.  Does she still believe that? I mean, up until this moment I was sure that she did.  I guess seeing her baby lying in the hospital has warped her, made her rethink a lot of things, and now she’s questioning everything about the life we’re recreating for the good of our family.

This is a step back for us, and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do to fix it.

I get us back to the hotel, and lay Victoria face up on the bed as I prepare her bottle.  She wriggles around, laughs and smiles as I stand over her.  I do my best to keep a smile on my face, sing her a silly little rendition of “Old MacDonald,” while I wait for the bottle to warm up.  I sit back against the headboard and cradle her gently in my arms as I feed her.  She stares up at me with those eyes as she takes the bottle, and it takes me away for a little while.  Reminds me why I love Abbey, reminds me of how hard we worked to get to this point in our lives.  Our love is strong.  Stronger than anything I’ve ever known, and I know...I know she’s angry and said stupid things, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to be apart or anything.

Tomorrow.  Tomorrow everything will be fine.

I burp her once she finishes her bottle, and change her diaper before putting her down in the crib.  I move it right next to my bed, so I can watch over her while she lays there and dozes off, and soon enough, I’m drifting off myself.  I forget about my interview this morning, forget about all the errands I was supposed to run today.  None of that matters right now.  

The only thing that matters, is my family, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get Abbey through this, so we can move forward.

That's what marriage is all about, after all.