I know it's been a crazy past few days, but I love what these guys go through to make sure I'm ok. JC has hardly left my side, James checks on me a couple times a day via phone or dropping in, Justin texts me all day, AJ calls in the morning and at night, Aaron texts me every couple hours to see if I need anything, Joey and Kelly bring REAL food (hospital food tastes like ass), momma Lynn stops in three times a day, and Aaron told Angel who has stopped in every day to make sure I'm healing. I'm on day 3 of my hospital stay and I just WANT OUT. I appreciate JC being here and all my visitors, calls and texts, but I miss a real bed. The showers here suck so bad and I smell funny from the hospital soap. Just shoot me now. "Josh, I want to go back to your house," I whine for the fiftieth time in five hours.
"Min, you know they're trying to make sure the infection is gone and the stitches are helping you heal the right way. Without an infection this time. I hate being here too, but it helps you deal with it."
"You can always go home." He shakes his head.
"I'd rather deal with smelling like a hospital than leave you here alone. Aaron and Justin have been bringing clothes for us. The nurses said no perfumed soaps to prevent infection."
"Leilei, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Mazyck asks me.
"I feel like going home."
"Your wounds are healing very well and we can allow you to use your normal soaps. If the blood we took last night shows little or no signs of the infection, we can let you go home after 9 tonight," she informs me.
"Yes! Finally! Thank God!"
"You really do hate hospitals," JC speaks, pointing out the obvious.
"Jacey, I hate hospitals as much as you do needles."
He shudders. "You're horrible."
"You would rather it be me than anyone else," I remind him. He shrugs, basically admitting it to me.
Alright, you're probably wondering why nobody knew Nick is abusive and why I had the six that found out this time keep it on the low. James doesn't even know that my dad used to beat my mom, forcing her to send me to my uncle and aunt's in Mississippi at the age of three, between her beatings. They raised me as if I were their own and I talked to my mom on the phone every few days. James believes I became an emancipated minor at 17, but I had been one since she died the summer I was 15. I waited two years before telling him because I wanted to finish school.
I graduated when I was 16 because I asked for that to happen when I went to high school. The superintendent went to the school board and requested it. They said only if I kept my grades at an A/B average, which I did. I took all my English, history, and science classes necessary during freshman year, leaving me to focus on math for a whole year. I went through alegbra 2 through to trig in a school year. I took extra English, science and history courses to cover for not taking specials like gym. I also went to night school as well. I did my sophomore and senior years in night school and during the day, I went through my freshman and junior years. The school board approved that with the grade stip and I was granted my diploma when I was 16.
I've known Nick since I was 16, he became my first boyfriend and lover when I was 18 (dated for six months before he deflowered me), known JC as Josh since I was 12, haven't really kept in touch with JC since 04 and actually forgot who he was for a long time. Seven years will do that to you if you don't look at pictures alot and name everyone in them.
I was almost always with Nick and usually only kept in touch with James, Justin and Chris outside of Aaron and the boys. In my mom's will it says that I should be an emancipated minor the exact time she passes and Uncle George helped achieve it because he wanted to keep his promise to have it done. My mom had her will notarized in Clinton, Mississippi and I was raised between my aunt and uncle there and my gramma in Leominster, Ma. I lost my gramma two weeks before my mom was beaten to death by my dad. There is a lifelong restraining order in place and I renew it each year. Johnny took me under his wing to learn how to manage artists, be in the industry and run a business. I've been my ex's manager, ran James and Justin's businesses with them and grew up behind the scenes.
I lost my mom and gramma when I was 15 and I've been in my mom's proverbial shoes since I turned 24. If I said or did something wrong in public, Nick would give me the 'wait till we get home later' smile, beat me, I'd hide until it healed, he'd promise to never do it again to get me back in his control, we'd make love and all would be forgiven and forgotten until it happened again. Three years is enough, I've had it and now I'm walking away from a nine year relationship. It's all I've known and he told me if I told anyone, he'd kill me. So I told no one and hid away when he'd do that to me. I've gone to Sinai at least 66 times for stitches, staples, a few casts, and to be checked for injuries. It started with a punch and it's ended with me where I am now-in a hospital bed with Joshua Chasez, being cared for by real friends and wanting Nick dead. I know it seems harsh, but you need to realize that 1/3 of the trips were because of miscarriages after telling him I was pregnant.
He's killed me emotionally and mentally for three years after building me up for six. When he first hit me, it was because I had thought he was cheating on me and called him out. Come to think of it, if I had said it six months earlier I would've been dead on. I had gone to visit him on tour, said something in the back lounge and he punched me in the face. He gave me a black eye and said to keep this to myself. I've always parted my hair so that I could cover the right side of my face with it, that's what I did and said nothing to anyone. I covered it with make up the next week and a half.
Now he can rot in hell like the festering piece of meat that he is most of the time. I've had a crush on JC since I was 13, but I don't want to rush into another relationship. I have to get to know him better than I do currently and as bad as this sounds, I'm glad this happened because it shows his true colors. I'm slowly learning everyone else's true colors as well, who they really are and what I mean to them.
JC fell asleep on me, my meds are kicking in (morphine drips rock), and my cell rings. "Hello?"
"Minny, are you ok?"
"Jane?" I'm not so groggy now.
"Yes, are you ok?"
"I'm fine."
"Aaron said to call you ASAP."
"Yeah, I need to talk to Bobbi."
She huffs in frustration. "Just a minute. Bobbi Jo! Phone, it's Minny."
"Thanks, mom," I hear BJ's voice come on the line. "Hey, Min-Min."
"Hey, Bobbi."
"What's up?"
"You know how I've backed out of plans with you over the past three years?" Might as well get straight to the point.
"Yeah, what about?"
"It was because your brother would beat me."
"What do you mean?"
"He would hit me."
"Ok, I don't really believe Nicky would do that."
"You in LA?"
"I landed at three this afternoon and mom is flying back in ten minutes." I hear them call the LA to Tampa flight over the speakers.
"Stop by Sinai on the way back to where you're staying."
"I'm staying at Nick's."
"Well, just stop by. Sinai, third floor, surgical wing and ask for me by name."
"I'm on the way," she says, permitting herself to sound confused and worried. About 45 minutes later, I had already informed the nurse about Bobbi's anticipated arrival and she was shaking me awake. "Leilei Jasmin, wake up!"
I yawn, stretch and open my eyes before shaking JC awake. "Hey, Bobbs."
"Why are you here and smell like the hospital?"
"Nick."
"What does this have to do with him?"
"He did this to me. Josh, turn on the light, please."
He does and her face is struck with horror, disgust, and sympathy. "Oh, God..."
"That's not the worst of it," I tell her before telling her all the injuries I've had while he's been doing it and showing the rest of the stitches and staples in the various places all over my body. I even show her the recent scar from surgery and explain that I have a small metal plate on some of my ribs to prevent a punctured lung.
"Where is he playing now?"
"Pheonix, AZ tomorrow night."
"When does he leave there?"
"The day after tomorrow."
"I'll be back in a couple days," she tells me as she cautiously hugs me, turning on her heel after. I look at JC and give him a sleepy smile.
He turns the light off and lays back down next to me. "Night, Minna." I always remembered someone calling me Minna, but not who. It was JC and I love hearing it, it's just so soothing, it reminds me of better, happier days.
