Josh has been so sweet to me, patient too. I just wish I had left Nick seven years ago when Josh had told me that he had feelings for me, he reminded me last night. I've been at his house for almost a week now and we spend most of the time in the living room, his bedroom, or in his back yard. He usually has James get what we need to eat and for the house. My cell phone rings. "Hello?"
"I'm out front, Min."
"Thanks, James. Give us a couple minutes. I want to talk to you real quick."
"What'd I do now?" he asks, his back home drawl rearing it's usually hidden head.
"Jaaaaammmmmmeeeeessss," I whine, using Josh's hand to pull my body up out of the chair it's in.
I hear him laugh a bit. "Alright, we'll talk."
I hang up and let Josh help me get to the front door. He's the only one, not counting James, I let help me. Most of my stitches have healed and I have to still take it easy for another week because of the stitches on my hip. I've stopped being as stubborn and moving slower so I don't pop any more stitches. I open the door and he smiles. "Don't you two just look cozy?"
I give him the one finger salute, complimentary smirk included. "You get everything?"
"Yes. JC, you want me to help?"
"No, go talk to her," he says, grabbing the bags from him.
"Ok, where do you want to talk?"
"In the backyard, come on," I reply, looping my arm in his.
Once we sit down, he looks at me. "You told him?"
"A week ago. I don't know where to take it now."
"Let it just run it's course. Life is like a puzzle, patience will help piece it together along with some help from a few good friends," he reminds me.
"Has he talked to you about it?"
"He's been saying the same thing as you have. I've told you both the same thing."
"Do you think I could ever learn what a good man is? A good relationship? What love is? How I'm supposed to be treated? If I could ever be used to being treated the right way?"
"Yes, JC has the patience for that. Trust me, a 13 year crush and enough time paired with patience can get you through anything," he assures me.
"James, I don't know how I'd get through life without you. You're my best friend, brother and my world would come crashing down on me if you weren't always where I need you the most at the very time I need you to be," I admit, hugging him as he's crouched in front of me.
"It's part of knowing me, even more so if we're friends and have known each other for so long."
"That's why you're practically family to me, James."
"Is that all it was?"
"Yeah. So any idea when your next project will be done?"
"No word yet, sorry. You must be bored out of your mind, huh?"
"Of course. You know me, go, go and go some more. I'm on indefinite leave until I heal when it comes down to Johnny and helping him."
"Not even paperwork?"
"No, not even that."
"You must be going insane, Leilei."
"You have no fucking clue, hun!"
He hugs me once more as Josh comes out of the house. "Is that talk over?" He's always been respectful of the relationship James and I have, always letting us talk in private.
"Yes, Jacey, it's finished."
He walks over and sits beside me on the railing. James watches as he smiles at me, my hand holding his and I visibly relax. "How has Min been healing?"
"Good, since she's let us help her. The doctor said she was healing well a couple days ago, she goes back Tuesday. They're just making sure there's no infection again and she doesn't pop any more stitches."
I lean back and close my eyes, relaxing in the warm sunshine. James must be laughing on the inside. "Makes sense and I'm glad to hear she's healing like she should now that she's not popping anymore stitches."
"Monkey bubbles inside?" I ask James, looking at him from under my half closed eyes.
"Yes, mbi."
Josh looks at us both, confused as all hell. "What the fuck?"
"It's a code that James and I have spoken in since I was nine. He and I know what it means and that's all that matters. You just get used to it."
"Cranky croc," James says, nodding toward Josh.
I giggle. "Serious shellfish."
"Bouncy bonkers?"
"Dunno."
"Bullshit."
"Club?"
"I heard."
"Uhhhhh, master Mater."
James laughs. "Better than Mack?" We use Disney characters to talk in code, always have. Everyone around us has one and the two of us know who's who.
"Love my Lightening!"
"So he's like you're Doc Hudson?"
"Yeah."
Josh's head is whipping back and forth between us, trying to figure out what James and I are talking about. I think his head might fall off or something from the way he's looking between us. "Will I ever know what any of this shit means?"
"Don't worry, it's good."
"Something about a club is all I know."
James and I laugh. "Aaron and Justin are her best friends after me and they don't even know."
"Lance, how can you tell me that for sure?"
"The last time we were at an after party with them and Min, I started talking in code with her and they were confused."
"Way more than you are, Jacey. It was hysterical!"
"What did they do?"
"They shook their heads, shrugged and walked off."
"Oh, now I don't feel like such a dunce," he remarks, sarcastically.
"Jacey, relax. I trust you enough to take care of me. I trust you enough to have what you've had. I trust you enough to stay here with you. I trust you enough not to fear you. I trust you, you're like mo chroí. I listen to that more than my head and my soul. Dhíth orm ort i mo shaol."
"I understood most of what you said, but what did you say in that other language?"
James speaks up and translates for me. "She said you're important to her."
"Really? What language is that?"
"It's Irish, but its proper name is Gaelic," I confess.
"Why do I mean so much?" he asks, looking at me expectantly.
"You've always been there when I needed someone to be."
"What am I, chopped chroí?"
"No, you've been there for the past twenty years and graím thu, but I don't bhraitheann ar an mbealach céanna faoi tú mar is féidir liom faoi Josh," I admit, my cheeks turning a deep pink.
"Tá a fhios agam sin agus tá a fhios agat cad é mo thuairim go macánta, Min."
"Tuigim, James. Caithfidh tú a thuiscint go breá liom é, agus ba mhaith liom a insint dó, ach tá mé scanraithe sin. Níl a fhios agam má tá sé an foighne as sin."
"I have no idea what you two are talking about," Josh tells us.
I sigh. "I'm sorry, mo ghrá. Sometimes we talk in pure Irish."
"Since when?"
"I've been speaking it since I was 15, her grandma taught me."
"Is that the jargon you used to speak in when you called two people?"
"Yes, one was Min and the other was her grandma."
"Is that what Justin learned from talking to and hanging out with you?" Josh asks, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.
"Yes, he speaks some Irish and he confesses alot to me in it."
My cell rings again. I groan and see it's my Bounce, I pick up. "Preab!"
"Álainn, conas a raibh tú?" he asks.
"An féidir Níos Fearr. Cneasaithe. Duit éirí as ag Jacey's? Mé chailleann tú, Preab! Geall liom a bheith deas," I barter with him.
I hear him make an 'ehhhh' sound like he's thinking. "Ach má gheallann leat a bheith deas, is dócha. Chailleann tú mé freisin! Beidh mé ag cócaireacht dinnéar leat más mian leat," he offers.
"Shrimp scampi in anlann Alfredo le piobair agus brocailí? Tá sé cad ba mhaith liom agus ní féidir é a dhéanamh. Leat é a dhéanamh conas Is maith liom é," I request.
"Sílim gur féidir liom sin a bhainistiú. Bhfuil mé díreach tar éis a stopadh ag an siopa ar an tslí chun na comhábhair. Féidir liom a bheith ann in uair an chloig, álainn," he informs me.
"Spoil tú dom, go raibh maith agat, Preab!" I respond, excitedly.
"Tá an Cé mhéad beathaithe mé, cailín?"
I look at James. "An bhfuil tú ag fanacht don dinnéar?" He nods, confirming he will. "Ceithre An féidir. Leat le do thoil muiríní a dhéanamh freisin? Agus deviled uibheacha?"
"Meascán ait, ach tá, is féidir liom a dhéanamh go léir. Dúirt tú ceathrar daoine, ceart?"
"Tá, Preab," I confirm.
"Féach leat go luath, ansin," he tells me.
"Tá tú an chuid is fearr! Féach leat go luath!" I hang up with Justin and look at Josh. "Justin's coming over and is making my favorite foods," I tell him.
"Is that what I just heard?"
"Yes."
"Something about shrimp and Alfredo."
"He makes it just how I love it."
"What does Preab mean?"
"It means Bounce."
"I'll try to remember that." He's so cute when he's confused.
~~~~~
I know Justin has Josh's pass codes memorized. "Álainn!"
"Preab!"
He hugs me from behind, having called me from the kitchen and walked out to the three of us on the back porch. "I'm glad to see you're feeling well enough to be out of that bed and off the couch."
"I am. Dinner?"
"I just got in the door, girl!"
I laugh and he realizes I was teasing, swatting my arm ruefully. "Thank you, Justin."
"You're welcome, beautiful."
He gives Josh and James hugs, greeting them. Josh looks at him. "Hey, man. What does 'dhíth orm ort i mo shaol' mean?"
"It means 'I need you in my life', why?"
"I heard Minna say it today," he casually says, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh, who was it to?"
He looks at me. "I said it to him. Ná aistriú aon rud eile dó," I demand.
His eyes widen and I nod. "Ok, sorry."
I turn to James and glare at him. "Goes for you too."
"Tuigim, Min."
"Thanks." I rub Justin's head and pout. "I miss your curls."
"I might grow it out again."
I smile. "Please?"
"We'll see," he taunts. I smack his arm and smile. "Má d'iarr sé leat a bheith lena chailín, cad a insint dó?"
I lean my head back and smirk. "I'd love to, yes."
He smiles, patting Josh's back. "I don't think another man has her heart like you do."
"What?"
"Ask her, I think she may be ready."
"Ready for what?"
"Preab, not yet. When he's ready. No pressure," I remind him.
He nods, licking his full lips, turning his attention back to his friend. "JC, we are behind you more than ever if you and Minny get together." He heads in the house to make dinner and I smile.
"What was that about?" He's confused again.
"Just something I told him a few days ago. Nothing to worry about."
"You can say that, but I'm not sure because I don't understand a word that he said before you said you'd love to," Josh points out.
~~~~~
We had ate the mouth watering deliciousness Justin made just for me. He made just enough shrimp scampi in an Alfredo sauce with broccoli and peppers, deviled eggs, and scallops for two servings for all four of us. "That tasted great, J," Josh admits.
"Minny taught me how to make it 12 years ago. It's her favorite meal, the scampi. I haven't been able to make it for me again," he recalls.
"It came out great, Preab. Thanks."
"Really good job," James agrees.
"Thanks for your compliments."
"The best part is that he washed the dishes as he went," I point out, smiling.
"There's only two pans to wash and I'll do those before I leave," Justin tells us.
"James, you pick the movie," I say, pointing to my movie bag.
He gets up and looks through them, picks one and puts it in the DVD player. It's the video of us during their first US tour and making of 'TUMH'. "This is forever ago," Justin and Josh voice together.
"I thought a trip down memory lane would be in order."
A particular scene makes me laugh.
"-dream, I'm nothing in between-" I belt out 'I'm A Bitch'. "-I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees-"
"Really now?"
My 15 year old self whips around to look at Josh. "I was just messing with Joey's camera."
"He gave you permission?"
"Yeah," I say defensively, my hands on my hips.
His hands go up in front of him as in surrender. "Whatever, just making sure."
"Soundcheck is done?"
"Yes, so when you're done goofing off, I suggest you turn it off unless you plan on taping some of the Three Stooges' schticks."
I pick up the camera and head for the hallway, making sure to turn it on me. "Off to find the Stooges," I say, my cheeks pink with embarrassment. Josh laughs. "Shut it, Chasez!"
It changes to another memory. "We were so different back then."
"Yeah," I sigh, agreeing with Josh.
"What changed?"
"We stopped hiding the fact that we like each other is my best guess," I reason.
"Can I kiss you?"
I tilt my head up from it's place on his shoulder to share a first kiss with him. I settle back down and James gently pokes me, making me glance at his humongous smile. "What is it about these old movies?"
Josh chuckles and Justin looks at us from the chair across from the couch Josh and I are sharing with James. I smile, causing him to nod and smile before turning back to the old home movie. "I have no idea, Minna."
I giggle lightly and he takes a deep breath in, resting his head on top of mine. I'm laying with my legs wrapped around his, cuddled to his side with no intention of moving. The arm he has wrapped around my body starts to shift under me as he rubs my back, comforting me. My right arm is across his abdomen and his other arm is resting on mine. I'm laying between Josh and the back of the couch. Thinking back to our one night stand, I count the weeks and realize it's been almost two months and he hasn't even asked about sex. I think it's safe to say that sex is the farthest thing from his mind right now, which is contradictory to his reputation. I think he's more concerned with my well-being. "Thanks, Jacey."
"For what, Minna?"
"Caring."
"You're welcome, love."
He sounds so peaceful and is relaxed, like this is normal for us. For the past week it has been normal for us, but before... Let's not think of before, I like where I am now. I don't know if I'm actually going to leave, but I think I might have to. I don't want to be rushed or to rush him. Beautiful things take time, patience and love. I want the relationship to continue to be a beautiful thing. I can't, won't, REFUSE to lose him again. "We're going to head out, it's getting late."
I look at Josh's watch, 11:53. It's late alright. "Yeah, yeah. See you two later. Thanks for coming by," I reply as Josh gets up to help me to stand for hugs and to see Justin and James out. His hand never leaves mine.
"Night!" Justin calls back to us as we stand in the door.
"Bye!" Josh replies, dismissing our friends. We climb the stairs to his room so I can curl my body to the side of his. He randomly remembers some lyrics I haven't heard in more than ten years, "I just want to call her up and make her laugh. Shooby doo wop and Scooby Snax, I met a fly girl and I can't relax. Wish for you on a falling star, wondering where you are, do I cross your mind in the warm sunshine?"
"What made those lyrics come to your mind?"
"You."
"Huh?"
"Never mind," he chuckles, pulling me to his side as we climb into his bed. His hand rakes though my hair to the beat of Justin's 'Like I Love You', his mouth forming the chorus, embracing sleep as it comes.
"Josh?"
"Hmm."
"I meant it."
"Meant what?"
"What I said earlier."
"Huh?"
"Dhíth orm ort i mo shaol."
"Mmm, I get it."
"I meant the kiss too."
"I meant it as well." I smile and he laces his fingers and mine together, placing them on his abdomen. His mind settles on a different song, a slower song, a familiar one. "Old enough to see behind me, young enough to feel my soul..." he begins to sing. "I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah..."
"But then I think of loving and I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah. Babe, can't you see it's killing me? I don't want to push ya, baby, and I don't want you to be told. It's just that I can't breathe without ya, I feel like I'm going to lose control..." I sing with him, just before slipping into a peaceful sleep.
Chapter End Notes:
LFO~Girl On TV
Lenny Kravitz~Can't Get You Off My Mind
Meridith Brooks~I'm A Bitch
Lenny Kravitz~Can't Get You Off My Mind
Meridith Brooks~I'm A Bitch
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
