Chapter Seventeen: It all comes back to this…
I’m a selfish prick for saying this, but as I watch Vanessa drive away from my house at almost three o’clock in the morning, clearly upset, I’m relieved.
No, not in the way most would take that statement. It’s in a different way.
I’m relieved because I know now, that the feeling’s mutual. That seeing Cameron at my house made her feel as jealous as I feel just thinking about another man just looking at her. The feeling is there, even when she talks on the her phone. I always think it’s another man on the other line and it always managed to bring the green eyed monster out in me. I like this woman. A lot.
“What was that about?“ Oh, right. Cameron’s still standing behind me and I really wish she wasn’t, although I was the one that said it was okay for her to come get her shit.
“Nothing,” I say walking past her inside the house and making a beeline to the kitchen. I need a drink. Suddenly I’m parched and it could be because of the emotions running though my body. It’s scary as hell and it’s draining me.
“Nothing?” Cameron has joined me in the kitchen, her bag of things over her shoulder. “Your public relations rep comes to your house at three in the morning and your respond is, nothing?”
“She stopped by to drop off the cd, didn’t you hear her?” I realize I’m being a dick to the person I’ve shared three years of my life with, but I don’t give a fuck right now. I didn’t see her give a fuck about letting me know she was going to Hawaii with Kelly fucking Slater, now did she? I mean, I don’t give a flying fuck who the hell she goes surfing with but I don’t need that shit thrown and rubbed in my face. So fucking what you’re going surfing with the dick? I don’t really care. What I do care about is Vanessa Martinez and the fact that she just left my house at three in the morning and better yet, why she came to my house at three in the morning.
I have a gut feeling it has to do with the visit from hell at her office this afternoon. Her dad is a real class act and I felt really bad for her at the time. But I was angry when I left because she lets him treat her that way. While he’s clearly a dickhead father, she allows those words to be directed at her. Fuck that! I don’t give a damn if it’s my mother, no one fucking talks down to me. No one. And Vanessa? As tough as she makes herself appear? It pissed me off to see her that way. I would bet my bank account on the fact that she’s been miserable as fucking ever all day because of his visit. I tried calling but she didn’t respond. I don’t know where she lives, so I couldn’t just call around to find out without being asked questions. And Trace has been busy all day, so I was kind of stuck. So seeing her on my doorstep at three o’clock in the morning was a bit shocking. But I didn’t mean to scare her off, at all. Cameron’s presence is what held me back and now, sadly, I regret it.
While Cameron and I didn’t work out I can’t really go and fuck with her feelings more than I already have. I just couldn’t tell her to get the fuck out of my house because my new girl was there. How would I have done that? Vanessa is barely admitting that she likes me let alone that she has a relationship with me. And it’s not like I had a chance to do much of anything anyway. It all happened in a span of five fucking seconds. This woman has been in and out of my life in a flash, multiple times and all I want to do is hold on tight because it’s one hell of a flash.
But instead I turn into a bitch, getting emotional about her being jealous and assuming that I was fucking with Cameron. Throwing little innuendos about things that I said earlier in the day, about getting to know her and spending time with her. It was pretty clever the way she used my statement about Cameron and my fans to get her point across. I got it. I did. But the feeling that coursed through me, the Yes! She feels the same way I do!!, didn’t let me say shit. I’m a moron.
“Yes, I heard her,” oh shit, I’m spacing out and Cameron’s still standing there looking at me strangely and I really wish she would stop. It’s annoying and not as cute, as I previously thought during our relationship. “But at three in the morning?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug and grab a bottled water, that I don’t want, from the refrigerator. “Trace leaves for Tokyo in about two hours, so I guess she wanted to drop it off.”
“At three in the morning?” she asks again and I swear to God, I’m going to be a real asshole in a minute.
“I guess,” I say walking past her to my staircase. I need to go to bed before I flip the fuck out. “Don’t you have a flight to catch, as well?”
“You’re obviously in a fucked up mood. Why did you tell me it was alright for me to get my stuff if you didn’t want to see me?” What the fuck is she talking about? Huh?
“You called, Cameron, I didn’t call you, remember?” I say halfway up the stairs, stopping to look down at her. “You said you needed your camera for your trip, didn’t you? I just got home from the studio, so why not? No hidden agendas, no strings.”
“Right,” she says sarcastically and I can tell she’s in one of her bitching moods. I’m clearly not. “You know how I told you that woman looked familiar?” After spending so much time with me, I have to give her the credit of knowing me and what makes me tick. This time for example, the ticking bomb comes in a form of Vanessa Martinez and Cameron Diaz is all over it. Am I that fucking obvious? I don’t give a damn. Fuck it!
“You told Rachel that, not me,” I say before drinking from the bottle in my hands even though I hate when water’s this cold.
“Well I think I know where I’ve seen that woman,” she says and I don’t miss the venom that she spits out at the word. She’s not stupid by any means and I’m positive she knows Vanessa wasn’t at my door just bearing excuses of dropping off a cd. I don’t want to deal with this shit right now so I turn and walk up a few stairs. I can almost smell the steam coming out of her fucking ears and I get a tiny sick pleasure from her jealousy. It goes to show her not to come to my house talking about spending a few days with Kelly fucking Slater. What the fuck was the point in that? I never thought Cameron would stoop this low as to try to make me jealous. Never saw it coming, which is why it aggravates me. You really don’t know anyone completely, do you?
“Good for you, Cam,” I say and I turn into the other set of stairs to my left. Whatever. “Lock the door on your way out, will ya?”
I hear her set the alarm because I stand halfway up the staircase waiting for the door to shut. When I’m satisfied that she’s gone, I walk up the remaining stairs and knock on Trace’s door. I know he has early flight in the morning, hell a few hours but I have to talk to him.
“Trace,” I whisper and crack his door open a bit. I don’t want to wake Joanna who’ll have my head for even coming in the room when she’s in there. “Trace,” I say again and there’s movement in the bed and I hope it’s not Joanna.
The last thing I need is another female in my face when I can’t get one specific one out of my mind. I need some guy time. And although I’m proud of Trace for making William Rast a hit, I wish he wasn’t as busy with it as he is. We barely get time together anymore.
“Jesus Christ, Justin,” suddenly we’re face to face in the gap of space in between the opened door. “Are you alright? What happened?” I can sense the worry in his voice that I’m waking him up and I feel really bad.
“Nothing happened, I’m alright,” I whisper. “You know what, never mind. Go back to bed. Sorry man,” I say trying to close the door.
“No, what’s wrong?” he says opening the door, rubbing his eyes as he closes the door quietly behind him.
“Do you have her address?” I whisper and I don’t know why I feel the need to.
“Do I have who’s address?” Trace asks still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and scratching his balls. I love this guy.
“She was just here and she left because Cameron was here and I don’t want her thinking the wrong shit and well I was thinking that I should go to her house and explain that Cameron was just getting her shit.”
“Huh?” Trace asks looking at me like I have two heads. “Cameron was here? For what? What is she going to think? What the fuck are you talking about bro?”
“Vanessa,” I say and I don’t understand why he looks so confused. I know what I said and I understand myself just fine.
“Justin, what time is it?” he asks looking at me.
“It’s a little past three o’clock, why?”
“You should know that my brain isn’t functional at this time unless I’m fucking. So speak slowly and clearly. What about Vanessa? Or was it Cameron?”
“Do you have Vanessa’s address?”
“Martinez?”
“Who the fuck else do we know named Vanessa?”
“I think so, why?” He asks and now I’m just annoyed.
“Have you listened to a word I’ve said, dickhead?”
“No fuckface, to be honest the words that followed after you saying you were okay are a fucking blur.”
“Never mind, Trace. Go to bed,” I say resigning to the fact that I’ll have to get her address in the morning or something. “Good night,” I say walking down the hall toward my master suite. Alone. This blows.
“I’ll get it for you before I leave, man,” Trace says as he opens his door and enters his room quietly.
I’m not going to be able to sleep. I know it.
-------------------------
The Next Morning
I did managed to sleep.
Only after staying up until six, playing Xbox.
The long ass shower I took before heading down to the kitchen, my dogs in tow, didn’t really help soothe my fucking head. The toast I made myself, because my assistant is MIA, tastes like shit and I call from the guard at the gate that the paps are on high alert today. My last day off is going just great.
But I’m not staying in the house and avoiding the fuckers who are parked outside my house, no way. I’m going to get in my car and I’m driving to the WEG offices. What I’m going to say? I don’t know. But I’m sure I’ll sound like a completely pussy asking Vanessa to forgive me for not asking her to stay, last night. Jesus!! I already feel like I have to explain myself to her and we haven’t even established what ‘we’ are. Is that possible? Can I already be pussy whipped? There’s no fucking way. I mean, maybe after a few months I would be, I admit that, but not this soon. Can’t be.
The dummies with cameras follow me all the way down to Hollywood Blvd, but I take a back road and I loose them for the time being. Good.
I run into Nick Carter on my way to the elevator in the parking garage and shoot the shit for a good ten minutes before I’m able to get on the elevator to Public Relations. I don’t know what he’s trying to prove, coming out with an album at the same time I’m dropping mine, but a guy can dream. I ain’t’ mad at him for trying. Good luck buddy!
The minute I step foot in the Public Relations Department, my stomach turns to shit and it’s the same feeling I get every time I know I will see her. It’s the feeling that Kayley gave me and it’s the feeling Britney used to give me. While it scares the hell out of me, I don’t let it scare me off. I’ve always gone for what I wanted, always will. And what I want more than anything, I find, is Vanessa Martinez.
The door to her office is wide open and I can see a few people leaving it from where I stand by the elevator. Melinda flagged me down on my way to Vanessa’s secretary and she’s talking to me about something, I couldn’t tell you about what, because I haven’t been paying attention. Instead I’m looking around the office nonchalantly, as if I wasn’t there specifically to see my public relations director. And by see, I mean, kiss her.
“So, what brings you to our world, Justin?” Melinda asks and she’s looking at me with a raised brow, like I’m not allowed to come to the offices whenever I want. “Isn’t it a nightmare to have to come here? At least that’s what you said the last time I saw you here.”
“I have to talk to Ms. Martinez about something,” I say and I adjust the hat that is on my head. What’s with the questions?
“I just got out of a meeting with her, is there something I can help you with instead?”
“No, it’s alright,” I say and kiss her cheek in hopes that she gets the hint that I have shit to do.
“Are you sure? Because I’ve known you for over a decade and I know the type of mood Ms. Martinez is in doesn’t really mesh well with your beautiful, sane persona,” she’s being sarcastic and while I can get into a debate with her like I used to when she was part of Nsync’s management, I don’t have the time.
“It’ll be alright, Mel,” I say walking away from her. “Tell that man of yours I’m up for a rematch, anytime.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she says waving over her shoulder. “Be nice, Justin!”
Be nice? Hell! I plan on being really nice, once I get into this office. I hate the fucking mirrors that surround her office because as I approach the secretary, I can’t tell if she’s inside, watching me. I hate being watched. Hard to believe, I know.
“Can I help you, Mr. Timberlake?” the woman asks and I grin from ear to ear at her. Always make the help swoon, that’s my motto, when I’m looking to get something out of them.
“Justin,” I flirt and it’s mostly for the benefit of my reputation. “I’m here to see Ms. Martinez.”
“Do you have an appointment, Justin?” she asks and I give her an even bigger smile. She blushes and I hope for her sake that her boss doesn’t see her blushing over a client.
“No, I don’t. but Ms. Martinez will see me,” I say digging the confidence out of my ass because I know Vanessa is pretty pissed at me.
“I’m sorry but you aren’t in her schedule and she asked not to be disturbed during her meetings. She’s really busy getting things in order before she leaves on the tour.”
“Leaving?” She’s fucking leaving? On who’s tour? I’m not touring, I just ended my tour. What?! “Why? I just ended my tour.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean with you,” she says with a laugh. How is this funny, bitch? I’m no longer smiling. “nick Carter’s promotional tour.”
WHAT?!
I don’t even say anything to her and waltz, hell, I stomp like a fucking child, toward her office door. I don’t make it inside the office because I run smack into Vanessa and her clipboard.
“JESUS CHRIST!!” she spits out venomously. She straightens her suit jacket and hugs the clipboard close to her chest, her heart. The actions send off warning alarms that she’s defensive and this shit isn’t going to be pretty. “Watch where you’re going!”
“I didn’t see you, Vanessa!” I say picking up my hat from next to her foot. I place my hat on my head once again and look at her. She’s not looking back at me, instead she’s looking through me, as if I’m not here. The same look she gave me the first time I met her.
“You should open your eyes next time, Mr. Timberlake. Perhaps not wearing that hideous hat over your eyes would work,” no she didn’t. William Rast is so not hideous. Is it? No, it’s not, what the hell am I saying? She practically hisses at me as she pushes me to the side and walks around me. Oh hell.
“Where are you going? I need to talk to you,” I say and I don’t give a damn that the secretary is looking at me like I’ve just committed suicide. Yeah, I AM talking to your boss like that. So what?
Vanessa doesn’t respond and she also doesn’t stop her sexy ass walk toward the elevator. How can this woman do this? How does she do it? How can she be the one being a bitch and have the other person want to apologize? It’s the fucking sixth wonder of the world, I swear.
She stops at some old dudes desk and turns to look at me. I’m right behind her so when she does, she rolls her eyes at my closeness. I don’t give a fuck. WE ARE talking, whether she wants to or not. I’ll pull all my dirty laundry right here, right in front of all these fucking staff members. I don’t give a damn. Wait. Yes I do.
“Mr. Myers, meet Mr. Timberlake,” she says and I just stand there looking at the guy. Who the hell is this fuck?
“Nice to meet you,” I say shaking the man’s hand but wanting to get the fuck out of the so that I can explain to her that Cameron was just picking up her stuff and that I’m sorry for not asking what was wrong. Let’s get a move on.
“I look forward to working with you, Justin,” the old man says and I swear the whole department heard my intake of breath.
“I’m confused,” Who’s working with me?
“Let me clear it up for you Mr. Timberlake. Mr. Myers is your public relations representative as of this morning. My personal services are needed elsewhere,” Vanessa says and I’m taken back to that first meeting, months ago. I don’t like it.
“Do your personal services include going on tour with Nick, Ms. Martinez,” I ask and I sound extremely jealous but it’s too late to retract. It’s done. So if it’s done, fuck it, I’ll continue. “What service will you be providing to Nick, Ms. Martinez?”
“The same I provided you for you, of course,” she says and she walks away without another word. I’m left with the stupid fuck who’s supposed to be my new PR and I know none of this is his fault but I want to sock him in the nose. The same services? Over my dead fucking body!
“You’re fucking kidding, right?” I ask through my teeth when I reach her by the elevator door. There’s a guy waiting for the elevator and he looks at me with wide eyes. “WHAT?!” Why is everyone so fucking scared of her? Jesus!
“Mr. Timberlake is just learning his manners, don’t mind him,” Vanessa says as the elevator doors open and she walks in.
“Back the fuck up,” I tell the guy who tries to get on the empty elevator with her. He backs away, voluntarily or simply because my hand is up in his face. I hit the button to close the doors and wave with a fake smile at the jerk. Who the fuck does he think he is, trying to get on this elevator when it’s clear, Ms. Martinez and I are having a fucking conversation? Fucker! He was probably trying to be alone with her too!
“Big mistake, Mr. Timberlake. That man is in charge of your record sales count,” Vanessa says when I turn to her.
“WHAT?!” I ask because I can’t believe she’s changed up the fucking game. AGAIN.
“I said…”
“I heard what you fucking said. I don’t give a shit about that,” I say and I’m standing in the middle of the still elevator with my hands on my waist. “You’re going on tour with Nick Carter? Are you shitting me? Please tell me that you’re just trying to piss me off.”
“I’m not trying to do anything but my job, Mr. Timberlake. If providing Mr. carter with the same services I provided you with pisses you off, then I suggest you take it up with your management team. Excuse me,” she says and she reaches behind me to hit one of the buttons behind me.
“You are my management!” I say moving so that she can get to whatever she’s reaching for. It will be her mistake to get the elevator moving because as soon as it starts descending, I hit the emergency stop button. I was serious when I said we were gonna talk. I don’t fuck around.
“No actually I am not. Mr. Wright and Mrs. Harless are. I did my part, Mr. Myers will continue working to get your image cleaned up a bit more. Any questions you might have, you can direct toward him. I assure you that he will not disappoint you, while I am way with Mr. Carter. Rest assured, Mr. Timberlake.” She tries to pull the button, to stop the alarm that’s going off but I push her to the side and stand in front of the panel.
“So what, you’re going to fuck Nick too?” I swear I’ve never felt more of a sting than I did at the contact of her hand against my cheek. Oh, so now she wants to get physical? Okay. I rub my cheek and look at her satisfied smirk. “Don’t push it, Vanessa.”
“Don’t you ever speak to me like that again, asshole!!” she says and she shoves my shoulder against the elevator’s wall. I have to give it to her, she’s pretty strong.
“Are we back at this again?” I say to her when I push her shoulders back, and press her back against the opposite side of the small elevator.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” she says and I have to back off a bit because she means it. What the hell?
“Vanessa,” I say moving her face to look at me with my hand. She won’t look at me and it actually breaks my heart. What the fuck? “Listen…”
“Get off me,” she says and her eyes are closed and I swear if she doesn’t look at me I’m going to have a coronary. I don’t know what else to do but put my lips on hers. And then everything comes to halt. She doesn’t kiss me back. When I open my eyes, she has her eyes open she’s once again looking through me. I’m not there. “Get off me.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask backing away from her and releasing the emergency button to continue our decent. “Why are you acting like this again? I thought we were past all this bullshit. And now you’re dropping me as a client? You’re going on tour with Nick Carter for crying out loud! What the fuck are you trying to do to me?”
“Well it’s all about you, isn’t it, Mr. Timberlake?” she’s practically foaming at the mouth and I don’t really understand this shit.
“Did you father make you cry again?” I ask ignoring her anger towards me. She looks at me with the angriest eyes I’ve seen to date and she laughs the evilest laugh I’ve ever heard.
“Don’t you go pretending you give a fuck, Mr. Timberlake,” she says as the elevator stops at a floor I’ve never been to and she walks off without another word.
“Hey, Justin!” I hear someone say from down the hall and I absentminded wave back as I follow Vanessa down a long corridor. I don’t know who it was and I don’t give a rat’s ass.
“I’m not doing this is public, fuck that!” I say and I grab her by the arm and pull her into an empty office. I don’t ever remember being in. “I do give fuck! Don’t you fucking understand that? What the fuck is so hard to understand?”
“Let go of my arm,” she says and the calm in her voice is scarier than if she were yelling, if possible.
“No,” I say and I hold on to her arm a bit tighter for good measure. I know I’m not hurting her and well even if I am, it’s out of…..yeah whatever. She’s a big girl, she can take it. “You listen to me, shut the fuck up for a minute while I explain. I know why you’re so pissed.”
“What ever gave you that idea, Mr. Timberlake. I’m perfectly fine,” she’s lying through her fucking teeth and if I was certain that I wouldn’t get my ass kicked, I would smile at her.
“Could have fooled me, Vanessa,” I say and I can smell that fucking coffee she drinks in her lips from how close I have her face to mine.
“Let go of my arm,” she says and she sounds so angry that I consider letting go of her but, again just a consideration not an action.
“She wasn’t there to…” I start to say but she yanks her arms away from my grip and moves away from me.
“You’re back to flattering yourself, Mr. Timberlake. I suggest you don’t finished whatever explanation you feel you owe me. You’ll only make a fool of yourself,” she says and she grabs the clipboard she’d dropped when I’d yanked her into the room.
“Does it look like I care, Vanessa? And please drop the Timberlake bullshit, I can’t tell you how fucking sick of it I am. I’m not playing games here,” I’m leaning against the desk that’s there with my hands supporting me to either side as I look at her. “There’s a fucking reason why you came to my house last night. And that’s because you felt you could come to me. You’re so fucking stubborn, I swear. there’s also a reason why you left so fast at the sight of Cameron and I assure you that you are wrong in your assumption. I didn’t even touch her, Vanessa.”
“I don’t care what you do, Mr. Timberlake,” she says and she goes to open the door.
“Yes, you do,” I say and she pauses at the door and looks at me before shaking her head.
“No, actually I don’t,” she says and that infamous fake smile makes an appearance in I don’t even know how long. I still want to wipe it off. “That’s Mr. Myers’ job now.”
“You’re so fucking broken,” I say to her and she looks up at me with wide eyes. So maybe I shouldn’t have said that out loud. But it’s the damn truth. Her father has her in fucking jumbles and God, all I want to do is fix it. I want to fix her. I’m losing it for this woman, quickly. This isn’t good when she’s looking at me like I just killed the said father.
“Thank you, Mr. Timberlake,” she says with the clipboard back on her chest. “It’s always good to hear.”
“Vanessa wait,” I say as she walking out of the room. She stops but doesn’t look at me. “Shit, I’m sorry alright. I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes you did, Mr. Timberlake. It’s perfectly alright to express your opinions,” she says turning to look at me, this time I notice the small sparkle in her eyes and the welling of the tears in her eyes. Please don’t cry! Shit! Don’t. “You’re correct, though. I am broken. Damaged. Cracked, maybe?”
“Vanessa, I…”
“No, it’s okay, Mr. Timberlake. Don’t you worry about it,” she says walking close to me. She doesn’t have to reach to speak in my ear and the closeness makes me want to reach for her but I don’t. “I may be broken, but you’ll never get to fix me, Justin,” She backs away from me and I see a lone tear run down her cheek before she wipes it and walks out of the room.
GOD DAMN IT!!
It all comes back to this…
LoveStoned by Lynn
Story Tags: interracial wallsex celebrityj enemiesturnedlovers
