It been a week and tomorrow leaves me with three weeks to decide. Do I want to be around the Boys at Nick's expense? Do I want to be there for Aaron? Do I want to deal with my asshole ex? Nick called and asked, cautiously playing the 'I miss you' card. He also threw in the 'my brother and sisters miss you' card as well. I want to support his brother and band mates (morally), but not have to deal with him. I can't fucking wait for Aaron to have a headlining tour of his own. Fuck! I just might be on Aaron's bus the whole time, although that may be in vain. I might have to ride on Kevin, Howie and Brian's bus to avoid him. I think I talked to his new girl a few nights ago, I'm not too sure yet and I know she just so happens to know Justin personally. 

Speaking of which, I highly doubt that Justin and I will last very much longer. I can't keep the history I share with James from him while I'm dating him, it's killing me and I hate not being the one to tell him. It might only be for another month or two, I think. I hope he understands that between everything, I'm beyond stressed and a relationship is just wearing me even thinner. I do love him, but I've begun to contemplate that it's not in this way, not like a boyfriend or anything of that nature. "James, you missed the transition between steps. Watch Justin."
"Which part?"
"From the end of the chorus to the third line JC has for 'I Want You Back'." I give him a gentle smile and he shows James.
"You work these boys to death for me," their new choreographer, Wade, tells me.
"You're welcome, I think," I reply, a confused look on my face.
"I heard you'd be up there showing Lance if you hadn't gotten injured." One of his hands goes on his hip and the other motions to the stage.
I look at my injured ankle resting on Justin's sweatshirt on the top of the back of a seat. "Yeah, I would and I'm actually really bummed I'm not up there."
"They told me you absolutely love to dance."
"I'm addicted to dancing, Wade. I'd do it day in and day out if I could. I'd eat while I dance if I had the choice."

"Don't let her lie to you, man! She eats, drinks, breathes, sleeps and showers dancing!" James yells from the stage.
"She can kick my ass at it!" JC admits. "I've been dancing professionally since 91!"
"She can do the tip toe thing MJ does!" Justin brags.
"Show her a routine a few times and she can do it," Chris happily confirms.
"Hell, she learns our routines in less than two weeks! She was also rushing through middle and high school because JC bet her she couldn't graduate with Lance the following year and now she's taking enough college courses to achieve three college degrees by the time she's 23! She's insane and over motivated!" Joey says, glowering at me.

"It's not my fucking fault I got so bored I took on seven courses and I handed everything in two months ago!"
"You finished a seven course semester in a couple weeks?"
"Three weeks and yes, I did," I announce proudly. It's a huge achievement for me, seeing as my mom started and never finished college.
"The new semester starts when?" Wade grills me.
"January twelfth."
"What are you going for?"
"Degrees in music and dance/theater, but I have to achieve the certificates first."
"Who's paying for it?"
"My college funds I've saved since I was ten."
"How did you save every year and how much?"
"About nine grand between allowance, baby sitting money, holiday and birthday money. I also won competitions in which I saved the money from too. I stopped dancing competitively when I was 14. I competed for nine long years and won more than I lost."
"Why don't you do it anymore?"
"It's too competitive now, everyone practices their routines for nine months and if someone other than them wins, they threaten the winner."
"So you just do it for fun now?"
"Plus it helps me stay in shape," I add, smiling like King Koopa every time he has Princess Toadstool in his nasty claws.
"Makes sense, cardio." I turn my focus back to the guys and look for missed moves and transitions. "Anyone else miss a move that you've seen?"
"Nothing that will be readily noticeable, all of them are so minute and easily fixable. No need to stress it."

"Are you two done killing us for prep?" James asks, gasping for breath and his hands on his hips.
"I suppose," Wade jokes.
I giggle as Justin hops down and piggy backs me to the game room, choosing a couch in the far corner to talk alone (sort of). He had carried my crutches as well and JC had an inquisitive look on his face as we raced by him, I gave him a gentle and sweet smile in passing. Justin sits down and I lay with my injured ankle on the back of the couch, my head in his lap. "26 cents for your thoughts?" I prod, thinking of a song that describes how I feel at this point in time that came out sometime in August.
He smiles. "I know I have always felt something for you, but I guess I'm coming to terms with it not being how I had thought."
"I know that feeling too," I sympathize.
"Maybe it's just too soon to figure it out?" he thinks aloud. "I wish we could ask for advice without giving away the fact that we're seeing each other."
I reach up and stroke the side of his face gently. "Croí milis, I know. If I think of a way, I'll let you know."
"I'll let you know if I think of a way."
"Deal, hon," he says, leaning down to brush his lips across mine to seal our agreement.
~~~~~

I get woken up by Justin carrying me to the bus and continues until he reaches his bunk, gingerly placing me in it. "Timbs?"
"Go back to sleep," he whispers back.
He climbs into his bunk and I scooch  over to curl around his side, his arm winding around me instinctively. "Mmmmm," I purr for him to hear.
"What are we doing?"
"Huh?"
"What are we doing together?"
"Seeing where we stand together and figuring out if we belong together," I reply, only enough volume that he can hear.
"You think we could last?" he asks, caressing the side of my face.
"Do you want the truth?"