Down to the wire now, only a week to go before I have to decide. I told Kev that I'd tell him in the next three days and I still haven't figured out if I want to chance everything, just shoot me now. I need a good prank right now and Chris is the person to go to. Oh, my ankle? That's healing well, another day or two and I can be back up on that stage, helping James laugh his country ass off while he rehearses with the guys. "You want to help him with 'Tearin' Up My Heart'?" Wade pulls me out of my reverie.
At this point, I've been walking around without the bandage off for almost a week. "Sure," I chirp, jumping from my seat in the first row and run to the stage, springing up high enough to climb up without trying. "Holy shit!"
"She's fully healed," Justin and James chorus together.
"We are skee-rewed," Chris mutters.
I walk over to Psycho and hug him first. "Gonna need a prank, CK," I whisper. He nods once, just enough for me to feel.
I hug the other four, Justin and I have been growing apart in our relationship and it's ok because they've been on tour for almost three months, I'm hoping that's why along with the shit going on in my life. I've been prepping for my next semester, excited about it, contemplating whether I should tour with shitforbrains Carter, Aaron and the other four Boys while dealing with the recent news that my gramma is sick, the last thing I've kept to myself because it's what she wants. She told me not to tell anyone, but Justin and James can easily read me like a damned book without me saying anything's up. James being the last to be embraced, says something about my behavior. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a ton on my plate," I cryptically inform him. It's not a full fledged lie and this girl touring with us, Whitney or something (I suck at remembering names), doesn't help and I am fully aware she, Justin and JC know each other somehow. Her hair is bleach blonde, her laugh is fake and well, I haven't had much time to get to know her. 
"Jazz, come on." Oh, monkey bubbles, he's fucking pleading.
"No problems, let's do this," I say, finality evident enough that it sounds like a low growl.
"Fine," he calmly snaps back. I look at JC for his permission to do back handsprings across their logo on the edge of the stage, who nods his approval.
"Step back, guys. She's going to do back handsprings. Watch this, Wade!" JC tells everyone, requesting Wade's undivided attention to be on me.
I do a round off, the back handspring JC taught me, two proper back handsprings, another one of JC's and a back flip, ensuring I land on the star at the beginning of their name because I had started at the opposite side of the bubble containing their name near the 'C'. "She should be performing or competing again. When did you teach her the handsprings?"
"Almost two years ago and she added her own flair as well. I taught her on the trampoline, she practices often," JC brags, beaming with pride over my small achievement.
"Way to be modest, Daddy C," I retort, annoyed by his hyperbolized comment and sarcasm dripping from the word 'modest'.
"I have to brag about something," he says.
"Hyperbolize about something else, Chasez!" I jokingly say, shoving him. He smiles, shaking his head as he steps into position. "Now, time to break it all down, guys!" I call out and get groans, moans and whines from them in response, prompting a smile to grace my face.
"You're evil!" Joey exclaims.
Wade demands they improve 'I Want You Back', 'Tearin' Up My Heart', 'Giddy Up', 'For The Girl' and 'Here We Go'. "Much better, Lance! Joey and Chris, quit goofing off! Jazz, are you willing to go though the entire set, the ones with steps?" Wade demands.
"Pfffffttttt! Hells yeah! Beginning formation, guys, I want to dance my non existent ass off!"
"You have a great ass!" Justin says loudly.

I roll my eyes and get in formation beside James. "Thanks, Timbs," I respond dryly. We do the run through and every time Justin passes me, face to face, I make an expression I know he'd laugh at. I smile at JC each time we come to a position that we look at each other. Joey and Chris make faces at me, resulting in light laughter. At the end of it, Wade is speechless. "Speak my short friend!" I taunt. 
"How can you make it so much fun and still get to the point and make sure they nail everything?"
"They know I would make them repeat the same parts over and over until they can do them in their sleep," I inform him, breathing a little heavy as I bend at my waist and put my right hand out with the palm facing the ceiling. 
"Go to the game room," he tells them more than me, relinquishing them from their duty. He comes onto the stage and I hug him, drenched in sweat. "You, shower," he commands me.
"Stick in the mud," I accuse, poking my tongue through my lips as I turn on my heel to head for the bus to shower. He chortles, the borderline guffaw kind of laugh. 
As I run down the hall, Justin catches me in his arms and places a sweet and soft kiss on my lips. He seems needy, but now's not the best time to communicate that. "I've been wondering if that offer still stands."
"Offer?" I repeat, curious and completely not playing coy.
He grinds against me and smiles. "Offer."
"Oh, um, can we talk about it later?"
He pouts, making me feel guilty. "Sure." He turns and walks to the game room.
I pull my cell from my pocket and call someone I've been confiding in alot lately. "Hey, girl."
"I think I'm going to do it. Tell Papa to call me."
"Why?"
"I need him to help me make sense of it all."
"I will, Sam."
"Thanks, man."
~~~~~

I texted Kevin all night until he fell asleep, talked to Justin and confided in James today after the shower I took to rid my body of the stank from busting my ass during rehearsal. "Girl, I wish I knew what was going on in his demented little mind. If I did know, you'd be the first to know."
"He's your brother."
"I know, but when it comes to you, he's been silent lately."
"He's just so confusing."
She giggles, which pretty much tells me she agrees. "On a better note, how are you and the mystery man handling everything?"
"We've been good, just sort of distant."
"That can't be good."
"I've been prepping for next semester and he's touring."
"What is it with you dating guys in the industry?"
"They're all around me and only four interest me right now." I'm laying in Chris' bunk below Justin with my feet pressed against the bottom of Justin's, pinning me to the mat and talking on the phone.
"Girl, you went to the VMAs and the Movie Awards! You met a bunch of people."
"I went to the damn Grammys, fought sleep the whole time and had to resort to texting you."
"Nick was a bit upset that you did that."
"Fuck him."
"You act like you don't care about him or like him."

Initiate momentary defense via bitch mode. "Hmm, maybe because I don't. I want to punch him in the face and a swift foot lift to his balls. How much do you think I want to deal with him?"
"Then why even consider going on the tour with him?"
"Moral support for your baby brother and the other four guys," I reply snarkily.
"Stop lying, I know you still love him."
For being his little sister, she knows too much. "Shut up, chick. You have no clue how much I want to beat him senseless."
"Yeah right, you want him to be with you."
"Nope, I'm happy with the guy I'm seeing." I hate trying to lie to myself more than I do the people I have around me.
She's gotten to know me fairly well since we met almost two years ago. "Once you have feelings for someone, those feelings will always be there. You may not like them anymore, but you’ll still care," she reminds me.

I sigh and close my eyes, realizing she's not only right but that she reads me better than I let JC. "I know, Beanna," I reply, saying his middle sister's nickname I gave her. It pronounced 'Bean-nah'.
"Are you admitting it? You sound so defeated."
"Possibly. Can we talk about something else?"
"How was your first semester?"
"Done in three weeks."
"Overachiever," she blurts out, snorting at the information.
"Thank you!" I chirp loudly.
We giggle for a minute and she makes a snorting sound (from laughing too hard), causing me to guffaw. "It's not that funny, Sam!"
"Sure it is, you snorted!"
"Whatever, bitch."
"Sorry, couldn't help it. Natural reaction."
"Yeah, uh-huh, right. Aaron is excited about the possibility of you touring with him and the Boys."

"Les, I'm sure he is. I would be overjoyed to hear he might be on tour with me if I was the opening act, too. This is big debut and if I have my way, I'd be dancing up there with him," I tell her.
"Seeing as you mentioned it, there is one spot that needs filling and it's the main spot," she informs me, most likely with the biggest grin on her lips as she feigns innocence.
"Since when?" I ask, my curiosity having been piqued.
"As of the 26th."
I pull my lips to one side of my face and let out a deep breath. "Have him buzz me."
"Hold on, I'll set up three way."
I wait and smile when I hear a familiar voice greet Leslie and I. "Hey, kid," I address Aaron.
"How have you been?"
"Crazy busy," I admit. "I heard you have one spot open for a dancer."
"Les, you had to tell her?"
"Of course," she tells her brother.
"Yes, you'd have to talk to Johnny about the details and you have to remain on the tour until it's done or I go on my own."
"It's that all you know?"
"It's what I heard Johnny tell my mom."
"I can call your guys' mom later and find out if I can fill the void for you." I smile, hoping he's smiling because he needs a friend during this experience.
"I'm sure she would love if you joined my road crew."
"Well, I'm going to let you go to call your mom and Johnny to see what I have to do."
"We love and miss you!" they say at the same moment.
"Love and miss you guys too. Talk to you later."
"Bye," Aaron echoes Leslie and we hang up.

I quickly call Jane and discuss the details, finding out the stipulations attached to the position. Hey, a girl's gotta make her money to be able to pay her way and Johnny will be signing my checks if he's going to let me do it. I hang up and call Johnny after taking a deep breath as I check the notes I took while discussing my position in Aaron's set. "Hello, Jazzy. What can I help you with?"
"I'm calling about the final girl needed for Aaron's set on the Boys' upcoming tour from the dates starting at the end of the month."
"You know someone who's willing to take it and Jane won't disapprove of?"
"Yes, me."
"You've talked it out with her already?"
"Yes, she said she'd rather have me assist him with this experience than anyone else beside his sisters."
"I will call Jane and discuss the finer details with her before I call you back. Give me three days."
"Ok, sounds good," I agree.

"Kevin informed me about Nick's proposition he brought up to you."
"I have informed Jane about my stipulations concerning his blonde hair, blue eyed ex of mine," I say, a scowl evident in my voice and on my face.
"You'll be going through Jane for this position?"
"Yes, she has all my stipulations and I will give you my finer details when we lock in my professional involvement with Aaron."
I end up talking to him for another hour about the stipulations and specifications concerning my agreement before hanging up and hunting for James and JC.