I made it through the two shows I had to and flew back to the guys to spend some much needed time to cool off, to be away from the oldest of five in that family. I came back almost two weeks ago and it's my sweet sixteenth, they've made today awesomely amazing. I haven't heard his name all day, anything to do with him, and even though they have to perform tonight, it's been a great day. I have been talking to Justin about seeing other people because that attraction just isn't there like it was before. "You know the girl touring with us, Britney?"
Oh, that's her name. Told ya I suck at remembering names! "Sure," I answer.
"I like her alot and want to give it an honest shot," he blurts out, most likely thinking I'd be upset about it.
"I've been considering it might not last too much longer."
"You don't feel the same as you did before?"
"I feel like I'm kissing one of my best friends and it's a little strange," I confess.
"Why don't we wait a couple more weeks before we decide?"
"Ok, Timbs, we can wait a couple more weeks."
We lay there, cuddling on one of the couches in the game room backstage and just listen to each other's breathing. "No matter what you're always going to have a place in my heart and I'll give everything I can to help you out when you ask."
"No matter what you'll always be one of my best friends and I'll be happy for you as long as you're happy."
He nods, kissing my forehead and pulling me close. "You mean so much to me and it's not like that."
"You ever need me, you'll always have my number and know where I am when."
We spend the next hour in the game room, cuddling and kissing on the couch in the far corner not another word being spoken between us. "C'mon, guys, we have to change for our set," JC calls, prompting Justin and I to sit up. The five of them disappear to wardrobe to change and I call my cousin.
I know he's home, he has today off. Seven rings and then,"Hello?"
I smile sadly. "Hey, 'Renny!" I chirp, trying my best to cover up my lugubriousness as I flop back down on the couch.
"What's up, Sam?"
I sigh, muttering, "Nothing much." We talk about back home, family members and friends for a good while.
"It's fizzling, huh?"
"Yeah, might only be together a couple more weeks."
"At least this one is ending better and you'll remain friends because there's no bad blood."
"I know and I'll still have my best friend. He said it's because he doesn't feel the same as he did in July, neither do I and he wants to date Britney. He likes her and wants to be exclusive."
"Hey, look at it this way-at least he's being upfront and honest about it all."
"Very good point." I roll off the couch and stand up, pacing back and forth in front of it. "He's restored my belief in good guys."
"Not all guys are Nick Carter," he reminds me.
I hear the guys wrapping up their show and hang up, bidding my cousin adieu. "All set, we have to run to the bus," JC tells me, crouching down to give a piggy back ride. I climb up without saying a word, feigning exhaustion easily. We get on the bus and I begin writing everything down, making sure it's in Irish. "What's that?"
"A list."
He grabs it and I don't stop him. "I don't understand what you wrote."
"It's in Irish."
"What happened in Florida?"
"Rehearsals with Aaron and his crew, attempted to steer clear of Nick, and he didn't stay away from me, he ended up getting decked."
"Anger problems?"
"No, he just so fucking okay with it!"
"Explain it."

I dive into the day I decked my ex, emphasizing how Fonzie/cool Zuko he had been when he said hi. "That's why I'm so fucking mad about it. He had a bloody nose and I caused it."
He looks around and he notices we are the only ones (other than the driver) awake. "To tell you the truth, I'm glad you stuck up for yourself-"
"I know there's a 'but' coming," I interrupt.
"But you could've gone about it differently than you did."
"I know I could've, but I like what I did," I admit.
"Are you going to tell anyone other than Lance what happened to make you run to us?"
"He only knows part of it."
"So what's the rest?"
"Caught him with his ex," I inform him, motioning for him to catch on as I rotate my wrist in circles.
"Like how?"
"Like you and bitchface!"
"Kissing?"
"No, like home run or is it third base?"
"Her mouth?"
"And his fingers."
His eyes go wide at the information I've only told him and Justin. Nick knows damn well what he did wrong. "Um, wow, yeah that's a good reason for how you reacted and I understand completely. What I don't understand is why you'd want to tour with him if you resent him so much."
"Dislike, resent and hate don't cover it; loathe comes close, though. I'm doing it for his brother, he needed one more dancer for his set," I say, playing with my ever expanding set of keys. I have a key for quite a few houses-mine, Chris', JC's mom's, AJ's, Nick's parents', Kevin's, Brian's, Howie's and of course to the car I had picked. 
I just need to get my permit and learn to drive before I get the pink slip. Howie and Brian are going to teach me how while on the road and I'm going to get my permit in April. By the time I get my permit, I'll be almost done with my second semester at Florida U and graduate in two years if I don't do summer sessions. If do take summer courses, I'll be done in a year. "Are do you doing it for moral support or the money?"
"Moral support, the paycheck is a humungo bonus. It's more about being there for Aaron and the other four Boys."

JC's eye twitches at the corner. "Stop jingling the keys." He shifts his position and continues. "You always were selfless. I figured it out early on and I commend you for not ever having a harsh word toward anyone who doesn't deserve it. For turning sixteen, you've shown how mature you are and sometimes it scares me how well you handle everything, but then you turn around and come running to us when you get scared out of your wits. You've always turned to us and that's ok, it's the best thing you can do. We did tell you two years ago to turn to us whenever you wanted or needed to."
"Which isn't too often."
"It should be more often, you're a teenager."
My nervous habit causes me to fidget with my keys again, JC twitches in annoyance and reaches across the small table to take them from me. "I know and it's just that I get scared that the five of you are going to get mad about me calling on you so much and I don't want to botch it," I explain, sighing and fighting back tears that are welling up in my eyes.
"I would never feel like that," he says as he places his hand on mine, gently smiling.
"This is why we've become like brother and sister, huh?" I ask, tears now falling as I chuckle.

He laughs and hangs his head, his cell rings. He checks who it is and picks up. "Hey, Bobbi." I make gagging noises and stick my finger in my mouth. "No, I don't know abou-. See you in Rhode Island. Love you too," he says, hanging up.
"She's meeting us in fucking Rhode Island?!"
"She's flying out now."
"Ugh! I hate the bitch!"
"Go get some sleep," he says standing up before he helps me get up.
"So you could deal with her clingy, whorish, and bitchy ways?"
He narrows his eyes at me. "She's not that bad."
"No, she's just screwing you to leech off you and the money you make. Two words for ya-ditch her." I turn on my heel and climb into Justin's bunk, cuddling to him. I try to relax, but my only problem is that my brain won't shut off! I begin texting AJ and bitch about the youngest Backstreet Boy, giggling quietly. 
"What's so funny?" he asks, having been woken up by my giggles. He keeps his eyes shut, talking to me.
"Not too much, AJ and I are bitching about my ex."
He chuckles for a second and pulls me closer with his arm. "Well, just keep it down, hun."