Chapter 24

( The next day )

Justin stood in the kitchen making himself a sandwich for lunch, as he continued to watch Kerrigan from the corner of his eye.  She sat at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal.  It wasn’t so much that she was eating cereal in the middle of the day that concerned him.  They both had a habit of doing that all the time.  It was the way she was eating.  It was like she was a machine or something.

All of her movements seemed to be mechanical.  It was like she was on auto pilot.  She showed no emotion and she’d hardly spoken since she had come down from her room only a mere hour before.

The night before when Justin had gotten back to the house, Kerrigan was locked in her room.  She refused to answer the door, stating that she was tired and just wanted to be alone.  He had tried for a good two hours to get her to come out or let him in, but she never did.

So then he had resorted to just sitting in the hallway.  Surely she’d come out of her room at some point.  He ended up spending the majority of the night sitting outside of her door, but she never did come out.

Finally after dozing off several times and constant urging from Trace, Justin gave up and went to his own room for the remainder of the night.  Although, he hadn’t slept very well.  And then he had gotten back up early, just in case she would be up.  But still nothing.

It was obvious that she was taking the whole thing a lot worse than Justin could have predicted and it tore him up inside.  Sure he was happy with the outcome and it had been what he had wanted.  Until of course he seen the shape Kerrigan was in.  He never wanted her to be that upset or unhappy.  It killed him to see her in so much pain.

Putting the final touches on his sandwich, Justin quickly put everything back in it’s place and then headed over to the table.  He sat the sandwich down and then walked back over to the refrigerator to grab a can of beer before returning to the table.

Popping the beer can open and taking a gulp, he sat their quietly hoping that she would initiate some kind of conversation with him.  But of course she didn’t.  She merely continued to eat the remainder of her cereal as Justin bit into his sandwich.

After chewing the contents in his mouth thoroughly Justin couldn’t take the silence anymore and spoke up.  “So how are you feeling this morning?”

Kerrigan looked up from her food and met Justin’s intense gaze.  “I’m fine.” she said, returning her eyes back to her cereal.

Justin could tell by looking at her that she wasn’t fine.  Her eyes were dead in a sense.  He wasn’t exactly sure how to describe it.  Kerrigan’s eyes were normally so full of life and spunk that they sparkled, but today they were filled with so many different emotions.  Sadness, hurt, and a few other things he couldn’t exactly place.  He’d never seen that kind of look or those kind of emotions in Kerrigan’s eyes before.  And that only troubled him more.

He had been worrying for the longest time that Cody was going to hurt her.  He had known somewhere in his gut that eventually it would happen and that she would be devastated.  But even in all the countless times he had thought about this particular scenario, he had never envisioned such a devastation in her.

Justin cleared his throat.  “Just so you know, I know what happened last night.”

Kerrigan’s eyes shot up frantically.  “What do you mean you know what happened last night?” she asked desperately.  “Chris, SWORE he wouldn’t say anything!”

Justin gave her a peculiar look.  “Why would Chris swear not to tell me about you and Cody’s argument?”

“What did he tell you?” she questioned.

Justin continued to look at her oddly.  “Just that you two got into a big fight about the dare from the other night and broke up.  Why?  Is there more?”

Kerrigan looked back down at the table.  Broke up?  That was something she hadn’t even thought about.  After everything else that had been running through her head.  Her and Cody breaking up had never even occurred to her.  She supposed it should have.  Especially, after he had hit her, but it hadn’t.  And hearing Justin say the words created another string of questions to run rampant in her mind.

“Kerrigan?” Justin pushed when she didn’t answer him.  “Is there something else I should know about?”

Her eyes shot back up to Justin, to study him and see if there were any signs of him knowing the truth.  That maybe by some chance Chris had told him and asked him not to mention it.  But there was nothing in his eyes but concern and Kerrigan knew that if Justin had any suspicions at all about what had truly happened there would be anger in his eyes, not concern.

“No.” she finally muttered.  “That’s the jist of it.”

Justin looked down at the table for a moment before looking back up at her face.  “You know you can talk to me right?  I mean if you feel like you need to talk that is.”

He really wasn’t sure what to say.  He’d been through several of his own breakups, but Kerrigan had only been in two relationships in her life.  At least that he was aware of.  And neither of those relationships had ever been remotely serious enough to induce this kind of reaction from her.

Hell, she had claimed to be in love with Cody.  So he could only imagine what she was going through.  What thoughts and feelings were racing through her.  He’d give anything to take the pain away, but he also knew that this was something she had to go through.  It was a part of life.  A learning experience.

“I’m fine, Justin.” she stated, getting up from the table to take her empty bowl to the sink.

“I was just saying.”

“I appreciate it J, but really I’m fine.  Just got a lot on my mind.” she said as she rinsed her bowl and placed it in the dishwasher.

Turning around Kerrigan met Justin’s relentless stare.  He was watching her closely.  Too closely.  It was almost like he suspected that there was more to the story than what he had been told.

Sighing Kerrigan began to make her way out of the room.  She couldn’t stand Justin looking at her like that.  She knew if she were to allow it to continue that she would eventually break down and tell him everything.  And that was the last thing she needed to do.

If he found out about what had happened with Cody he would go completely insane.  Justin was one of the sweetest guys you could ever hope to meet.  He had a big heart and was as gentle as a lamb.  Until you hurt someone he cares about, then it was a completely different story.  And Kerrigan knew that if he found out that Cody had physically harmed her that he would lose all control and there was no telling what he would do.  And that was something that she could not allow to happen.

She would not allow Justin to get into any trouble over her.  He was a celebrity and in the public eye and anything like that would surely damage his career and create more problems for him than the average person.  She was not going to be the person responsible for messing up her Best Friends career.

Over the next couple of days Justin had managed to get Kerrigan out of the house with him and Trace.  They had went to Universal Studios for a day of fun.  And had even gone out to a club one night, but things still weren’t the same with Kerrigan.

She put on one hell of an act.  Gave them her best smile.  Laughed at their corny jokes and antics.  But Justin could still see the lost look in her eyes.  The sparkle had yet to return.  He knew she was putting on a show for his and Trace’s benefit.

When she didn’t think anyone was looking he could see her sulking, lost in thought.  Depressed.  He could see that she was in pain and that caused Justin to be in pain.

He had wanted her and Cody to break up.  Hell, he hadn’t wanted them together from the get go.  And he still didn’t want them together.  But the simple fact of the matter was that he could not stand to see Kerrigan the way she was.  Walking around as a shell of a person.  He just couldn’t take it anymore.

And that’s where he found himself.  Doing something he never thought in a million years that he would be doing.  Calling Cody.

Sometime over the last couple of days Justin had made a silent agreement within himself that if Kerrigan’s mood didn’t change and she didn’t perk up, that he would call him.  That he would call Cody and try his best to explain things to him.  Call him and ask him to come talk to Kerrigan.  To work things out.

It took everything inside of him to make the phone call.  He still didn’t trust Cody as far as he could throw him.  And he still didn’t like the guy.  But at the same time he loved Kerrigan.  Loved her so much that he would put his own feelings and concerns aside so that she could be happy.  If Cody was what made her happy, then Cody it would be.

The line rang several times before an answering machine finally picked up and Justin heard Cody’s voice giving the normal I’m not home, leave a message that was always recited on answering machines.

When he heard the beep he took a deep breath and willed himself to say the words he so dreaded to say.  “Hey Cody, it’s Justin.  Um…Justin Timberlake, Kerrigan’s friend.  Look I’m calling because we need to talk.  She’s been real upset the last few days about everything that happened between the two of you and I really think it would be a good idea if you came over and the two of you talked about….”

Justin was cut off when Cody suddenly picked up the phone.  “Hello?”

“Cody?” Justin asked wearily.

“Yeah, it’s me.  I’m screening my calls.”

“Oh, ok.” Justin paused for a moment.  “Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah, I heard you.  You want me to come talk to Kerrigan?” Cody stated, while wondering to himself if Justin knew what had happened.  Surely, he couldn’t know the details of everything that had happened. Cody knew there was no way Justin would be calling him asking him to come work things out with her if he did.

“Yeah.  She’s been real upset and depressed and I’m worried about her.  I know you’re pissed off about what you overheard, but I guarantee you it’s not what you think it was.  It was a dare by Chris.  And we had all been drinking.  It wasn’t anything more than that.”

“You sure about that man?  Because the way you were gloating and talking to the guys about it, it sure sounded like more than a dare to me.” came Cody’s bitter reply.

Justin sighed, Cody was testing his patience.  What he felt and thought about things was none of his business.  The only thing he should be concerned with is that Kerrigan hadn’t done anything wrong.  “Look I know what you overheard.  I was there, I had the conversation.  But I can promise you that you took it out of context.  Kerrigan is my friend.  My best friend and while we both know that I don’t like you in the least, and I’m sure the feelings are mutual, she’s not happy.  And I don’t like seeing Kerrigan unhappy.  So I’m willing to put aside my feelings for her sake.  All I want is for Kerrigan to be happy and if you make her happy than so be it.  I don’t agree with it and I don’t like it, but that’s just the way it is.”

“Sure it is.” Cody retorted.

“Look man, my patience is wearing thin.  Are you gonna come talk to her or not?  Because if you don’t want to work things out with her, that’s more than fine with me!  I’ll handle it.  But I just thought I’d try this first.”

“You’re not going to interfere anymore?” Cody asked.

“I didn’t interfere the first time!” Justin retorted.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Cody argued.

“Dude, I’m not arguing with you about this.  If you wanna talk to her, you know where we live.  If not, then whatever.  But don’t say I didn’t give you the chance.” Justin spat angrily.  He was now kicking himself in the ass for even making the call.

“You never did give me a chance.  You didn’t like me from the beginning and we both know why!”

“I’m hanging up.  I didn’t call to argue with you.  Kerrigan’s my friend and I love her and I wanna do what’s best for her.  She obviously cares a lot about you because I’ve never seen her so upset about something before.  But this is your choice man and I’m not going to argue with you about shit that doesn’t matter.  So you make your choice.  Later!” and Justin hung up.

Cody sat there for a minute, allowing the conversation to sink in.  Justin loved Kerrigan more than Cody had initially realized.  Especially, if he was willing to set his feelings for her aside and allow Cody back into the picture.

He knew Justin didn’t like him.  That had been evident from the first time they had met.  And the fact that he was now just willing to step aside and allow Cody and Kerrigan’s relationship to exist somewhat baffled him.  But at the same time it pleased him.

And then there were the things Justin had said about Kerrigan.  Perhaps he had misjudged her feelings.  He was still sure that she had feelings for Justin other than just friendship, but if she was seriously as upset and depressed as Justin said.  Enough so that Justin himself would intervene and do something that Cody was sure took a lot of willpower on his part.  Then maybe she did love him as she claimed she did.  Maybe he had been wrong in his assumptions.

That thought brought a smile to his face.  He did love Kerrigan.  She was the first girl that he had ever cared for the way he cared for her.  It just became too complicated for him to constantly be competing with Justin’s affections.  But if she truly cared about him the way Justin said then that shouldn’t be a problem.  Especially, after he worked things out with her.

Justin taking the step to push them back together only gave him more ammunition to throw at her.  Showing her that Justin didn’t reciprocate the feelings she had for him.  And Cody was positive that with enough reminders and ample time he could rid himself of Justin completely.

He knew that love was a very powerful thing and that if Kerrigan loved him as it appeared she did and he used that for all it was worth.  Then he would be able to make the impossible possible.  He would be able to push Justin Timberlake as far out of her life as he needed to.

And what he needed was to get rid of him completely.