( 1 week later - Arizona )

“WOOOOOO” Joey yelled as he and the rest of the guys quickly climbed into the Suburban that would take them back to their hotel for the night.  “I’m so pumped.  We gotta go out tonight!”

“Sounds good to me.” JC agreed.

“Me too.” Lance added.

“I’m game.  What about you Justin?” Chris said, turning his attention to Justin.

“Hell yeah.  I’m up for a lil’ party myself.  Trace?” Justin said looking to his friend.

“Count me in!” Trace smiled.

“What about you, Kerr?” Justin said turning to look for Kerrigan, but didn’t see her.  “WAIT!  We can‘t leave without Kerrigan.” he yelled to the driver, and then turned his attention to Trace.  “Where is she?”

“She went back to the hotel about an hour ago.  Right after you guys went on.” Trace informed.

“Is she ok?  Why’d she go back to the hotel?  She always stays for the shows.”  Justin questioned, concerned.

“Dunno.  Said she was tired.”

“You know….” JC started.  “She’s been acting a lil’ funny all week.  Is everything ok with her?”

“What do you mean she’s been acting funny?” Justin questioned.

“You haven’t noticed?” Lance jumped in.  “She’s just been….” he paused.  “not herself.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too.” Joey commented.

“She hasn’t mentioned anything.” Justin said, thinking back to the weeks events.  Trying to remember any peculiar behavior.

“I wouldn’t worry about it.  She was probably just tired like she said.  You know how she is.” Trace stated.

“Yeah, I guess.” Justin shrugged.  “I’ll talk to her when we get back.  She’s gotta go out with us.”
 

Back at the hotel, Kerrigan was laying in her bed watching TV.  It had been a long week, they had been rushing from one city to the next since they had left for the tour.  This was their first night in an actual hotel and off of the bus, so she was taking full advantage of getting to sleep in a real bed.

To add to the stress of being confined to a bus with six retarded males, and their busy schedule, Kerrigan couldn’t seem to clear her head.  She had been thinking more and more about the conversation she had overheard the morning they were leaving.  And the more she thought about it the more it hurt her feelings.

She was sick of being just one of the guys.  Of just blending in to the background and being totally ignored, unless one of the guys wanted a favor or something.  She was sick of being Justin’s friend Kerr, the tomboy.  She was soon to be 21 years old.  She was a woman, yet nobody treated her like one.  Was it really too much to ask to get a little attention here and there.

She wasn’t looking for the guys to go out of their way and drop her compliments or anything crazy like that.  She was simply looking for them to take a closer look and see her as the woman she was, not the “tomboy friend” they had grown used to her being.

She was friends with all the guys.  And she loved all of them dearly.  Had a unique relationship with all of them.  But they all seemed to be as blind to the fact that she was no longer that lanky 14 year old they had met all those years ago, as Justin was.  That settled it in her mind, men were blind and stupid.  Among other things.

Kerrigan slowly climbed off the bed, and walked into her bathroom.  She stood before the mirror studying herself.  She wasn’t an ugly girl.  She knew she was pretty.  Maybe not a super model, but she knew she wasn’t ugly.

She had always been a taller girl, around 5’7”, and thin.  That was where everyone got the lanky thing from.  Because she was tall and thin they called her lanky, and she hated it.  But looking in the mirror, even she could notice the difference in herself.  She actually had a body.  A really nice figure if she did say so herself.

But looking at herself a little further she guessed that it probably wasn’t so easy for people to tell, since she was always wearing jeans and t-shirts.  She never really wore anything form fitting.  She liked her clothing somewhat baggy and comfortable.  She definitely wasn’t a girly girl.

That was something she had been thinking about changing for a while.  Possibly getting a makeover so to speak.  Maybe a haircut.  A little makeup.  Some different clothes.  Maybe then guys would notice her.

Kerrigan sighed and mumbled to herself.  “Face it Kerr.  You’re just you.  Kerr!”

She turned sideways, to further study herself in the mirror.  It seemed she was doing that a lot lately.  Scrutinizing herself.  Trying to figure out why no one noticed she wasn’t a little girl anymore.  It was literally starting to drive her crazy.  She was surrounded by guys, and not one seemed to notice her.  Not ONE!

She turned back facing the mirror and began to play with her long brown hair.  It was always pulled back in a pony tail.  She didn’t even know why she bothered keeping her hair since she never did anything with it.  Wasn’t like it was so easy to take care of.  Not when your hair is clear down your back.  That takes a lot of upkeep.  She was seriously thinking of cutting it all off.

“If they think I’m a boy, I might as well look like one.” she mumbled, pulling the tie out of her hair, so it could flow freely down her back.

Kerrigan let out another sigh and continued to scrutinize herself in the mirror.  Looking over herself, inspecting every freckle on her face.  She had great skin.  Luckily blemishes had never really been a problem for her growing up.  Unlike other people she knew her age.

She pulled her shirt tight to her body, giving further thought to the idea of getting some new clothing.  More form fitting clothing.  Something a little more flattering to the figure she now possessed.  Something all together more feminine.

Pulling her shirt up, Kerrigan studied her stomach in the mirror.  It was flat and toned.  Maybe she could even get a belly piercing.  Britney had one and she actually thought it was rather cute, but she knew that everyone would trip out if she got a belly ring.  But then change was good, right?

“What are you doing?” came Justin’s voice from behind her, causing Kerrigan to jump.  Her eyes shot up to meet his in the mirror.  He was giving her a peculiar look.

“Oh…um…” she stammered, quickly dropping her shirt back down to his normal position.  “Nothing.”

“Why was you staring at your stomach?” Justin asked, moving to stand beside her.  “Something wrong?” he asked, attempting to lift her shirt to look at her stomach, but Kerrigan quickly batted his hand away.

“How did you get in here?  Do you not knock?” she asked.

“Mike let me in.  And I did knock.  A couple times in fact, but you never answered.  I thought maybe something was wrong so I asked him to unlock your door for me.  It’s not like you to not answer your door.  Or to leave the show early.  Is everything ok?”

“Everything’s fine.” Kerrigan said nonchalantly, walking out of the bathroom and back to her bed.

Justin followed her into the other room, eyeing her.  “You sure something’s not wrong.  The guys pointed out that you’ve been acting strange this week.”

“Justin, everything’s fine.  Why would they think I’ve been acting strange?”

“I don’t know.  I didn’t notice anything, but they said you haven’t been yourself this week.  And it’s really not like you to leave during the show.  You always wait on me.”

“Well, I was tired so I decided to come back to the hotel.  I didn’t think it was a big deal.  I’ve seen the other two shows this week, and I’ve still got a ton more to see.  I’m sure I didn’t miss anything.” she shrugged, and began flipping through the channels.

Justin sat down on the bed beside her.  He studied her.  She was acting kind of weird.  Usually she was more energetic and excited about things.  The guys were right, she really wasn’t acting like herself.  “You know if something’s bothering you, you can tell me right?”

Kerrigan glanced up at Justin and rolled her eyes.  “Really, J.  Everything’s fine.  I was just tired.  Trying to get back in the swing of being on tour again.  It’s really not a big deal.”

“OK.  I just wanted to make sure everything was ok.”

“It is, so stop worrying so much.  If something was wrong, you know I’d tell ya.” she gave him a half smile.

“Ok, I was just checking.”

They were silent for a few moments.  Kerrigan had focused her attention on some infomercial that was on TV, and Justin was lost in thought.  It was blatantly obvious that something was troubling Kerrigan, and he knew it.  But he also knew that he couldn’t push her because it wouldn’t do him any good.  She was stubborn just like him, and she wouldn’t talk until she was ready.

“Ok, so I guess you’re too tired to go out with us then?” he asked, breaking the silence.

Kerrigan looked back up at Justin.  “Go out where?” she asked.

“To a club.  Joe suggested it, and I’m still all pumped up from the show, and this is our first overnight in a city, so it sounded good to me.” he shrugged.

“I don’t know, J.  I’m kinda tired.”

“Aw, come on Kerr!  It’ll be fun.  Maybe you need a night out with the guys.  Besides I’m still getting used to this being able to legally drink stuff.  I’ll sneak ya a drink.” he smirked at her.

But Kerrigan didn’t return his smile.  She was still stuck on his statement about a night out with the guys.  It figured he’d say something like that.  What more proof did she need?  If it wasn’t obvious before, this was all she needed to know exactly how Justin seen her.  But then she knew it hadn’t changed since she had seen him earlier that afternoon.

“J, really I’m tired and…” she attempted, but Justin cut her off.

“I’m not taking no for an answer.  It’s obvious something’s wrong, and I’m not even gonna press on that because I know better.  But you need to quit sulking and come out with us.  You know you’ll have a good time.  You always do.”

“Oh yeah.  I always have a great time.” she said, and then thought, “Watching you guys fawn over all the girls at the club, while you leave me at the damn table alone.”

“I’m going to ignore the sarcastic remark, and accept that as a yes.” he smiled.

“Whatever.” she shrugged.

“Don’t whatever me.  Get your ass up and come on.  We gotta meet up with the other guys in Joey’s room.” he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her up from the bed.

“Wait.  I should probably change.” Kerrigan argued.

“Nah, you look fine.  Come on, let’s go.” Justin said, continuing to pull on her arm.

Kerrigan dug her feet into the carpet and pulled her arm from him. “I look fine?  Have you seen what I’m wearing?” she asked, gesturing towards her rumpled outfit.

“Jeans and a t-shirt.  What else would you be wearing?  That’s what you always wear.” he shrugged.

And that went right through the heart.  Although, he did have a point, and she didn’t feel like arguing with him.  “Whatever.” she sighed, and allowed herself to be pulled from her room.