Chapter 31

Justin stood there in shock.  Unable to say anything, only able to stare at her.  Trace on the other hand was shocked, but reacting in a totally different way.

“YOU’RE PREGNANT?”  he demanded.  “What do you mean you’re pregnant?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean?  How much clearer can I be.  I’m pregnant.  They did a test and it came back positive.  I’m pregnant.”

“How can you be pregnant?  Did you know already?  I mean how could you not know?” Trace questioned.

“I don’t know.  I missed my last period, but I didn’t think anything of it because I’ve always had really irregular periods.  They never come when they’re supposed to, so it didn’t even occur to me that I could be pregnant.”

“Ok, that was too much information.” Trace muttered.

“Well, you asked!”

Justin walked over and sat down in a chair, still completely silent.  His mind reeling over the new information.  Kerrigan was pregnant.  Kerrigan was going to have a baby.  Cody’s baby.  Cody had gotten Kerrigan pregnant.

And the anger was growing within Justin.  He couldn’t believe that she was pregnant.  That Cody had gotten her pregnant.  There was no doubt in Justin’s mind that Cody had done it on purpose either.  He didn’t understand how the guy, who claimed to love her, could ruin her life that way.  She was too young to have a child.  She had her whole life ahead of her and now he was taking that away from Kerrigan, and that angered Justin more than anything.

Unable to control his anger Justin spoke up.  “How the hell did this happen, Kerrigan?  Didn’t you use protection?”

Kerrigan turned from her argument with Trace to look at Justin.  She could see the fire in his eyes.  And the disappointment.  The disappointment she knew was going to be there.  When the doctors had told her that she was pregnant the first thing that popped into her mind above anything else was telling Justin and Trace.  Especially, Justin.

She knew he was going to be disappointed in her.  And she also expected the reaction she was getting, but nothing could have prepared her for that look of disappointment.  Even though she knew it was going to be there, there was no way she could have prepared herself for it.  Just that simple emotion in his eyes had the power to completely destroy her inside.

“Justin….” she sighed.  Not really wanting to get into her personal life like that.

“Don’t Justin me!” he snapped at her.  “You’re a smart  girl, Kerrigan.  I can’t believe you would do something so reckless.  Especially, with him!  You should have known he would do this.  There’s not a doubt in my mind that he didn’t do this on purpose!”

“Justin, get real.  You don’t really think Cody would get me pregnant on purpose do you?  I mean come on, I know you don’t like him but be real!” she argued.

“What am I supposed to think?  You two haven’t been together that damn long.  You shouldn’t have been sleeping with him in the first place.  But to let him talk you into NOT wearing protection, he had to have had a reason, Kerrigan!” Justin fumed, while defiantly crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I don’t want to have this conversation with you right now, Justin.  Actually, I never want to have this conversation with you.  What me and Cody do in our private time is no ones business but our own.”

“Well it’s not exactly private anymore is it?  I mean you’re fucking pregnant!” Justin said angrily, as he stood up and began to pace the room.

Kerrigan turned to Trace.  “Would you please talk some sense into him, Trace?  Tell him he’s overreacting.”

Trace merely shook his head.  “Sorry, Kerr but I agree with J on this one.”

Kerrigan groaned.  She’d never get anywhere with this conversation if she had both of them against her.  “Well, there’s not much I can do about it now.  So you’ll just have to accept it.”

“Yeah, not like we have a choice.” Justin muttered.  He wasn’t really angry with Kerrigan, although he was sure it appeared that way.  He was just angry with the situation.  And with Cody.  He would support Kerrigan no matter what, but everything with Cody was just going WAY too far.  And all of those nagging feelings he’d been having about Cody were once again resurfacing in the pit of his stomach.

“Justin, please.  Both of you!” Kerrigan pleaded, she didn’t want to fight with them.  “I’m not anywhere near happy about this either, but this is MY life we’re discussing.  This effects me and only me.  You are not the ones that’re going to have a baby.  I am!  And I could really use your support here.  I don’t need your lectures.  I don’t need to know how disappointed you are in me.  I don’t need any of that, because I can assure you no one’s more disappointed in me, than myself.  This wasn’t planned, but it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it.  I’ve just got to make the best of it.”

“You’re too young to have a baby.” Trace stated, setting back in the chair.

“Younger people than me have had babies.” she replied.

“But this changes everything, Kerrigan.  I mean EVERYTHING!” Justin emphasized.  “You can’t take a baby on the road with you.  You’re not going to be able to do a lot of the things you used to be able to do.  This is life altering.”

“I know.” she sighed, looking down to her lap.

Justin’s heart sank, he could tell she was scared.  That she was worried.  He could also tell by the expression her face that she realized all too well what this was going to do.  What it was going to change.  She didn’t look happy about it, but like she had said, it happened and there was nothing she could do about it.  She had already accepted that fact in her short time of knowing.  And if she had accepted it, he would have to find a way to accept it as well.

Justin walked over to the side of her bed and grabbed her hand, holding it in between his two larger hands.  “Look, Kerr.  I’m sorry I yelled.  I know you didn’t plan this and I know there’s nothing you can do about it, but I worry about you.  I’m just concerned is all.  You know that I’ll be right here by your side every step of the way if you need anything.” he said sincerely.

Trace took that moment as well to speak up.  He got up from his chair, and walked over to Kerrigan taking her other hand in his.  “Same here, Kerr.  I love ya girl and if you need anything, I’m here for you.”

Kerrigan looked back and forth between her two friends.  They were such incredible people and she couldn’t have asked for anyone better in her life.  Sure they infuriated her at times.  And annoyed the shit out of her, but when it really mattered.  When she really needed them, they were always there.

“Thanks you guys.  You don’t know how much that means.” she sniffled, trying to hold back her tears.

“Aw, group hug.” Justin said, leaning in to hug Kerrigan.  Trace doing the same.

The three of them sat there hugging each other for a long moment.  Both Trace and Justin could feel Kerrigan’s body as it trembled slightly.  “Kerr, you’re shaking what’s wrong?” Justin asked.

“I’m scared.” she admitted softly.

“Scared of what?” Trace asked, none of them breaking their embrace.

“Everything.” Kerrigan mumbled.  “This is so overwhelming.”

“It’ll be ok.  Everything will work out Kerr, there’s no reason to be scared.  You got me and Trace if nothing else.” Justin said.

“Yeah.” she agreed, half heartedly.  Even though Justin claimed Cody had gotten her pregnant on purpose, Kerrigan just couldn’t fathom that.  She was worried he was going to be upset and leave her when he found out.  That had been her second fear.  Right after her fear of Justin’s disappointment.

“Just be thankful that it’s not J’s kid, that way the poor child won’t be cursed with those dreadful curls!” Trace joked, hoping to make her smile.

And it worked.  A small smile played across Kerrigan’s face.  “Yeah, I can’t imagine having to deal with that.” she smirked.

“Don’t diss the curls.” Justin retorted playfully, but on the inside he couldn’t help but think about Trace’s statement.  He suddenly realized that part of the reason he was so upset that Kerrigan was pregnant by Cody, wasn’t just because it was Cody, but because it wasn’t him.

Justin sat on the sofa in their large suite, secretively listening to Kerrigan’s conversation with Cody on the phone.  He was trying not to be obvious, but it was so hard not to roll his eyes or snort at some of the conversations they had.  And to top it off, it had been a full week since Kerrigan had found out she was pregnant and she still hadn’t told Cody yet.

She had confided in Justin that she was concerned that once she told him he would leave her.  Which of course was absurd to Justin, considering he still insisted that Cody had “knocked her up on purpose”.  But he couldn’t get Kerrigan to see that.  She wouldn’t even consider the thought.  And that annoyed the shit out of Justin.  It was like she had him up on some pedastool and the guy could do no wrong.  If only she could see what he and everyone else did.

Justin’s ears perked up when he heard Kerrigan denying that anything was wrong.  Apparently Cody had noticed that she was being unusually quiet and that he was doing most of the talking, compared to what their conversations were normally like.

Justin looked over at Kerrigan and stared at her.  He knew if he stared long enough she would look at him.   And when she did he shook his head at her and mouthed the words, “You need to tell him.” at her.  Kerrigan sighed and rolled her eyes.  It was the same thing he’d been preaching to her all week long.

Justin cleared his throat to get her attention again when she looked away from him.  Giving him a dirty look, Kerrigan looked back over at him.  “Tell him, Kerrigan.” Justin coaxed softly so that Cody couldn’t hear him.

She nodded at him and took a deep breath.  She might as well get it over with.  If he was gonna walk, it was better to find out now than down the road.  At least she could just get that part out of the way.

“Cody, I need to tell you something.” she said meekly into the phone.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“Well, I got some…..um…important news a few days ago.” she said, glancing over at Justin for support.  He merely nodded for her to continue.

“Important news?  About what?” Cody questioned.  He knew she’d been acting funny lately but he had no clue why.

“Well, I had a bit of a spell a few days ago, and I…well I fainted.”

“YOU FAINTED?  Are you ok?” Cody asked frantically.  That definitely got his attention.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  I went to the hospital though….” she trailed off.

“And?  What did they say?” he urged.

“They said I’m pregnant.” Kerrigan stated quickly.  There was no other way for her to say it.

“Pregnant?” Cody questioned.

Kerrigan sighed, he didn’t sound happy.  Her heart was sinking and she suddenly felt very nauseous.  “Yeah, pregnant.”

“Wow.” he said, trying to hide his inner glee.  He’d been hoping for a while to be getting that news from her.

“Are you mad?” she asked.

Cody smiled.  “No, of course I’m not mad.  I wasn’t expecting this, but everything happens for a reason, Kerrigan.  And it’s a baby.  Our baby.  How could I be mad about that?”

A smile lit up Kerrigan’s face.  She had not been expecting him to take the news so well, but she was extremely happy that he was.  That was hopefully a sign that everything would work out in the end.  That she wouldn’t end up some single mom like so many other unfortunate girls her age did.

“Ok.” she muttered, not knowing what else to say.

“Are you upset?” Cody questioned, sensing the hesitancy in her voice.

“Well, like you said I wasn’t expecting this.  And I’m not going to lie.  This isn’t exactly the best time in my life for something of this magnitude, but it happened and like you said everything happens for a reason.  So apparently it’s meant to be.”

Justin snorted to himself at Kerrigan’s words.  It was meant to be alright, he thought.  It was meant to be because Cody had planned it to happen that way.

Kerrigan shot Justin a dirty look and turned her attention back to Cody.  “So yeah, that’s what I needed to tell you.  Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I was trying to figure it out in my head.”

“It’s ok.  I understand.” Cody paused for a moment.  “So we’re going to have a baby?”

“Yeah.” Kerrigan smiled.  For the first time she actually felt somewhat happy about the whole thing.  “We’re going to have a baby.”

“I love you, Kerrigan.  I couldn’t be happier about this.  I mean I know it’s not the best time, but I love you and I’m sure everything will work out.” Cody said.

“I’m sure it will too.” she smiled.