Chapter 37
 

“All I know is that mother fucker better not be here!” Justin said, as he and Trace made their way up the stairs to Kerrigan’s apartment.

They had flown in first thing that morning.  After receiving the news the previous afternoon, Justin’s moving had been put off.  Well not completely.  They finished moving everything into the house but as for unpacking, it wasn’t an option at the moment.  Both Justin and Trace’s minds were preoccupied with other thoughts.  And although the anger they were both feeling had been somewhat beneficial in motivating them to move things into the new house.  It did very little for motivating them to unpack anything.

Justin’s Mom Lynn, had suggested that the boys hold off on that part.  She knew her son and she knew his temper.  She didn’t want him to destroy all of his things while he worried himself over Kerrigan the rest of the evening.

The guys had attempted to get a flight out the night before so they could get to Kerrigan sooner, but there had been no available flights going to Orlando, so they’d had to tough it out till morning.  But they had caught a flight first thing that morning and now they were in Orlando.

And they were both going to put their feet down.  They were not going to allow Kerrigan to put herself through this.  And if either one of them got their hands on Cody, well the boy just better wish for a miracle.  Because they both were looking to kill him with their own bare hands.

“I agree!” Trace retorted, as the two of them marched down the short hall to Kerrigan’s apartment.

As soon as they reached it, Justin began banging loudly on the door.  He didn’t care who he disturbed or who got pissed off.  He was making his presence known.

A few moments later, in the middle of another one of Justin’s beatings, the door flung open.  “What the hell…” Kerrigan began to protest, but stopped dead in her tracks when she seen both Justin and Trace standing there angrily.

Immediately Kerrigan knew that they knew.  It was written all over their faces.  And if that wasn’t bad enough, when they seen her face and her black eye their anger grew.

Justin immediately grabbed her face in his hands.  “I’m going to fucking kill him!” he growled.

Kerrigan pulled back from him and attempted to speak.  “Wha…what are you two doing here?” she stuttered.

“What do you THINK we’re going here?” Trace asked angrily, as he pushed past her and entered her apartment.

“Do you really need an explanation, or isn’t it obvious?” Justin said, following Trace and pushing past her to enter her apartment.

Kerrigan stood in the doorway for a brief moment stunned.  Trying to gather her thoughts on how she was going to handle this situation.  This was NOT going to go over well.  Not at all.

Closing the door quietly, she took her time walking into the living room.  She didn’t want to deal with them right now.  Not ever.  This was the last thing she needed.  She had been under enough stress lately with Cody, without adding Trace and Justin to the list.

But Kerrigan knew there was no getting around this.  They were there for a reason and they were determined.  It had been written all over their faces.  She was just very thankful for the fact that Cody wasn’t there, because she knew all too well that if he was, the apartment wouldn’t be as quiet as it was at the moment.  Instead it would be filled with the sounds of things breaking as a fight was sure to ensue.

When she appeared in the living room, both Trace and Justin were seated on the sofa side by side.  They were watching her.  Staring at her.  Inspecting her as their eyes roamed over every visible inch of her body.  Obviously searching for any further signs of abuse.

“We need to talk.” Justin stated as calmly as he could, but Kerrigan could hear the anger in his voice.  There was no disguising that.

“I take it you spoke to Chris?” Kerrigan asked.  She should have known after the little run in she’d had with him at the grocery store the other day that he would call Justin, but she had somehow hoped that he would continue to keep her secret.  So much for that idea.

“Yeah, he called me yesterday.” Trace spoke up.  “Let’s just say I was in no way prepared for what he had to tell me.”

Kerrigan sighed.  “Ok, before you two start tripping out and going off on your little rants maybe you should hear my side.”

“Which side would that be?” Justin questioned.  “The side that tells us the truth and admits that you’ve been allowing that son of a bitch to beat you?  Or is it gonna be the side of you that LIES to us and pretends that everything is ok?”

“Justin….” she sighed.

“No, Kerrigan, let’s be honest here.  This shit’s been going on for a long ass time!  What the hell is wrong with you?  Why didn’t you tell one of us?  Why did you make Chris keep your secret?  Do you know how insane that is?  Why would you even get back with him after he hit you the first time?” Justin demanded.

“Shit.” Kerrigan sputtered.  She hadn’t counted on Chris telling them EVERYTHING.

“No, I want some answers, Kerrigan.  And I want them now!” Justin continued.

Kerrigan looked to Trace for any form of help, but it was obvious from the look on his face that she wasn’t going to get any from him.  “I love him, ok?”

“No, it’s not ok!” Trace spoke up.  “How can you love someone that does this to you?  How can you love someone that hits you, Kerrigan?”

“You guys are just like Chris.  You don’t’ understand what’s going on.  You’re not me.  You don’t know what it’s like.”

“So why don’t you tell us.” Justin stated.

“It doesn’t matter if I do.  You’re going to think whatever you want to think.  You’re not in my position so there’s no possible way for you to understand.” she said, as she walked over and threw herself down in the chair.

“That’s because there’s no valid reason for it, Kerrigan.  If you had a good reason, you’d be able to explain it to us and we’d be able to understand.” Justin said.

“That’s not true.” she objected.

“The hell it isn’t.” Justin argued.  “There’s no reason.  No good reason for you to stay with someone when they’re hitting you, Kerrigan.  I don’t give a shit if you love him or not.  If he’s hitting you then he obviously doesn’t love you.  He wouldn’t hurt you in that way if he did.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” she spat back defensively.  She couldn’t stand to hear those words.  To think that Justin was right.  She had stayed this long and endured this much because she truly believed that Cody did love her and that what she was doing was going to be for the best in the long run.  So that they could be a happy little family with their baby when the time came.

“Do you hear yourself?” Trace asked.  “You’re defending him.  How can you defend him when he does THAT to you?” he demanded, pointing towards her face.  “He beats you Kerrigan, that’s not love.”

“He doesn’t beat me!”

“The how the hell did you get that black eye?  And those bruises on your arms?  Do you like it rough or something?  Is that some weird side effect of being pregnant?” Justin practically yelled.

Kerrigan winced at his tone, she hadn’t seen him this upset in a LONG time.  And it killed her to know that she was the reason behind it, but she didn’t know what she could do.  “Don’t be cruel, Justin.”

“Oh, so it’s ok for Cody to be cruel, slap you around and God only knows what else, but I can’t even say it like it is?” he argued.

“You two only know what Chris told you.  You don’t know the facts.  Chris, doesn’t even know them.  So stop jumping to conclusions.”

“The facts are on your face and arms, Kerrigan.  We don’t need to know anything else.” Trace pointed out.

Kerrigan groaned.  She wasn’t getting anywhere in this conversation.  And she knew she wasn’t likely to either, but she had to at least try.  “Would you two please calm down for a minute and think rationally.”

“Think rationally?” Justin snorted.  “I’m supposed to sit here and look at my best friend and see her sitting across from me with a black eye and bruises on her arms from her fucking boyfriend and I’m supposed to think rationally?”

“Just calm down.” she told him.

“NO!  I cannot be calm.  I REFUSE TO BE CALM!” Justin yelled.  “Being calm and standing by in the past hasn’t gotten me anywhere except here, where I’m looking at you and all I want to do is take you away and protect you.  Protect you from someone that’s HURTING YOU!  And you want me to be calm!  Kerrigan, I love you!  You’re my friend.  I cannot be calm about this!” Justin blurted out.

“Please don’t do this.  Not now.  I don’t need this stress.” Kerrigan pleaded.

“You don’t need to be hit either, but you allow it.” Trace retorted.

Kerrigan couldn’t take much more.  She knew they were right.  She understood their concern and appreciated it, but she was sick of people telling her how to live her life.  Telling her what she could and couldn’t do.  Sick of people judging her.

She had her reasons for doing what she was doing and they would never understood in a million years why she endured the things she did, even if they tried.  And there was no way she was going to try to explain it to them.  She didn’t owe them an explanation.  This didn’t effect anyone but her.

“No, what I don’t need is you two walking up in here with your holier than thou attitudes, trying to tell me how to live my life!” Kerrigan finally blew up.  “You don’t live in my shoes, you don’t know what’s going on in my life, so don’t sit there and preach to me.  I understand you’re upset and I appreciate your concern, but this is MY LIFE and ya’ll need to butt the fuck out!”

“We’d understand if you would talk to us.” Justin said a little more calmly.

“No you wouldn’t.  I’ve know you two all of my life and I know you better than you know yourselves.  You could NEVER comprehend the things that go through my head.  Or that go on in my life.  You’re not ME!  You’re not pregnant and about to have a baby.  So don’t try to pretend that you could possibly understand, because you can’t!”

“I think you’re getting angry at the wrong people.” Trace said as he stood up.  “You should be directing that anger towards Cody.  He’s the one that did all of this to you.  He’s the one that got you pregnant.  He’s the one that’s hitting you.  He’s the one responsible for all of this.  Don’t turn it around on me and Justin.  We’re you’re friends.  We love you.  We’re just looking out for you.”

“I don’t need you to look out for me!” she retorted.

“Obviously you do if you’re going to just stand by and let that jackass beat you!” Trace spat back.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!” Kerrigan yelled.

“We’re talking about him hitting you Kerrigan.  Putting his hands on you in a way he NEVER SHOULD!” Justin responded.

“It’s none of your business!”

“Well, I’m making it my business!” Justin stated.  “When I see that fucker I’m gonna show him what a good beating is all about!”

“I think you two need to leave!” Kerrigan said, she couldn’t take anymore of this.  She needed to think.

“Leave?  You want us to leave?” Trace asked in disbelief.

“I don’t need this right now.” Kerrigan stated, near tears.  “I don’t need the stress.  I have enough to worry about.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about anything if you would just stop this nonsense and come with us.  Kerrigan, you know we’ll take care of you.  We won't let him hurt you.” Justin said, trying to be compassionate with her.  Trying to reach inside of her to the part that he was sure knew what was happing was wrong.  There’s no possible way she could think that what she was enduring was right, or that she deserved it.  She was smarter than that.

“Please leave.” she repeated.  “I want to be alone.”

“Kerrigan…” Trace tried to protest.

“WOULD YOU  JUST FUCKING LEAVE!” she yelled.

Justin sighed and got to his feet.  “If that’s what you want, then fine we’ll leave.”

Trace began to protest, but Justin silenced him with a look.  He could tell that he and Trace had obviously struck a few nerves and hopefully they’d given her some things to think about.  Hopefully, she would come to her senses.

“If you need anything, you know where to call.” Justin said, as he crossed the living room to leave.

Trace stood there and watched Kerrigan for a moment. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she was staring at her lap.  She refused to look at him.  Finally he sighed, giving up and followed Justin out of the apartment.  Out of her life.  Praying that it wouldn’t be a permanent departure.