Chapter 38

Cody was about to get out of his truck when he noticed Justin and Trace angrily descending the stairs of the apartment building.  They were talking heatedly amongst each other and he couldn’t help but wonder what they were so fired up about.  Neither looked very pleased.  In fact they both looked down right pissed off.

That thought pleased him.  Obviously if they were leaving that way, then they’d argued with Kerrigan.  Maybe she had finally told them to stay away.

But then Cody knew better than that.  If she hadn’t told them to stay away yet, she wasn’t going to do it at all.  And as he thought about that thought the anger grew within him.  They’d obviously been inside her apartment.  And he didn’t want Kerrigan anywhere near Justin.

Cody didn’t give a shit about Trace.  He wasn’t threatened by him.  He didn’t like the guy, but he didn’t feel as though he any was the kind of threat.  Not the kind that Justin was.

Justin was the kind of threat that could very easily, if given the perfect opportunity and time, take Kerrigan away from him.  And that was something he was not going to allow to happen.  Kerrigan was his.  She was having his baby.  And that was all there was to it.

Rethinking his plans for going into the apartment at that moment, Cody got back behind the wheel of his truck and exited the apartment parking lot.  Heading straight for the closest bar.

He had a lot of things to think over.  He wanted to plan out his talk with Kerrigan in his head.  It would be more effective that way if he went into the situation knowing exactly what he wanted to say.  Less likely for him to slip up and say something he didn’t mean to.

Walking in, Cody headed straight for the bar and took a seat ordering a beer, as well as a shot of Tequila.

He sat there for several hours going over everything in his head as he continued to pore one back after another.  Drinking.  Thinking.  Drinking some more.

By the time he left the small facility five hours later he was extremely inebriated.  Stumbling out to his truck Cody fiddled with his keys for a good ten minutes before he finally managed to get the door unlocked and climbed inside.

It was time for him to confront Kerrigan once again.  He felt as if he’d been doing that a lot lately.  Confronting her about phone conversations.  Fighting with her when she would bring up Justin and Trace, still wondering why she couldn’t go out to California to see them.  It just seemed to be one thing after another with her.  And it never failed to be revolve around Justin in some way.

But Cody had decided that was going to stop tonight for sure.  He was sick of the questioning.  Sick of the fighting.  And he was going to end it all right then and there.  He didn’t care what he had to do, he was going to get it through Kerrigan’s thick skull that he was in charge and that what he says goes.

And Justin Timberlake was going.

Kerrigan was still seated in the same chair she had been sitting in when Justin and Trace had left hours before.  But she couldn’t bring herself to move.

All of the things Trace and Justin had said to her were running through her head like a freight train.  Things she hadn’t considered before, or more accurately refused to consider, were right there in front of her face plain as day.

She couldn’t understand why she had put up with all of the abuse she had.  Sure she didn’t want to be a single mother and she wanted her baby to have a family, but was this really the kind of environment she wanted her child to grow up in?  Did she want her child to see her get beat and smacked around just for wanting her friends in her life.

Kerrigan cared about Cody immensely, she knew that to be true.  But she knew Justin was right, if Cody loved her the way he claimed he wouldn’t be doing the things to her he was doing.  He would not try to keep her from her friends.  And he surely would not be abusing her over it.

She knew what she had to do, but didn’t know if she had the courage to do it.  There was still that part inside of her that didn’t want to let go no matter what.  She didn’t want to be alone and that part inside of her knew that no matter what Justin, Trace or anyone else said for that matter, that she would be alone.  Because none of them would be able to understand her dilemma.

Sure they would be there for her the best they could, she had no doubts about that at all.  But Kerrigan knew that they couldn’t be there for her in the way that she would really need them to be.  This was something that only she could deal with.  This was an internal problem that no one else but herself could fix.

Finally, after hours of intense thinking, Kerrigan decided that she was going to tell Cody how it was for a change.  She was going to tell him that Justin and Trace were her friends and he could either except that or he could hit the road.  She was going to give him an ultimatum.

This would prove to her just how much he “really” cared.  And would also allow herself to give him one last chance.  In the hope that he would choose wisely and they would still be able to be a family.

So Kerrigan sat there for a while longer waiting for Cody.  He was supposed to have been there several hours earlier but had never shown up, and when she tried to call his cell phone it went straight to voice mail.  She wasn’t sure what was going on, but knew that he would be there eventually.  It was her apartment and technically Cody didn’t live there, but other than his name not being on the lease he did in every other aspect.

Finally, around 8:30 in the evening she heard the lock click on the front door and knew he was finally there.  Kerrigan took a deep breath and mentally started preparing herself for the conversation that was about to take place.  Trying to reassure herself that everything would work out in the end.

But her resolve on the situation quickly slipped away when Cody came stumbling into the room drunk off his ass.

This was a side of him she hadn’t seen in a while.  He had a few beers every now and then, but he rarely got himself so intoxicated that he could barely walk and Kerrigan couldn’t help but to wonder what had gone on for him to drink himself into a stupor like he was.

As soon as Cody locked eyes on Kerrigan, all of his anger from earlier that afternoon came flying back from every angle.

Mentally he was telling himself to stay calm and approach this situation in that manner, that it was the only way anything was really going to be accomplished.  But the other part of him was so enraged that he couldn’t control himself, let alone any of his emotions.

The only thing he could think about when he seen her was that Justin had been there earlier that day.  That he had been inside her apartment with her alone.  Technically, he hadn’t been alone since Trace was with him, but that was close enough for Cody’s taste, considering he didn’t want him ANYWHERE near Kerrigan.

Storming across the room without a thought in his head, Cody reached out for Kerrigan and grabbed her by her arm, pulling her up from the chair.

She looked completely shocked by this action and didn’t seem to know what to do.  She had just been sitting there watching him as she always did.  But for some reason tonight that only infuriated Cody more.

Jerking her around quickly, Cody slammed her against the wall.  “What the hell was HE doing here today?” he asked, venomously.

“He?  Who are you talking about?” Kerrigan asked innocently.  Her mind was such a jumble from his rash chaotic behavior, she couldn’t think clearly about anything.

“Justin, that’s who!  What was he doing here?  I thought I told you to stay away from him!” Cody demanded answers, shoving her further against the wall.

“He and Trace just stopped by.” Kerrigan muttered, unable to get anything else out.

“Why haven’t you told them to stay away like I told you to?  Why do you insist on disobeying me?”

“Cody, please stop you’re hurting me.” Kerrigan pleaded.  Pain was shooting through her arms and back from his grip on her and banging her into the wall.

“Stop?  You want me to stop?  I’ll stop when you start listening to me.  Until then this is what you get, honey.  You’re going to learn.  You’re going to learn not to defy me!” he growled.

Kerrigan was literally scared for her life, the look alone in his eyes was murderous.  She wasn’t sure what he’d seen or heard that had set him off this way, but she’d never in all of their fights and altercations seen him this angry.  Never.

“Cody, please let’s talk about this calmly.  There’s no need…”

He cut her off by jerking her forward and again slamming her into the wall.  “We’re not talking about SHIT!  You’re going to do what I fucking tell you and that’s it.  No more of this, "Why can’t I do this?  Why can’t I do that, shit."  You got me?  NO MORE!”  he yelled.

Tears were streaming down Kerrigan’s face.  She didn’t know what to do.  What to say.  The only thing she could focus on was the anger in his eyes and the pain that was coursing through her body.  Her mind was on overload.

“Fucking answer me!” Cody demanded.

“What do you want me to say?” she asked feebly.

“DAMMIT, KERRIGAN!” he yelled, this time pulling her away from the wall and throwing her to the floor.  “I want you to tell me that you’re not going to worry about Justin anymore.  That you’re going to cut ALL ties to him.  I don’t even want you talking to him on the phone.  THAT’S WHAT I WANT!”

Kerrigan curled into a fetal position on the floor.  It was instinct for her to do so, a form of protecting herself.  She couldn’t do anything but lay there and cry, which only angered Cody further.

“SAY IT YOU FUCKING BITCH!  TELL ME THAT YOU’RE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME!” he yelled down at her shaking body.

Kerrigan’s heart was breaking.  Her soul was shattering as the reality of everything hit her like a ton of bricks.  Justin and Trace were right, Cody didn’t love her.  He just wanted to control her.  Love could NEVER be so cruel and it killed her.  Especially, to know that they had created a child together.  A child that before she had assumed had been created out of love, but now she knew the reality of it.  No longer did she doubt Justin’s words.  Suddenly, she believed that Cody had done this on purpose.

Purposely impregnated her as another means of controlling her.  Keeping her away from the people that truly loved and cared about her.  The people that would without a doubt lay down their lives for her.  Things that she was sure Cody would never do.  Why did love have to be so blind?  Why did she have to be so naïve?  Why hadn’t she just listened to Justin?

He hadn’t liked Cody for a reason.  He had always been a great judge of character, yet she had purposefully ignored Justin’s obvious distaste for the guy.  And all because she wanted some attention.  All because she wanted to feel loved and appreciated.  Accepted.  All because she was a stupid fucking girl that didn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground.  When had she become this person and why?

Finding what little bit of courage she held within her, Kerrigan looked up and met Cody’s eyes for the first time since he’d initially slammed her into the wall.  “No.”