Chapter 66
 

Chris stood smiling as he watched his two friends wrapped up in each other’s arms.  He was overcome with happiness, it was about time they were together.  They should have been together a long time ago as far as he was concerned.  But then he also conceded that everything happened for a reason and it probably just hadn’t been meant to be at an earlier time.  But they were together now and that was all that mattered.

He decided to join his friends at their table so he went off in search of another chair.  Finding one he returned to their table and joined in on their conversation.

They chatted about what they had all individually been up to over the last few weeks since they’d seen each other.  Talked about Justin’s album and the success it was having.  Along with many other various topics.  And during the conversations, Chris couldn’t help but watch Kerrigan and Justin.  They seemed so happy, so in love.

The longer Chris watched them, the happier he got for them.  They had been through so much together and had somehow managed to still come out on top.  But then his mind drifted to a darker thought.  Their fight still wasn’t over yet.  No matter how much any of them wanted to forget about it.  The simple fact was that Kerrigan still had to face her trial.  And there was a possibility that she could go to prison.  That thought caused Chris to frown.

Kerrigan and Justin had just gotten together, what on earth would they do if that did happen?  He knew that would tear both of them apart.  He didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to bring it up.  But he felt like it needed to be considered.

Clearing his throat to gain everyone’s attention, Chris looked at Kerrigan and Justin.  “So have you two considered all of the possibilities?”

Justin gave Chris a confused look.  “Possibilities of what?  What are you talking about?”

Chris looked down at his hands, then looked back up to meet Justin’s eyes.  “What you’re going to do if Kerrigan’s trial doesn’t go in a favorable way?”

Trace choked on his beer at Chris’ words, then glared at the man for bringing the subject up.  “Where the hell did that come from?” he demanded.

“I just felt like it should be addressed.  I mean I don’t want to think about it anymore than anyone else but seriously, ya’ll look so happy right now and I just couldn’t help but wonder what you’re going to do if things don’t go the way we all want them to?”

“They look happy because they ARE happy!” Trace stated.  “At least until you had to go and bring that up.  Why’d you have to open your stupid fucking mouth, Chris?  Damn it, we were trying to have a good time.”

“Trace, calm down.” Kerrigan leveled him with a look before turning to Chris.  “You mean what are we going to do if I go to jail?”

Chris silently nodded, regretfully.

“You know I don’t think this is the time, nor the place to have this conversation.” Justin interjected.  He wasn’t mad at Chris for asking, it was a valid question.  He just wished he would have asked at a different time, because up until that point they’d all be having a carefree evening.  This was the last topic of conversation that needed to be brought up.

“No, J.  He’s got a point, that’s not something that we’ve considered.” she said, turning to look at Justin.  “We’ve been so rapped up in each other the last few days that we forgot to consider something that’s very important.  I mean this is a big deal.”

Justin could tell by the sound of Kerrigan’s voice that she was growing upset and that was the last thing he wanted.  He didn’t want her focusing on something that hopefully wouldn’t be a problem.  He wanted to focus on the two of them and being together.  “We can talk about this later, Kerr.  Tonight we’re supposed to have a good time, forget all our worries.  Remember?”

Kerrigan sighed, she knew they had all agreed to just go to the party and have a good time.  Leave all their worries behind them and bring in the new year with a bang.  But Chris had brought up a valid point.  A point that apparently neither she, nor Justin had thought about before.  This changed everything.

She didn’t want to think that she would actually be sentenced to prison time.  That she would be torn from Justin’s loving arms and locked away behind bars for who knew how many years.  But it was a possibility, it could very well happen.  Therefore it needed to be considered.

The last few days with Justin had been so wonderful.  She had been in love with him for so long and finally she was getting to live that long lived dream.  But what would happen if that dream were torn apart by her being sentenced to prison time?  What would that do to Justin?  What would that do to her?  They had just found their love, it was so new.  Could it really stand up to a test a big as being separated like that?

“Kerrigan, look at me.” Justin said, gently turning her face towards his.  “Please, let’s forget about that for now.  We can talk about that tomorrow, I promise.  Tonight, let’s just have a good time and be together.”

“J’s, right Kerr.  I shouldn’t have brought this up tonight, I’m sorry.  Just forget I said anything.  I’m sure everything will be fine anyways.  I guess it’s just the old man in me being a worry wart.” Chris stated.

Kerrigan nodded at the two men, giving them her best reassuring smile.  For their sakes she would try to put her fears at rest and attempt to have a good evening.
 

An hour later and Kerrigan STILL couldn’t get Chris’ words out of her head.  She had sat there, participating in the conversation, laughing, smiling, appearing to have a good time right along with everyone else at the table.  But her mind was still whirling around the thoughts of what would happen if she ended up serving time.  And the longer she continued to sit there pretending to be just as happy and carefree as everyone else, the more it got to her.

Sighing she shifted her weight on Justin’s lap, trying to stay focused on the conversation her friends were enthralled in.  But it was useless, her mind was not going to give up this battle.  She sighed and shifted again, then felt Justin’s grasp on her waist tighten slightly.

Kerrigan turned to glance at him quickly, to find that Justin was watching her closely.  He gave her a questioning look, silently asking if she was ok, which she merely shook her head no to, and turned her attention back to the others at the table.

But that action didn’t satisfy Justin, so he nudged her, motioning for her to get up.  Justin followed her lead then turned to their friends, “We’ll be back in a minute.” he said, taking Kerrigan’s hand, leading her off across the club.

When he finally found a somewhat private corner of the club, he pulled Kerrigan close to him and looked her in the eyes.  “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.  What’d you drag me all the way over here for?” Kerrigan asked as innocently as possible, although she knew from the expression on his face that he wasn’t buying it in the least.

“Kerr, something’s wrong.” he paused.  “You’re still thinking about what Chris said aren’t you?”

“No, I’m just tired.” she lied.

“Kerrigan…” he warned.

Sighing loudly, Kerrigan looked past Justin out to the dance floor and allowed her eyes to travel around, looking at all the people before she finally met his gaze.  “Yeah, I’m thinking about it, but I can’t help it.  I don’t seem to have any control over my thoughts sometimes.  I’m sorry if I’m ruining your night.”

“Kerrigan, you could never ruin my night.  You’ve made my night by just being here with me.  But if you’re not feeling good then maybe we should just go home and talk.  You and I both know that you’re not going to feel any better about this until we can sit down and talk about it properly.  There’s no sense in putting it off until tomorrow.”

“But what about the party?” she objected.

“Screw the party.  You are more important to me than any party.  And if you’re not having a good time, then I’m not having a good time.”

“But what about bringing in the New Year on a happier note and all that stuff?”

“Kerrigan, as long as I’m with you at midnight, that’s all I need.”

“Are you sure?” she sighed, knowing full well there was no way she was going to be any fun if they stayed at the party.  She was too caught up in her thoughts.

“I’m positive.” he smiled, leaning in to place a sweet kiss on her lips.  “You go over there and get Mike, tell him to pull the truck around and I’ll go tell everyone we’re leaving.”

“Trace, is going to be pissed.” she groaned.

“Who gives a shit what Trace is or isn’t.  This isn’t about him, this is about us.  Just go get Mike, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.” she nodded.

Justin leaned in and placed another gentle kiss on her lips before he pulled away and headed back across the club to inform their friends of their departure.

Kerrigan stood against the wall for a moment watching Justin’s retreating back, hating herself more for ruining his night.  She knew he’d been looking forward to this party for a few days and she had to go and mess it all up with all her crazy, drama crap.

“I’m just the best girlfriend on earth.” she mumbled to herself, as she finally set off to get Mike.
 

Around forty five minutes later the couple made their way into the house, Justin calling goodnight and Happy New Year to Mike as he pulled out of the driveway.

Kerrigan tossed her purse on to the table in the foyer as she made her way towards the living room.  Justin following closely behind her, after ensuring that the door and alarm system was all in tack.

She threw herself down in the middle of the sofa and sighed.  Justin stood at the end of the sofa and watched her for a moment before he walked around and sat beside her, reaching out to pull her closer to him.

He leaned in, kissing her on the top of her head before speaking softly into her hair.  “So do you want to talk about it?”

“If I said no, would you let me get away with it?” she countered.

Justin grinned.  “No.”

“That’s what I thought.” she said, sighing again.

“You know Kerr, you’re doing an awful lot of sighing tonight.”

“Yeah, I know.” she sighed again and Justin couldn’t help but laugh.  “It’s not funny, Justin.”

“I know what’s buggin’ you isn’t funny, but all this sighing you’re doing is.  You’re cute when you sigh.” he smirked.

Kerrigan rolled her eyes at him.  “Only YOU would find this cute.”

“Well, I’m sorry I think my girlfriend is cute.  And she’s even cuter when she’s moping around.”

“Will you still think I’m cute when I’m moping around behind bars?” she asked, turning to look away from him.

This time Justin sighed.  He’d been trying to lighten the moment, hoping that by some miracle he’d be able to distract her thoughts, but that obviously wasn’t working.  And he really didn’t need that mental image of her sitting in a jail cell somewhere.  “Kerrigan, that’s not going to happen.” he finally said.

“You don’t know that, J.  It’s a possibility.  One that we haven’t talked about.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter to me.”

Kerrigan turned to look at him.  “What do you mean it doesn’t matter to you?”

“I mean that either way I’m still going to love you.  Even though I REALLY don’t think it’s going to be an issue.  But even if you were to go to jail, I would still love you, Kerr.  Nothing is going to change that.  NOTHING.”

“Don’t be so sure.” she mumbled, fighting back the tears she could feel welling in her eyes.

Justin gently grasped Kerrigan’s chin and turned her face towards his so he could look her in the eye.  “Kerrigan, when I tell you that nothing is going to change how I feel about you.  How I love you.  I mean it.  NOTHING is going to change that.  Not all the distance in the world.  Not you going to jail.  NOTHING.”

“But Justin, you might change your mind later.  You can’t predict the future.  You have no idea how you’re going to feel once this all goes down.  Maybe you will stick around for a while, but after some time you’ll get tired of the situation and you’ll want to move on.”

“Are you suggesting that I would abandon you?  Cause I would NEVER do that to you, Kerrigan.  You of all people should know that.  I’ve stood by you through everything else, there’s no way in hell that if that DID happen, that I would just walk away from you.  I may not be able to predict all of our future, but I can promise you that there’s not a chance in hell of that EVER happening.  Do you understand me?”

Kerrigan stared into Justin’s eyes.  She could see the sincerity and fierce honesty that his words held there.  She knew in her heart that he would never abandon her, especially at a time like that.  But she was scared and when people are scared they tend to think illogically.

“Kerrigan?” Justin questioned, when she didn’t speak.

Her eyes drifted shut for a brief moment before they fluttered back open and locked with his gaze once again.  “I know, J.  I’m sorry, I’m just…there’s just so much….and I just don’t….and…” she stumbled through her words, unable to speak coherently.

“Shhh….” Justin whispered, placing a finger to her lips.  “I know, baby.  You’re scared and I don’t blame you.  I’m scared too.  But we gotta stay focused on the positive things and try to think positively about this.  I don’t want you to go to jail anymore than you do, trust me on that.  And I honestly don’t think it’s going to happen.  But if it did, I swear to you on everything that I hold dear that I would NEVER walk away from you, Kerrigan.  I would wait for you and when you got out, then we would be together.  But I honestly don’t think that’s even going to be an issue.  So please try to focus on us and the time we have together now, just on the chance that if something should go wrong that we at least had this time together to hold us over until we can be together again.  Do you think you can do that?”

“Justin…”

“Kerrigan, I love you.  That’s not going to change.  Not now, not ever.  So do you think you can just focus on us and stop worrying about the what ifs?  We have no control over them anyway, so we might as well just ignore them for as long as we can and pretend they don’t exist.”

A tear trickled down Kerrigan’s cheek as she continued to gaze into Justin’s eyes.  She didn’t even notice as he gently wiped the tear away with the padding of his thumb, she was too consumed in his gaze.  She loved him so much and she could see all of his love in his eyes, staring right back at her.  And she realized that he was right.

They couldn’t control the future and there was really no sense in worrying their selves over what may or may not happen.  They should just focus on their current happiness and being together.  They should revel in their love and make the most of it.  There would never come a time when they would be able to positively know what the future held and they couldn’t waste away what time they did have, in that moment, to cherish the love that they shared.

“You know I love you more than anything in this world, right?” she asked softly.

Justin smiled at her tenderly.  “Yeah, I know.   And you know I feel the same way?”

She smiled, nodding at him.

“Good.  As long as we understand each other.” he grinned.

Kerrigan laughed lightly, rolling her eyes at him.  “You amaze me.”

“No…” Justin said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear as he slowly leaned in towards her lips.  “You amaze me.” he finished, before touching his lips to hers.

Electricity sparked and spread throughout their bodies.  Their kiss growing strong and passionate.  After all of the kisses they had shared since their late night discussion a few days before, never had either one of them felt such strong emotions.

And as their kissing grew more intense, Kerrigan realized that she truly did love Justin.  Not that there had ever really been any doubts in her mind, but that she TRULY loved him.  With every fiber of her being, she loved him.  And as long as she had him in her life, nothing could ever harm her.

Because his love.  His embrace, had the power to calm all of her fears.  And take away every last bit of pain she had ever felt before.  He was all consuming and that feeling was a feeling she never wanted to lose.

Kerrigan slowly pulled her lips away from Justin‘s and whispered his name breathlessly.  “Justin….”

“Hmm?” he sighed, eyes closed, still completely lost from their kiss.

“Make love to me.”