Chapter 6

Justin watched Kerrigan’s retreating back, totally baffled as to why she was suddenly so pissed off at him.  He looked up at Lance who was still standing on the edge of the stage, and then off to the others in the background that had undoubtedly heard what happened.  Kerrigan’s voice hadn’t been hushed in the least.

“What just happened here?” Justin asked, turning his attention back to Lance for some form of explanation.

“Well, my guess would be that you insulted her, J.” Lance said shaking his head at him.

“Insulted her how?”

Lance stared at Justin for a moment in amazement.  How could he be so oblivious?  “Hello, Justin!  You just sat there and told her in not so many words that you were thrown because some guy was hitting on her.  You made it out like you couldn’t understand why he’d be hitting on her, or that there was something wrong with it.  I’d be insulted too!”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” he shook his head.  “I just meant…” he trailed off, not sure of what he really meant.  His eyes wandered over to JC who was giving him a knowing look, just shaking his head.  Their previous conversation coming back to Justin.

Justin looked over at Trace who was on the other side of the stage.  He wore an amused look on his face, and that only proved to further irritate Justin.  He didn’t find the whole thing funny at all.

Some strange guy was hitting on Kerrigan.  They knew nothing about him.  Then Kerrigan acts as if she hadn’t even noticed that the guy was hitting on her, which worried Justin because it was plainly obvious and if she didn’t notice then, that said something about her experience with men.  Which he knew to be very little, which only concerned him more.  And then he makes a statement, which was taken in a whole other way than what he had meant it, and now Kerrigan was pissed off at him.

This day was just not getting off to a good start.  First the scene at the mall with Kerrigan earlier that day, and now this.  But as he heard the guys calling for him, he realized he didn’t have time to think about it right now.  Or to figure out how he was going to apologize to Kerrigan and explain that wasn’t what he had meant.  Right now he had to get back to work.
 

Kerrigan made her way back to Justin’s dressing room, slamming the door behind her as she entered and then threw herself down on his sofa.  She was fuming.  Utterly pissed off.  Why was it so unbelievable that a guy would actually be hitting on her?  That a guy could be interested in her?  That a guy could see what none of the other six morons she was surrounded by apparently couldn’t?

She was a woman.  She wasn’t a super model, but she wasn’t a dog either.  She had a nice figure.  A pretty face.  Why the hell wouldn’t Cody be attracted to her?

It only pissed her off more that Justin would actually say something like that to her face.  And then say it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world to top it off.

“I mean it’s not every day some guy is hitting on our Kerrigan, so I was just curious.  Gotta check it out, ya know?”  she mumbled to herself, rubbing her temple.  She was suddenly developing a very bad migraine.

Kerrigan sighed.  Why was it so hard for the guys to see her as anything other than Kerr, their partner in crime.  Kerr, that loved to watch sports with them.  Kerr, that would get into the game and became outraged when her team wasn’t doing as well as she thought they should.  Kerr, their friend that was a girl by all physical means, but a boy through and through in their eyes.  She just couldn’t understand how they could all be so blind.

She had noticed how all the guys had changed over the years.  Granted when she had first met JC, she was young and not really into guys, even though she did have a crush on Justin.  But she appreciated that he was a cute boy.  And then when she had met the other guys a couple years later, she could appreciate that they were all good looking guys.  And they had all developed into very handsome men over the years.  If she could see beyond them just being her buddies and see that they would be an incredible catch for any girl, why couldn’t they see the same thing in her?  Why couldn’t they see that she was now a woman?

This was something that had been bothering Kerrigan for a while now, but she was becoming more and more frustrated with the situation as time passed.  She was tired of being treated like just one of the guys.  She was tired of feeling unappreciated, unattractive, and unnoticed.  Granted she knew they didn’t do it on purpose, but still what would it take to make them open their eyes and see her for what she had become?  Not what she used to be.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kerrigan yelled, releasing her frustrations.

“Feel better?” came a voice from the doorway, startling her.

Kerrigan looked over to see a smirking Trace standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.  “Not really.  What do you want?” she snapped.

“Hey, no need to get all snappy with me.  I didn’t say it, Justin did.” Trace said, entering the room fully, then shutting the door behind him.

“Trace, now is not the time to be cute.  I’m not in the mood, so if you don’t want to die today, then I would suggest you get out.  And get out now.” she growled.

“I’m not scared of you.” he said moving further into the room, which got him a knowing look in return.  “OK!  I am scared of you, and I do know you can kick my ass.  But right now you’re upset and you need a friend.  And low and behold I happen to be your friend, so here I am.”

“A friend?” Kerrigan asked in disbelief.  “A FRIEND?  HA!  I don’t see any friends around here.” she scoffed.

Traced eyed her warily.  There was more to this than the statement Justin had made.  He wasn’t sure what “this” was, but something told him it had been boiling under the surface for quite some time now.  And he was determined to find out exactly what that problem was, and try to help in whatever way he could.

He was often giving her a hard time, and hounding her about things.  But he had known Kerrigan since they were in diapers, and she was like a sister to him and he cared about her very much.  He would give his life for her, and even take someone else’s life if they harmed her in any way.  Therefore he didn’t like seeing her upset like this.

“Kerrigan, what’s going on?  I know you’re not this upset over what Justin said.” Trace said, taking a seat beside her on the sofa.  He quickly realized though that maybe she was “that” upset over the things Justin has said.

“Why can’t I be this upset over the things Justin said?  Oh wait, I know.  Because it’s SOOOOOOO unbelievable that a guy would actually be interested in me!” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she stood up.

Trace was unsure how to respond to that.  They’d never had any discussions or arguments for that matter about anything related to this before, so he was completely unprepared on how to handle the current situation.

When Trace didn’t respond, Kerrigan glared at him.  She at least expected him to deny it.  Say something to the effect that it wasn’t true, but instead he just sat there, and that only pissed her off more.

“Men are such jackasses!” she glared at him.

Traced eyed her.  “Kerrigan what is this about?  I mean really, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?  WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?” she glared, raising her voice.  “What’s wrong with me is that you guys are such assholes.  You act like it’s impossible for any guy to be attracted to me.  Like it’s so unbelievable that Cody could possibly be interested in me.  And I wanna know why?  Why is it SO hard to believe that he could like me?  See me as more than just Justin’s friend, or Justin’s personal assistant?  As more than just ONE of the guys?”

“You like him, huh?”

Ok, that wasn’t exactly the response she was looking for.  “What?” she asked.

“I said you like him.  You do, don’t you?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“A lot actually.  It would explain your sudden behavior.  It would probably explain a lot of things.  You like this guy, huh Kerr?” Trace eyed her, awaiting her response.

“I think he’s good looking.  I don’t know him well enough to say I like him, Trace.  I’ve only talked to him two times now.”

“You like him.” he affirmed with an all knowing nod.

Kerrigan growled.  This had nothing to do with what she had just asked him.  “Quit changing the subject!”

“I’m not changing the subject.  I’m just trying to figure out why the hell you’re so pissed off.”

“I just told you why I’m so pissed off, Trace!  I’m tired of being ignored.  You guys treat me like just one of the guys.  You’re totally oblivious to the fact that I’m a girl, and you act like there’s something wrong with the possibility of Cody liking me!”

“There’s nothing wrong with him liking you, Kerr.  You’re a beautiful girl.  Why wouldn’t he like you?” Trace said honestly.

Kerrigan froze in her spot.  Had Trace just acknowledged that she was actually a girl?  And a beautiful one at that?  “What did you just say?”

“I said why wouldn’t he like you?” he gave her a odd look.

“You said I was a girl.” Kerrigan pointed out.

“Well, duh.  You are a girl, Kerr.” he chuckled.  “You of all people should know that.”

“But you never refer to me as a girl.  Especially, a beautiful girl.  You’re always referring to me as one of the guys.” she said, setting down once again on the sofa.

“Well, if I remember correctly you requested that we do that many years ago.  And I learned my lesson after several slugs to the stomach not to tease you about being a girl a short while after that.”

“I’m not asking that you tease me, Trace.  Just acknowledge it.” she sighed, looking down at the floor.

Trace watched her from his spot on the sofa.  He wasn’t sure where all of this was coming from.  Kerrigan being so upset because they referred to her as one of the guys.  She never seemed to have a problem with it before.  However, he supposed that maybe since she was now taking interest in this guy that maybe that had been the cause of her sudden change of mind, and her insistence that she be treated as a girl.

“Is that what’s been bothering you lately?  I know something has been.  We’ve all noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately.” he asked, Kerrigan still watching the floor as if it was a really interesting thing to look at.

“Kinda.” she hesitated, not sure if she really wanted to tell Trace what had been bothering her lately.  He might find a way later to throw it in her face and tease her with it.

“Kerr, I’m you’re friend first and foremost above everything else.  You know if something’s bothering you that you can come to me and talk to me about.  Or Justin for that matter.  We’re both always here, and you know that.  And to be honest, lately both of us have been a little worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” she asked, finally looking over at him.

Trace smiled at her.  “Yes, worried about you.  I mean you just haven’t been yourself lately.  Usually on tour you’re so excited and pumped up, just like all of us.  But so far on this one you’ve been keeping to yourself a lot.  I mean at first I thought you was just PMS’ing or something…” he smirked at her and Kerrigan rolled her eyes.  “But over the last couple of days I figured out that your PMS spurts never last this long.”

“You would somehow tie this into PMS or something.” she shook her head.

“Hey, just another fact that I have realized before this conversation that you’re a girl.”

“Whatever.” Kerrigan rolled her eyes again.

Trace smiled.  “So do you feel better now, or is there anything else that’s bothering you?”

Kerrigan sighed.  “I feel like such a whiney baby.”

“We all get that way sometimes, Kerr.  Maybe next time you should come to one of us and talk about it and not let it build up and fester so bad.”

“Trace, everyone’s been so busy with their own thing lately.  The tour is naturally a busy time.  And to top that off, Justin’s going through his own shit right now with the whole Brit breakup.  And you’ve been busy trying to distract him.  And I don’t feel comfortable talking to the other guys about this sorta stuff.  Hell, I don’t really feel comfortable talking to you or Justin about this stuff, so the others are definitely out.”

“I feel loved.” Trace said sarcastically.

“Shut up.” Kerrigan slugged him in his arm gently.

Trace laughed.  “OK, so we feel better now?  No more hissy fits?”

“I did not throw a hissy fit!” Kerrigan argued.

“That was most certainly a hissy fit.  A total girl thing to do!” he smirked.

“Ok, lets get something straight.  I may be a girl, and yes I want to be acknowledged as so, but I’m not THAT kind of girl.  I do not throw hissy fits.”

“Whatever you say, Kerr.”

Kerrigan sighed and rolled her eyes.  “You’re gonna go back and tell all the guys about this conversation aren’t you.  I’m gonna be the laughing stock of the tour by the end of the day, aren’t I?”

Trace met her eyes, and Kerrigan saw nothing but sincerity there.  “I’m not going to say anything.  This is between you and me.  This was obviously very personal to you, Kerr.  I know you wouldn’t have been that upset if it wasn’t.  And I wouldn’t be a true friend if I went back to the guys and started telling them all about your little breakdown and confession.  And even though I don’t always act like a good friend, I think you know in your heart of hearts that I am.”

Kerrigan smiled at him.  “I knew there was a reason I kept you around all these years.”

“You kept me around?  HA!  I think it’s the other way around, hun.” he smirked.

“Excuse me Trace, but your ass wouldn’t even be here right now if it hadn’t been for me all those times on the playground when Kyle Bartley threatened to beat you into a bloody pulp.”

“My point exactly.  I kept you around for protection.  See, I’m not as stupid as everyone thinks I am.”