“Jordyn after this you are getting some rest because of what-” Nick found a biscuit hitting his head and Jordyn ready to throw her cup too. “I’m shutting up.” Justin snickers shaking his head.
“I swear Nick. Cut. It. Out.” They finished eating and Nick cleaned up while Jordyn went to the studio. She had it built into the basement area so the basement basically was the music floor of sorts. Howie, Jc, and Nick soon came down while she was going through a small file cabinet atop a table. She pulls out a sheet.
“Okay so what about music?” Jordyn hands them each a piece of paper and they look at it.
“Since you all say your good at music why don’t you sight read that and sing it together?” Jordyn sits down behind her keyboard.
“This some pregnant thing you have going on Jordyn?” Jordyn growls at Nick.
“Why is everything about me being pregnant? I’ve been writing shit and want three people to sing in harmony on it - what is wrong with that?” Jordyn was just ready to stab them with knives. “Don’t make me become a serial killer cause I will, pregnant or not pregnant.”
“Fine.” Nick rolls his eyes and Jordyn feels even worse. He gives her no respect any more.
“Grr…” Jordyn spins her chair around and plays the song on the keyboard. She didn’t really care anymore if they sang or not, she just wanted to go into her Zen zone. Every time Nick was giving her no respect, limiting her of everything that made up her she locked herself in the basement and sort of ‘left’ the world behind.
She wants the kids out, just scared because she always feels like crap. That’s why the doctor told her to rest and just not worry because of possible depression. Nick doesn’t know about that though.
Jc started to sing, followed by Nick, then Howie. Jordyn kept playing and soon stopped listening to their accapella. They were doing it.
“See?” She stands back up leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. “You guys could make a great group.” Howie scoffs.
“I’d rather be solo.” He puts the sheet music down. He goes back upstairs.
“Jordyn I want you to go to bed early tonight okay? I’ll take care of the animals.” Nick goes upstairs as well. Jc stays looking at the music. Jordyn felt a rush of emotions go over her and she choked a sob. Jc looks up worried.
“Jordyn?” She covers her face and trying to NOT cry but can’t. She feels arms around her and Jc shushing her. “Hey calm down its okay.” He knew this wasn’t like Jordyn and the pregnancy was affecting her in a drastic way. He didn’t think Nick noticed at all. Jc holds onto Jordyn as she cries into his chest. She soon calms down and wipes her eyes.
“God I hate being pregnant.” Jc grabs a tissue and hands it to her. “My doctor said that with my mental history being pregnant could cause depression.” Jc nods.
“I figured something was up because this ain’t the Jordyn I know.” Jordyn chuckles.
“Yeah. It just seems no one is giving me any respect anymore, blaming it all the hormones saying she doesn’t mean it at all. Uhg.”
“I guess we’ve all been hard on you. Why didn’t you just tell us about it?”
“Because you’d say the same thing, oh it’s the hormones and she doesn’t mean it! But everything I say I mean okay? It just I can get emotional and sometimes suicidal.” Jc gasps and rubs her back.
“Well you have two more months. I’m just saying if you talk with Nick about this…”
“He’ll what?” Jc thinks for a second and sighs. Nick probably would do that same thing. He doesn’t understand relationships as much as anyone else. He is surprised Jordyn loves him.
“Lets just… I really like the song do you have any more duets?”
“They won’t do it.”
“Did you say they basically are ignoring you and crap?” Jordyn nods finally calm. “I’m not pregnant. I’ll get your point across.” Jordyn smiles.
“God, they are prejudice against pregnant women.” Jc laughs. “Its true!”
“I know what you mean. If you just want to get away and relax I’ll see what I can do about Nick. If I can get him to understand you…” Jordyn hugs Jc kissing his cheek.
“I like you better then everyone else right now Jc. Thanks.”
“No problem. Now, what other stuff do you got?” Jordyn grins and goes to her cabinet.
*
That night Jordyn takes a very long hot shower. She lets the water pour down her and slowly washes her body. She stares at her bump. “I’m glad I’m having you parasites but do you have to make me like this?” She felt a kick and grins. “I still love you.” She gets out and dries off. She dresses into sweats and a baggy shirt that covered her bump fully. She goes into the bedroom after tossing the towel into the hamper.
“Nick?” He looks up from the book he is reading. “You’re on my side of the bed.” She pulls her hair into a ponytail.
“Sorry.” He scoots over and goes back to reading. Jordyn climbs into bed lying on her side away from Nick. She stares at the wall and her eyes feel wet. “You know this book is really good. Tomorrow while I’m taking care of the ranch you should just sit in your chair and read it.” Jordyn covers her mouth trying not to let out a noise. She could still do things around the place. The doctor wants her to get exercise and rest, but Nick thinks breathing is enough exercise.
Nick puts his book away and shuts off the lamb getting under the sheets. He puts his back to Jordyn. “Night Jordyn.” He use to say ‘I love you’ and he would snuggle up to her. He would rub her stomach and talk about what they were going to do with the kid. Ever since she was told she was going to have twins he just…
Jordyn climbs out of bed pulling one of the blankets with her wrapping herself up. Nick doesn’t budge. Jordyn leaves the room and for good measure she slams the door shut as she goes to the living room. Nick shoots up and stares at the door. “Jordyn?”
*
Jordyn grabs some tissues and sits down on the couch snuggling up to her indoor cat. She tries to keep her crying down and watches House, telling herself she was going to be fine - Nick loved her and the kids will be born soon, then everything will be fine. Didn’t work.
Nick leans over the banister and stares at Jordyn who doesn’t see him. He watches as she pets the cat and stares at the TV every once in a while choking a sob. He slides down the wall and covers his face.
After a while he stands up slowly walking down the stairs. He stands at the foot of the stairs staring around the corner at Jordyn. She turns her head the light from the TV showing her tears.
“Don’t tell me I should be in bed cause I’m not listening to your shit anymore.” She wipes her eyes and goes back to watching TV. Nick nods and goes back to their room. He lies down on the bed and faces Jordyn’s side placing his arm over it. He stayed away from her because she was always yelling and angry. He wanted her to rest scared for the babies. When he found out he was having twins, he had to take more precautions.
Now Jordyn hated him and he didn’t know why. She was always yelling and hitting him and just… straying farther and farther away from him. He loved her – she was his world. But what the fuck was he going to do? He shut his eyes and sort of cries himself to sleep, having a nightmare of Jordyn walking out on him with the kids in her arms.
*
Next morning Nick goes into the kitchen finding Jordyn asleep on the couch. He sighs and sits down at the table grabbing a note pad and pen. He writes slowly, making sure to choose each word carefully. Then he leaves it as is on the table and goes outside to his truck already dressed.
Jordyn wakes up an hour later her bladder screaming. “Shut up, will ya? Yeash you’re an ass to me.” She hurries to the bathroom. She goes to the kitchen getting a cup of hot chocolate going. She stayed away from coffee, at least until the kids were at least two months old and she was back in shape. “What’s this?” She picks up the note pad and reads.
Hey Jordyn. Um… I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Seeing you last night scared me. Why are you so angry with me? I’m just… I don’t want to loose you baby. I love you and can’t wait for the kids to arrive. I want them healthy and strong, you too so we can be home and together as a family ASAP. Your pushing me away and I don’t get it. You don’t talk to me and even Jc was giving me the eye yesterday. You tell him something and I am just left in the dark. Wow, I don’t think that’s how relationships work.
I want us to talk when I get back. I need to clear my head and take care of some shit needing to be done with the ranch. I love you… so much!
Jordyn sits down at the table and feels even worse then she did last night. Now it’s her fault. She knows he’s at fault here… along with her maybe. She has depression; she knows it now. She wants it gone once the kids are out and she wants Nick to hold her again and trust her. She just wants everything to be normal again.
